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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159453">Awaiting Dawn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraMinamino/pseuds/SakuraMinamino'>SakuraMinamino</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Edo Period, Historical, M/M, Mates, Romance, Supernatural - Freeform, Vampires</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:34:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>128,634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraMinamino/pseuds/SakuraMinamino</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Living for centuries is draining. Neji's lived through war, famine, abuse, and humiliation all to get revenge on the one who betrayed him years ago. Even as others would grow depressed from their long existence, his hatred keeps him going, and it has become his one and only purpose for living. He didn't expect someone to bring him a slave. A slave who just so happen to be his mate. His mate is a foreigner, looks barbaric, and is male. Why was his luck so bad? Did he offend the gods in his last life to keep suffering misfortune? They cannot even communicate with one another. </p><p>So why is Neji drawn to this redheaded boy? His purpose in life is revenge, but this boy makes him forget. If he stops, if he indulges in his growing desires it will make him vulnerable, open for attack. His vulnerability has already cost Neji his life once. Can he afford to show that side of himself again or will it put him down for good?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gaara/Hyuuga Neji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this story takes place during the Edo Period. This prologue does insinuate rape. Nothing graphic, but you have been warned.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>What did he do to deserve this?</p><p>Everything hurt. Just the mere twitch of his finger sent shockwaves of pain down his body, all he could do was look blankly ahead, feeling the trails of tears run down his dirtied and bloodied face.</p><p>What had he done to earn such a life? Such betrayal? Had he done something in a previous life? Had he offended the gods so thoroughly that he was destined to live a life full of misfortune?</p><p>Just yesterday everything had been fine. His lord had given him so much praise for the clever idea he had offered to trap an opposing lord. He promised to reward him. Both of them.</p><p>Just in his peripheral, he could see the dried blood on his hands. Not his blood. The blood of his master. It hadn’t seemed real, yet it was still so vivid. He could see the scene so clearly in his head, but it couldn’t have been real. His kind master, crawling on the floor with a dagger in his back. His master had looked up at him with hurtful eyes, asking him why he did this. But he had done nothing. Only been at the wrong place at the wrong time.</p><p>In shock, he was slow at reacting. He could not utter a coherent sentence to defend himself when the guards rushed in, accusing him of the crime. The entire time they subdued and imprisoned him, he did not have the presence of mind to properly think his way out of the situation, filled with grief.</p><p>He had thought his sworn brother would speak for him. It was the only solace he had that night as he waited to be judged and sentenced. Seeing his brother’s face, he thought it would be okay, and a calmness swept over him. If anyone could save him, it would be his brother.</p><p>He was wrong.</p><p>Not only was he charged for killing his master, the princess accused him of forcing himself on her. The entire notion was ridiculous. He had a formal relationship with the princess, nothing more. His brother knew this, yet he supported her claims. And when she cried, saying she could never be married now, his brother said he was willing to take responsibility for his brother’s mistake, agreeing to marry her. He was sentenced to die at sundown by his own brother. And yet, even that fate was too good for him.</p><p>How pitiful was he? That this was how he was going to die in this life. He had done his best to be of use to those around him, yet all he was met with was misery.</p><p>“He stopped moving. Did he finally die?”</p><p>“Nah, he’s still warm…Still twitching… Feels good.”</p><p>“You and your damn curiosity. Still, his face is wasted on it being on a man’s body. Maybe we could have made some extra copper selling him to a brothel.”</p><p>“You heard him. We have to make sure he’s dead.”</p><p>“Don’t know why he’s so cautious. A piece of trash like this isn’t worth considering seriously.”</p><p>He tuned out his captors’ chatter as his body was forced to move against his will. Even with this humiliation, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything.</p><p>
  <em>Did you think I meant what I said? Trash should remember their place.</em>
</p><p>More tears fell from his unblinking eyes. How could he have been so blind back then? Such sweet words were never meant for a person like him. He shouldn’t have been so naïve.</p><p>He was trapped inside his own head or maybe he had lost consciousness. He didn’t even realize his captors had left until the sun had come up. He had been left for dead, not even given a proper burial and left to feed the animals with his corpse.</p><p>
  <em>Why did I give birth to trash like you?</em>
</p><p>He tried to crawl. He dragged his knee up in the dirt, pain radiating from his hips to such a degree, he cried out weakly and collapsed. Should he fight his fate? He had no honor anymore. He had been humiliated, emasculated, left naked on the mountain side. He had no idea where he was and had no strength to pull himself out of the forest. Even if he could, where could he go? He was just trash.</p><p>And yet he tried again, struggling to get his legs underneath him, feeling the blood trail down his body. His legs failed him again. The pain in his lumbar region was too great, but he didn’t give up, dragging his body with just his arms. His nails dug into the dirt, grass, and roots, pulling himself over the forest floor.</p><p>He didn’t want to die here. At the very least, he wanted someone to find his body and bury him well. All he wanted was a prayer for his soul. Couldn’t he have that?</p><p>
  <em>Trash will always remain trash, no matter how well you dress it.</em>
</p><p>He had no energy. His body was broken and abused. How could he get anywhere?</p><p>His vision swam, and his body gave out.</p><p>He didn’t want to die. He did nothing wrong. Who would avenge his master if he did not do it?</p><p>He tried again, his fingernails ripping off as he tried to pull himself up a hill.</p><p>That bastard needed to pay. He would not die until that bastard lay sprawled before his feet, pleading for his life, and should he die before then, he would curse that bastard with his dying breath.</p><p>He tumbled back down the hill, hitting his head against a rock in the process.</p><p>Should he die, he thought as a silhouetted figure loomed over him, he hoped he would be reborn immediately.</p><p>
  <em>I think…. I may be in love with you.</em>
</p><p>That way he could take his hatred into the next life and make sure he could exact his revenge and never be thought of as trash again.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Typical Day in a Boring Existance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Boring.</p><p>Life had become incredibly dull these past four decades. That's what Hyuuga Neji thought, sitting amongst the cherry blossoms that were beginning to bud. The branch was just high enough to look over the back wall of his home. The other side was a cliff that overlooked the city down below, where he could see the small forms of humans hustling to turn on the lanterns as night fell. In the distance, he could see the city's castle overlooking the city as if it was its protector.</p><p>60 years ago it was. Now that peace has settled over the country and its people thrived with new life, it was just a reminder of the warring states era half a century ago.</p><p>He supposed for his kind, an increase in the population was good. He should be thankful for the peace and the boom in food that came with it. He had grown up in the worst of it. Died because of it. He crawled his way back from the bottom, endured humiliation and tribulations to be where he was. But for what? To spend his days drinking wine?</p><p>Speaking of which, he poured himself another cup and took a sip. It was always difficult to start the day without a nip, but he had too many moments like this. Quiet, with just the sounds of humans bustling around their night district. Perhaps he should partake in a decent meal tonight.</p><p>"My lord, Nara-sama has arrived. He wishes to discuss the plans for the new tea house."</p><p>Neji lazily moved his eyes downward to see his house manager, kneeling in the grass below, his head bowed. The man was one of his older servants. His face was aged, and his hands were heavily scarred with deep gashes running along the backs of his hands and over the knuckles and fingers. He was also on the thinner side, making him look frail upon first inspection. If one looked closer, they would notice how steady and strong his hands were, and how his feet were always grounded and sturdy.</p><p>"Prepare him some tea. I will be there shortly," Neji responded, pouring another cup of wine.</p><p>"Yes, my lord." With light steps, he left, his presence erasing almost immediately. Old man Sugo was the definition of the servant's creed of not being seen or heard unless Neji called for him or he came to deliver news. Actually, most of his servants seem quite adept at that particular skill set. They were trained well.</p><p>Neji finished his cup, exhaling heavily and fogging the dark porcelain of the cup. His duties were waiting, and Nara would leave if he was kept waiting for too long.</p><p>Swinging his legs down, he dropped down from the tree, landing lightly on his feet. He held the wine jug loosely with his fingers as he walked back towards the main house, following the stone path.</p><p>His personal servants, a pair of identical twins were waiting, kneeled on the engawa, waiting for his return. Seeing him, they stood, bowing their heads to their master until he passed them. Silently, they followed him without being told.</p><p>The twins were young men, only 16 physically. They had narrow eyes, giving them a clever and witty look of a fox, but pale skin that was unusual to see in Japan. They had a youthful appearance, but their personalities were calm, quiet, and subservient. Neither really spoke other than to say, "Yes, Master."</p><p>He entered his room, and the two got to work, one taking the cup and wine jug from him while the other started to undress him.</p><p>They worked in tandem as if they were one individual, never speaking when they served. They were incredibly efficient even with their young age. These two were probably the youngest out of his servants, yet they acted older than most.</p><p>Once he was dressed, they both stepped back, standing side by side, bowed to their master, awaiting their next task.</p><p>"I will be going into town. Rub ink and prepare parchment for when I return."</p><p>"Yes, Master," they responded in unison.</p><p>They followed him out, escorting him to the waiting room. They waited outside as Neji entered, seeing his impatient advisor, sipping at his tea. "You're late," he commented with only a hint of his irritation leaking into his voice. "I was considering leaving."</p><p>Neji's lips ticked upwards at the rudeness Nara Shikamaru showed him. He was the only one brave enough to speak to him like this. Many people thought he was crazy when he appointed Nara to his position. He was blunt with his words and very direct, often angering those he spoke to. Rank or position meant little to him. Which was why Neji had appointed him his advisor. He didn't need a coward who feared to tell him difficult news or their own opinions. It also helped that Nara was clever and intelligent and was rarely ever wrong. Even so, if someone presented an idea different from his, he would not dismiss it, giving it proper consideration before making a decision final. Tokugawa was a fool for running Nara out of the capital.</p><p>"You won't leave. If you had, you would have to do all the work yourself, and we both know what extreme lengths you will go to avoid extra work."</p><p>This got a response from Nara, smiling a little as he drank the tea. "The <em>teahouse </em>has finished construction and awaiting your approval." Nara gave him a sidelong glance. "I'm surprised you invested in such a business. It's not normally something you're interested in."</p><p>Neji didn't sit, watching Nara from the doorway, tilting his head slightly. Nara was assessing him, digging for information. As lazy as Nara was, he was always curious. If one wasn't careful, he could gather information about you that even you didn't know.</p><p>"Shall we get going, or are you going to continue prying into business beyond your station?"</p><p>Nara conceded defeat, placing the cup on the tray. Standing, Nara scratched his head. There was no part of him that appeared as someone with high ranking birth besides his clothes. "Let's finish this quickly, my lord. My wife has been requesting that I return earlier."</p><p>Neji gave him a sidelong glance that Nara ignored as he walked past him. Well, it wasn't any of Neji's business. Nara was right, both of them would rather get their work done earlier.</p><p>It was just the two of them as they walked into town. At the least, it appeared that way. Four of his shadow guards were following, keeping a box formation around them. Dressed in black, they moved in the shadows, going unnoticed by the humans going about their nightly activities.</p><p>The night district was bustling. The gambling and pleasure houses were doing well. With the rise in merchants in the area, there was more wealth to go around, and they were becoming quite profitable. Which is why Neji was investing in a few businesses himself.</p><p>The "teahouse" had a modest front. It didn't stand out much at first glance. It was a plain storefront with a freshly made wooden sign above the entrance. A young girl dressed as a waitress was outside advertising. Honestly, that was the first sign that this wasn't a normal shop for a young woman to be out so late at night.</p><p>Seeing them, the woman hastily bowed to them. "Owner-sama," she greeted with the utmost respect. "Mama-sama is waiting for you in the back."</p><p>Nara thanked her while Neji completely ignored her presence, examining the inside of the store. The front area of the store was also very generic, lacking any distinction visually from its competitors. Which was fine as this was not its primary function. Another woman was waiting for him to lead him to the back where a set of stairs lead into the basement. This was where the real business was.</p><p>Leading through another door, he was greeted with ample light, showing off an elegant interior and a line of women at the entrance, bowing to greet him. "Master," they all said, smiling at him.</p><p>The eldest of the women stood in front, wearing a beautiful kimono that was higher quality than the rest. Her real name was Yamanaka Ino. Her hair was an unusual color of bright blonde with pale blue eyes, that gave her a unique and mysterious beauty. She was the first to raise her head, the others keeping their heads bowed. "Owner-san, we're honored you could come visit us tonight."</p><p>"Mama-san, are these the girls you hired?" he asked, looking over his merchandise with a critical eye. "They don't look very durable."</p><p>Her smile widened with a glint in her eye. "You have come a long way. Could I interest you in a drink?"</p><p>He nodded, following her further into the establishment. There was a large open room full of tables, all facing a stage. On the sides, there were several side rooms. Despite being underground, the center area had a two-story ceiling with a second floor with additional rooms up above. There was also a VIP sitting area on the second floor for private viewings of the stage without having to mingle with other customers.</p><p>The establishment of course was still empty so she led him up the stairs to one of the VIP rooms where Nara and Neji could sit. Four of the women who had greeted him entered, carrying trays and alcohol. Neji watched them passively, keeping aware of their every movement. "They've been trained well," Neji commented as two of the four women sat on either side of him, one pouring his drink. The other two sat next to Nara, giving him similar treatment.</p><p>"I oversaw their training myself. Vampires, demons, gods, they know how to adjust their behavior accordingly. I'm sure our customers will appreciate their durability as well. As long as the customer isn't actively trying to harm them, they should be fine and suffer only minor injuries," she said pridefully, but also with a flirty tone.</p><p>Neji nodded, trying the wine that was selected. It was smooth, with the aroma of peaches wafting from the liquid. The taste was light and fruity. It would do well with certain types of customers. "Bring me a sample of all the drinks you will be serving, and a sample of all your food as well."</p><p>"Of course," Yamanaka said, ordering the servant outside the room to do just that.</p><p>The women continued to serve him, flirting with him as they did, attempting to feed him each of the foods as they arrived.</p><p>"Try this, Master. It goes great when paired with the teriyaki. It eliminates the greasy taste."</p><p>"Tell us about yourself, Master. What type of women do you like?"</p><p>They were skilled in the art of conversation. They would make good companions for the majority of customers. Even when Neji didn't respond to any of their words or comments, they skillfully recovered, not discouraged. You couldn't tell what they were thinking, only what they presented. He was right to trust this woman to manage this specialty store. The food was also skillfully prepared and catered to their special clientele.</p><p>Neji thought over things as he chewed absentmindedly, already thinking about his next task for the night. It didn't stop the women from pressing themselves against him. How annoying.</p><p>"I expect the expense report to be sent to me by the end of the night. I want to open in two days' time."</p><p>The madam of the establishment fanned herself with her silk fan. "It has already been sent with a little gift from us." At Neji's questioning gaze, she clarified. "I just thought you should sample all the services we provide, no?"</p><p>Neji picked up a dessert, putting it into his mouth. She shouldn't have. She really shouldn't have. "Everything meets the standards I set. I have no complaints if you manage to maintain this quality once we open."</p><p>"Owner-san, do you doubt my abilities?" she asked flirtatiously.</p><p>Neji didn't answer. His establishment's first guest should be arriving soon.</p><p>As if on cue, a maid spoke up from outside the door. "Mama-san, Owner-sama, a guest has arrived.</p><p>The madam gave him a curious look which he blatantly ignored even as the door to the room opened.</p><p>"Well then, I'll leave you to your business, Owner-san," she stood and bowed as another man entered. She bowed briefly to the guest as she left, sending him a flirty smile as well, but unlike how she smiled at Neji, there was a predatory glint in her eyes that looked over him.</p><p>"Kishimoto-san, have a seat," Neji said. He didn't look up at the guest who entered, looking over the sample wine that had been brought and determining which one he wanted to try next.</p><p>The man who entered was nervous. Neji could smell the sweat he was exuding; hear the way his heart was pounding and how his footsteps shaking. He was trying to hide it of course. It was normal whenever this man was in his presence, but today it was worse than usual.</p><p>Kishimoto was well dressed, wearing the clothes of a daimyo and a top knot to match. His posture didn't seem to indicate such a high position as he remained hunched in Neji's presence, nervously sitting across from him. "Hyuuga-sama, I didn't know you knew of such an interesting place," he laughed nervously.</p><p>Neji remained quiet, still refusing to look at the man. Kishimoto was a man in his mid-forties and it would look weird for anyone to see him be so humble in front of a man who looked almost half his age.</p><p>"Why don't you enjoy some of the spread, Kishimoto-san before we talk business," Nara spoke up for Neji with a small smile. "The madam here has been kind enough to allow us to try their new menu."</p><p>"Oh, uh, how kind of you." Kishimoto kept glancing at Neji nervously who continued to give him the silent treatment. As he reached for a slice of sashimi, Neji cleared his throat. The action caused Kishimoto to flinch, dropping the fish.</p><p>"Are you nervous, Kishimoto-san? You seem to be having trouble," Nara commented with fake concern.</p><p>"Perhaps the daimyo has a guilty conscience, Nara-sama," the girl hanging onto Nara's right arm said, giggling.</p><p>"Now why would our precious lord of the city be guilty, silly girl," Nara gently scolded. Neji could hear the daimyo's heartbeat grow faster. "He's been working hard for Hyuuga-sama. Let's not say anything that could get him in trouble."</p><p>"Yes, Nara-sama," both girls chimed, giggling as Nara fed them some food.</p><p>Kishimoto picked up the sashimi again. His heart rate had stabilized a little. That wouldn't do. He sent a glance at Nara who immediately picked up what he wanted.</p><p>"Still, the health and wellbeing of our city lord are important. Why don't you girls make sure he eats well." The two women pouted a little but did as they were told, moving to Kishimoto's side.</p><p>Kishimoto grew uncomfortable, but he forced a smile on his face. "Thank you for being concerned about someone like me, Nara-sama." He kept glancing at Neji but didn't refuse the food the women tried to feed him.</p><p>Little by little, Kishimoto began to relax, chatting up the women at his side, getting tipsy off the wine. He was even groping the women as his behavior loosened up and the women playfully hit him. Meanwhile, Neji remained silent, listening and watching his every reaction.</p><p>"Hyuuga-sama, I must say you found an exquisite place. The food and women here are spectacular," he laughed, messily pouring himself another cup of wine. "It was kind of you to invite me to dine with you."</p><p>"Such flattery," Neji said, wiping some sauce off the corner of his mouth with his thumb and licking it clean. "But you should know that I am not a kind person. Or does your short memory not recall that it was Nara-san who invited you to eat, not I."</p><p>"I, uh," Kishimoto stumbled, unsure of what to say in response.</p><p>"What is your job, Kishimoto-san?"</p><p>The uneasiness from before seeped back into Kishimoto's posture, quickly sobering. "It's to manage the city, my lord."</p><p>Nara snorted, a smile on his lips that he covered with his fan. "The alcohol must have loosened your tongue and made your true thoughts known, else you surely jest."</p><p>Kishimoto's eyes widened in alarm, turning to plea to Neji who still did not bother to look at the man. He got onto his knees immediately, pressing his forehead to the floor. With a panicked voice, he begged. "Forgive me, Hyuuga-sama. I was not thinking clearly and misspoke."</p><p>"Your job," Neji interrupted the man, effectively silencing him, "is to act as the city lord and do as I say. You have no real title and no real duties other than to report to me." Neji spoke indifferently, holding out his cup to have it refilled by the women at his side. "Do I not pay you enough to do such a simple job? Do I not provide you a castle to live in? Servants to serve you? Provide you a good reputation? Did I not treat your family well for the past three generations?"</p><p>"Of course, you have, my lord. You have been nothing but magnanimous towards us." Kishimoto's voice quivered in fear, and his entire body trembled. Neji hadn't raised his voice. Hadn't changed its even cadence or indifferent tone, yet the man was so fearful. If this human carried so much fear, he shouldn't have tried to play him for a fool. "I will never misspeak again."</p><p>"Do you think that is what you should be apologizing for?" Neji glanced up for the first time, showing how little he thought of the man prostrated before him, begging for forgiveness.</p><p>Kishimoto didn't speak up. He did not want to admit his guilt in case Neji didn't know, but Neji knew everything that happened in this town. It was his town.</p><p>"Nara-san."</p><p>Nara closed his fan. "If I recall, my lord, Kishimoto has been buying and storing vast amounts of medicinal herbs. Herbs that would be needed if the epidemic that has spread through the village 20 ri away came here."</p><p>"I-I didn't think it was a crime…" Kishimoto tried to defend himself.</p><p>"It's not," Neji said, eating pickled cucumber. "However, I don't like what your motives are for doing so."</p><p>"M-motives?"</p><p>"I believe he means the intention to sell the medicine at outrageous prices once knowledge of the pandemic reaches the ears of the people. Or am I wrong?"</p><p>"M-my lord. Pl-please, don't be angry. This one was being too gree—"</p><p>"I do not like people who are so underhanded, who would take advantage of the weak and vulnerable just to raise one's reputation or profits." Neji put his chopsticks down. "But it does not end there, does it, Kishimoto?"</p><p>Dropping the honorific sent chills down Kishimoto's spine. He tried to shrink out of Neji's view now that Neji gave him his full attention.</p><p>"Did you or did you not plan to use that money to continue to fund and grow your own private army?"</p><p>"N-no, my lord," he denied so quickly with much desperation. "I would never."</p><p>Slowly Neji looked down at his cup which the woman at his side filled.</p><p>"Bring him in," Nara called. His eyes were quite cold even as he beckoned his women back to him.</p><p>The door yanked open and two of Neji's men, dressed all in black and wearing masks covering the lower half of their face, entered. The two men brought in a boy. Maybe 12 or 13 from appearance, forcing him onto his knees as he screamed, "Do you know who I am! I am the eldest son of the daimyo! If you do anything to me, you'll regret it!"</p><p>"Silence him," Neji said with a bored tone.</p><p>"Please don't, my lord," Kishimoto, grabbed his son's head by the hair, forcing him to bow much to his son's shock and confusion. "He does not know better. I've raised him poorly. Please spare him."</p><p>"Your son is to one day take your place, and you haven't told him who he will be serving?" Nara asked with false confusion and a hint of amusement. "How arrogant he acts in front of his future master." He looked at Neji with a tilted eyebrow. Nara was always good at stirring up trouble, acting the part of the instigator and gaining hatred towards himself and directing it away from Neji. So even if Neji dealt out punishments, Nara would be the target of their hatred. "It could be time to switch puppets, my lord. I would recommend starting with the child."</p><p>"No!" The man shuffled towards Neji, grabbing the edge of Neji's sleeve, causing him to spill some of his wine, much to Neji's annoyance. "My lord. I was wrong. I stepped out of line. You were right about everything. I will disband the private army. I will donate every dime that I have to the peasants. I will gladly perform seppuku in front of you, but please, spare my son and family. Please show them your mercy."</p><p>Neji turned dead eyes onto the man. The fear the stare instilled made him let go of Neji's sleeve instinctively, pulling them back. "And why should I show you mercy when you lied to my face about your crimes and had the intent to one day kill me," he asked, still calm and detached. "Should I not punish your family for the crimes you committed? For believing you could take power and control from me?"</p><p>Fear froze Kishimoto in place, his mouth working wordlessly.</p><p>"F-father?" the boy spoke up with his voice quaking. Seeing his father begging for Neji's forgiveness, he was beginning to understand his father was not at the top of the food chain, that he had no power like he had thought.</p><p>"Still," Neji continued, "Your father and grandfather have served me well. I would be remiss if I did not take into consideration their hard work because their child became temporarily short-sighted. Sparing you for your deeds just this once should be honor enough for their memory."</p><p>Kishimoto let out a shaky breath, bowing, "Thank you, my lord. You are very kind. Your mercy shall not be forgotten."</p><p>"I shall do you a favor as well," Neji said, making Kishimoto stop in his praise and gratitude. "Since you are having difficulties in educating your son, I shall assist you and educate him myself."</p><p>Kishimoto's face paled so quickly that he resembled a ghost within seconds. "Th-that's not necessary, my lord. I would not want to trouble you with my idiotic son."</p><p>"Kishimoto-san, are you turning down Hyuuga-sama's gracious offer after he just showed you such kindness towards you and your family?" Nara asked.</p><p>Kishimoto winced, turning his eyes downward. His eyes watering as he humbly said, "Then I will leave my son in your care. Please take care of him."</p><p>"F-father?" the boy's voice wavered. Neji signaled for the men to take the child away, hauling him away. "Father! Don't make me go!" he screamed, being dragged through the halls until he suddenly went silent. Kishimoto's shoulders were shaking, fighting to keep himself from saying another word.</p><p>"Why do you look distraught, Kishimoto? It's not like you won't see your son again. You may see him any time you like with a formal written request and appointment. I'm not a monster." Neji said standing, looking down at the man. "I look forward to your continued service and loyalty, Kishimoto-san."</p><p>Neji left with the man still bowing with Nara following close behind. It was two of the major things on his list done today, but there were also a ton of little things to do, and the constant attention from those women had been tiring.</p><p>"Your tongue has become sharper over the years, Nara-san. I'm starting to think you like playing the obvious villain."</p><p>"Does it seem that way?" Nara asked with passing curiosity, already sounding bored. Knowing Nara, he had already filed the incident into the past and focusing on his next business objectives for the evening.</p><p>"Like you were a completely different person."</p><p>"Is that so," he said, seemingly a bit curious as if he was unaware of his behavior just then. Well, he wasn't going to force the issue. Whether Nara enjoyed it or not did not matter, only the results it caused.</p><p>Still, what was done was done. The boy would be trained to be loyal to him and only him. He sighed internally. Perhaps he would need to start taking their firstborn sons under his wing to ensure their loyalty from now on. Human memory was short. Each generation a step removed from the promise their ancestors made. He could not afford another betrayal.</p><p>"Shall we return, or do wish to investigate the town yourself, Hyuuga-sama?"</p><p>"Since we are here…"</p><p>Hyuuga was quick with checking the state of the town. He knew where information tended to flow, where those with unsavory tastes and business tended to interact, how the level of business at certain establishments correlated with the economic prosperity of the town as a whole. He knew all of this, and seeing it with his own eyes, gave him a clearer picture than those in the reports given to him, but there was no pleasure in it. No pleasure with working with his hands. He had grown numb to the atrocities humans committed on a daily basis. Grown tired of their excuses and weak will. Tired of always blaming someone else rather than themselves.</p><p>By the time he returned home, he was tired, and not much in the mood to deal with anyone else. Humans drained his patience, and he had done enough to satisfy some of his advisors' complaints.</p><p>"Haru. Natsu." He called out upon entering the gates, feeling exhausted.</p><p>The twins appeared instantly, ready to serve, and quickly followed him to his room to help him divest of his clothing and change into his nightclothes. Today's events were nothing new. By next week, it would just blend into the other days. He wouldn't even recall what day these events took place.</p><p>"My lord, a woman sent by the madam of the Heavenly Palace arrived while you were away. Shall we send her to your room?" Natsu asked as he combed Neji's hair.</p><p>"Perhaps," he said, turning the page in his novel he had picked up in town. "I'll consider it."</p><p>Natsu said nothing else and finished preparing him for bed as Haru prepared the futon.</p><p>How many more years did he have to wait until he heard something? All these years and he was no closer to his goal. How many more years did he have to wait? Should he spread out his influence more in hopes that maybe something will change or should he give up his pursuit and realize it was all for not.</p><p>As Haru finished up with his hair, he was finally able to focus and become invested in his novel, putting his wayward thoughts behind him, when one of his shadow guards dropped from the ceiling, immediately kneeling in front of Neji. "Pardon my intrusion," he said in a low voice so that no one outside the room could hear.</p><p>Neji wasn't startled by the sudden appearance. There were two entrances into his room his shadow guards used that was hidden to everyone but them. "You've come to talk about our foreign visitors," Neji guessed, turning the page in his book. He had heard about them while he was in town and had seen the sails of their boats. It was only a matter of time before someone reported it. "I thought I gave you orders to kill them if they dare come here again."</p><p>"You did, my lord," the shinobi said. "But they insisted on seeing you, calling you out by name. They know that you are the true ruler of this city, not Kishimoto-san."</p><p>"How troublesome," Neji thought. He couldn't say he was annoyed. It was hard to get worked up about anything as of late. Still, he couldn't say that he was happy to have to dress again after he just finished everything for the day to do more of the same thing. "And?"</p><p>"And they bring tributes. Specifically, for you. They say they want to work out a deal to get permission to trade here."</p><p>Neji exhaled heavily, closing his book. "Have them wait in the reception hall."</p><p>"Yes, my lord." The shinobi bowed, leaving as quickly and suddenly as he came. As soon as he left Natsu and Haru returned to redress him, moving to get his formal wear.</p><p>"Don't bother. They aren't important enough to warrant it." Both boys nodded, one leaving to get a normal kimono for him to wear. A kimono and haori were enough to meet foreigners who weren't going to live long. He was already being inconvenienced; he wouldn't let them ruin his comfort as well. He even waved them away when they moved to fix his hair. Having it tied at the end was good enough.</p><p>Leisurely, he went to go meet his guests. He was vaguely surprised to find the reception room filled with all his advisors. He wondered who called them as it was already late, and he had not invited them to his manor as he was conducted business off the property for most of the day. There was six of them, all seated in their respective spots in two rows facing each other with space between them.</p><p>At the head of the two rows was Neji's seat. To his right sat Nara, who was of course his right-hand man. He was simply his advisor. Well versed in all things, Neji never gave him a more descriptive title.</p><p>Next to Nara sat Sarutobi Asuma, captain of the guard. He was a middle-aged man with a light and wispy beard with short hair pulled back into a very short ponytail. He was well built, and his size could be thought of as intimidating, especially when he donned his armor like he was now, but had surprisingly kind brown eyes that showed his soft heart.</p><p>Next to him sat his wife, Kurenai. A beautiful woman who wore only the lightest makeup, she had ruthless and cunning eyes that could shred any man to bits. Even in a kimono, she never seemed restricted. When she spoke, it was always sharp and without fear. No man intimidated her. Though hesitant, Neji had allowed her to be his financial advisor. It was not strange for a woman to have control over financial accounts in the home and thought it was a good trial to see if a woman could hold any position of power. She had actually kicked him for that, angry she was turned down for the positions she wanted. Her husband had to bow for an entire day as an apology in her stead.</p><p>On Neji's left, Namikaze Minato sat as his political advisor. He had a kind and gentle demeanor. At first glance, he appeared soft-spoken and often avoided conflict, and yet, he was one of the best political strategists Neji knew. He did have an odd disfigurement. Blue eyes and blonde hair. It stood out and unnerved people who saw him which often assisted him in his line of work. He also received Kurenaii's sharp comments and jealousy with good humor and stride.</p><p>Beside Minato was Uchiha Itachi. Also someone who appeared to have a mild temperament, he may be secretly the cruelest out of the group. Not that he was a bad person, just that he was more willing to punish those he thought deserved it. He had an image of a young man and had a very noble upbringing and demeanor. If someone said he was a shogunate's son, everyone would believe it. He rivaled Nara in intelligence but gracefully chose to remain as simply the economic advisor, not fighting Nara for his position, who arguably had Neji's ear the most.</p><p>Lastly was Hatake Kakashi. The youngest in appearance, he was also the quietest. He commanded Neji's shadow guard, the group of shinobi under Neji's command. He offered no advice. He sat in on meetings so that he was always aware of everything going on around Neji and carried out Neji's commands. His advisors were unaware of Kakashi's true work. They were told that he was the records keeper, keeping track of their meetings and discussions. Neji suspected Nara and possibly Uchiha knew his true job, but neither said nor did anything to acknowledge Neji's suspicions.</p><p>Also in the large reception room, two foreigners were seated opposite of Neji. Kakashi was also sitting a bit closer to them than necessary, not that the foreigners would know that. The first foreigner was dressed well. Dressed in Chinese silk and wore jade accessories, he was obviously someone of high birth. He was slightly overweight and had confidence he really shouldn't have. The one sitting slightly behind him was dressed well but didn't have the same quality as the other. He was adequately handsome but was in a servant position. He was more nervous than his master. Lacking the confidence his master displayed and had a humble air. It was a shame he was going to have to die for his master's stupidity.</p><p>Seeing him, his advisors stood and bowed to him. Neji walked further into the room, taking his seat at the head of the advisors. Seeing the advisors stand, the guests stood as well, bowing in greeting with a cupped fist. "Greetings, Hyuuga-sama. It is an honor that you were willing to meet with us."</p><p>Neji ignored the grating voice of the nobleman. His accent had been thick and grinding.</p><p>Asuma spoke up, turning to the foreigners with his hand on his sword. "Who dare gave you the right to address our lord," he said coldly. It was odd enough that Asuma had come with a weapon as none of his advisors were allowed to be armed during their meetings. Neji shot a gaze at Kakashi who was still acting humbly. Kakashi must have allowed it in case the foreigners caused problems. It wasn't an official meeting after all.</p><p>Neji raised his hand, causing Asuma to step down and silence to fill the room. Neji took his seat and his advisors followed, leaving the foreigners unsure if they should stand or sit as well. Neji didn't tell them to sit, leaving them in their confused state. Neji didn't even bother to show them any respect. He put his hands in his sleeves, and with a disinterested tone, stated, "You have until the incense finishes burning to impress me. Else your lives are forfeit."</p><p>The noble Chinese man was taken back but Neji's direct and rude behavior. He seemed surprised that he was being treated in such a way. Entitled nobles were the most annoying to deal with.</p><p>The incense Neji spoke of sat in a pot on a shelf just behind and to the right of Neji. It was nearly burned out. About two or three minutes left by Neji's guess. His mind was already wandering to the plot of his book as he stared blankly at the guests, not really intending to hear much about what they have to say. Out of the two, the commoner looked more appetizing. His blood probably tasted sweeter and not as fatty.</p><p>The nobleman cleared his throat to shake off his nerves Neji's words had caused and started his pitch with an awkward smile. "My lord, we have come as merchants to request permission to trade in your city. We can offer many fine wares that you cannot get anywhere else. The latest medical texts from the western mainland, fabrics, spices, rare herbs, jewels, and precious metals. This will be a great opportunity for you. With the borders to your country closed, no other merchant will be able to provide you with such rare and exotic merchandise." The man's eyes flickered to the stick of incense. "Surely you would like to be the first to experience it."</p><p>This man's voice wasn't getting any easier to listen to. Even with only listening with half an ear, it was getting on Neji's nerves.</p><p>With his lack of interest apparent, the nobleman was getting more flustered, his eyes dashing to the incense and stumbling more over his words.</p><p>"My master is willing to offer tribute to you for allowing us to trade here," the servant spoke up. He smelled of fear, more so than his master, and yet his voice was surprisingly steady and calm with a less harsh accent and solidifying Neji's choice to eat him first. "15% of our profits will be given to you as well as a rare selection of goods as tribute with each and every visit, and should you choose to purchase from us in the future, a 50% discount as you would be out most valued benefactor."</p><p>They were really offering quite a lot of their profits. They must have thought they would make quite a bit of money in this small port town. It could be a good source of income, but it did not come without a lot of risk. Unfortunately for them, Neji had no desire to make money off of these Westerners, so it wasn't even worth considering the pros and cons of agreeing. He was just waiting for the incense to run out.</p><p>Seeing Neji was still not moved, the two Chinese men looked at each other worriedly. "A-allow us to show you the gifts we brought for you," the nobleman spoke again, putting Neji in a worse mood. "Bring them in," he bellowed.</p><p>Asuma, as well as Kakashi, glanced at Neji, silently asking if they should stop him. Neji merely ignored their looks. He had promised the time, and he would give it. They could wait another minute to kill him.</p><p>Big and burly humans came in with large chests and crates, hurried by the nobleman to move quicker. He was checking the incense constantly, knowing his time was running short. "I have brought you many different types of delicacies," he said, struggling to keep his smile. "As well as beauties from my home country to serve you." He had the men open the chests to show vast riches. Jewels, expensive fabrics, foreign texts, and even firearms. The women and riches were expected. He wasn't the first person to send women and gold his way. Neji grew bored of them within a week. Sooner if they were unlucky. Humans were less coordinated and weaker than his kind, and Neji honestly had little sexual desire. On the off chance he did, he would hire a geisha or prostitute to handle it. As for money, he did not lack it and did not need it. Firearms were more trouble than they were worth if he was caught with them by Tokugawa. So there was nothing that gained Neji's attention in a positive way.</p><p>His eyes watched the remaining seconds, seeing the exact moment the incense went out. He breathed out in relief. "Your time is up," he said with a dry tone.</p><p>As he was about to get up and leave, Nara's voice stopped him. "Hyuuga-sama, your eyes."</p><p>His eyes? Neji's brows furrowed, unsure of what Nara was getting at until Nara gestured with his eyes to one of the chests. It was the last chest the nobleman had opened in a hurry. Inside was a young man of the likes Neji had never seen before. His skin was pale. Paler than he had ever seen on a person with untamed beautiful red hair.</p><p>Seeing the first sign of interest in Neji's face, the nobleman pounced on it. "I heard that your palette has a unique taste compared to us mortals, my lord. I brought him as a tribute to you in hopes he may offer an exotic taste to your diet."</p><p>Two of the men who had brought in the gifts lifted the young man out, forcing him onto his knees. It was a man, wasn't it? His hair was long and curled. His body shape was dwarfed in the rags he wore. His legs and hands were tied, his mouth gagged, and his eyes blindfolded. Even when they handled him roughly, he did not cower. He kept his back straight when he could, though it must have been painful after being stuffed into a box for so long. He held his head high with dignity even as he was being offered as a sacrifice.</p><p>He looked back to Nara who nodded again, confirming what Neji suspected, that Nara had been referring to his eyes turning sliver. But that couldn't be. This was a man, wasn't it?</p><p>Neji's eyes stayed fixated on the young man. He didn't move or even breathe, sitting unnaturally still though he wanted to look at his advisors. Was he really this unlucky? Was this little boy really…</p><p>"We will accept the boy in trade for your life," Nara said, speaking up. "As for the deal, we will tell you our decision tomorrow evening." Nara looked at Neji to see if that was alright.</p><p>Neji stood, leaving first, not bothering to watch his servants come in to untie the boy. With great effort, he managed to leave without appearing that he was in a hurry.</p><p>How was his luck this bad, he thought, going to the courtyard and sitting in the cherry tree once more. There was not enough wine to make this situation better. Didn't mean he wasn't going to try though.</p><p>Haru or Natsu supplied him a bottle. He couldn't remember which one as his vision started to blur by the time Nara came outside to join him. Nara didn't say anything at first. Just standing at the bottom of the tree, leaning against the trunk.</p><p>"I sent the boy to be bathed and had them prepare a room for him," Nara said, closing his eyes. "Unless you want him sent to your room."</p><p>Neji watched the horizon, now gaining a pinkish hue. "Are the gods punishing me for a mistake in my past life? Why would they give me a man to be my mate? Years of building up my reputation to be undone with his appearance."</p><p>Nara snorted, clicking his tongue as if annoyed. "If I may be frank," Nara said dropping the formalities, "Living as long as we do, whether it is a man or woman does not matter. Mates are meant to keep us sane and give us purpose when we must bear living for so long. Can you honestly say you have not been growing bored of living in recent years?"</p><p>Nara was right, as always, but it didn't matter if he was bored. He would never give up on living, not until he got his revenge. "I don't need a mate to give me purpose."</p><p>"Even so, don't think too much of it. The young ones may mock you, but they do not yet know better."</p><p>He chuckled. "What young ones would dare mock me? Do they grow tired of living?"</p><p>Nara shrugged nonchalantly as he replied, "Did I insinuate there was one here?"</p><p>"Bastard," he shot back, slipping in the vulgar speech for a moment. Sighing, he looked back to the horizon. "Did you know they were bringing him?"</p><p>"You give me too much credit. I'm not psychic." Nara rolled his shoulders letting the bones crack.</p><p>Neji lips pursed in displeasure.</p><p>"But I did get a fortune" Nara tacked on. "Something about not passing on meeting with an unexpected guest. Seeing as we saw their ship while in town, I had a feeling they might show."</p><p>Neji didn't think it was the full story. Nara did regularly get his fortune told, but it didn't explain why he called all his advisors here. Nara was too clever for his own good. There had been a good chance that Neji wouldn't have seen the foreigners and just ordered their deaths. Even on the off chance that he did, Neji had no intention of taking their deal. However, if Nara knew about the boy beforehand, it would make more sense. With his advisors present to see the boy and Neji's eyes, Neji couldn't pretend the boy didn't cross his path, but that leaves the question as to how Nara would have known the boy was his mate and how he knew they would come tonight.</p><p>Nara was someone who could not be trusted. He knew too much and did things like this with motives that were unknown to him. Putting distance between them may have been a wise choice at this point, in preparation to sever ties after a while.</p><p>"Your wife is waiting for you. You shouldn't keep her waiting."</p><p>"You're right. She's probably waiting to beat me for being late again," Nara agreed. "Then if you would excuse me," he bowed to Neji and took his leave.</p><p>Neji spent some more time watching the sunrise and finishing his wine, now sufficiently drunk. The downside to being what he was was the amount of alcohol needed to get to this state. He could fake being sober, walk straight enough without suspicion, and hide his slur for the most part. He shouldn't allow himself to become this vulnerable, but at times, like now, he couldn't help it.</p><p>Seeing his head butler, Neji told him to send the woman from the heavenly pleasure house to his room before going in himself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this is a fanfiction of the original work version of Free Me from Desolation (a parallel story to Blood of the Immortal). I've been writing the original version of Free me and Blood of the Immortal and I grew to love Yuji and Akira (Neji and Gaara's equivalent). So it is a bit odd to switch back from original story back to fanfiction, but I really enjoy writing this story and wanted to share it but original work doesn't get read. Some characters in this story, since it started as an original work, don't have naruto equivalents. If you can think of a Naruto equivalent that could take Sugo, Hatsu, and Naru's place, that will be helpful.</p><p>Honestly, I am unsure if I will continue this as a fanfiction. While Gaara's behavior and attitude will be the same, Neji grown up, having suffered trauma, and putting him in another time period set in a realistic setting may make him too OOC for readers. The realistic setting in itself may make it hard to be a Naruto fanfiction. I tried to incorporate more real Japanese style conversations, respect, and what not rather than a manga version of it. I am posting the non-fanfic version elsewhere, but if you want me to continue a fanfic version of it despite the flaws, let me know.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Finally  Meeting Face to Face</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Long dark hair. It always felt like silk between his fingers. It would fall between them like water whenever he was asked to help put it in a ponytail. He always thought it was beautiful against tanned skin.</p><p>A small groan escaped him before he cut it off and gripped the hair between his fingers tighter.</p><p>This hair wasn’t quite the same. Just as black, but a little courser, thicker than what he desired, but the eyes were fairly close. Round, playful, with that hint of innocence that pulled him in. He recalled when those eyes would pin him down across the room, how heated his skin would become. He would imagine being under that lithe body with those eyes. Or better yet, looking up at him with that vulgar mouth wrapped around his member.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, breathing heavily, and his vision still swimming from the alcohol, he saw a silhouette in the dark, their head bobbing up and down as they worked on him with enthusiasm. For a moment he saw someone. Someone with dark hair, tanned skin, and dark eyes that pierced his soul.</p><p>But the grip on him was too weak. The hands too small. The groans too high pitched.</p><p>
  <em>Neji, can’t you love me?</em>
</p><p>Neji blinked, his night vision finally kicking in properly through his drunken haze and shoved the prostitute off him, striking her.</p><p>“M-my lord?” the woman stared up at him from the floor, puzzled and confused. “Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>He ground his teeth, readjusting his night clothes. This type of woman. How had he mistake her for someone else? Just because her hair and eyes were similar because that’s where the similarities ended. He hadn’t thought of that person in such a way in decades and yet her appearance made him recall such an unpleasant memory.</p><p>Just looking at her turned his mood foul. She was only here because of that boy. If that boy wasn’t here, he wouldn’t have been trying so hard to take his mind off the past.</p><p>The prostitute made the mistake of speaking up again, drawing his attention back to her, “My lord?”</p><p>In the dark, she looked like him. That was an offense he would not forgive. “Come here,” he said in a low voice that sent fear through the woman. She did not want to. Her body shook and her movements were locked in place until she forced them to move in jerky movement, following his command.</p><p>When she was within arm’s reach, he grabbed her hair, pulling her closer so he could trap her within his arms. She did not dare pull away, but it didn’t matter if she did as he yanked her head back exposing her neck. “M-my lord…. P-p-p-please don’t.” Her voice cracked as she pleaded, tears flowing freely and smudging her makeup.</p><p>“Blame your poor luck,” he said coldly before his fangs dug into her flesh. Hot liquid poured into his mouth. The taste was stale, a sign she was malnourished, possibly diseased, but even if it had a more appealing taste, Neji would barely notice. Food was food. Most blood tasted the same to him now-a-days. Even as he swallowed mouthfuls of blood, heard her blissful groans that grew quieter and quieter, even as her warm body slowly turned cold in his arms as he bled her dry, he felt nothing and tasted little. The only thing he felt, even just briefly, was when he let her go and she fell onto the futon pale and lifeless. If he didn’t focus on the specifics, she resembled that person quite a bit, and it felt like he had achieved his goal, even if just brief moments.</p><p>“Natsu, Haru,” he called out, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief he kept near his bed. He stepped passed the screen separating his sleeping quarters from the rest of the room, seeing the two servants enter the room as quietly as possible. “Clean up this mess.”</p><p>Without question or comment, they went to work. One dragging the body out of the room for disposal and the other changing the sheets. As they worked, Neji noted that the sun had finished coming up outside. His room was kept dark so he could sleep during the day, but seeing the light shining through the cracks in the door as his servants came in and out, it really had gotten late.</p><p>Would he even be able to sleep at this rate? He padded over to his desk, pouring himself another glass of wine. If he closed his eyes, would he dream again?</p><p>He downed the cup, relishing the burn.</p><p>“Master, we have finished your request.”</p><p>“Anything else that you desire from us?”</p><p>The twins asked. Neji drank one more glass of wine, letting his thoughts numb. “No,” he replied, staring into his cup. “That is all.”</p><p>+</p><p>His sleep was short and restless. Unwanted dreams kept assaulting him, keeping him from his peaceful night. When he finally gave up, getting out of bed, he was too tired to think much about anything. His head was heavy and throbbing, and Neji thought with amusement that the feeling was very human. It took some skill to feel this bad after technically being dead.</p><p>His evening routine was the same as always. The twins came and prepared him for the night, and he reviewed his duties that needed to be done that day. The routine helped with his headache as his mind was set on his list of things he needed to take care of. Perhaps it was because he had forgotten the source of his recent stress until he finally left his room and headed towards his study where his paperwork was waiting. On his way, he saw two servants, one of which was the boy he had taken in the night before, carrying a tray full of uneaten food. Both stopped to bow, waiting for him to pass. The human boy very reluctant to do so, but too timid too refuse, his pride in check.</p><p>Neji was confused. Who would his servants be serving food to? His eyes drifted to the door, recalling it was an unused bedroom. It was then he recalled what had caused those dreams to surface. The air around him grew cold and the human boy who was still bowing, started to shake with fear. Without a word, he continued to walk past the room, not giving it a second glance.</p><p>First thing was first, he had a meeting to attend with his advisors. Every day he met with certain advisors. Once a week, he would meet with all of them at once. Of course, if there was a problem, they would come as often as needed.</p><p>As expected, they were all present. This time, no one carried weapons on them, and Neji was properly dressed in his formal garb. They gave him a formal greeting, and Neji sat down to start today’s discussion.</p><p>In recent years, their discussion had been short. With the country in peaceful times and the frequent battles no more, it was harder to act without drawing attention to themselves. While Asuma commanded Neji’s private army, he was mostly on standby, unable to act with Tokugawa’s reign. Any action had fallen to Kakashi with assassinations, but even then, they couldn’t be careless. There was always a thin political line that they had to be wary of. Which has led to Neji being forced to strengthen his economic and financial standing to gain political power. After all, assassinations and espionage were risky moves that could be used against them if they were caught.</p><p>Unfortunately, building financial and economic power took time and was not as interesting and active as managing a military. It was easier to hire a few people to act the part as the owners as powerful merchant families and have Kurenai manage them. He checked the books and ensured everything matched, but building funds took time and wasn’t as fast paced as trying to outwit the enemy on the battlefield.</p><p>Today, they had to discuss the deal with the foreigners, something Neji wasn’t looking forward to but wanted to get out of the way. Interesting enough, Nara steered the topic for last, expertly diverting the conversation away whenever someone started to bring it up.</p><p>Neji gave him several side long glances, wondering what exactly Nara was up to. He had been acting strange since those foreigners showed, and he was not the only one who noticed. His other advisors would glance at each other and sometimes him whenever Nara redirected the conversation. In fact, Nara kept dragging out the meeting for hours.</p><p>Neji didn’t stop him, assessing his advisor’s actions and trying to deduce what he was up to. He couldn’t understand his aim. What would Nara gain from prolonging the conversation? Was he trying to keep his advisors away from their duties? None of them had anything urgent to do. It wasn’t like they would change their minds about what they were going to choose.</p><p>Neji was impressed that Nara was able to keep it going for so long even as topics began to run out; however, Neji did have other things to do that day and his boredom was starting to overshadow his curiosity. When Nara moved to change the topic for what was probably the 50<sup>th</sup> time, Neji interrupted. “Nara-san is so detailed in his work today. He keeps wanting to ensure things we’ve already confirmed so he does not forget a single thing.”</p><p>Nara bowed his head a bit. “You flatter me, Hyuuga-sama. I am just ensuring that everything will go as you planned.”</p><p>“How diligent of you,” Neji said. “I did not know that being so diligent required things to be repeated so many times, even things that you should already have known.”</p><p>Nara didn’t flinch at the subtle insult. “Is it not a good idea to ensure that everyone is of one mind and know your thoughts?”</p><p>“Of courses not. It’s essential that they do, but if they need so many reminders for things like the protocols for sending an everyday report to me when there has been no breach prior, then I must wonder if I should replace them for having such a poor memory.” Neji looked pointedly at Nara. “But since I have confidence in everyone’s ability, and I’m sure no one doubts mine, people may assume that Nara-san is stalling for some reason.”</p><p>“What a funny joke, my lord. As if someone would dare try to stall you,” Nara replied smoothly.</p><p>Nara did have a good poker face. Even with Neji calling him out, he was still natural in his delivery even when it was clear that he was stalling. It was also stupid to tell an obvious lie to Neji.</p><p>Everyone was quiet as Neji contemplated how he was going to deal with Nara. Nara was being too bold. He couldn’t let him go without punishment else the other advisors may get the wrong idea.</p><p>There was a knock and the head butler entered without permission. No servant was allowed inside this room without Neji’s permission, and his thin patience due to Nara’s behavior was about to snap as yet another one of his subordinates was betraying his orders.</p><p>“My lord, pardon my intrusion,” Sugo got onto his knees and bowed. “I have come with a message I thought you should be aware of,” the servant said. The servant didn’t say more, causing Neji to frown slightly.</p><p>Sugo had served him well and had never interrupted him like this before. Good servants like him were hard to come by. “Do not hesitate. Everyone here is trustworthy,” he said looking at Nara.</p><p>The servant still hesitated, rousing Neji’s curiosity as to what could make Sugo hesitate once Neji had given a command. The old man tensed as he replied, “My lord, your ma—… the boy who is staying with us has fainted. We think it is of hunger but due to his harsh journey, we request permission to fetch a doctor for him.”</p><p>At the mention of the boy, Neji’s mood soured. “If he is fasting, is it our job to interfere?” His words were cold and cutting, his displeasure at being reminded of the boy’s existence showing. The servant fell silent as did the room.</p><p>Two breaths passed before Neji noticed the shift in atmosphere in the room. The awkward atmosphere Nara had created shifted to freezing, and all but two of his advisors had turned stony as if they were distancing themselves from him.</p><p>Neji cursed inwardly for his thoughtless words, realizing his mistake too late. Swallowing his annoyance and forcing calm once more he spoke in a more neutral tone, “However it would be wise to make sure he is not suffering. Bring the best doctor in the village immediately and compensate him well for his services.”</p><p>“Yes, Hyuuga-sama,” Sugo said, bowing once more and leaving the room quickly.</p><p>The atmosphere did not change after Old Man Sugo left. The Sarutobis, Uchiha, and Namikaze sat silently, but the way they looked at him changed. Kurenai was glaring at him. Asuma was avoiding his gaze, Uchiha actually had a spark of anger, and Namikaze was uncharacteristically stoic. All his advisors were older than him, and Neji had forgotten the unspoken rule amongst vampires.</p><p>“Seeing as things have developed this way, perhaps we should quickly discuss the last topic of the day,” Nara said, fanning himself. He seemed to be the only one whose attitude had not changed. “Should we accept the Chinese’s offer for making a trading port.”</p><p>“I’m against it,” Asuma was the first to speak. He didn’t look at Neji as he normally did, just kept his eyes down. “They are responsible for harming Hyuuga-sama’s mate. Someone needs to uphold justice for him.”</p><p>“I agree,” Namikaze responded as well. “The shogunate has demanded the country to remain closed. Only three ports have permission to continue trade. If we are discovered, it could bring the shogunate’s and the imperial army down upon us and draw unwanted attention. The overall political risk is not worth cooperating with him.”</p><p>“That is true,” Uchiha said, he was forcing his words to remain civil with visible effort as he closed his eyes to hide his rebellious gaze. “However, it may provide an economic boom to this city and access to resources we do not have.”</p><p>“So we should sell our pride for money?” Kurenai spat her words full at venom at Uchiha. “We have more than enough financial support that only continues to grow. We do not need a foreigner’s help to maintain our businesses, army, or civilians. If anything, they deserve death for daring to come into our territory and daring to harm Hyuuga-sama’s mate.”</p><p>“I am speaking from an economic standpoint, as you should speak with a financial one,” Uchiha said calmly, opening his eyes and fixing a cold gaze on her. “Do not let your emotions on a matter cloud your judgment.”</p><p>“So my husband can make a decision based on his emotions but I can’t?” Kurenai growled.</p><p>“Sarutobi-san offers a militaristic view. This hardly has anything to do with his division or specialty,” Uchiha replied.</p><p>Kurenai was about to get to her feet when her husband placed a hand on her arm. “Uchiha-san is correct. I should not base my opinion solely on my emotions,” Asuma said, offering his wife comfort to her anger. “But do you not wish to uphold justice for the boy, Uchiha-san?” he asked.</p><p>“Of course I do,” Uchiha replied, “Who said he cannot be avenged when taking their offer? It is easier to harm them more deeply in the long run if we work with them then giving a swift execution. After all, we do not know their trade channels, who they are partnered with, where his home city is, where his sons and daughters are…” his voice deepened as he talked, and cruelty shone in his eyes. “Why not help the economy grow while we find out these things?”</p><p>Kurenai’s eyes widened with realization, and her eyes began to match his. “You offer a convincing argument, Uchiha-san. Perhaps I should reconsider from a financial standpoint after all.”</p><p>“I also believe that Uchiha-san is correct. The boy has suffered many hardships and should be avenged, but it is also a good chance to gain a financial and economic advantage. It may be worth the political risk it carries and expand our information network outside the country’s borders. Our leads in Japan have not been very fruitful in recent years. If the answers lie outside our borders, this may be our chance to expand quickly.” Nara looked to Namikaze. “As for the political risks, we can try to convince Tokugawa and gain permission to do so and hide our cooperation until then. If those three ports can get permission, so can we.”</p><p>Namikaze breathed in slowly, thinking over Nara’s words. “I hold onto my reservations, but if the shogunate’s approval can be gained, then I have no objections, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>His advisors had spoken. The decision was up to Neji. He wanted to say no anyway. He did not like foreigners and did not want to work with them, but the atmosphere around his advisors had not changed. They were defensive and waiting for his decision. He clenched his jaw.</p><p>“It is an opportunity that could profit us well, that is true,” Neji said. “I also wish to avenge my mate for his suffering. Unfortunately, I may be too compromised to properly see the situation dealing with his abusers. I will leave the specifics to Kurenai-san and Uchiha-san.” He exhaled, feeling his headache come back full force. “You are all dismissed.”</p><p>“Thank you, Hyuuga-sama.” They bowed to him, rising from their seats.</p><p>“Nara-san, stay behind if you will.”</p><p>Nara remained seated as the others quietly left. Neji waited for the door to close behind them. Once it did, he glared at Nara. “Who do you think you are?” Neji reprimanded. “Do you believe yourself a high enough station to humiliate me the way you did today?”</p><p>“I do not recall humiliating you, my lord,” Nara replied calmly. “All I did today was reestablish your thoughts among your advisors. Nothing more.”</p><p>“Silence!” Neji roared. Nara instantly shut his mouth but did not cower even when Neji’s power leaked out for a moment in a threatening manner. “You will speak when I give you permission to.</p><p>“I do not know how you timed your treachery with that boy, but you used him in order to gain sympathy for him so that I was forced to accept the foreigner’s offer. Why?”</p><p>“Treachery, my lord?” Nara asked with a raised eyebrow. “Have you even asked about the boy’s state or actions since you last saw him? At this point, I know more about your mate then you do.” Nara fanned himself. “It was not hard to figure out that the boy would collapse sooner or later. But I do not deny that I did want you to take the foreigner’s offer. In the end, our words are just words. If you feel like it, you can ignore them and choose what you feel like choosing. As you hate foreigner’s, no amount of arguments was going to change your mind unless I forced your hand.”</p><p>“You are presumptuous, Nara, and you did not answer my question.”</p><p>Nara closed his fan. “Do you know how large the world is, Hyuuga-sama? Do you know that Japan is just a small island compared to the vast lands of the west? Do you know how much more there is past China’s borders? That there are entire lands made of sand. Fields covered in only snow. People with skin as dark as ink or as bright as snow? Did you know that our government policies, religion, and medical practices was taken from the Chinese foreigners you hate so much? Even our rice was brought from the foreigners.”</p><p>“What is your point Nara?” Neji was grinding his teeth and growing impatient.</p><p>“My point, Hyuuga-sama, is that our borders are now closed. The people who you hate, who our country hates, are the people who made us what we are, who built up our nation and helped us advance. It is their knowledge we have taken and used. Now, it is scarce and limited. What will happen in a hundred years? Two hundred years? When we close out that information and decide not to grow? What happens when they continue to trade with one another and grow while we are stuck in this time? You have lived for over 300 years. Does technology not change? Did weapons not get stronger? Medicine not more efficient? Will Japan survive a long period of isolation?”</p><p>Neji’s lips thinned. “The last time I checked, Nara, you are my advisor. You should be advising for my interest. Not Japan’s. If you wish to have such lofty goals, then work for the shogunate, do not bring it here.”</p><p>Neji stood and looked down at Nara. “Because of your service and that you have saved my life more than once, I will spare you. If you ever go behind my back, humiliate me, or manipulate the people around me without my permission again, I will execute you without question. Is that clear?”</p><p>Disappointment creeped into Nara’s eyes rather than relief or even arrogance for being able to get away with what he did. He bowed to Neji and simply said, “Thank you for your kindness, my lord.”</p><p>Neji left the room, slamming the door shut behind him. This was all that boy’s fault. A mate was nothing but an unwanted weakness others would want to exploit like Nara did tonight.</p><p>For the rest of the evening, Neji holed himself up in his study, refusing to see anyone. He worked in the silence, accompanied only by the occasional sounds of shifting parchment. The routine put his mind at ease and his tension headache eased. He worked well into the night, trying to forget his problems.</p><p>Without the interruptions, he did manage to finish his work on time. He placed his brush down and glanced out the window, noting it would be sunrise soon. Breathing out heavily he stood, noting the tension in his muscles. Maybe tomorrow he would take a long bath if he had the time.</p><p>He left his office, seeing Haru and Natsu waiting for him outside, kneeling by the door. At least there were some people who would follow his orders quietly without complaint. As he passed, they both rose to follow him.</p><p>Unfortunately, his walk back to his room did lead passed the boy’s room as well and as timing would have it, he saw another tray of uneaten food leave the room. Was the boy trying to starve himself to death? Is that the thanks he received after freeing him from his captor and offering nice accommodations, food, and clothing. Or was he that sick? Unlike the food from before which consisted of a full meal. The meal this time was rice porridge.</p><p>He clenched his jaw as he thought, not realizing he had stopped walking. If the boy died, his advisors would no doubt blame him. Killing one’s mate was a huge crime, and he could not guarantee his advisors won’t leave or turn on him.</p><p>“How is he?” he asked the boy servant carrying the food.</p><p>“Responding to master,” the boy said stiffly, “the doctor said due to stress and malnutrition, he has caught a cold. He has prescribed bed rest and medication for the young master; however, the young master refuses to eat or rest.”</p><p>Perhaps the boy was trying to kill himself. Wouldn’t that be best for both of them, he thought darkly. Unfortunately, he needed the boy alive or at the least have the appearance Neji tried to care for him. “Make the food again and leave some egg and fish on the side. Bring the medicine as well. Bring it to me when you are done.”</p><p>Neji returned to his room, changing into his yukata for the night and letting down his hair. Natsu quickly combed his hair and tied the end together with a tie. Just as Natsu finished, a servant came to his room with a new tray of food.</p><p>Neji took a moment to gather the motivation to follow through, taking several deep breaths to remind himself why he was bothering to do this in the first place. Finally, he ordered the boy servant to follow him to the guest room.</p><p>He only took the tray from the boy when he had arrived in front of the room once more. The boy opened the door for him, and Neji entered. His eyes immediately drew to the boy inside.</p><p>Sharp green eyes stared at him from across the room. Neji had expected a weak and sickly boy curled up under the sheets or perhaps cowering in the corner like a cornered animal. Instead, the boy was sitting up, head tilted back and resting on the wall. If it weren’t for the gaze, Neji would think he was sleeping.</p><p>Seeing Neji, the boy sat up straighter, following Neji’s every move as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. The boy was alert, but he wasn’t scared. More like cautious.</p><p>The color of those eyes was quite beautiful and unique. Now that the boy was cleaned, his appearance was not half bad. He had a barbaric look and was not considered handsome by any means, but he was interesting to look at. Neji didn’t hate it.</p><p>Neji approached the boy, stopping a little less than three steps away, placing the tray down. He sat down himself, picking up the spoon and stirring the porridge. “Do you intend to starve yourself?” Neji asked, taking one of the eggs and cracking it open into the porridge.</p><p>He stirred it in, watching the boy in his peripheral. Did the boy even speak his language? He probably didn’t know where he was. Neji brought the spoon to his lips, blowing on it twice before eating it. It was bland, but it was good for the boy’s health.</p><p>The boy looked at the food, and his stomach growled loudly. Neji ate another spoonful. Assuming that the boy wasn’t seeking death, the only other possible conclusion Neji could deduce was that the boy thought the food was tampered with. A nonsensical notion. There was no reason to poison him after the servants went through so much care to service the boy, but he supposed the boy wouldn’t know his intentions.</p><p>Scoping up more porridge, he extended the spoon to the boy.</p><p>The boy’s stomach grumbled again, and his eyes latched onto the porridge dripping down the sides of the spoon and onto the tray.</p><p>When the boy didn’t immediately go for it, Neji brought it to his lips. The boy followed, leaning forward earnestly then stopping himself abruptly. Upon realizing his actions, he leaned back once more and looked away.</p><p>So he did want to eat, Neji thought, extending the spoon once more, watching the conflict play out on the boy’s face. Pride versus hunger. It was a battle Neji could feel some sympathy for. In his early years, hunger won out until he built up useless pride that had almost killed him more than once. Until the incident where his pride was stripped from him and survival meant everything once more. Afterall, pride meant nothing when you were dead.</p><p>The boy’s stomach made an unpleasant noise. With a short huff, the boy scooted closer to the tray, reaching for the bowl. The weakness of his body manifested in the way his hand trembled. His wrists were wrapped with bandages. The skin near his mouth was also red and irritated from where he was gagged. The white yukata the boy wore had small splotches of blood. It wasn’t too noticeable. It had rubbed onto the fabric from old wounds that had cracked open from dry skin that had been pulled from normal movements.</p><p>The boy brought the bowl to his lips, drinking down the porridge noisily, ignoring the spoon Neji still held. Neji cleaned of the spoon and placed it on the tray, watching him wolf down the food. Neji hadn’t even had the opportunity to add some fish to the porridge. It would sit heavy on the stomach, not ideal for a sick patient, but the added flavor and smell would help entice the boy to eat if he refused to eat the porridge.</p><p>The boy put the bowl down, staring at Neji still very guarded. Neji stared back. Neji had been told his gaze was unsettling to most. That they lacked humanity in them, but the boy did not back down as they entered a staring contest. Without breaking eye contact, Neji held up the bowl of medicine, offering to the boy.</p><p>The boy’s eyes flickered to the bowl than back to Neji, making no move for the bowl and instead pulling the plate of fish into his lap, picking at the flesh with his fingers.</p><p>Neji waited for him to finish, which wasn’t long. Like the porridge, the boy devoured the fish quickly. He didn’t even touch the chopsticks that were provided. His table manners were quite poor, but that could be explained away by a starving boy seeing food for the first time in who knew how long. He offered the bowl again, and the boy clearly rejected it.</p><p>Was it because it wasn’t food, and he knew it? The smell was unpleasant and smelled heavily of medicinal herbs. No matter how you looked at it, it came across as a drug, something that the boy was obviously trying to avoid. Well, it wasn’t his business. If he passed out, Neji could just have someone force feed it to him then.</p><p>Once the boy finished eating, Neji collected the dish and stood up with the tray. The boy immediately put distance between them again, sitting against the wall. Was this boy really sick? He didn’t appear so. Well, in case the boy changed his mind, Neji left the bowl of medicine on the small desk in the corner near the candle that lit the room. Neji wouldn’t force him. His advisors should be satisfied with this. He could leave.</p><p>“If you need anything, call for a servant,” Neji said, trying to see if there was any sign that the boy could understand him. When there wasn’t any, Neji left, thinking how inconvenient it was that not only was his mate a man, but someone he couldn’t even talk to. How unlucky.</p><p>Neji went back to his room, falling back onto his futon with a heavy sigh. Today had not been a good day. He had just met the boy and people were already using him against him. As word spread, his reputation was going to sink. There was also the potential safety hazard the boy presented, the etiquette and language lessons, the possible challenge to his authority.</p><p>Did the boy even know about his kind? It was not an easy thing to accept for a civilized man, let alone a barbarian. He ran his fingers through his bangs. Nothing said he had to tell the boy. If possible, he’d like to interact with him as little as possible. As long as he was present and had the appearance of being taken care of, it should be fine. He could confine him inside the manor, treat him as a princess and only let him out with Neji’s permission. At least this way, damage could be minimized.</p><p>Fatigue pulled at his eyes.</p><p>Neji wasn’t a fool. Not this time. Very few vampires find their mates. Many miss them by the simple fact that human lives were short and at least one of the pair had to be a vampire to even show signs. It was so easy to miss each other in life. That was why Neji was skeptical. Just because his eyes changed their color, he was supposed to believe that boy would somehow complete him. If so, then he would never give it a chance. He would never love a man. He would never even try. He would do what he needed to do to keep his advisors happy until they forgot about him then have the servants do the rest. Until then, he would just bear with it.</p><p>All he could do until then was hope it would happen sooner rather than later.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I don't know if this is working as a fanfiction. I do ask that you leave a comment to tell me if it is or not.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Diary Entry 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>My name is Gaara, son of Rasa. I am writing to keep a detailed account of what has happened to me, in case something happens to me before I am found. My untimely capture has undoubtedly worried my only brother, Kankuro. I pray that my disappearance has not caused him too much grief, and that should I not return, he is able to move on quickly and not waste his time avenging me. I fear it would take him too far from home to do so.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Upon traveling to India, my caravan was attacked by foreigners. From what I can tell, they were Mongolian in nature. I cannot say why they attacked us. We were not traders. They killed most of my guards that accompanied me. I still do not know why they decided to keep me alive, but they sold me to what I believe to be Chinese merchants. From what I had previously understood, these two groups were not friendly with one another which makes their trade all the more strange.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After that, it is hard to say what happened. They gagged and blinded me from there on and stuffed me into a box. For weeks we traveled, and at some point, I was on a boat. The specifics are blurry. They kept me drugged and docile for most of the journey. When they pulled me out again, I arrived in a strange place and surrounded by languages I could not understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I am right, I have been sold to someone. I think to a noble of some sort. I have only seen the room they have kept me in, bare with little decoration. At first, I thought I was to be a servant because of the room, but I no longer think that is the case.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After being sold, servants came, washed, and dressed me and my wounds. They put me in a robe and provided me food. They then bowed to me as if they knew I was royalty, going onto their hands and knees and putting their heads to the floor before leaving me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Between the simple robe and food and what I think is a bed only in the room, I am either a prisoner or I have been sold as a sex toy to an infidel. If I was a prisoner, I do not think they would wash and dress me, so I can only assume the latter. It is for that reason I had not touched the food originally. I did not wish to be drugged and taken advantage of.  I also did not sleep, waiting to see what would happen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Strangely, I was not bothered all day, but the servants came back at dusk, providing food and new clothes.  Again, they showed me the strange respect of bowing to me. I wouldn’t let them touch me, and they did not press, backing away one I showed my displeasure and simply left the room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I lost consciousness once, and when I woke, fresh food had been supplied and my bandages had been changed. Admittedly, I do not feel well. I think I have a fever, and hunger has settled deep within me. Still, I did not touch the food. I refuse to sell my body, even for food. I am a prince of a nation. Not a prostitute.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The servants took the uneaten food away again, and I noticed that the servants were on a strange schedule. They were more active at night then they were during the day. They attended to me three times during the night and only once during the day. It was strange. I cannot figure out why that is.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have not seen much outside this room. I plan to try to sneak out if I can in a couple of days, once they think I am obedient. Sooner if my suspicions are correct and the infidel tries to touch me, but it is night two, and I have not seen the owner of this place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Before the night ended, I saw a servant who was different from the rest. At first, I thought he was a woman. His face was smooth without a trace of facial hair with gentle features and hair that reached down to his lower back. I would still be unsure if it were not for the fact that his simple white robe was slightly open, and his chest revealed it was as flat as mine. I had never seen a man have such beautiful features. I am still not convinced he was a man. When he walked, his steps were silent. When he moved, he showed exceptional grace that none of my father or brother’s wives have ever shown. He looked like a porcelain doll.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This servant did not leave like the others either. He sat with the food he brought me and began to eat several spoonfuls then offered some to me. I think he was trying to show me the food was safe to eat. Honestly, I was at my limit. If I was going to escape, I needed food, and he proved that it was at least not lethal. I ate the food he presented, but not the bowl that was obviously a mix of herbs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The entire time he watched me. It was unsettling. His eyes were that of molten silver and moved in the low light. My eyes were drawn to them, hard to look away. I didn’t want to. When I did, I could feel his gaze on me, heating my skin on where his gaze fell.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> My fever must have been getting to me. Sometimes I am unbearably cold, other times hot. I can only hope that sickness has not set into my blood else I will surely die here in this barbarian country.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The servant left the herb-filled bowl in the room before he left. Unlike the others, this servant does not appear to like me. His eyes were intense and focused, assessing me as much as I was assessing him, but something about him, perhaps the way he watched me, seemed impatient like he rather be elsewhere.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He spoke to me, a deep, smooth timbre that was very pleasing to the ears, and he left quickly without trying to appear he was in a hurry. Out of all of the servants who have come here, he seemed the most honest. If I were to be served, I’d rather it be by him. Someone I can read is better than the others who I can’t understand at all. He may help me escape if I become unable to do it myself. Maybe he can help keep the owner of this place at bay until I can escape.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am unsure of my chances here. The more I think about it, the more difficult I think it will be to escape. They all look Chinese and none of them have spoken in a language that I understand. I can only assume that I am in China. In which case, I will stick out by just existing making my escape even harder let alone finding someone who can understand me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My brother, should you find me, I hope it be soon.  I do not have an affinity for home, but I do miss you. I pray that our fight is not the last thing I will say to you, and should this diary find you instead of me, I wish you to know that I love you brother, and I apologize for the trouble I caused. I ask that you take care of my wife in my stead. If you do not wish to marry her, then I ask you to help her find a husband. I have not touched her so she remains pure. She is a good girl and deserves a good husband. I cannot think of anyone better than you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>May God protect you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gaara</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was unsure if I should put these diary entries in. Gaara in this story is from the Middle East (country will not be named so no one will be offended by my lack of knowledge of the culture) and therefore can't speak Japanese and this offers a way to let people know his thoughts. So I thought every once in a while, I could do this. Please let me know if you like me to continue this</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Opening Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So before I hear it, these people will be politically incorrect due to the time period. There was slavery (different than American slavery as the slaves were criminals and usually had a set time period and did not pass to their children, racist (Neji referring to Gaara as a barbarian just because of his different looks alone and different customs), set gender roles, and other things I probably missed. I really don't want to hear it when it was part of the time period and was considered normal at the time. If it was set in modern times, then I would accept your anger and hatred, but this is the mid 17th century. Slavery as a form of criminal punishment ended the late 16th century in Japan.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Second day of not being able to sleep. Despite being exhausted the night before and going to bed slightly early, all he did was lay awake, zoning in on every little sound outside his room.</p><p>Neji sat up, letting the covers pool at his waist. Vampires may not need as much sleep as humans, but he needed something, his headache was getting worse. He remained seated for some time until the twins came in to dress him and offer him a small meal. Thankfully, he had no plans to leave the manor today so he could dress in a simple yukata and have his hair combed and leave it at that.</p><p>The sun was still up, though it was sinking behind the mountains when Neji left to go to his study. He gave a brief glance at the boy’s door as he passed, wondering if he drank the medication before moving his mind to today’s work.</p><p>The first thing he saw on his desk was the account book for the Heavenly Palace. He inhaled slowly, closing his eyes and swallowed his frustration as he realized that the Heavenly Palace was opening tonight. He had originally planned to go in as a customer to ensure that everything went well. Now, he didn’t feel like going. The last thing he wanted was to deal with a bunch of people and women that clung onto him, trying to get him to buy them for the night or win his favor, but he really did want this endeavor to be successful.</p><p>Exhaling, he sat down, opening the account book, going over the expenses and employee list in detail. Normally, things like this would first go through Kurenai, but as this was his idea, he wanted to become familiar with it before handing it over to Kurenai to manage. As he flipped through the account pages and double-checked the numbers, he heard Kakashi enter his room. Unlike when he was with the advisors, he was dressed in his shadow guard garb, all black and wearing a mask over his face.</p><p>“Is there a problem?” Neji asked, continuing his calculations.</p><p>“Just came to give my report,” Kakashi replied, kneeling. “Pardon my intrusion for doing so.”</p><p>Neji didn’t respond, waiting for him to speak.</p><p>“The investigation on Nara-san has resulted in nothing so far. As far as we can tell, he has not met with the foreigners as we thought he would. The only places he has visited since leaving the mansion that day are related to his normal duties and accompanying his wife while shopping. All interactions have been brief, and no notes were exchanged as far as we know.”</p><p>“I see,” Neji said, dipping his brush into the ink. “Stay vigilant. He is crafty and probably knows he is being followed. We cannot expect results in one day.”</p><p>“Of course, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>“Anything else?”</p><p>“Hyuuga-sama’s… guest peered out of the room this morning. He only went to the edge of the engawa and dumped the medication Hyuuga-sama brought him before going back inside.”</p><p>“Hn.” Neji acknowledged what he had said but gave it little thought. It wasn’t like he could force feed it to the boy.</p><p>“He’s also taken to using the bathroom in the courtyard when he thinks no one’s around….”</p><p>That was more of a problem, Neji thought, placing his brush down. “Any other trouble he’s caused?”</p><p>“He hasn’t eaten anything besides what you have brought him. A servant tried to do the same thing you did, but he would not eat.”</p><p>Neji almost didn’t hold in his sigh, rubbing his temple to ease the tension this boy was now causing. “Is that all?”</p><p>“He’s not sleeping either.”</p><p>Was this boy trying to kill himself? Neji clenched his jaw. “Prepare more medication. I will see to it, myself.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord.” Kakashi left, just as his head butler came to tell him similar news about his mate. Sugo was hesitant to tell him, fearful Neji would blame him for the boy’s lack of cooperation.  Perhaps Neji would have if he cared.</p><p>The lack of communication was a problem though. “Find the best tutor to teach him the language as quickly as possible.”</p><p>Sugo left to follow through with his order. At the very least, he needed to be able to tell the boy what he could and could not do. This time he could not withhold his sigh and he brought both hands to his head to massage the massive migraine he was getting. He needed to find a personal servant for the boy quickly. He could not be wasting time babysitting this child. Perhaps going to the Heavenly Palace was a good idea after all.</p><p>In the end, he decided leaving the manor and putting the boy on the back burner was the better choice. He called for a guard to accompany him, only waiting a couple minutes for the guard to change into inconspicuous clothing.</p><p>Neji never thought he would be eager to leave the manor. Most of the time, unless there was a lead he wished to pursue, he lacked the motivation to leave. He had traveled for decades, seen most of Japan, and fought in more battles than he could count. He had seen everything, experienced everything, what more was there to experience?</p><p>The same waitress greeted him at the entrance. This time, customers were seated both inside and outside the tea house, all human commoners and a few wealthy merchants. Humans were always attracted to something new. Within a week, the number of customers would thin when they realize there was nothing special compared to the more active nightlife establishments. Whether the teahouse front did well or not did not really interest him. It was the Heavenly Palace underneath that he wanted to succeed.</p><p>Following the narrow staircase down, he could already hear the masterful music playing and the idle chatter of patrons and women, and smell the scent of women’s perfume and luxurious food. A few women greeted him at the bottom as before, but only a few, the ones that had yet to be selected by a patron.</p><p>“Good evening, Owner-sama,” they chimed. “Mama-san is currently entertaining a customer. Can one of us assist you?”</p><p>The madame was entertaining someone personally? It must have either been a difficult to handle patron or someone of great importance or interest. That could potentially be promising. “I want a balcony room and two bottles of your finest wine.”</p><p>The women bowed. Two stepped forward and directed him to a private room, the one next to where he had stayed previously. They did eye the weapon his guard had on him but said nothing despite the no weapons policy in the establishment. Who would dare tell the owner what his friend could and could not do?</p><p>Neji sent one of the women away and left one to serve him wine, paying her little mind as he stared down the balcony to the stage and the audience down below.</p><p>The establishment wasn’t full, but that was to be expected. It would take time for an underground establishment meant for non-humans to reach the appropriate ears. Even taking that into consideration, there were still quite a few patrons. Just over half full it seemed. He could find others like him quite easily with the blood within the cups they held.</p><p>A few demons were scattered among the crowd as well. A fox demon in particular had quite a few women around him in a balcony room across from his. His fox ears were showing amongst a mess of orange hair.  Since his hair had yet to turn gold or silver, he wasn’t a nine tails, but even across the hall with his power suppressed, Neji could feel his power. He may not have had nine tails, but he did have many. Seven, maybe eight, and close to gaining another tail. Such a high-ranking demon could be beneficial to him.</p><p>Ino-san must have thought so too. She was the one the fox demon had his arm around and paid the most attention to. Even with his attention, she held herself with a dignity and maturity the younger girls lacked. Even with her age being a disadvantage, she could still outshine the younger generation.</p><p>He sipped at his cup, watching the activity. The opening was going well. Even if he could not gather the information he desired, this was money well spent if he could gain some allies or sources in the process.</p><p>“The security is lacking,” the guard muttered, drawing Neji’s attention away for a moment. If Neji recalled, this guard was named Uchiha Sasuke, his economic advisor’s precious younger brother, and his top agent’s young cousin. Despite having the young guard on his payroll, he had interacted with him directly only a handful of times over the past half a century.</p><p>It was rare to walk side by side with his guards, usually preferring them to watch from the shadows, but coming alone to this kind of place to not partake in its activities would be even more suspicious. At least in this way, he could work under the cover of entertaining a guest or having a meeting with someone.</p><p>“There are three S-class demons and two high ranking vampires. Should any of them decide to cause trouble, you will definitely die.”</p><p>The rude comment caught Neji by surprise. “Are you cursing me?”</p><p>“Should I lie and say that I can defeat them?” he asked deadpanned, drinking some tea. Compared to his elder brother and cousin, he was quite rude, but the straightforward nature could be tolerated depending on what was being said.</p><p>“This place is meant to capture information. If they cause trouble here and there, it will be no concern of ours. I do not plan to be here often, and furniture and personnel can be replaced.”</p><p>“Oh, how kind of a lord you are,” he said sarcastically.</p><p>Neji felt his eyebrow tick. How was it the elder Uchihas were so polite and well-spoken yet the youngest dare speak to him like this? “Of course, I am gracious. If not, I wouldn’t have hired you at the bequest of your relatives.”</p><p>The comment did seem to irritate the bodyguard, but he still responded casually, “My brother and cousin would never have recommended me if they did not believe I would excel at my post.”</p><p>That was true. Uchiha Itachi and Shisui would never let familial connection cloud their judgement when making a decision, and Sasuke was one of his best guards’ power wise.</p><p>Neji looked him over, eyes lingering more than necessary in his assessment. Unlike his brother and cousin, his hair had been cut short, making him stand out in that regard. However, no one could deny that he wasn’t related to his relatives. While he lacked the delicate doll appearance of his brother and the cunning look of his cousin, he was still handsome, carrying the dark-colored hair and eyes with flawless white skin. Each Uchiha, no matter their specialty, stood out in both appearance, strength, and sense of dignity that nobles carried no matter the situation. Unfortunately, Sasuke also appeared to carry an arrogance the majority of nobles possessed while his relatives did not.</p><p>“Is there something you need from me, my lord? Because if you wish to bring me to your bed, I’m afraid I have my eye on someone else.”</p><p>Neji averted his eyes back to the activity. Perhaps it would have been better to go alone after all. “With such loose lips, perhaps a whipping is in order. Though if you keep insisting on provoking me, an execution is something to consider as well to still your tongue.”</p><p>That kept the guard’s words in check as the guard said no more. Had he become too lenient of a master? Often he could not be bothered with trivial words. As long as they were not treacherous and rebellious, why should he care if the occasional servant quietly expressed dissatisfaction or their honest opinion? But there was a difference between that and allowing them to believe they were on the same level as them. There was a hierarchy they still needed to abide by and yet, a few were brave enough to speak to him as an equal, even being disingenuous with their words without bothering to hide the truth within them. When was the last time he punished a servant for their disobedience?</p><p>He had flogged a slave to death shortly before slavery was no longer an acceptable form of criminal punishment. He had saved the slave from her master, buying her contract, and agreeing to let her serve her sentence as long as she was loyal to him. She had misunderstood his intention, mistaking his kindness for love. When he rebuked her affections, in spite, she sold him and his men out to the enemy, causing massive casualties. She died on the 125th lashing. That was nearly 100 years ago.</p><p>Then there was the shadow guard who had left his post to elope with a woman he had met during a mission. Abandoning his master and duty, he had disappeared without notice. Neji ordered his capture and for him to perform seppuku for his betrayal. Neji had not understood why the guard tried to run away and elope. If the boy had asked, he would have allowed the marriage so long as the woman the boy had loved had no plans to harm him or interfere with his goals.</p><p>Perhaps the boy had grown afraid of death. He was in training and had not taken the final step to becoming one of his kind. Maybe he had been afraid to die. Or perhaps it was because he wished for more than just a wife, but children as well. Once he became a vampire, children would have been impossible.</p><p>Those who came to join the shadow guard were either young human boys, abandoned in war and famine that Neji had picked up or masterless young vampires still lost in the early stages of bloodlust. Both were easy to program and instill a sense of duty until death. The young humans were young enough to forget their family’s faces after a few years and the materless vampires became bound to him. They would know only their master, and that was their priority. Most never dreamed or wanted for anything else. The few who managed to develop other wants were still not allowed to leave, merely moved to another position if they possessed the proper skills. After all, they knew too many of his secrets to be kept alive outside of his grasp.</p><p>Unlike other masters who had similar assassination groups, Neji did allow them to marry if they wished, but few ever did. Whether it was because they lacked the desire to or because they believed the wives they found would suffer as they were unable to have children with them and may die at any time in the line of duty, leaving their wives alone without money, property, or even family to support them. In the 250 years since Neji developed his shadow guards, only 6 ever asked him and only 2 of those unions were still going.</p><p>A month after the traitor guard had committed the ritual, the woman he had planned to elope with came forward, three months pregnant. She was a foreigner, a Korean woman who had been the daughter of a trader who had been conducting business prior to the country’s closing. He was killed, and she was sold to a brothel. The young man had saved her from that life and had been secretly supporting her under Neji’s nose. After the boy’s capture and subsequent death, she had managed to track Neji’s location on her own and reveal herself after the boy had not spoken a word about her even after being questioned as to why he had abandoned his master.</p><p>In hindsight, other guards had to have known what the boy was doing. He believed in their capabilities and could not believe that none of them had known the truth. Someone had to have helped him keep the secret. Neji’s dislike of foreigners was well known after all. Keeping her hidden may have seemed like the logical thing to do at the time.</p><p>She only asked for the boy’s possessions, knowing he had little to his name as an assassin. She begged for something of his. Anything so that she could mourn him properly. Admiring her bravery to step out of hiding and speak to Neji directly after everything, Neji took pity on her. He provided her a place to stay, a doctor for her delivery, and allowed her to live comfortably. She bore twins, who were later named Haru and Natsu. That was nearly 60 years ago.</p><p>There hadn’t been an incident since. There were some punishments for failure. A few beatings that were short and more for show than anything. Most in his employ were vampires. A flogging or two wouldn’t leave a scar let alone kill them. If he really wanted to harm them, it would have to devolve into humiliation or torture. He would resort to killing if need be. He had sentenced many to their deaths, but rarely had they been public like those two who had served as examples.</p><p>Someone prideful like Uchiha Sasuke would not benefit from humiliation, only instill hatred into his heart and an aim to get revenge, leaving only torture as an option. Torture seemed extreme for such a mild offense. Perhaps his problem wasn’t that he had gone soft but lacked options to take.</p><p>He looked up again, noting that the fox demon across the way was looking back at him. His gold eyes bore into Neji’s making him uncomfortable. Neji may have been old, but that fox was twice if not close to three times his age. The fox knew Neji had been watching him.</p><p>“My master does not fancy being watched,” a young feminine voice sounded at Neji’s side.</p><p>Neji’s eyes darted to the side but moved his body to follow at a slower pace to maintain the appearance of being casual. “My apologies. My curiosity has made me temporarily forget my manners.”</p><p>Sasuke was sitting up, hand on the sword at his waist but did not move, neither did Neji upon noticing the woman who had appeared in their room. She was a beautiful young woman, wearing miko clothing with soft gentle features that would draw almost any man in. She sat in seiza position, hands neatly in her lap, and head tilted down. Her clothes were outdated, maybe 300 years too old, though it matched the outdated wear of who she called master who was still wearing Heian period noble attire.</p><p>If one looked closer, they would also notice that the woman lacked a shadow, the reason why Sasuke had not attacked and neither did Neji. It was pointless to attack an illusion, even a well-made one.</p><p>The woman bowed, delicately and gracefully moving her hands from her lap to the floor in front of her, bowing her head to them. “My master would like to thank Owner-sama for developing such a tasteful establishment. He has traveled a long way from home and had grown weary. He has been replenished having come here and wishes to thank you in person tomorrow evening.”</p><p> “May I inquire your master’s name?” Neji asked. If he could, he wished to decline and make the demon wait, giving Neji the upper hand in their dealings should they come.</p><p>“My master calls himself the guardian and protector of Kyoto. He has given you permission to call him Kurama-sama.”</p><p>A strong fox demon from Kyoto? Neji’s jaw tightened, realizing he indeed had attracted an important guest to his establishment. Had he been mistaken? Kyoto was said to have a strong nine-tailed demon revered as a god living within its borders and had influence over the imperial family. If this fox demon was indeed one of the same, Neji had no room to negotiate. He could not afford to offend him at all.</p><p>“I would be honored to accept the invitation,” Neji bowed, showing his respect. “Did he have a time and place in mind?”</p><p>“The first division of the hour of the dog at the teahouse across from the bookstore.”</p><p>Neji had to hide his distaste for the early time. There was only one bookstore in the town, and he would have to be up before sunset to make the time. “Very well. Inform your master that I will be there.”</p><p>The woman disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving only a leaf behind. He just hoped this meeting was legitimate and not a prank of a bored god. Fox demons were always tricky to deal with. When they were loyal, they would never betray, but before that, they were mischievous and favored pranks. While Neji would deal with the pranks if need be, he still did not wish to deal with them.</p><p>For the next two hours, Neji kept watch over the opening, ensuring there were no incidents. There was one, a low-level demon getting too drunk and causing a scene, but the women dealt with him easily, without disrupting the atmosphere too much and annoying other guests. Ino-san had trained them. He could at the very least have confidence that the establishment could handle normal affairs without his intervention or hiring skilled guards to protect his assets.</p><p>When Neji returned home, he went straight to his office, finishing up the documents relating to the Heavenly Pleasure House and reading over reports from his shadow guards. He wrote a few letters and sent them out. Before he knew it, the night was near its end.</p><p>He stretched, hearing the cracks in his spine as the vertebrae realigned. He should go to bed early if he was going to attend that meeting tomorrow.</p><p>“Hyuuga-sama,” Sugo called out from the hall. His silhouette could be seen against the paper screen. “I have found some candidates for the boy’s tutoring. Would you like to choose from the list of candidates?”</p><p>Every time when he was considering going to bed, he was reminded of the boy’s existence and prevented him from getting the sleep he desired. He knew he had to fake caring, but could he not put it off for a day so that he could sleep?</p><p>“Has he eaten today?”</p><p>“No, my lord.”</p><p>Breathing out heavily, he stood. “Have you prepared food?”</p><p>“Yes, my lord.”</p><p>At least he didn’t have to wait for it this time. He could get this done quickly and head to bed once the boy finished eating. He exited the office with Sugo getting up to follow him. The human boy from before carrying the tray, shaking the dishes with every step. How annoying.</p><p>“Straighten your back, lighten your steps, and hold your hands steady boy,” Sugo hissed at him. “You are to be seen, not heard.”</p><p>“Y-yes, Sugo-san,” the boy said quietly, trying to do as he said. Just because he was formally a spoiled first son of a noble who had never worked a day in his life previously didn’t mean they weren’t going to keep him to the standard of the other servants even if it was physically impossible to learn all the skills required of him in only two days.</p><p>When the shaking didn’t stop, Sugo stopped and bowed deeply. “I apologize on his behalf, my lord. He is still lacking. I take full responsibility.”</p><p>Neji stopped in front of the room, taking the tray from the boy. “Servants here are of the highest quality,” Neji said, looking down at the boy with a frigid stare. “Even if you are not one of us, we will treat you as one of us. Those who cannot keep up have no use. If you have no use, you will be killed. Either quickly adapt or put yourself out of your misery now and save us the trouble.”</p><p>The boy trembled under Neji’s pressure, and Sugo moved to open the door for his master. Whether the boy adapted or not was not his problem. He was just here to keep his father in line. If need be, Neji would replace the acting city leader if the boy didn’t fulfill his purpose.</p><p>When he entered, he found the boy sitting in the corner, barely moved from where he saw him last time. Seeing Neji enter, he sat up a little straighter. It was more of a reaction than last time as his eyes immediately glued onto the food.</p><p>“If you want to eat, why do you keep waiting to inconvenience me to do it,” he said, looking down at the boy, knowing he couldn’t understand anything he said.  The boy only looked up at him with those green eyes.</p><p>Thinning his lips, he set the tray down, waiting for the boy to attack the food. The boy didn’t go for it immediately. He sat still, watching Neji expectantly.</p><p>Realizing what the boy wanted, Neji sat down, showing his irritation on his face. “Have I become your poison tester now?” He asked as he grabbed the spoon. It was once again porridge. Something easy on the stomach. He put in the egg as well, mixing It into the porridge. He slid the bowl over to him. “Eat.”</p><p>The boy didn’t touch it. Staring at him expectantly. It was strange. The boy was looking at him the same way Neji looked at his servants. An air of superiority that expected things to be done a certain way with no doubt his servants would follow through. Even in this position, he still thought himself to have power over Neji.</p><p>The thought was amusing enough to crack a small smile on Neji’s lips. “I suppose it is good that you will not easily cower,” he said, stirring the contents before eating a spoonful of porridge.</p><p>With a single bite of food on Neji’s part, the boy grabbed the bowl, gulping down the contents once more. His manners hadn’t improved in the slightest, Neji thought, watching him eat. Barbarians were something else.</p><p>Neji cleaned the spoon as the boy ate, glancing around the room. There was little in the room. Nothing interesting to look at or anything to do. In such a room, wasn’t the boy bored?</p><p>Well, it wasn’t like they could give him a weapon to use or books to read. Perhaps Neji could provide him with paper and ink. Maybe the boy had artistic talents. At the least, they may find out what language he spoke, though Neji supposed there was the possibility that the boy was dumb. The boy hadn’t had his tongue cut out, and he hadn’t attempted to make any sounds since being here. He hadn’t even attempted to communicate with them.</p><p>Well, it was none of his business. Still, he couldn’t keep the room looking so bare. He couldn’t be accused of not taking care of his mate. Giving the appearance that he was treating his “princess” well was the minimum amount of effort he had to give.  </p><p>The boy put the bowl down, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Again, Neji pushed the medicine bowl on the tray forward for him to drink. Again, the boy refused, looking away as if he didn’t see it. He had no sense of shame at all. How exactly was this boy sick?</p><p>Neji collected the tray, standing and preparing to leave, thinking of how picky the boy was to only eat in front of him. As he stood, he noticed the dirt and sand on the boy’s feet. He left the room in thought.</p><p>Sugo immediately took the tray from him as Neji looked out into the distance, thinking. “Send someone to decorate the room and provide the boy with paper and ink.”</p><p>“Would you not like to select the items yourself, my lord?”</p><p>A single look from Neji silenced the servant immediately, and Sugo excused himself.</p><p>Neji went back to his room where Haru was ready to assist him for bed. His mind was still on what he had seen. Kakashi had informed him that the boy went out the day before to use the courtyard as a bathroom. He hadn’t been informed that the boy had left the room for any other reason. Wouldn’t that insinuate the servants hadn’t cleaned him up since? Were they neglecting their duties? What if his advisors found out?</p><p> He breathed out heavily, making Haru, who was combing his hair pause, waiting to see if he was about to give a command. When none came, Haru continued.</p><p>“Have the servants said anything about the boy amongst themselves?” he asked.</p><p>“Not at all, my lord, they wouldn’t dare to,” Haru replied in calm even tone. “If they were brave enough to, they would never say while in the manor.”</p><p>That was true. He didn’t hire stupid people. “Then how about servants slacking off.”</p><p>“Everyone works and do as they are told without exception.”</p><p>“Hm,” he replied vaguely, reaching forward to grab the profiles Sugo had left for him. Then why were the boy’s feet dirty? Could he have possibly slipped past the notice of his shadow guards?</p><p>Neji opened the first profile, reading over the candidate’s credentials, quickly. The sooner he found someone to tutor the boy, the sooner he could ask the boy himself and solve that little mystery.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- Heian Period: 794-1185AD<br/>-First division of the hour of the dog: Between 5pm-5:30pm. The hour of the dog is between 5pm-7pm. Incense used to be used for measurements of time. incense burns for about 30 minutes. Thus there are 4 divisions in a period. Time was told by using animals of the Zodiac. So first half hour of the time between 5-7.<br/>-Kyoto used to be the main capital of Japan and where the shogunate and imperial family lived. The Edo period started when the capital was moved to Edo (now known as Tokyo) where the shogunate (Tokugawa) moved. The imperial family regained some power that had previously been lost once the shogunate appeared during the Edo period, regaining some of their former glory.</p><p>Please leave a comment on your thoughts on the chapters. They do encourage more writing. If I don't think anyone is reading, I don't bother posting. For example, Free Me for Desolation is actually on chapter 40, not 8, but as it has no readers I don't update it. I do accept vaid criticisms, so please let your thoughts be known.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not going to lie, this is minimally edited. My head is killing me, and I just want to post and get it over with. I will edit in the morning.... maybe after watching Umbrella Academy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a couple nights of restless sleep, Neji finally got the sleep he craved. He was annoyed to be awoken by the knock of his servants and have the sun stream into his room, keeping him from drifting back off. He sat, letting the blanket pool at his waist. His body was heavy, his limbs moving lethargically as he fought against the draw of sleep. It was difficult even as the twins helped him out of bed to get ready.</p><p>There were still several hours of daylight left, and Neji’s eyes drifted to look at the sunlight in a daze. It had been quite some time since he had been awake while the sun was this high in the sky. He had seen the sun as it was setting and while it rose, but he was usually in bed an hour before or after respectively.</p><p>As Natsu fixed his hair, putting it into a high ponytail, Neji’s mind wandered to the person he was about to meet. He had met demons before but never one of this caliber. Should he be nervous? If he offended him somehow, everything he worked for could be ruined in a blink of an eye. But he felt nothing. No anxiety. No worries. He had just accepted it as what it was. He would come out of it for the better or worse. He really had grown numb over the years, hadn’t he? If something like this didn’t move him, what would?</p><p>“Master, will you be taking your meal now?” Natsu asked.</p><p>“No, I will eat when I return.” Neji stood. “Has Sugo conducted the interview already?”</p><p>“Yes. The tutor said he would return in a couple of hours to start the young master’s first lesson.”</p><p>Neji nodded in acknowledgment. Hopefully, the boy would learn and become more independent quickly.</p><p>He left the manor with Kakashi at his side and several shadow guards following him unseen. Before he left, however, Sasuke had asked to come as well. Neji didn’t know why but found it to be a good opportunity to say no as punishment for annoying him last night. Sasuke insisted once again, and when Neji asked why, he dropped it, excusing himself. Neji watched him go with mild curiosity. Shadow guards demanding to come on a trip usually meant they knew something he didn’t or thought Neji was lacking adequate protection. As it probably wasn’t the later, he wondered what it was Sasuke knew.</p><p>Going into town, it was lively. Much livelier than he was used to. He couldn’t recall the last time he went into town while the sun was still up. There was still an hour before nightfall. The town was bathed in the golden, late evening sun.</p><p>Not wanting to be late, Neji left a little earlier to make sure he was on time for his meeting. He had not expected the fox demon to already be there waiting. The demon was sitting at one of the tables, tea and snacks already presented to him. He wore a bit of a disguise, an illusion with magic no doubt. His ears were hidden, and his hair had become black, though it was still wild and untamed even in its ponytail, its consistency thick like animal fur.</p><p>Seeing that half the snacks were already eaten, he must have been waiting for a little while. Neji had been almost certain the lord was going to make him wait. Knowing the mischievous nature of kitsunes, he approached with a skeptical mind.  “Kurama-sama,” he bowed. “I apologize for being late. I hope I did not keep you waiting too long.”</p><p>Kurama was watching the activity across the street, holding a dango stick in his teeth. Slowly, he straightened his back and his eyes drifted lazily to Neji. Smirking, he removed the stick. “You know what I hate the most are people who don’t speak directly.”</p><p>“I am not sure what you mean, my lord.”</p><p>Kurama leaned back, eying Neji with a playful gaze. “Why did you apologize for being late when you are early? Or does my arrival automatically dictate what is the right time of meeting?”</p><p>Neji was dumbfounded, unsure of what to say. Older beings always demanded respect from the younger. People in power never wanted to be told they were wrong from those underneath them. It was like this for humans as well as demons and gods. Was this a trap?</p><p>“Did you think I was trying to get you in trouble by being early?” Kurama asked, picking up his cup of tea, bringing it to his lips and drinking its contents. “If so, you consider yourself too high of importance. Even if I fancy your establishment, I hold you with only a little regard, barely worth a mention.”</p><p>While annoyed, Neji remained quiet, holding his tongue from saying something that may get him killed.</p><p>Kurama knew of his predicament, smiling as if he had won. “Please sit down, my lord. Don’t wait on my account.”</p><p>Neji walked around the table, sitting down. He waived over a waitress who came immediately, blushing, and he ordered a cup of tea. As the girl left, he addressed Kurama, “If I may be blunt then, Kurama-sama, if you barely consider me worth thinking about, why did you call me out here.”</p><p>Kurama’s eyes drifted back to the activity across the street. “This town of yours, you’ve done a good job building it up. The corruption, poverty, and crime, are down, and business are thriving. Add in your interesting establishment and Mama-san speaking so well of you, I guess you could say I got a bit curious about the owner of it all.”</p><p>“Is curiosity the only thing?” Neji asked.</p><p>“For now,” Kurama replied.</p><p>There was a high-pitched scream from across the street, drawing Neji and Kakashi’s attention while Kurama just smiled mischievously. A few seconds later, a young man came running out of the bookshop, jumping up and down shouting “Ew! Ew!” making Kurama chuckle a little. The young man had unusually light hair and light eyes. From his attire, the simple clothes and apron he wore, and the way he had his sleeves tied back, he worked at the bookshop.</p><p>Kurama’s eyes softened and his mischievous smile took a turn to something a little more sincere. “The people here are happy. Much happier than those in Kyoto. Kyoto has been the center of political struggle for so long, I was almost relieved when the shogunate named Edo as the new capital. Demons flood to where there is discontent. Cities draw them. The miasma around Kyoto had been thick for the past 700 years. For the first time, it has lifted a little with the new prosperity of the country. As demon king, and son of the fox god you undoubtedly think I am, the lack of bloodshed, both human and demon, is… a nice change.”</p><p>Neji's eyes went back to the human who was pacing outside the bookstore only to shiver and back away when another employee came out carrying a very large spider on a book. Kurama’s eyes were watching the young man fondly.</p><p>“It was not my intent to make your ideal town.”</p><p>“I know,” Kurama said, picking up another dango and popping it into his mouth. “This town was designed to serve your purposes. Your girls were fishing for information and leverage. Expertly mind you. Mama-san knows how to make a man feel wanted.” His smirk returned, making him come off as cocky. “And various shop keepers around the city do the same, selecting specific targets. I wouldn’t have known if not for the fact my aniki was in this area, warning me. You make dealings with him no?”</p><p>“Perhaps,” he replied cautiously. Neji couldn’t think of any fox demons that he knew of, but he did have dealings with demons who had owned the land previously, promising not to expand past certain boundaries, and did them the occasional favor like keep police from investigating the occasional demon murder outside the town. He had worked particularly close with a water demon, revered as a god by the townsfolk. He wondered if the eloquent and soft-spoken water god was who Kurama was referring to. “But if I may, I do not appreciate being woken up so early merely to satisfy your curiosity. I hope there is another reason as well.”</p><p>Neji took a gamble to speak on the same level as him, and the fox demon looked amused with approval in his eye.</p><p>Before he could speak, they were interrupted by the bookstore worker from across the street. “Aniki! Aniki! You came!” The worker went up to Kurama, hanging on his arm.  “I thought you said you were busy?”</p><p>The fox demon’s eyes were gentle as he regarded the boy, placing a hand on his head. “I had some free time,” he said, addressing the boy like he was a beloved younger brother with a teasing tone. “Did you like my gift?”</p><p>The young man’s eyes widened, “That was you?! Bastard!”</p><p>Neji, who had been watching them and drinking his tea quietly, coughed. A mere human dared to use such vulgar language to a demon lord?</p><p>“So you did like it,” he laughed. “I’m glad.”</p><p>“Stop treating me like a kid,” the young man said, sulking like a child. “I’ve grown up.”</p><p>“Yes, yes,” Kurama rubbed patted his head. “You’ve done really well.”</p><p>The young man blushed at the praise, acting bashful from the compliment. “You’re just saying that,” he mumbled.</p><p>The young man had a bubbly personality, radiating energy despite his vulgar mouth and not at all reserved in expression or actions. Finally noticing, Neji, he became flustered. “Oh, I didn’t know you had company.” He bowed deeply. “Nice to meet ya, Onii-san, my name is Uzumaki Naruto. I own the bookshop across the street.”</p><p>Neji didn’t offer his name. Keeping his name secret from commoners helped keep his presence on the down low, keeping those who were not in his fold from interfering with his activities. However, this boy was obviously important to the demon lord, making him wonder about their relationship.</p><p>At Neji’s silence, the boy became hesitant, glancing at the fox demon for help, not wanting to be rude to Kurama’s guest, but offended by Neji’s blatant rudeness and arrogance.</p><p>“Don’t mind him, kid. How about we go shopping since I’m here?”</p><p>The boy’s eyes lit up. “Really?”</p><p>“Of course. That Onii-san over there is super shy, but he wanted to buy us some nice things. He told me he wanted you to pick the best and most expensive things,” the fox-like smile spread across Kurama’s face as he looked at Neji. "Isn't that right, <em>onii-san</em>."</p><p>Confusion filled the young man’s face. “Why would he—”</p><p>“Hey, are you going to refuse this young lord’s precious offer, kid?” Even the lord’s tone changed to one that was affectionate. “Are you that bold to offend him?”</p><p>The young man quickly bowed to Neji again in a slight panic while Kurama stifled a laugh. “Thank you for the offer, my lord!”</p><p>“No thanks are needed,” Neji replied, a small glare slipping as he looked to the demon who got him into this mess, realizing why the demon had called him here.</p><p>“Then let’s get going before the good shops close,” Kurama urged the kid forward, smirking at Neji as he passed. Having no choice but to bear it, Neji left the money on the table to cover the tea and followed with Kakashi at his side.</p><p>As expected, the young man really was childlike, looking at everything with excitement at the marketplace. Despite the kitsune volunteering Neji’s purse, the young man never looked at anything that was expensive. Everything he wanted could be purchased on the boy’s small salary. A couple of red bean cakes, a couple of brushes and paper, and a new pair of zori.</p><p>While it was easy to believe it was because the boy didn’t want to intrude on Neji and be greedy, the young man seemed to really enjoy and treasure each item. Kurama continued acting as the teasing older brother, mocking the boy’s purchases and trying to convince him to get something more expensive. The young man’s eyes did land on high-quality paper at one point, but it didn’t linger, happily going for the cheaper alternative.</p><p>Neji contemplated buying it for the boy anyway, but the fox demon purchased it before he could. How had a human boy so young tame a demon lord while remaining completely oblivious?</p><p>They managed to end up at the only store in town that sold foreign goods, obtained from one of the few ports that still allowed foreign trade. The young man looked with curiosity, intrigued by its exoticness, but not wanting anything. Neji recognized many of the items. He had lived for a long time after all.</p><p>Neji’s gazed over the items while they waited, landing on a particular item. A Korean mirror box, and a very nice one at that. They were normally given to noblewomen as gifts. The mirrors were of high quality, providing a crystal clear image. The dark wood box was a lacquered, that provided two pull out drawers underneath the mirror. It was too extravagant for any commoner to afford or appreciate such craftsmanship and he certainly didn’t need it.</p><p>His fingers brushed over the wood. That boy did not have a mirror of his own, did he?</p><p>“You have a fine eye, my lord. This item just came to us. A very expensive item, coming from a famous craftsman in the west. I already had five offers for it—”</p><p>Neji held up a koban before the salesman could even start a price war. Seeing the gold coin, the man inhaled sharply. “I’ll package it and send it to your residence immediately, my lord,” the salesman said sweetly, taking the coin gratefully with a large smile.  “I’m sure it would make an excellent gift for your wife.”</p><p>Neji’s icy glare, shut the man up, causing him to swallow loudly and excuse himself, bowing constantly as he backed away. The man talked too much.</p><p>When the man eventually remembered he had to ask for an address Kakashi intervened, saying he would carry the item, allowing Neji to continue browsing the items. There was also a set of brushes that caught his eye. They were also of good quality, some of the best he had seen outside the capital. The boy would need a set, wouldn’t he? And an inkstone. Paper. An inkan needed to be made as well…</p><p>Thinking of the inkan, he realized he did not even know the boy’s name. Not that he cared. What did a boy who wasn’t meant to be there need an inkan for? A set of brushes was already a nice enough gift.</p><p>Despite that, he found himself looking at various inkstones and ink sticks. He ended up buying the brush set and 10 different inksticks, 5 black and 5 colored, rationalizing that he needed a new set anyway, despite having it wrapped up as a gift. The boy needed tools to learn the language. There was nothing wrong with that.  </p><p>The young man Kurama had brought along was drawn to the books. While literacy was growing among the common people, the young man was reading Chinese literature, something many people could not read except the nobles. The young man was drawn in until the merchant came to scold him for reading merchandise he had no plans to buy.</p><p>“Interesting, isn’t he,” Kurama commented, playing with the silver in his hand that was going to be used to buy the book Naruto had been reading. “15 years old and carries the entire world on his shoulders, and you would never know. Seeing him happy in this town, I cannot help but want to make sure he stays that way.”</p><p> Kurama looked at Neji. “You’re looking for information. I will help you, on the condition that you make sure that boy suffers no undue hardships. However, if you allow something to happen to him,” Kurama smiled, showing his two fangs and his eyes flashed gold, “I will burn your town to the ground and slaughter everything in a 10 ri radius.”</p><p>The demon was serious. Neji exhaled. “Do I even have a choice?”</p><p>“I’m glad we understand each other but don’t worry. I’m not asking for anything unreasonable. I’m not asking you to ward off a god or army of demons. Ensuring he lives a normal life is enough.”</p><p>“Aniki! Let’s go drink?” the young man called out, waving Kurama over.</p><p>“Are you even old enough,” he called back, walking towards the kid.</p><p>In the end, Neji didn’t think it was a horrible deal. He could spare some of his private guards to watch over the boy in secret. Kurama’s resources reached much farther than his. If he was ever going to find him, having Kurama on his side was worth the minor inconvenience, though he planned to look into the boy’s background to ensure he shouldn’t expect a demon army. Just in case.</p><p>Neji and the demon lord separated paths there. The demon lord said he would help, and Neji believed him. He just had to decide how much information to tell the lord. The lord had shown him his weakness, should Neji show a glimpse of his to gain the demon’s trust, or was that too risky?</p><p>He contemplated the matter, stopping at a few more shops as the lanterns on the streets started to light outside the shops. He made an order for a large quantity of paper to be delivered at a later date and ordered more medicinal herbs to be sent to the manor.</p><p>Returning home, he saw his butler speaking to a man he had never met. He was a middle-aged man, obviously human. He was tall, but very lean, lacking muscle. He must have been the tutor they had hired.</p><p>Seeing Neji, Sugo bowed to Neji, welcoming him home, already calling servants to take the parcels Kakashi carried.</p><p>“Is this the tutor?” Neji asked.</p><p>“Yes, my lord. Mizuki-sensei has come for the boy’s first lesson. He was just leaving.”</p><p>“My lord,” the man bowed as well.</p><p>Neji’s eyes assessed the man. “It is barely entered the hour of the pig and you are leaving?”</p><p>Sugo and the tutor glanced at each other. “The boy has proven to be… a bit more challenging than I had suspected,” the tutor replied carefully. “I decided it would be best that I go home today so that I may be bettered prepared and suit the boy’s needs better.”</p><p>Neji looked at Sugo gesturing with his eyes to head to his office. Sugo bowed and did as he was told. “You were not adequately prepared to perform your duties?”</p><p>“When I was told foreigner, I had suspected a Chinese or Korean boy. Maybe even one of the people who call themselves Portuguese or Dutch. I have never seen one such as him. He appears quite barbaric.”</p><p>That was true. Neji had thought the same things. The boy couldn’t even use utensils. “I see. Then you have tonight to better prepare yourself.”</p><p>Neji started to walk away, but the tutor spoke up, hesitation in his voice when he asked, “If I may, can I inquire as to your plans with the foreigner?”</p><p>Neji stopped, turning his cold eyes onto the human. “Why? Do you plan to tell someone about him?”</p><p>Kakashi stepped forward, thumb pushing against the guard and exposing some of the katana’s blade.</p><p>“No. Not at all,” the tutor replied hastily. “It’s just a scholar’s pure curiosity. An opportunity to learn about this strange boy. I first thought him to be a demon with his appearance.”</p><p>Neji’s eyes narrowed. “Then I would recommend you keep that curiosity in your heart and no show it nowhere else. His existence is only within these walls and should be erased whenever you leave through the gates. If you are not here to teach, then leave this property at once. Kakashi.”</p><p>The guard moved to escort the tutor out.</p><p>As he walked further into the manner, he was accompanied by Natsu and Haru, joining him silently as ever. Sugo was waiting patiently inside, standing.</p><p>“What happened,” Neji asked as Natsu went to remove his haori and Haru went to work rubbing the ink.</p><p>“The master’s guest was not cooperating with the tutor. He refused to speak and refused to eat when the tutor tried to teach him dining etiquette. When the tutor grabbed at him to force the chopsticks in his hand, the boy kicked the tray, knocking it over.  When the tutor tried to discipline him for the action, the boy struck the tutor.”</p><p>Neji paused, his lips down turning. “Has he hit anyone else?”</p><p>“No. However, it has become clear to the servants that he does not like to be touched. If he struggles, the servants do not pursue the matter.”</p><p>That explained the sand and dirt on the boy’s feet. “Any other matters that need to be brought to my attention?”</p><p>“Early this evening, shortly after you had left the manner, the boy left the room. Since the majority of the staff is asleep during that time, the shadow guards were the only ones that saw him. It appeared he was looking around the courtyard. It was brief. A few minutes at most. “</p><p>“I see.” Neji looked down at Haru who was working on the ink. Most of his work was done for the week. Until tomorrow when he had a one on one with his political advisor, he was able to relax a little. “Any leads from Shisui?”</p><p>“No, my lord. Nothing.”</p><p>So same news as always. Never anything concrete. Only false leads and false hope. He wasn’t disappointed. He had grown indifferent to the news. Every new lead he suspected it would end in failure before it was even pursued. This time was no different.</p><p>“Send the ink to the boy’s room as well as some parchment. If he will not learn to speak, he can learn to be cultured.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord,” Haru bowed. Quickly and quietly, he picked up the ink, and Natsu picked up the paper, quickly leaving.</p><p>“What do you think of him?”</p><p>Sugo was startled by Neji’s question, looking up at first then quickly bowing his head. “I do not know what you mean, my lord.”</p><p>“You’re opinion of the boy. What do you think of him?”</p><p>Sugo’s form quivered. “This servant is not that smart. I would not dare have an opinion of your mate.”</p><p>“And yet I ask for your thoughts. Do you dare defy me?”</p><p>Sugo went quiet. His mouth opening.</p><p>“Do not lie to me. Speak the truth.”</p><p>Sugo’s mouth closed. The quaking in the old man’s body intensified, terrified to speak. “I think… that the boy… I feel that he is ungrateful and arrogant. He does not appreciate the expensive medicine you have given him or the personal attention you have bestowed on him. He demands your attention without considering the inconvenience he causes others. You treat him well, yet he shows no eagerness to learn our ways or be close to you. I feel… I feel that he is not a good fit for you.”</p><p>Neji’s eyes lost focus, staring through Sugo for several seconds while Sugo tensed with fear of retribution and punishment for speaking poorly of his master’s mate. “I agree. He does not appear to be a good fit for me.”</p><p>Sugo remained kneeling and tense up until Neji left the study. No matter how Neji looked at this, it would never have worked out even if he was trying. But it was for the best. He didn’t want it to work out. He didn’t need a distraction. Didn’t need that boy.</p><p>Haru and Natsu were waiting outside the room, bowing to him. “Lunch was brought just a moment ago,” Haru said.</p><p>“Will you take your meal here?” Natsu asked.</p><p>Neji thought it over as he reached to open the door. “Yes.” He entered.</p><p>For once, he did not find the boy sitting against the wall. Instead, he was sitting at his new desk that had been supplied for him for his lessons. His room had been decorated as he had asked. He recognized many items that had been kept in the storehouse. Paintings that had been spoils of war. The desk that had belonged to a friend of his 200 years ago. And then there was the new addition, the mirror box he had purchased of course.</p><p>He put his hands in his sleeves, looking over the boy’s shoulder and seeing what appeared to be wavy lines. Was he trying to paint? The ink was leaking and bleeding through the paper. He was pressing too hard on the bristles, ruining the fine point of the brush. The boy was however determined, gritting his teeth whenever he made a mistake. After watching for some time, Neji realized it was not art, but writing. Or an attempt. The ink kept running, smearing the words.</p><p>The boy’s face grew frustrated. Even a little sad as he angrily put the brush down.</p><p>“So you aren’t uneducated,” Neji commented.</p><p>The boy jumped, startled by his presence. He was staring at him wide-eyed. He tried to hide the piece of paper, but Neji was faster, grabbing it from him. The boy tried to reach for it, and Neji kept it out of his reach as he looked it over. He had never seen writing like this, but perhaps Nara had. This piece of paper might help.</p><p>The boy was getting desperate, his brows furrowing and looking increasingly panicked as he reached for the paper, pressing himself up against Neji as he reached.</p><p>Being so close, he could see the worried expression and how his skin was paling from moving around so much, reminding him, Neji that the boy was supposed to be sick. He gave the paper back and the boy snatched it from his hands, clutching it to his chest and glaring at him.</p><p>“I didn’t realize it was so important.”</p><p>The boy sat back down in a huff. He kept the paper crumpled in his lap, keeping it out of sight. Was it important or was he just embarrassed?</p><p>The door to the room opened, bringing Neji’s meal. It was a light meal. As a vampire, he didn’t eat as much as he used to. A servant brought the food to the center of the room, placing it next to the boy’s untouched meal. He bowed to them before leaving.</p><p>Neji took a seat, however, the boy stayed at the table, hands in his lap with that paper. “Are you not going to eat?”</p><p>The boy turned his head a little, eying Neji and the trays of food. He continued to sit in silence for several minutes. Not waiting for the boy, Neji said, “Itadakimasu,” picking up the bowl, uncovering it, and letting the smell of miso waft to his nose. He inhaled deeply, letting the warmth and smell envelop his being. Food, when consumed, should be appreciated.</p><p>He took a sip.</p><p>The boy came over to him, staring at him. He held curiosity on his face, staring at the tray of food. Today, the boy had a full meal on his tray instead of porridge. Perhaps the staff was hoping different food would get him to eat or perhaps the staff thought he was no longer ill. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he was. “Are you going to eat?”</p><p>The boy sat down in front of his tray, glancing at the food then he glanced at Neji’s. With his fingers, he started to put some of his eel on top of Neji’s rice. Neji’s brows furrowed. Did he not like eel? As soon as he wondered, the boy ate the rest of his eel, still insisting on eating with his hands.</p><p>“You should use the hashi,” he gestured to the chopsticks.</p><p>The boy stared at him blankly. Of course, he didn’t know what he was talking about. Leading by example, he picked up the chopsticks. “Hashi,” he said then picking up some rice to eat. With the next bit of rice, he said, “Gohan.”</p><p>  The boy didn’t copy him, but Neji didn’t think he was ignoring him either. He eyed the chopsticks, then at his meal. He proceeded to eat with his hands though he didn’t look at Neji the entire time. Occasionally, he would put more food on Neji’s plate. Pickled vegetables and some rice. Perhaps there was too much food for the boy.</p><p>Neji poured a cup of wine, bringing it to his lips and drinking. The boy, without asking, took the bottle, sniffing at the contents. He took a tentative taste before taking a much larger gulp.</p><p> Neji smirked. “You won’t drink your medicine, but alcohol entices you.”</p><p> The boy continued to drink from the bottle. “Haru, bring more wine.” He didn’t need to raise his voice. He knew they could hear him with their hearing. It didn’t take long. Neji sipped at his sake while he waited. Haru came in, presenting a jug of alcohol, leaving it beside Neji and quickly leaving.</p><p>Neji poured himself another glass and passed it to the boy who poured more into the bottle. It appeared they had one thing in common at least. They were able to eat their meals in quiet, passing the alcohol between them. </p><p>The atmosphere wasn’t bad. It was almost enjoyable. The boy didn’t become drunk, but his cheeks did get flushed. It wasn’t a bad color. He let the boy have the jug of alcohol when the boy reached over, dragging the bottom across the floor as he brought it over. It appeared the alcohol was affecting the boy a bit.</p><p>Neji collected the materials brought earlier by the twins, spreading the cloth and paper out on the floor, placing the weights on the edges of the paper. He placed the ink carefully on the floor sat in seiza position, centering his inner self. He dipped the tip of the brush in the ink. Then he let the movement take over.</p><p>His brush flew across the paper with elegant strokes. The broad strokes turned into the outlines of the mountains. The thin light lines turned to a cascading waterfall. Neji could see it in his mind. The way mist would rise from the thundering falls and the trees growing out of the side of the mountains emerged.</p><p>He focused his thought only on the image and the brush. It had been so long since the last time he did an ink painting. He thought his skills would have rusted, but as with calligraphy, once he started, the brush took over, bringing his thoughts into existence.</p><p> His brush stopped.</p><p>Why? Why did he draw this? The brush broke in his hand as he took in the mountain waterfall landscape he had painted. All these years and he could still remember it in such detail. How had so many other human memories fade over time, but this one was still vivid?</p><p>Neji’s lips thinned, and he moved to dump the ink over the paper to erase the painting from existence. Before he could, it was the boy’s turn to snatch the page away.</p><p>Neji didn’t try to get the painting back. It would be better if that painting was burned from existence.</p><p>Unexpectedly, the boy leaned over, his movements uncoordinated from the alcohol, and retrieved another piece of paper, placing it in front of Neji. Did he want another painting?</p><p>However, Neji didn’t want to paint anymore. He didn’t want to see the paper or brush at all. His mood had soured.</p><p>He left the room, leaving the servants to clean up the tray and leftover alcohol.</p><p>He locked himself in his room, buried himself in accounts he had already checked, and worked until sunrise. And when he went to bed, he closed his eyes, trying to drown out the image of that valley with numbers and schemes. But as he drifted, slipping into sleep, he could see “him”, bathing in the mist. The two of them on a hot summer day. Flushed cheeks and sweet words. Wishing time would stop and preserve the moment. </p><p>Those whispers drifted into his dreams, and his heart cried and his anger grew. Revenge, would he ever get it? Or was that too to remain a desire he could never have.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>zori- the straw shoes</p><p>inkan- are the personalized stamps that are used to sign official documents. It's like a signature in the west.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Diary Entry 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I have been in this room for four days.  It’s strange. There is no security, and the owner still hasn’t been to see me. I thought perhaps the owner of this house wasn’t a nobleman, but a merchant instead, so I had snuck out during the day. I confirmed my first suspicion. I wasn’t a prisoner. Not only could I walk outside, there were no guards in sight.  My second suspicion was also confirmed. Despite it being the middle of the day, there wasn’t a single soul around that I could see or hear. </em>
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  <em>I thought of escaping, but I stopped myself. Even if I left this house, I didn’t have the means to survive on my own. Not yet. I need an ally first to get anywhere.</em>
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  <em>That servant, a long-haired man with delicate features that I mentioned in my previous letter, he is the only one not on a set schedule. Unlike the other servants who come at steady intervals, this one comes at odd times. The first night, it was near morning. The second night slightly early. Tonight, it was barely nightfall. </em>
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  <em>I do not understand him. The other servants are expressionless and barely speak. They come and go the moment they complete their duties. This one speaks, lingers, watches me eat. After the second visit, I thought maybe he was not a servant, but a scholar, but today a scholar came to teach me. I did not like the tutor. He looks at me like I am less, a pet at most, and dared to touch me without my permission. The tutor is lucky I did not take his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The long-haired servant never looked at me that way. There is something about him. Though he does not wish to serve me, there is something in his eyes I can relate to. A tiredness of living. Doing the bare minimum to keep yourself alive and wondering why you bother to keep up the struggle. It is a feeling I understand well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This servant, he is so thin and delicate looking. I cannot help but wonder if this house treats their servants well. When I chased the tutor away, he came in the tutor’s place. He tried to teach me their dinner etiquette. The food they had brought the servant was so much less than mine. Not even half of what I was served. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I gave him some of my food, and he showed confusion. His master must not be so kind if receiving some extra food was such a surprise. He was more surprised when I drank the alcohol he had been drinking. For the first time, the servant smiled and showed amusement. It brightened his eyes. As if he had found a comrade. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Despite myself, I kept drinking, lowering my guard. Honestly, I think I was tired. I’ve been on guard since I have arrived in this strange house. Alcohol is familiar and this servant seemed to share my sorrow though we cannot express it in words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think the alcohol helped him too. After our meal concluded, he started to paint. I thought he was going to try to teach me again, much to my dismay, but instead, he took the ink and the brush in silence and began to paint. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I had never seen anything like it. He moved the brush with grace and elegance, and his face was serene. It was if his heart knew peace, still like water without a ripple of grief. No, in those moments, he did not know of pain or sadness. I do not give out compliments lightly, and I am even more hesitant to describe him as such, but for lack of a better word, he was beautiful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I never knew such a painting could existing. All black with flowing lines like water. I wanted another one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know what happened. When the painting was finished, the peace the servant showed vanished. He seemed shocked and disturbed by the painting. He left without saying a word. He didn’t even try to force the herb mixture my way this time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do not understand this place. I do not understand why I am here. I am not a prisoner, so what am I to these people? They have decorated my room a bit more, though scarce, even I can tell these items have skilled craftsmen behind it. If I were bought to be a pleasure slave, then why do the servants not clean me, dress me more extravagantly, or cover me in oils and perfume. They even try to teach me. They treat me more like a guest than a prisoner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s this uncertainty that makes me wary. I am used to palace schemes to kill me, but there I know what to expect. I do not know what to expect here. I do not know who or what I can trust or what is to happen to me. It is colder here. The food is strange. The people barbaric. I do not know what I should do. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tomorrow, I will explore a little more. I have little hope, but perhaps they will not stop me from leaving. While small, there could be a chance that these people are not hostile after all. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My brother, should you one day receive these writings, know that I am not suffering for now. Be patient and think things through.  There is no need to hurry to rescue me. I will continue to try to find a way back home in the meantime. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>May God Bless you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gaara</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave comments. Help me grow and continue.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sickness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please leave a comment to let me know this is being read. I just need one comment from either AO3 or Fanfiction to keep writing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neji fought the urge to tap his fingers, listening to the ongoing negotiations with the Chinese merchants who had come before. He didn’t need to say anything. He only had to sit and be an imposing presence. That wasn’t hard. Even when he said nothing, his dislike at their presence was felt by the hostile power he emitted that would occasionally distract and freeze the humans in place.</p><p>With him, Uchiha and Nara led the conversation while Namikaze would offer his input from time to time. Uchiha was a smooth talker when he wanted to be, easily inserting recommendations early on in the conversation and carefully leading them to the same conclusion much later down the road. He knew how to flatter and play up to the Chinese nobleman’s vanity, making him think he was more important than he was. His servant on the other hand was biting his cheek to avoid correcting his master, aware of what Uchiha was doing.</p><p>Neji watched the servant, making the man increasingly uncomfortable with his gaze.</p><p>“You flatter me, Uchiha-san,” the merchant laughed. “You have a silver tongue.”</p><p>“I only speak the truth,” Uchiha lied with such a sincere smile. Neji almost scoffed. “I look forward to continuing business with you.”</p><p>“Likewise. Likewise.” The merchant shifted his eyes to Neji then promptly looked away, becoming submissive instinctively when Neji turned his eyes back on him. “I-it was a pleasure to speak with you as well, my lord. “</p><p>Neji shifted, showing his lack of care or concern for the merchant with every move. “Do you mind if I borrow your servant for a moment?”</p><p>The merchant looked at the young man by his side with confusion. “Has he offended you, my lord?”</p><p>“In a way,” Neji said. “Would you take offense if I punished him?” Neji was mildly amused at the expression passing on the merchant’s face.</p><p>The humiliation that someone wanted to punish his slave in his place and the anger that followed. He forced a smile, unable to refuse. “Of course, my lord.” The merchant bowed and excused himself.</p><p>The servant remained bowed as his master left, keeping silent and waiting to be spoken to.</p><p>“Are you afraid?” he asked the servant.</p><p>“If this servant has offended you, then I deserve my punishment,” his voice wavered ever so slightly, showing his fear, but he had a dignity that pig of a merchant didn’t have.</p><p>“What do you think of my economic advisors’ suggestions?” He asked. The servant looked up with surprise, and Neji stared back with disinterest. “And do not say something boring like, ‘he is very wise’ or ‘knowledgeable’.  Be more creative than that.”</p><p>The servant considered his words. He was smart. He was considering his words carefully, wondering whether to play dumb or conform to Neji’s request. Valuing his life, he responded, “Your economic advisor is taking advantage of my master’s ignorance. The arrangement currently set up will gradually give Hyuuga-sama more and more control and eventual ownership over the shop and trade route. Uchiha-sama also pried into details about other business that my master owns. I worry about what he is planning.”</p><p>“I see,” Neji said. “You may go. I trust you know what to say when your master asks what was said here?”</p><p>“Yes, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>Neji let him leave.</p><p>“You like him,” Nara commented, tapping his chin with his fan. “Weren’t you looking for an apprentice Uchiha-san.”</p><p>“I was,” Uchiha said looking in thought. “He’s quite well educated. Much more than the master he serves. Could indicate he has a thirst for knowledge and learned on his own. Or he’s just naturally brilliant.”</p><p>“Just proves that one’s birth does not denote one’s intelligence,” Nara said. “Should we take him in?”</p><p>Neji’s lips took a slight downturn. The servant was a foreigner and from China at that. While he made exceptions from time to time about foreigners joining his group, they were often Korean. There was one exception who was a mixed child of a Portuguese man and Japanese woman, but he was stern about not letting Chinese people in. “He’s Chinese,” he said as if that was enough of an explanation of his concerns.</p><p>“But you still asked him about the deal,” Nara said. “So you have to respect him somewhat.”</p><p>“His nationality is a problem,” Namikaze spoke up. “However, it is also a waste to let potential like him stay with a potential enemy.” He looked at Neji, his eyes softening. “It is rare for you to go out of your way to speak to someone. Something about him must have caught your attention with such few words.”</p><p>Namikaze was right of course. With the brief interactions, he knew the servant had put more effort into learning Japanese from his more subtle accent, brave enough to say what he thought despite the chance of angering Neji despite his fear, and gained knowledge outside his master’s capabilities. It was the type of person he looked for when recruiting people.</p><p>“Perhaps a trial?” Uchiha suggested. “I will take full responsibility for him of course. He will be my precious apprentice after all.”</p><p>Namikaze chuckled, turning a playful gaze to his comrade. “Would I be remiss in suggesting that you only want him to pry information out of him?”</p><p>“I don’t know what you mean,” Uchiha denied without a second thought. “I already know where his immediate family is located.”</p><p>“But not all of his extended family.”</p><p>Uchiha only continued smiling, not denying the fact at all.</p><p>Neji exhaled heavily. “Shisui-san, you may enter.”</p><p>A shadow guard jumped down from the ceiling, kneeling in front of Neji. “Uchiha Shisui, reporting to master.”</p><p>“Did you complete the task that I asked of you?”</p><p>Shisui pulled a scroll out of his clothes, presenting it with both hands to Neji. “I collected the location of his businesses. Majority of them were mentioned, but the lord also has many unsavory businesses under a different name. This is where majority of his family’s assets derive from.”</p><p>Uchiha extended his hand. “May I?”</p><p>Shisui waited for approval from Neji before handing the scroll to his cousin. Uchiha looked through it while Namikaze leaned forward to pour himself some tea. “I’ve been thinking about the best way to convince the shogunate to approve of opening a foreign trading route. I have a strategy, but it may take a year or more to convince him.”</p><p>“That is fine,” Neji said, his mind drifting to other matters. A year was nothing. Whether the trade worked out or not meant little in the long run. If Tokugawa couldn’t be convinced, they would just dissolve the trade once it became inconvenient. “If it becomes too troublesome, focus on gaining his favor. Having the shogunate on our side is more important.”</p><p>“Of course, Hyuuga-sama.” Namikaze bowed.</p><p>“Shisui-san, I have another mission for you.”</p><p>“Awaiting your orders, my lord,” Shisui kneeled.</p><p>“In the boy’s room, there is a hidden letter written in a foreign language. Use it to find out the boy’s origins.”</p><p>“Your orders have been received.” With a blink of an eye, Shisui disappeared as quickly as he had come.</p><p>“Shisui-kun is as quiet as usual,” Nara commented.</p><p>“He is committed when on duty,” Uchiha said offhandedly, looking over the scroll. “His properties are quite well established and spread throughout the empire.” Uchiha’s eyes shone with the challenge it presented. “It will be difficult to bring down.”</p><p>Namikaze sighed. “Since Uchiha-san has a new person, I mean problem, to dissect and conquer, I will take my leave and prepare for my departure. I will be needed at court by the end of the month.”</p><p>“I will be anticipating good news in your next report,” Neji said instead of a farewell.</p><p>Namikaze smiled fondly at him and bowed. “I shall make sure to live up to your expectations, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>Namikaze left them, and Uchiha carefully rolled up the scroll. “The atmosphere really is no good when Namikaze-san’s gone.”</p><p>“He is like a patient father,” Nara agreed. “And the most levelheaded and unbiased out of all the advisors.”</p><p>“It will be a long year.” Uchiha sighed, standing as well to bow. “Do I have permission to take the boy as an apprentice, my lord?”</p><p>Neji exhaled, tiredly, “Any trouble he causes will be your head.”</p><p>Uchiha smiled. “I’ll make sure he stays out of trouble.” He straightened out of his bow. “Then I will take my leave, my lord.”</p><p>Neji watched him go as well.</p><p>“Do you need anything from me, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>“No,” Neji said coldly. He hadn’t forgiven Nara for what he had done, and the shadow guard still hadn’t discovered what he was planning. Until something changed, he planned to keep his advisor at a distance.</p><p>Neji left the room, seeing the beginning of the sunrise on the horizon. Too late in the morning to read over the reports. He had been in meetings since he woke up this morning, but he still had some time before calling it a night.</p><p>As he walked the engawa towards his room, he ran into a servant carrying a tray of food. The servant stopped to bow, and Neji’s eyes landed on the food. “Has he eaten today?”</p><p>“Responding to master, he has not. He also has not been drinking much water lately either.”</p><p>“I see.” Neji was hoping he didn’t have to go today. Couldn’t the human take care of himself without his constant supervision? “And the tutor?”</p><p>“He left a short time ago. The master’s guest has been well behaved today and was able to sit through his lessons.”</p><p>“Is that so.” Neji looked at the food in the servant’s hands, debating whether he should give the boy attention. He didn’t feel like going, but his advisors were still talking about the boy, asking if he was well. It was only a matter of time before there would be a banquet he would have to attend or host with his advisors present, and he’d be expected to bring his mate. He’d have to bring the boy at least once to prove the boy was alive and well and sate their curiosity or else they would never forget about him. Perhaps getting it done sooner rather than later would be the best option, but the boy needed to be fully recovered first which would mean the boy would have to eat.</p><p>Feeling mildly annoyed, he took the tray from the servant, going to the boy’s room. Today, the boy wasn’t sitting in the corner or at the desk. He was doing something strange. He was facing to the west, on his knees, butt in the air with his forehead and nose touching the tatami mats, hands on either side of his head.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Neji asked.</p><p>The boy didn’t say anything and tried not to react to him, though his body tensed when he heard Neji’s voice. He sat up, sitting on his heels, eyes closed. A few seconds later, he resumed the position, putting his head to the floor once more.</p><p>Neji closed the door behind him, watching him with mild curiosity.  Neji sat down to watch, observing the boy. Watching as the boy appeared to be muttering something that even his hearing could not pick up.</p><p>The boy sat back up in a meditative state. He turned his head to the left, muttering something, then the right, muttering something again.</p><p>No matter how he looked at it, it was definitely ritualistic in nature, nothing Neji had seen from Buddhist and Shinto temples. It wasn’t like the Christian prayers Neji had seen either, though he was not certain it wasn’t Christianity as he lacked much knowledge of it. He hoped it wasn’t Christianity. That would cause a different set of headaches.</p><p>The boy sat in silence for a while longer before he finally moved, turning his body to face Neji.</p><p>“Are you done?” Neji asked.</p><p>The boy showed his first sign of weakness, appearing a bit bashful and nervous at being seen. Well, even if he was Christian, what he was doing wouldn’t harm anyone as long as no one found out. Should he inquire about it to make sure? Perhaps over time, he could dissuade him from it if that turned out to be the case.</p><p>The boy came over to the food, waiting for Neji to take the first bite as usual. Neji picked up the chopsticks, eating a little of each dish. Once confirmed, the boy tackled the food, once again foregoing the chopsticks.</p><p>Neji didn’t pay much attention this time, his eyes losing focus as he went into thought. This was becoming routine at this point, wasn’t it? Should he be wasting time like this? The time he spent here, he could be looking over reports or plotting out another way to gather information or scheming to bring Tokugawa or the imperial family to his side. Then there was the bandit problem 130 ri away he had to send Asuma on to suppress. Why was he here wasting time?</p><p>He didn’t notice the boy watching his minuscule facial expressions change as he questioned his purpose of being there. He was barely paying attention to the boy until the boy suddenly stood up, walking across the room with light footwork.</p><p>It occurred to Neji it was the first time he had seen the boy walk. Normally people didn’t walk so lightly. There were normally a few reasons a person had naturally light footsteps. Some soldiers, dancers, and messengers were trained to do to the nature of their work to name a few. Women of high status and high-class prostitutes were also taught to walk lightly to accentuate grace and beauty, but that was unlikely as he was no woman and it was highly unlikely, he was a prostitute before his capture.</p><p>Unfortunately, the boy came to a stop too soon for Neji to determine what type of footwork it was. He had returned with paper, an inkstick, and brush, placing them in front of Neji.</p><p>Neji raised an eyebrow at the materials then looked at the boy who was looking at him with those hazel eyes. The boy extended the brush for Neji to take and pointed at the paper. Did he want him to paint again? Too bad he didn’t want to.</p><p>Neji kept his hands in his sleeves not taking the brush. If the boy was done eating, he had no reason to stay. He moved to stand, but the boy got up first, gathering water from his tray, pouring some onto the inkstone, and started rubbing the inkstick against the stone. This was the most active he had seen the boy since arriving.</p><p>Hurriedly, the boy dipped the brush into the ink and started to paint. He had no class, no posture, no proper painting ability whatsoever. His sleeves accidentally dipped into the ink and the ink smeared on his hands, but he seemed determined as the place between his eyebrows crinkled.</p><p>Painting was meant to be a relaxing, tranquil activity, promoting inner peace and clarity of mind. This boy was anything but as he crudely drew what Neji thought was an animal. He couldn’t tell. The creature looked like a horse at first but its back had lumps. He knew children who could paint better.</p><p>Still, the boy worked hard trying to paint, growing frustrated when the ink would bleed together. The boy had added too much water to the ink and had too much ink on the bristles.</p><p>Neji picked up the inkstone and inkstick, rubbing the ink properly and thickening the ink to the proper consistency. The boy gave all his focus to Neji as he worked. It was as if he had never seen someone rub ink. Neji had done it the night before, so he didn’t understand why it was of interest now.</p><p>Once he finished, he picked up one of the spare brushes that had rolled to the side when the boy had put down the supplies initially and dipped the brush, taking just the right amount of ink onto the brush and painting the word “man” onto the paper in clear, beautiful calligraphy. He still wasn’t in the mood to paint, but if the boy was willing to show interest in learning how to properly use a brush, Neji wouldn’t let the opportunity pass by.</p><p>Neji tried to pass the brush to the boy, but the boy used his fingers to fix his own brush bristles and mimicked the dipping and Neji’s writing, copying his strokes.</p><p>“Otoko,” he said, pointing to the word. He pointed to himself. “Otoko.” Then gestured to the boy. “Otoko.”</p><p>The boy lifted the brush, pointing to it.</p><p>“Fude.” He filled in. He used his own brush to write the hiragana, ふで. “Fude.”</p><p>The boy took the time to copy the hiragana. Then wrote something underneath both sets of words in that wavy language from before.</p><p>They continued this for a short while. The boy would point something. Neji would give him the word and write the word down in hiragana and the boy copied.  The boy’s determination reminded him of himself when he was young, studying hard to teach himself how to read and write.</p><p>As he waited for the boy to write down his new word, tatami, Neji’s eyes started to grow heavy. The night had come to an end and it was well past sunrise. It was getting harder to stay awake.</p><p>The boy looked up from his work, watching Neji’s body slowly begin to slump. He hit Neji’s leg, making him fully awake briefly at the assault, eyes narrowing at the boy. His icy glare didn’t perturb the boy who met his gaze head on. The boy pointed at the bed.</p><p>Neji’s breathing hitched. Eyes darting from the bed to the boy. The boy pointed to Neji then the bed again. Neji didn’t breathe for several seconds. Abruptly, he stood up, much to the boy’s surprise who fell back with Neji’s sudden and violent movement and left the room, slamming the door shut.</p><p>He ignored Natsu and Haru’s quizzical glance at each other and at him as he quickly walked back to his room, focused on his destination. That boy couldn’t possibly have wanted to… No of course not. That boy couldn’t possibly have wanted to share a bed with him. They were both men. He had to know it was wrong.</p><p>Neji entered his room, slamming the door shut and keeping his servants outside. He started to pace.</p><p>Yeah, it had to be a mistake. The boy was like a child and seemed clueless about everything.</p><p>He stopped pacing.</p><p>But the boy was a foreigner. They thought differently. Acted differently. He was a barbarian with barbaric practices. Maybe where the boy came from, sharing a bed with a man wasn’t so looked down upon.</p><p>He clenched his fists until blood began to trail down his fingers to the floor.</p><p>He would not allow that to happen. He would not allow anything of the sort to happen in his manor. He’d let the servants care for the boy from now on. He’d tell the servants to force him to eat if he continued to act out, but he wouldn’t take care of him anymore. He would sever this red string between them if it was the last thing he did.</p>
<hr/><p>“Accounting errors?” Neji asked, looking through the account book Kurenai had presented him.</p><p>“Yes, my lord.” Kurenai had come in urgently the next evening, asking for a meeting, uncharacteristically nervous as she presented several account books to him. Kurenai was a meticulous and straightforward woman. She supported her husband on and off the battlefield for centuries and was the model of a strong woman behind a successful man. So hearing that there had been minor accounting miscalculations over the past several years, seemed not only surprising under Kurenai’s watch, but unbelievable.</p><p>Neji wrote a few things down on a separate piece of parchment. “So someone has been embezzling funds from various businesses over the past 5 years.” He looked at the woman across from him.</p><p>She was trying to stay strong, trying to keep her face remorseful as she said, “Yes, my lord.” Her voice quivered, not with fear, but with anger and frustration at her own failings.</p><p>Neji pulled out the list of supplies he needed to send to the army as well as the taxes he owed the shogunate for this year. This year the guilty party had been greedy, taking enough to be noticed rather than skimming a few coins and supplies here and there which led to a major problem. They didn’t have enough money for the taxes or and they came up short on supplies. After opening the Heavenly Pleasure House, Neji’s personal gold reserve was low, and could not cover the expenses with his own money, and they had less than a week to acquire the money.</p><p>“My lord, I have been negligent of my duties and allowed something like this to happen. I deserve to die.” Kurenai bowed her head, her hands clenching her kimono. Kurenai didn’t fear death, but her shame for having made such a grave mistake fueled her anger, and her eyes reflected the will for vengeance on the one who had tampered with her books.</p><p>“You shall be punished,” Neji said, putting the account book down, “But killing Asuma-san’s mate for an offense that even I had not noticed when double-checking the books would reflect poorly on me. Summon Uchiha-san, my personal account books, and the storehouse log.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord. Thank you for your mercy.” She bowed and quickly went to do as she was told, almost bumping into a servant that was about to knock.</p><p>“What is it?” he asked impatiently. He was going to be up for a while trying to find a way to compensate for the missing money, and really didn’t want to hear any more news.</p><p>“Master, about the guest—”</p><p>“Not now,” Neji cut him off.</p><p>“But master, the boy has—”</p><p>“Is he dead?”</p><p>The servant faltered. “No, my lord.”</p><p>“Did he escape?”</p><p>“No, my lord.”</p><p>“Then are you so incompetent that you must bother me for every little thing he has does?”</p><p>“… No, my lord. We will deal with it.”</p><p>The servant retreated, and Neji was left in a foul mood only for it to further worsen seeing Uchiha had brought along the Chinese servant as his apprentice. Uchiha had always moved quickly, but he didn’t think he’d buy the servant off the merchant in a day.</p><p>“Good evening, Hyuuga-sama,” he bowed respectfully. “Kurenai-san has already informed us of what has happened. Tobi-kun and I will do everything in our power to help.”</p><p>The servant behind him stood several steps back and bowed as well, bowing the Chinese way with his left fist cupped by his right hand.</p><p>“Tobi?” Neji questioned, staring down the apprentice.</p><p>Uchiha glanced back before answering. “I thought a Japanese name would help blend in better.”</p><p>“Is that so?” Neji wasn’t convinced. A name change didn’t change where a person came from. Exhaling, he closed his eyes. “We have a week to obtain the money for our needs. I expect all of you to help me come up with a solution that impacted the townspeople as little as possible. We just collected taxes. Raising them now would raise too much discontent and questions.”</p><p>“Do not worry, Hyuuga-sama, we will fix this situation as quickly as possible and root out the traitor before the week is finished.”</p><p>Hearing Uchiha’s declaration did make him feel more assured that everything would get done as planned. He would make sure someone took responsibility for this mess, and he would not be merciful, but the situation can and would be managed.</p><p>They worked through the majority of the night looking at file after file and talking about ways to get the money without resorting to selling any priceless items in the storehouse. It was Tobi that came up with a viable solution by using the agreement with the Chinese merchant. Normally, the trade would start slow with people wary of the foreigners setting up shop, but an endorsement from the acting city lord would drive up sales even if temporarily. Since Neji would get a portion of the profits, it could cover the missing costs for now.</p><p>Honestly, Neji and Kurenai hadn’t considered that to be an option, forgetting about the business deal they just entered. If Neji had a choice, he’d rather not endorse the Chinese merchant’s wares, but troops couldn’t be left without supplies. The army was human and wouldn’t be able to survive without them. Asuma was good, but he wasn’t a god.</p><p>“It’s a start,” Neji said. “But we should come up with a contingency plan as well.”</p><p>“Perhaps there are assets from my old master you can use. I will write out what I can remember for you.,” Tobi bowed.</p><p>Neji waved him away, not wanting to see him any longer. Tobi can write out a list in another room. “Kurenai, make me a list of people who had access to the account books.”</p><p>“Yes, my lo—”</p><p>The door opened, making Neji almost scowl that someone had entered without knocking once more. He was ready to sentence the misbehaving servant to be whipped, but Sugo’s trembling form entered, immediately getting onto his hands and knees, head pressed to the floor. “Master, forgive my insolence, but something has happened with the boy.”</p><p>The boy again. He wanted to push it to the side. He couldn’t keep dropping everything to attend every little need the boy demanded. This matter required his attention more than a stubborn child who refused to eat. Unfortunately, Kurenai and Uchiha were still present, and he would have to play along. “What happened?” he tried to sound vaguely interested, but all that came out was mild frustration and disinterest.</p><p>“The boy collapsed with a high fever. We summoned a doctor, but the doctor is not hopeful he will survive the night.”</p><p>Silence fell over the room as eyes were turned on him. Sugo was quivering on the floor with fear, and Neji was left with his advisors’ eyes on him. Neji himself wasn’t sure how to respond. The boy seemed fine yesterday. How had his health deteriorated so quickly?</p><p>“Why wasn’t I told about this sooner?”</p><p>“We tried to inform you earlier but…”</p><p>Realization dawned on Neji that that was what the servant from earlier had come to inform him of. Old man Sugo dared not to finish his sentence and place blame on Neji for his neglect.</p><p>Uchiha stood up and bowed to Neji. “We will take care of matters here, Hyuuga-sama. Your mate needs you.”</p><p>Did he, Neji thought distantly.</p><p>“I will leave matters to you.” Neji rose and bypassed Sugo who quickly got off the floor and followed Neji to the boy’s room. Neji walked quickly, requiring Sugo to have a slight jog to keep up.</p><p>The doctor was waiting for him outside the room, bowing to him as he arrived. “My lord,” he greeted.</p><p>“What is wrong with him?” Neji asked. The tone of his voice made the doctor shrink back.</p><p>“It is hard to tell,” the doctor replied, sweating under Neji’s scrutiny. “He is exhibiting signs of infection of the blood. When I try to touch him for a diagnosis, he gets too agitated and worsens his symptoms. I’m afraid if I pursue the matter too aggressively, it will irreversibly harm his health.”</p><p>So, it came down to that boy’s stubbornness again. “What can be done?”</p><p>“I am afraid that his body is already quite weakened. To reach such severity, he must have had a fever for the past couple of days. Medicine may not be enough to cure him. It will depend greatly on his will to live.”</p><p>“Has he taken the medicine?”</p><p>The look on the doctor’s face was enough to tell him the boy hadn’t.</p><p>He internally sighed. “Bring me the medicine.”</p><p>“Master,” another servant who had been assisting the doctor, extended a bowl to him. He’d have to think of a way to get the boy to drink it this time.</p><p>“It is late. Sugo-san, show the doctor to a guest room.”</p><p>He didn’t wait for Sugo to comply with his orders or give the doctor a chance to decline his hospitality and leave, entering the boy’s room.</p><p>The boy was laying in bed. His quick and short breaths and his elevated heartbeat reached Neji’s ears. Getting closer, Neji could see the sheen of sweat clinging to his pale skin. Just yesterday, the boy had been lively. He knew humans were frail, but he had forgotten how much so.</p><p>He kneeled next to the boy, looking over his body. His clothes were soaked with sweat. Looking around, he could see that a new yukata had been prepared for him and the servants had brought rags and water to clean him.</p><p>He looked at the boy, who was shivering non-stop under the thick blanket. He would need his clothes changed. Neji pulled down the blanket, seeing the fabric of his yukata opened and revealing his flushed body and rapidly rising and falling chest…</p><p>Changing clothes and washing others was beneath him, Neji decided, looking away. He called for Natsu and Haru to take care of it, keeping an eye on them as they worked. As the doctor said, the boy became semi-conscious, trying to fight his way out of their grip. His condition worsened temporarily, but the clothes needed to be changed else his chance of surviving would decrease.</p><p>Neji kept his eyes averted as his personal servants worked. It was only by chance that he saw a glimpse of the boy’s wrists, normally covered by the yukata’s sleeves. They were red and inflamed. The bandages that had been around them were soiled and had to have been days old. He could hardly smell the medicine that had once been on the wound.</p><p>He picked up the discarded bandages and went outside where Sugo waited. “Summon all the house servants to the courtyard,” he said in a chilling voice. Sugo didn’t need to be told twice. He dashed off to fulfill the command.</p><p>Neji stood waiting in silence, watching as the servants came one by one, all hurrying to get in line.</p><p>Haru and Natsu exited the room, kneeling on either side of Neji, slightly behind him rather than with the other servants.</p><p>Once Sugo confirmed everyone was accounted for, he spoke. “I have been too lenient of a master,” he said, looking over the staff varying from cooks to housemaids to stablemen. “I have placed my trust in all of you to manage my household and my guests, believing you were capable of representing me and my household, and yet, I find my trust has been misplaced.” The temperature around him, and subsequently the courtyard, dropped as his eyes narrowed. “Those in charge of the care of guests, step forward.”</p><p>Hesitation and fear rippled through the crowd. Eventually, 10 individuals step forward, forming a line in front of the other servants. Sugo stepped forward as the head of staff. “Apparently you want to make a mockery of me or is it that you see yourself above me in status and do not feel my guests deserve exemplary treatment.”</p><p>None of the servants spoke.</p><p>He raised the soil bandages for everyone to see. “Is someone brave enough to justify why an injured man’s bandages had not been changed since his arrival?” He threw them down in front of them. “Are you so busy that you do not have time even though he is my guest?”</p><p>A servant actually had the nerve to say something, mumbled and rushed out. Neji only had to give a look to a guard to have them slice her down. “The answer is, there is no excuse. If he was refusing care, it should have at the minimum been mentioned to me in the nightly report.”</p><p>“My lord. Please don’t be angry. It is my fault for being so negligent in my duties. Should he die, I am ready to pay for it with my life,” Sugo exclaimed. Neji knew it wasn’t a bluff. Sugo always took responsibility if something went wrong, and that was the problem.</p><p>“You were negligent and allowed this to happen,” Neji said. “But the others will not escape punishment this time. All of you will be sent to the shadow guard for your punishment for 5 days. Sugo-san, your sentence is 10. If you feel this is unfair, speak. I will release you from my employment immediately.”</p><p>Silence reigned over the courtyard.</p><p>“All of you have a duty and reputation to maintain. I expect excellence, perfection, and loyalty. No one should assume my will or direction. If they are my guest, unless I say otherwise, they should be treated as if you are serving me. If you are incapable, do not expect for me to be forgiving or understanding. Is that clear?”</p><p>“Yes, Master.” All the servants yelled with vigor, all of them bowing.</p><p>“Get out of my sight.”</p><p>They all rose, moving to go back to their duties, trying to leave as quickly as possible without drawing attention to themselves and incurring Neji’s wrath.</p><p>“Haru, Natsu, find people to take over the house staff’s duties in the meantime. I will call if I need you.”</p><p>“Yes, Master,” they chimed.</p><p>Neji returned to the boy’s room, leaning heavily against the door briefly. He was overreacting, wasn’t he? It wasn’t like he cared about the boy’s health. He knew the servants picked up on his distaste for the boy. They knew how to interpret his mood and his will. This was not any different. They knew, and they followed. So why did he feel so annoyed?</p><p>The boy was still lying in bed, now washed, changed, and bandaged. The bowl of medicine was still waiting at the bedside, untouched.</p><p>Slowly, Neji moved back to the boy’s bedside, sitting down beside him. If this boy didn’t make it, would he feel anything?  Since the boy’s arrival, his previously muted emotions started to be geared towards annoyance and frustration. He didn’t want the boy here in the first place, so how was he supposed to feel anything positive towards him.</p><p>Carefully, he slipped a hand under the boy’s head, sitting him up in his arms and picked up the medicine bowl with the other. The boy’s head rested against his Neji’s body, feeling the short, hot puffs of air against his chest as the boy struggled to breathe.</p><p>He brought the bowl to the boy’s lips, but the boy immediately clamped them closed, spilling some down the corners of the boy’s mouth.</p><p>Was he really going to continue being stubborn in this state, Neji thought annoyed. After everything, the boy was still trying to reject the medication.</p><p>Fine, if the boy was going to be like that…</p><p>Neji dumped the medicine into his mouth. With a glare, he gripped the boy’s jaw, forcing his mouth to open. Neji stopped thinking at that moment. If he didn’t, he would not have been able to bring his mouth to the boy’s. Carefully, he transferred the medicine, little by little, forcing the boy to drink it.</p><p>The boy put up a little fight at first, weakly pressing against Neji’s chest, but as the doctor said, the boy quickly wore himself out. With no other choice, the boy drank.</p><p>Neji pulled away, seeing the boy’s half-lidded eyes, flushed face, and short breath. His hair was already sticking to his sweaty skin. He looked absolutely miserable. Neji cleaned the corners of the boy’s mouth with his thumb. The boy’s lips were dry and chapped, but they were still soft. Very soft.</p><p>He laid the boy back down. With the boy’s earlier struggling, he had no strength left, lingering on the border of consciousness.</p><p>At the very least, he was able to administer the medicine. Everything else from now on was up to the boy.</p><p> Neji allowed himself to sigh, running his fingers through his hair. He should get back to fixing that problem with the account books. He attempted to get up, but the boy’s tight grip on his sleeve stopped him. The boy looked at him, his eyes tearing.</p><p>“Al-baqaa,” he whispered. His voice was rough and scratchy, and lower than what Neji had thought it would be. “Arjok la tegader.”</p><p>Neji couldn’t understand the words, but he could tell that the boy was begging. He was holding onto his sleeve as tightly as he could with his weak grip. His eyes showed fear and vulnerability. “Al-baqaa,” he whispered again.</p><p>“So you can speak,” he replied, sitting back down. The moment Neji settled, the boy weakly turned onto his side and pressed his head against Neji’s knee, curling up like a small, scared child.  “You wouldn’t be like this if you had just taken your medicine.”</p><p>The boy didn’t speak again. He had fallen asleep with tears streaming down his cheeks, still tightly holding onto Neji’s clothes. If he wanted to, he could have pried the boy’s hands away from him. It was nearing morning and there was much work that still had to be done.  However, seeing the boy’s sleeping face, he left it alone. Uchiha and the others were more than capable. If the boy was going to have a chance at surviving, he was going to have to watch over him personally. There was no other choice.</p><p>Neji settled in for the long day, letting the boy hold onto him. As long as it was just one night, it should be okay. Just one night.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The boy fought against death for three days. With a burning fever, the boy teetered between consciousness and dreams, suffering nightmares and hallucinations. He would mutter things, cling tightly onto the closest person, and he would cry. Silently, he would cry.</p><p>  Neji stayed by his side, changing the cloth to keep his fever down and giving his medicine when it was time. In the end, Neji moved his work into the room, so he could do both, but found himself stealing glances whenever the boy made a move or an irregular sound. He didn’t get as much work done as he would have liked.</p><p>On the fourth day, the boy’s fever declined, and he regained consciousness, tired but out of danger. He ate very little, barely a small cup of broth, and a small bowl rice porridge and slept for the rest of the day.</p><p>By the fifth day, he was sitting up weakly and trying to move around. Neji would not let him, forcing him to keep resting and regain his strength. There was also a small struggle in getting him to take his medicine, but he did eventually take it. The sixth day was similar with the boy being a little more active.</p><p>By the seventh, the boy was restless. Neji still wouldn’t let him walk around. The doctor had yet to clear him and suggested another two or three days of rest. Neji did not wish to repeat this experience, so he was determined to make sure the boy followed orders. He also made sure that the boy’s bandages were properly changed, noting how the deep rope burns on the boy’s wrists and ankles would likely scar even with the medicine. He also noticed early on that the boy was more obedient when he was the one caring for him compared to the doctor or other servants; however, Neji refused to clean the boy, having the servants do it. He did stay to keep an eye on them, ensuring they did a thorough job each time.</p><p>Since the boy was having difficulties sitting still, Neji allowed him to write from his futon. For a while, the boy appeared to compose a letter, writing horizontally from right to left. It was strange, but unlike before, it appeared the boy had figured out how to properly use the brush and keep the ink from running. His inexperience with a brush showed, but from the way he wrote with confidence, it was clear the boy was educated in his country and could write, making him wonder why he was so unfamiliar with the brush. When he finished that, he moved onto practicing hiragana and katakana.</p><p>Neji kept glancing up, watching the boy work. The boy was quite diligent in his studies.</p><p>“Master,” a servant spoke through the rice paper door. “You have a visitor.”</p><p>“It can wait,” Neji replied, leaning over and correcting a hiragana with his own brush, earning consternation from the boy whose eyebrows furrowed. “Send them away.”</p><p>“I cannot,” the servant replied with a little vibrato in his voice.</p><p>Neji’s eyebrows drew together. “Is it him?”</p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>Neji placed the brush down, getting to his feet and quickly exiting the room. “Tell him, I am getting dressed and will be with him soon. Serve him while he waits.”</p><p>Haru and Natsu were at his side, following him back to his room to get properly dressed. Natsu put his hair into a top knot as Haru went to retrieve his swords. It had been some time since he wore his swords in his own home. He rarely acted the part of daimyo. He had Toriyama for that, but there was always a danger when meeting this particular guest.</p><p>Haru and Natsu prepared him in record time. Neji was off to meet his guest in the receiving room the moment they were finished.</p><p>His guest was who he thought it was. An ethereal being humans would feel breathless seeing. Snow white skin. Long silver hair. Crystal clear, blue-green eyes that reminded one of water. And a tall slender frame. The clothes he wore were draping, with overly large sleeves and long draping haori that would trail behind him when he walked. He was the type that could easily be mistaken for a man or woman.</p><p>“Seiryu-sama,” Neji bowed. “My apologies for keeping you waiting.”</p><p>“No need for your apologies. News of your mate being ill reached my ears. It is only natural you would be at their side.” The being said with a small smile. No matter how you looked at him, human form or not, Seiryu could not hide the fact he was not human. “Sit,” he motioned as if he was the owner of the house and Neji but a guest.</p><p>Neji sat across from him, moving to pour the wine for the man across from him. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”</p><p>“Always quick to hurry a conversation,” the man gently chided. “If you try to hurry everything, you will be left with nothing.”</p><p>Rather than keep his head held high, he kept his head slightly tilted down, almost in a submissive gesture. “Forgive me. My mind is not quite with me.”</p><p>The god smiled. “I heard that your kind is drawn to their mates and that its effects are inescapable. For someone as cold as you, worrying about someone else, I think I may believe it.”  </p><p>Neji decided not to correct him.</p><p>Seiryu finished his cup setting it down on the tray that Neji went to refill. “Since your mind is muddled with other thoughts, I will keep this visit short. It is time for me to accept a bride.”</p><p>Another one? It had only been 15 years since the last one. Choosing a sacrifice was always a headache. Trying to convince a family to give up their daughter willingly was never easy. Furthermore, it meant a lack or excessive amounts of rain, deaths on the water, and other “warnings” to alert the humans that the water god was angry with them. Seiryu only came to warn him so that Neji could minimize the death that came with it.</p><p>“Did you have a woman in mind?” Neji always asked to be polite. Every time, the god would just leave the decision up to Neji, making Neji’s life harder. He would have to look at every family that had a daughter, try to determine which one was the most beautiful and had a decent personality, see if the parents had another child to at least soften the blow of their sacrifice. It was always a headache. It didn’t even include the compensation that had to be prepared and the etiquette lessons she would need when serving in the realm of gods.</p><p>“For once, yes.” The answer took Neji by surprise. After 175 years, the god had never had a preference. He rarely came on land. Even the god coming to his house was not very usual. Normally, he would send a white snake to summon him to the water, rather than the god coming up the mountain.</p><p>“She must be a beauty to capture Seiryu-sama’s attention.”</p><p>Seiryu chuckled. “She is an unparalleled beauty, but beauty holds little interest to me. I have had beautiful brides before. This woman… she is unlike any woman I have ever seen.” His eyes glazed over with memories, his face filling with reverence. “I only saw her once on my shores. A man was handling her roughly, trying to force himself on her. Rather than cry and beg, she fought back with smooth and elegant movements that were more dazzling than any dance. Such a cold and fearsome beauty, not unlike snow. She appeared so fragile and beautiful but was quite deadly and unforgiving.”</p><p>“It will be this servant’s pleasure to help find your bride. Are there any clues to this mysterious woman?”</p><p>The lord smiled into his cup before drinking it and having Neji refill it. “A silver gaze as sharp as ice. Hair as black as the darkest night. A face as smooth and flawless like a doll, but as exquisite as a painting. Conservative moments that hide a lively and agile body adept at fighting.” He stopped, caught by surprise by his own description before he laughed. “I am wondering if she was really human. She sounds more like a faerie than a human with the description I am offering.”</p><p>Indeed, it did not sound like anyone from his town. A woman so flawless would stand out, especially the silver eyes. That was more of a trait of one of his kind when they were near their mate. There were no humans with such an eye color, but his kind did, and at first glance, a vampire and human had little difference. A god like Seiryu would not be able to tell them apart.</p><p>“I do not know of any woman by this description, but I will do my best to find her. How long before we must go through with the ceremony?”</p><p>“As long as it takes to find her, of course.”</p><p>“Of course,” Neji smiled politely, but inwardly he cursed. If they could not find this woman, the town would suffer. Hopefully, if it came to that, the god would take a substitute.</p><p>He didn’t ask what would happen if they could not find her. Nothing good, that was for certain. With any luck, this mystery girl would be found quickly.</p><p>“Now that matter was dealt with, I have heard from my brother that you opened an interesting establishment. I was skeptical at first, but as I am to be married soon, perhaps I should take a visit. We can enjoy a dinner together with your wife.”</p><p>Neji almost choked, quickly recovering. “I do not believe it is a place to bring one’s lover.”</p><p>“She is a foreigner, correct? It is just dinner and entertainment. At least there, she would not have to worry about hiding herself while we dine.”</p><p>“I am worried he is too weak to attend something so excitable right now. He is still recovering,” Neji tried again.</p><p>“Then in a week then. That should be enough time to recover.”</p><p>Neji gritted his teeth, trying to think of a way out of it.</p><p>“I understand,” Seiryu said. “You want to keep her hidden away but let me give you a word of advice from experience. Keeping them locked up like a bird will only lead to a lifeless bird. You will only end up watching them fade from your suffocating hold.” He drank the rest of his alcohol and stood. “Next week, I will see you there, with your wife. I hope to hear good news about your search by then.”</p><p>Neji sent him off personally, maintaining a high level of respect as he did so. AS the god left, he thought of the boy. He should have known Seiryu would find out about the boy. Seiryu could move from the human and spiritual realm as he pleased. Any one of his servants could have snuck in and heard rumors about the boy.  </p><p>Seiryu was the one who agreed to allow him to start a town here and helped him fend off invading armies with changing tides and weather. Neji was so far into Seiryu’s debt, he could hold no complaints against any inconvenience Seiryu threw at him. Though it was troublesome that he was Kurama’s brother. Now, if something happened to Uzumaki Naruto, Seiryu would become an enemy as well.</p><p>Neji walked back into the manor, thinking about what the god had said. The god had mistaken his reluctance to take the boy out for love, rather than embarrassment.  How could that god understand? With a wave of his hand, the seas raged. Everyone had to show him respect regardless of what he did. Neji’s position was fragile. He knew that.</p><p>Still, he knew he wouldn’t be able to convince the god from his decision. He would have to bring the boy. He would have to talk to the tutor and tell him to focus on etiquette extensively for the next week.</p><p>He was walking towards the gardens, planning to stretch his legs a little before going back to the room, when he saw the boy in the large koi pond, struggling to get out even with even the help of a shadow guard. The water was barely above his shoulder, but the clothes weighed him down as he tried to get out, relying on the guard for help, grasping onto him tightly as he was pulled out.</p><p>Neji’s pace quickened, his expression becoming stormy. “What happened?” he demanded, kneeling at the boy’s side. The boy was on his knees, shivering. Neji took off his haori, draping it around the boy’s shoulders, trying to keep him warm.</p><p>“The young master went for a walk while you were entertaining Seiryu-sama. He had a dizzy spell when looking at the koi and fell in,” the guard filled in.</p><p>Neji clenched his jaw. The guards were there to keep things like this from happening. How could they let him fall in when he was already so weak?</p><p>Neji helped him sit, noticing as the boy moved that he had hurt his ankle. He helped him sit on a large rock, dismissing the guard so he could examine the boy’s ankle. With a gentle touch, he lifted the boy’s foot, running his hands over the skin, feeling for any swelling.</p><p>The boy inhaled sharply when he applied pressure. It looked to just be a minor sprain, but it would still need to be wrapped. He pulled out his hair tie, letting his hair fall and used the tie to wrap the ankle. “You should be more careful,” he said quietly. “You are only a human.”</p><p> </p><p>The boy watched him attend to his foot. He was looking at Neji with those big green eyes. What was the point of scolding him when the boy clearly didn’t understand? At least the boy didn’t fight anymore whenever Neji touched him. He was being quite obedient these days.</p><p>“Gaara.”</p><p>Neji’s head shot up with surprise. Besides the few whispered words spoken during his fever dreams, the boy hadn’t spoken a single word.  </p><p>“Gaara,” he repeated softly, pointing at himself.</p><p>A name. Neji realized.</p><p>“Gaara,” he repeated. He pointed to himself, “Hyuuga Neji.”</p><p>“Ne…ji?” There was uncertainty in his voice as he said the foreign name. His accent was harsh, but it wasn’t grating on the ears.  It sounded kind of pleasant. “Neji?”</p><p>Neji’s heart skipped a beat, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. When was the last time someone called him by his given name?</p><p>He cleared his throat, looking away. “It’s Hyuuga Neji,” he tried to correct him. He probably didn’t understand honorifics and propriety. “You should say Hyuuga-sama or Hyuuga-san.” Even adding “kun” would have been more appropriate than going yobisute.</p><p>“Neji,” the boy said louder.</p><p>“Yeah…” he said quietly.</p><p>Gaara smiled a little. The boy’s cheeks were starting to flush. Worried he was getting sick again, Neji picked up the boy into his arm. They needed to change his clothes. The boy, no Gaara, was startled, grasping onto his clothes. Neji’s lips twitched into almost a smirk. He really was a child compared to him, wasn’t he?</p><p>Carrying him back to the room, he put him back on the futon, calling Haru and Natsu to help provide him with fresh clothes and to help change into them. The little excitement must have tired the boy out as he fell asleep soon after. Neji continued doing work in that room, watching as the boy slept occasionally.</p><p>The boy was troublesome, and he didn’t listen. He was also stubborn for no reason, but overall, Neji was beginning to think he could have been given worse.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So yes, Seiryu says she and Neji says he. Japanese is a gender-neutral language, so unless it is specified, Seiryu would not know Neji was referring to a boy. It doesn't help that subjects are often dropped in sentences in Japanese and often say names rather than "he" or "she". So rather than saying "Is she a foreigner?" The more direct translation would be, "Foreigner?" Thus why both can use the pronouns they want without the other noticing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Diary Entry 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I’ve lost how many days I have been here. This past week, I have lost time.  My illness suddenly worsened, and I had lost consciousness. I only remember bits and pieces, and I am unsure what was a dream and what was not. In one dream, that servant brought his lips to mine. That servant… I do not know what to make of him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Since fallen ill, he has been at my side. Whenever I open my eyes, he is there, tending to me. I know it is his job, but I cannot help but be affected by his attention. My servants in the past were appointed by my father. They never cared for me and worked on his orders. They have even harmed me in the past, and I could say nothing about it. Sometimes, I think this servant, paid to take care of me by a rich foreigner, has taken care of me more than my own family, well, minus you, brother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This past week I have learned much about him. I do not think he is a simple house servant. He doesn’t touch me or help me change, and at night, I see him working. House accounts perhaps. Maybe the head servant by the way he directs some of the others, but he works only at night. When I awoke during the day, I would catch him sleeping, sitting against the wall. He has nightmares sometimes. He never makes a sound during them, but I can tell they affect his mood when he wakes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>During the day, if he happens to wake because of me, he is overly groggy, barely functioning almost. Seeing his habits, he must only work nights. It explains why he only came to me at night before. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s because of this servant that I began trying to learn the language. It is difficult. Nothing here is recognizable. From the way they write to the way they act, it is overwhelming. The servants don’t talk to me and the tutor who is trying to teach me is an idiot. This servant who cares for me is patient and takes things slow enough for me to figure out parallels to my own language and things I am familiar with. If I can communicate with him, maybe I can bring him to my side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He seemed eager to teach me. I have learned many words from him in his short lessons, and he’s corrected my writings even while he was working. Maybe it is his genuine interest in my learning is what made me give my name to him. I wanted him to know. It’s been a long time since someone called me by my name. I have not seen you in so long, brother, I was beginning to forget what my name sounded like.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I did manage to leave my room to verify more of my surroundings. The grounds are much bigger than I had thought. The courtyard was just a small part. There is a mountain behind the house and a large pond with a sheltered structure in the center with a bridge leading to it. The manor is nowhere near as big as the palace, but the amount of land would lead me to believe it is no commoner’s house. I have never seen so much greenery. It does not compare to the gardens in the palace, but this was more natural. More alive. With exotic flowers and large colorful fish.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I admit I was careless and fell in. I had not recovered as much as I had thought and moved too quickly trying to examine the unusual fish. I do not know where the person who helped me out came from. When I fell, there had been no one around me, but he had appeared the moment I fell. The water was much deeper than I had thought, and I struggled to get out. I am ashamed to admit but I am was still too weak to pull myself out. The dizziness I had experienced had not yet left me and I was left disoriented. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Somehow, that servant knew of my predicament and was at my side the moment I was in trouble, yelling at the man who helped me. He must be a high-ranking servant. The man seemed wary of his anger and left us. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do not know why I allowed the next thing to happen. I do not like people touching me. Too many people have hurt me in the past to allow just anyone to attend to me, yet, I think I trust him. He was the only one to think I was afraid of poison and tested it for me. The one to stay by my side while I was vulnerable. I have come to trust him enough to accept the drugs they have given me. Now, I allow him to touch my person as he used his own clothing to wrap my foot. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>With his hair down, he could pass as a woman. It is a shame he is not. He has a strong but gentle touch, and even disheveled, he still projects grace. If he was a woman, if I was able to escape, I would have taken him as my second wife and saved him from the simple life of a servant. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji. It’s a nice name. I hope one day I will be in a position to reward him for his help.  And though he cannot pronounce my name well, I like hearing him say it. Maybe… know that he knows it, he will say it more often.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Many Blessings,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gaara</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for the comments, they help me continue on.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. First Outing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thankfully, the next two days went without incident. Neji ensured the boy rested, and once the doctor said he would make a full recovery, Neji was able to return to his office and fully concentrate on his work to deal with the embezzlement problem.</p><p>With time now short, Neji spent the next week making the arrangements needed to ensure the money and supplies his troops needed were procured. His nights were long, leading well into the day several times, but he still made time to visit the boy, Gaara.</p><p>While Neji was busy working, the boy was seeing his tutor once more during the day. So when Neji went to see him at night to ensure he was taking his medication, he would also supplement the boy’s language learning. The boy hid it at first, but he had pages and pages of practiced writing. The boy was working hard, though he hadn’t spoken since sharing his name.</p><p>Neji, being as busy as he was, would sometimes work while eating with the boy. Gaara took an interest in his work, looking at the scrolls, books, and abacus he was using to calculate funds. He had taught the boy basic numbers a few days prior, showing him the kanji for the one through ten, hundred, and thousand. A total of 12 kanji.</p><p>Neji ignored the boy’s observations for the most part, though he wondered what was so interesting in watching him work. He made a few calculations, shaking his head when he was still a little short. The boy snorted as if he was amused by something. Neji raised an eyebrow, but the boy didn’t make another sound, so Neji continued.</p><p>He was only pulled away briefly, having to inspect the goods they had purchased that arrived earlier than expected. When he returned, the boy was in his futon sound asleep. It was late, so he wasn’t surprised. He was surprised to see a scroll full of numbers next to his account book. At first, he thought it was just the boy’s practiced numbers, but he saw that his abacus had been touched and the pages in his account book had been turned to a different page.</p><p>Out of curiosity, as he returned to his calculations, he compared the numbers he calculated with the number on the boy’s scroll, finding them to match. He had only been gone briefly. How had the boy calculated things in such a short period of time?</p><p>It made him curious as to how the boy’s lessons were going, so the next day he called for the tutor to speak with him personally. The tutor was received in his office where he was finishing up a letter to send to Asuma onto the battlefield as the rest of the supplies were just about ready to ship out.</p><p>Mizuki smiled too widely, bowing incessantly as he entered the room. “My lord. I hope you are doing well.”</p><p>Neji ignored him, reading over the letter one last time. It did not stop the man’s mouth, doing his best to suck up to him and earn his favor. “I cannot help but be amazed at your kindness. Not many people of your stature would take the time to help someone less fortunate as you have. It is inspiring. You are the true embodiment of Buddha.”</p><p>“How are Gaara-san’s lessons coming along?” Neji was in no mood to listen to empty flattery. The boy’s lessons were just a mild curiosity and wanted to know how much longer before they could properly communicate with him.</p><p>“Gaa...ra…san?” Mizuki repeated with confusion.</p><p>Neji glanced up, making the tutor nervous. “The boy’s name.”</p><p>The scholar awkwardly laughed. “Of course. Of course. Forgive me, I misunderstood. It is going as well as it is to be expected of one of his stature.”</p><p>Neji had been busy stamping the letter with his inkan, but the scholar had managed to garner his full attention. “His stature?”</p><p>“Well, he is a savage foreigner. You must understand that they are not as bright as us civilized people. Think of him like the Ainu barbarians in the north. Basic and happy to live in ignorance. Changing their nature is quite difficult.”</p><p>Neji’s stare turned icy. “I see,” he said. “And what progress, if any, have you made with him?”</p><p>“Simple things, my lord. He is unfortunately not smart enough to learn how to hold chopsticks properly, let alone show any shame. Teaching a mute how to communicate on top of the etiquette lessons is quite the challenge.”</p><p>Neji hid his frown behind his hand. “You are the best scholar in this town?”</p><p>“That’s what they say, but really, they praise me too much,” he laughed, clearly believing he was deserving of the title.</p><p>“I also think they praise you too much.” Neji’s words cut off the grating laugh. “Tell me, Mizuki-sensei, if I handed you a book of accounts, on average, how long would it take you to do the calculations?”</p><p>“Uh, well, it would depend on the complexity of the accounts and how long it is—”</p><p>“That boy, who you call an uneducated savage, managed to do half a book of calculation within two sticks of incense, while it took me nearly twice as long.  I had taught him only the kanji for numbers. What would that indicate to you, Sensei?”</p><p>The man stumbled over his words. “Well, there could be many explanations. It could be coincidence or luck,” he started, but Neji cut him off.</p><p>“I am not a scholar. I do not spend my time with books or bother with things not related to my daily needs, but even I, with just the information I have told you, would be able to come to the conclusion the boy is not as simple as you believed and that he has received some sort of education. Arithmetic is not learned in a day. There is no luck or coincidence involved. To fall back on such excuses just tells me how foolish you are in your desperate attempt to save your honor.”</p><p>“My lord, there is just a misunderstanding—”</p><p>“Misunderstanding?” Neji said. “You could not even consider the fact I knew his name. If he cannot write, how else would he be able to tell me other than speaking it? And yet you continued to tell me that he was dumb and lacked the ability. Then proceeded to try to insinuate that you will need more money to accommodate his disability.”</p><p>Now fully panicking the tutor bowed, prostrating himself on the floor. “No! My lord, I wouldn’t dare try to extort money from you. I truly thought he was a mute.”</p><p>“A full day of teaching for a week, and you learned little from or about your student. I am now certain the only things he has learned and studied were things I taught him in passing. I have wasted my gold on a swindler.”</p><p>“Forgive me, my lord. I made a mistake. Give me another chance. I will do better,” the tutor pleaded.</p><p>Neji didn’t want to hear anymore. “Escort him out,” he said dismissively, putting the letter he had been working on into an envelope.  The guards came in to take him away, the scholar shamelessly begging for another chance.</p><p>Wasted time and gold. If he had known it was to be like that, he would have sent Nara to tutor him instead. The meeting with Seiryu was to be tomorrow, and the boy had yet to learn etiquette. Was he going to be okay with how things were going?</p><p>“Hyuuga-sama, may I enter?” Nara’s asked quietly from outside the door.</p><p>“You may.”</p><p>Nara entered, closing the door behind him. “I take it the tutor was not to your liking?” he asked.</p><p>“Get to the point of your visit, Nara-san,” he replied, pulling out another paper and preparing to write another letter. “I have other matters to attend to before sunrise.”</p><p>Nara took the cold shoulder in stride, not commenting on Neji’s changed behavior towards him the past couple weeks. “All issues have been sorted out with the supplies, and they are ready to go with your orders.”</p><p>“I see. You are dismissed.”</p><p>Nara didn’t leave. He lingered, staring at Neji for a long time. “If you are busy, I can find a tutor for the boy.”</p><p>Neji eyed him with suspicion. “You think you can find someone better when Sugo-san could not?”</p><p>“You told Sugo-san to find the best scholar. The best tutor may not be a scholar at all.”</p><p>Neji’s lips thinned. Nara taking an interest in the boy set him on edge. He still had not figured out what Nara was up to, if he was up to anything at all. For someone who often tried to get out of his work, volunteering for it was odd. “Do you have someone in mind?”</p><p>“Not quite. I heard of some potential candidates, but I am not confident enough to recommend them. With your permission, I would like to look further into it.”</p><p>“What benefit do you receive for doing so?</p><p>Nara, with a steady gaze, replied, “He’s a foreigner from a land I do not know of. Are you not curious about what tales he holds?” His explanation fitted well with Nara’s personality who had always been curious about the lands outside their borders. He just wasn’t sure if that was the only reason. “Alright. I will leave the search in your hands.”</p><p>Nara bowed, showing his respects before leaving, Neji’s eyes on him. This may be a chance to see if Nara was up to something. He would have his shadow guards follow him, but he did not believe they would find anything on him. Nara was smart and would know he was being watched. However, there was always a chance he would slip up. If not, he may at least gain a competent tutor for the boy.</p><p>Thinking of the boy, he hoped some of the etiquette lessons had sunk in. Out of all his allies he did not wish to lose or offend, it was Seiryu. But just in case….</p><p>Neji got up, ordering the servants to prepare a meal and to bring it to the boy’s room. It wouldn’t hurt to get a little more practice in.</p>
<hr/><p>In the end, he was unable to get the boy to use chopsticks, but as time was up, he just fed the boy before they left, hoping he wouldn’t eat or at the least eat less while they were out.</p><p>He overlooked the boy’s preparation. Rather than a yukata, they put him in grey kimono and dark blue haori, and carefully tied up his thick, red hair. Neji was dressed more formally with a montsuki kimono and hakama rather than his preferred yukata. He held his fan in his hands, occasionally using it to direct the servants as his mind wandered elsewhere.</p><p>The major problem was the boy’s face. It would draw attention in town. The best they could do was put a bamboo hat on him and have the boy keep his head down to obscure his face. They were also going to walk with others around them to help keep the boy hidden from the eyes of others. Honestly, Seiryu’s request was more troublesome than the request suggested.</p><p>The boy kept giving him questioning glances but no longer fought Haru and Natsu as long as Hyuuga was present. It seemed he had established some sort of trust with the boy. It would make some things easier going forward. If he could, he would tell the boy for the shock that was to come.</p><p>Before they left, Natsu brought Neji’s katana, taking a knee as he presented them. The boy grew tense at seeing them. Neji took them, securing them to his side.</p><p>As the gates outside the manor opened, the boy grew anxious. It was subtle, but he was walking close to Neji as the guards surrounded them. The guards were skilled in helping them blend in. Dressed casually like the boy, they talked amongst themselves and with Neji, giving the appearance of a group of good friends. Entering town, their formation closed in to obscure the boy from everyone’s view with the lights from the lanterns lighting the streets.</p><p>The boy didn’t look around, keeping his head down.  It seemed he was aware of his situation to some degree or at least picked up what they were trying to do.</p><p>His eyes would sometimes wander outside the circle, but he couldn’t see much with his head down.</p><p>It was a relief when they entered the tea house. The guards blocked the entrance, feigning conversation with the servers as Neji and the boy descended into the heavenly palace. The boy once again grew nervous, slowly putting distance between them. He wondered what was going on in that head of his.</p><p>The girls bowed to him as usual, greeting him. Mama-san and two other girls escorted them into the heavenly house. The girls didn’t ogle at the foreigner at his side. Perhaps they thought he was a demon or god, so they didn’t question it. As they walked past the entrance, the boy’s eyes grew large.</p><p>Sooner or later, the boy would have to be introduced to this world. The world of the supernatural. While most of the patrons took a human-like appearance with the occasional tail, extra eyes, or fangs showing, some did not bother with a human appearance at all or did the bare minimum. A giant frog, dressed similar to Neji, sat as a human would, drinking his sake and laughing as a girl entertained him, and a demon with a head made of natto with a human body that would barely reach Neji’s knee in height was chasing one of the girls in a playful manner.</p><p>In general, this place attracted higher level gods, demons, and spirits, and even with a human appearance, their leaking power still filled the underground space and could be overwhelming for normal humans.</p><p>As they walked, the boy, who had put distance between them, closed it. A single hand discretely grabbed hold onto Neji’s sleeve and standing close. He didn’t tremble or looked frightened otherwise, just that small reassurance that Neji was by his side. He was handling the shock quite well.</p><p>They were brought to a VIP room where Neji took a seat, breaking the contact between them. The boy hesitated, seeing how Neji was sitting and soon copied, sitting in seiza as well. He was grateful the boy was quick to learn what Neji desired from him and that he was behaving. If it could last for the rest of the evening, they may get through this without any harm to Neji’s reputation.</p><p>They waited a short while for Seiryu to arrive, the boy was unnaturally stiff, but his eyes kept gazing out to the doorway that would overlook the stage below. The music of the koto was drifting in and the boy’s attention kept drawing to it. As the boy squirmed from the uncomfortable seating position, Neji turned a blind eye, letting the boy slowly get more comfortable and get closer to the balcony. It was better to let him sate his curiosity now than when Seiryu was here.</p><p>Seiryu did eventually arrive. Neji stood to show him the proper respect. Hearing the door open, the boy came back to Neji’s side, watching Neji’s movements.</p><p>Neji bowed, “Greetings, Seiryu-sama. I hope your trip was comfortable.”</p><p>“Hyuuga-san,” the deity smiled at Neji but did not bow back. As expected, his eyes drifted to the boy at his side. The god’s eyes held quiet curiosity, but he never lost his small smile, keeping his inhumane composure and grace. “My trip was pleasant. I brought gifts, to make up for my lack of one during our last encounter.”  A servant beside Seiryu stepped forward with a box.</p><p>“There was no need. Your presence itself was more of a blessing than any earthly possession.” Even so, one of the girls who had been serving Neji stepped forward to accept the gift on his behalf.</p><p>With pleasantries out of the way, Seiryu asked, “Is this the mate I heard rumors about?”</p><p>He was hoping Seiryu wouldn’t ask, but it appeared even Seiryu could not hold his curiosity back.</p><p>“Yes…” Neji admitted, hiding his reluctance.</p><p>Seiryu turned his attention to the boy, bowing his head only slightly, showing minimal, but some, respect. “Good evening. I am Seiryu, god of water and representation of spring and the east.”</p><p>The boy was quiet for a moment, and Neji was about to answer for him when the boy hesitantly and awkwardly bowed his head back, mimicking Neji’s earlier movements, though he did not bow as far. He looked very clumsy, but what he said made everyone forget his potentially offensive greeting. “Hyuuga…Gaara.”</p><p>The room went silent. Neji was staring wide-eyed, at a lost for words. Why would he introduce himself like that?</p><p> The god, recovering first, laughed softly. In the entire time, he had known the god, he had never laughed. A polite, soft chuckle, but never a laugh. “I see your relationship is quite good.”</p><p>“Forgive him, my lord,” Neji quickly went into a deep bow. “He is still learning. He only knows a few words and still lacks manners. He means no harm.”</p><p>“No harm was done,” the god dismissed the offense, his eyes still a little amused. “He is a foreigner, yes?”</p><p>“He is.”</p><p>Seiryu gestured for Neji to take a seat. Neji did, signaling for the boy to do the same. Seiryu sat across from him, still studying the boy. Seiryu often didn’t take an interest in things, but the boy had once again stolen his attention.</p><p>“I have seen people like him before. Not many. They were traders farther west, past the borders of China and well beyond my territory.”</p><p>Land beyond China? While Neji knew they existed, it was not something he thought about often. China and Korea were really the only outsiders that mattered. What did he care about other small countries?</p><p>“We still do not know where he has come from. He was nothing more than goods, brought to us by Chinese merchants. Bringing him here was quite difficult.”</p><p>“I do apologize for the inconvenience. If I had known he was a foreigner, I would not have suggested to bring him. My conscience would never be at ease if something were to have happened to your mate in the process.”</p><p>“It fills my heart with joy that you are concerned for his safety. I will make sure to be worthy of that concern and find the woman you seek as quickly as I am able.”</p><p>The god’s face fell a little, a minuscule change, showing his disappointment. “You still have not found her?”</p><p>“It is only a matter of time,” Neji assured him.</p><p>The conversation drifted to idle gossip, talking about superficial things until the food arrived. The boy was trying not to shift with discomfort, his legs obviously falling asleep. Food distracted him from that discomfort momentarily, and to his surprise, the boy was eating with the chopsticks. He would drop the food occasionally but considering Neji had not even seen him touch the utensil, it was good enough. Whenever the boy dropped the food, his face would darken as if cursing the food, but at least he wasn’t eating with his hands.</p><p>Finally, once the food was consumed, they could talk more about business-related activities. Neji always disliked that part of meetings. He always felt disingenuous when forced to ask about things he could not care less about. It was a waste of his time and the time of the person he was talking to, but he did it, remaining civil and feigning interest. He had a feeling Seiryu also disliked it, but there was no evidence to support the claim. Seiryu always acted as he should. Polite yet with an air that showed he thought he was above humans but not in an offensive way. He was not human, and he did not try to act or pretend to think like one.</p><p>The boy kept glancing at the balcony, obviously wanting to go back. He was like a child.</p><p>“Let the boy go. There is no reason to keep him involved in a conversation he cannot partake in.”</p><p>Neji was hesitant to allow him to do so, wondering If this was a test to harm his reputation. Seiryu, with that ever present smile, gained the boy’s attention and waved his hand to the balcony. The boy hesitated but did take the chance, going back to his spot at the balcony.</p><p>“Thank you for your kindness, Seiryu-sama. I will have him better trained the next time we meet.”</p><p>“You overthink. He is well trained in his own way. His first glimpse outside the human realm, and he is rather composed. A little timid perhaps, but he is not suffocated by the powers of the beings occupying this space.  To have such strong mental fortitude at his young age, he must have led a difficult life.”</p><p>“It seems I have learned something. I’ll keep your advice in mind in the future.”</p><p>Seiryu drank from his cup. “The child aside, there was a reason I wished to see you tonight.”</p><p>“Did you discover something?” Neji asked.</p><p>“Perhaps.”</p><p>The unlikely answer had Neji sit up straighter. “Please, Seiryu-sama, tell me all that you know.”</p><p>“As I mentioned, I do not know if this information will help you, but I heard rumors of someone matching the description you gave near the shogunate. Rumor is she is his mistress, but there has been no evidence or even someone to back the informer’s words.”</p><p>“What of any news about a man with her?”</p><p>Seiryu shook his head. “Just the woman.”</p><p>It may be her, but he had been given dead ends before. The only solace was that it was Seiryu telling him this. Seiryu wouldn’t give information unless it was thoroughly examined, and he was certain the rumor had validity to it. Unfortunately, the one he was truly looking for still had not been seen. Was that person dead after all? Was he just chasing a ghost?</p><p>The song outside ended, and the boy started clapping, gaining Neji’s attention. “Gaara-san,” he almost messed up and called him boy. The boy turned his head to look at him, stopping his clapping. Neji shook his head, telling him no. The boy put his hands in his lap but went back to watching the performances down below.</p><p>“Your concern for him is cute and quite unlike you, Hyuuga-san. Gaining information after all these years and you still have the presence of mind to try to keep him safe from malicious eyes.”</p><p>“You give me too much praise. I am just concerned of who will see him and use him as my weakness. “</p><p>Seiryu chuckled. “If that were true, then you would have kept him at your side the entire time and politely bypassed my offer to let him watch the performance. You may pretend to be polite, Hyuuga-san, but I know you are a snake in the grass that patiently waits to strike. It may not be a romantic love, but you do care for his comfort. That you have not been able to hide.”</p><p>Neji’s eyes hardened, not liking the implication.</p><p>Seiryu pretended not to see, finishing the rest of his wine. “Now that I delivered the information I wanted to give you, I will take my leave.”</p><p>“Allow me to have someone see you out,” Neji was about to get up, but Seiryu stopped him.</p><p>“No need. I have other business to attend to, so I will see myself out. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”</p><p>With Seiryu’s departure, Neji finally let himself relax to a degree and go over the conversation in his head. Seiryu had shown passing interest in the boy. It didn’t appear he was going to try to use the boy against him, and he managed to gain some information. The princess. He hadn’t seen her since that fateful trial three centuries ago. If it really was her, she would know whether his brother was alive or not. He exhaled heavily. Clasping his hands and placing his head against them.</p><p>Should he have hope he would be able to track her down after all this time? Or would that be setting himself up for disappointment when it didn’t work out?</p><p>A hand touched his shoulder tentatively, startling Neji and sitting up hastily. The boy was kneeled at his side, his hand still in the air, pulled back. Had he concerned him?</p><p>Breathing out, he glanced at the balcony. From the sound of it, there was another performance going. “Shall we finish watching the show?” he asked.</p><p>At the boy’s innocent and clueless gaze, he found himself smiling a little. Seiryu was right. He was thinking too much. He had to take one step at a time. Without calm, it was impossible to make a wise decision.</p><p>He took the boy’s hand, leading him back to the balcony to finish watching the show. He was never into watching dancers, but he did enjoy the music of the brothel. The boy seemed to enjoy it too, closing his eyes and just taking it in.  It seemed music was universal, reaching the heart of even this foreign child.</p><p>After the performance, they left. The boy clutched his sleeve again, but he showed more curiosity in his surroundings. The same was apparent on their way home. Now that the streets were emptier, the boy could observe the streets easier.</p><p>It was only halfway through the night, but it felt so much longer. The boy, who was not on the same night schedule as everyone else, was showing signs of exhaustion. Haru and Natsu came to Neji once he entered through the gates, but rather than allow them to take care of him, he instructed them to bring the boy to bed.</p><p>They led the boy away, and Neji watched. Haru and Natsu had always served him directly, but more and more he was allowing the boy to use them. Was Seiryu right in his assessment that he was getting soft towards the boy?</p><p>Nonsense. This was just for show. His servants had lost his trust when the boy fell ill, and he trusted Haru and Natsu to get the job done. He would bring them back to his side once he was certain the house staff would take proper care of the boy. His kindness towards the boy was only to get what he needed. Nothing more.</p><p>Thinking of what must be done, he went to his office to write another letter. If the woman was Tokugawa’s mistress, Namikaze was the best person to ask to investigate, being closest to the shogunate. Hopefully this time, the lead would go somewhere. If it didn’t, after so many years, he may have to give up on his revenge once and for all.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If there is a name swap I missed, let me know. I also included a picture of the different men kimonos so those who are unfamiliar with the parts can understand.</p><p>So, funny story about Seiryu's woman he was looking for. As I said before, this was originally a fanic of another original story (Free Me From Desolation)  that was also recently reconverted back to its original fandom roots. While I was writing the original version of this chapter, I thought it would be funny if Seiryu's dream girl was actually a man who is one of Neji's guards who is an assassin. That man in the original version was Itachi's equivalent (his name was Takeshi). I ended up writing an entire one shot of Seiryu pursuing him. I'm telling you guys this because i don't plan to put that subplot in the fanfic version. Just thought it would be fun to share.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Diary Entry 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Brother, you will not believe the things I have seen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Forgive me, I should start from the beginning. Since my last letter, I have recovered from my illness. Since then, the tutor returned and the servant, Neji, stopped coming by as frequently. I know when someone thinks poorly of me. I do not need to understand his words to know he was cursing me, thought poorly of me. He thought I was an imbecile, scoffing if I made a mistake and speaking loudly and slowly at times as if that would somehow get his words across. It took everything in my power not to kill him for talking down to me as he had, but I did not want to be like father, and stilled my anger and my hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He attempted to teach me etiquette for an entire week. I refused to cooperate, but I did take mental notes. Whenever Neji would come to my room, I would watch him eat, noting how he held the sticks he ate with and how he sat. He called the sticks, chopsticks. A strange name like everything else in this place, but in private, I practiced with them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Admittedly, I dedicated more time then I had planned to this skill. Earlier in the week, when Neji accompanied me for dinner, he was working. He had never worked while we ate before, but he did it again the next day, hardly paying attention to me at all. He appeared tired and overworked as he did calculation after calculation on his abacus. Even busy, he would take time to teach me something new. Showing just a little curiosity, he stopped to show me their number system. It is much more complicated than necessary.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>By the fourth day of watching him work, I finally figured out how the account book was structured, and how the abacus worked. It was similar to the ones at home, just slightly different. He did calculations the hard way. He did not appear to have a concept of zero, nor did there appear to a symbol they used for it, and their way of writing of numbers were not ideal for quick calculations. When he was called away, I finished the calculations for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He must not have realized I had done his work as he continued to work on it long after I had turned in for the night. He was working so hard, I started to feel guilty. Think of that. Me feeling guilty over someone else. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The final straw was when he came to my room, determined to make me learn how to properly use their utensils. My reluctance to use it in front of him distressed him, but I did not want to show him my clumsy handling, so I did not touch them. Seeing his face as he left, I worked hard that night to become adequate at using them. I understood why he was so desperate for me to learn the next day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was dressed differently than usual, and the servants who came to dress me, I believe they are called Haru and Natsu who always seem to accompany him, dressed me differently as well. There was an additional layer of cloth underneath the usual robe and a thin coat as well.  They put up my hair and placed a hat on my head. As Neji watched me, he appeared anxious and on edge. His words more clipped than usual.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For the first time, they brought me outside the manor.  I was hesitant at first. Neji, strapped swords to his waist, and I wondered what was to happen to me. Then, a bunch of men came, dressed similarly to me, surrounded me, and we began to walk. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I soon realized they were keeping me out of sight and trying to discretely move me. I admit I had hoped they were trying to send me home. The disappointment that that was not the case still has not left me.  It was foolish to believe in such hopes to begin with, but I could not help myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We went into a building and the people with us blocked the door, making me nervous as Neji descended a set of stairs no one else was allowed to go. Feeling jaded that I was not to get my freedom and seeing the suspicious entrance, I grew dubious of his intentions. Where was he taking me and why?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seeing the girls at the bottom awaiting us, I knew it was some sort of pleasure or entertainment house. Again, I wondered why he brought me here, worried he planned to sell me to this place. My concerns were quite misplaced with the sight that came after.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When we went further into the underground space, I had seen things beyond my imagination. Brother, we talk of demons, but a part of me never fully believed in them. Today, with my own eyes, I saw them. The air in that place made it hard to breathe. It was like being submerged in ice water, where it is both numbing and painful and moving through it was difficult, unsure if your body was responding the way it should. They watched me. As they played with their women and drank their wine, they watched me, like I was their prey.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I could not help but cling to Neji like a child. I have fought on the battlefield, killed, tortured, been tortured, and I ended up clinging to a servant like a babe. But touching him, I was able to breathe. Able to keep my head high and not tremble with fear. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji did not fear. He walked through this place as if it were any other. His calmness radiated to me. If he did not fear, why should I? But again, I wondered what his motives were in bringing me to this place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish to explain to you the creatures I have seen, but I do not know how to describe them. I questioned whether or not this was the afterlife, but it was nothing like what our religion has said it would be, and I do not recall dying. If I were to have died, it would have had to have been when I was captured on my way to India, but it would make sense wouldn’t it? Why ever since I opened my eyes in this new land it was so foreign to me. Maybe back then, I did die.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He brought me to a room, and he let down his guard. Seeing him, I relaxed as well, not knowing how tense I was until the door closed. Neji broke the contact between us, sitting. I copied, hoping to be in his favor for whatever was to happen. I was not naïve enough to believe he brought me here without a purpose, to have fun. The question was, did he have ill intentions towards me. For now, he is the only pillar I can rely on. Should he abandon me now, I will have no chance. Even if it was below me to beg for favor, it was the only way I can survive. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Music from outside the room on the first floor played. It sounded similar to the kanun. Longing for my homeland filled my chest. It wasn’t the same. The sound and resonance was different, the chords and rhythms unfamiliar, but it was the closest thing to something I recognized since coming here. I was drawn to it, overcoming my fear of being seen by those creatures down below. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji allowed me to wander closer, and for that, I was grateful. Just so I could peer over the side and see the instrument at work. A young woman seated on the stage, playing the instrument as another woman danced. I missed you so much then, brother. I did not realize how much I missed my homeland. How much it hurt. How much I ache. I forgot the demons, my predicament, my status, and just listened, pretending I was back in my own bed amongst traitorous subjects once more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Soon enough, someone entered, and I went to Neji’s side. A beautiful creature appeared before me. I thought he was Him himself. Though human in appearance, I was enveloped in his power upon his entrance. Unlike the others, I did not fear his power, but I was overwhelmed, frozen in place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji, who I have come to see as a calm and collected person, was quick to bow his body and show this creature respect. It was the first being I had seen Neji show respect to, and I wondered two things. Was this Neji’s master, and in return, was this the person I was meant to be given to?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The creature was regal, more commanding than any ruler I have ever met, with eyes that could devour your body whole. He was serene but prideful, holding himself above all. I was both entranced and fearful. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The creature began to talk to Neji and gifted him something. My heart stilled, thinking it was gold in exchange for me, and then the creature turned his eyes on me. Neji was still acting uncharacteristically humble, and I could not find it within myself to blame him. In front of this creature, I do not know if I would be able to resist a command either.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Finally, the creature turned his full attention to me and started addressing me. Understanding he was most likely asking for my name, I introduced myself. I fought against my ingrained sense of pride of being a nation’s prince and lowered my head to another, recalling how Neji had introduced himself to this creature. Then I gave my name.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I must have said something wrong. Neji looked horrified, bowing once more and quickly speaking, and the creature laughed at me. I do not know what I said to garner such different reactions. Did I misunderstand what Hyuuga meant? I had assumed it meant “I”. Perhaps I was wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My mistake was quickly forgotten. We sat once more, and Neji engaged in conversation, staying humbled and keeping his gaze slightly down rather than looking the creature in the eye. I did my best to keep in mind the etiquette Neji had been desperate to teach me. It was worth the trouble seeing how surprised he was when I ate with the sticks. A weight was lifted from his shoulders. He must have been worried I would embarrass him in front of this divine-like being. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>However, the way they sit here is very uncomfortable, and my legs were hurting and going numb. I concentrated on the music to try to distract myself, but I had no idea how long their conversation would last. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As if reading my mind, the creature gained my attention, using the fan he carried in a sweeping gesture to gain my eye and then gestured me towards the balcony. I took the chance, though I did glance at Neji to see if he would object. When none came, I went back to listening to the performance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Time flew by, my watching only interrupted once when I clapped for a performance. I heard others cheer, so I had assumed it was okay to show my appreciation, but Neji told me no. I sat wondering if I had been sold or not. Besides the initial interest in me, the creature paid no more attention. He talked to Neji. I would say it was a meal between friends but there was no camaraderie between them. So why was I here?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The creature eventually left, leaving me here with Neji. Neji looked disheartened, his face going through various emotions. Anger, dissatisfaction, and resignation. He was conflicted. Seeing it, I could not leave him be. I wanted to offer him comfort as he had offered me before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was startled that I would do such a thing, and then he smiled. My heart skipped a beat. He took my hand gently, pulling towards the balcony to watch the performance together. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why did he do things like this? At times, I think he sees me as a woman. He handles me gently, takes care of me. Goes beyond my physical needs. We cannot understand each other but at times, sometimes I think we do not need words. Sitting beside him, I am conscious of his presence. I am aware of it when before I could ignore him if I desired. What has happened? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Returning back to the place from before, with him at my side, I braved looking around, trying to memorize as much as I could as well as take in my surroundings outside the manor walls should I ever attempt to escape. I will need to come out again during the day for a better view, but I believe I memorized how to get to this town from the manor at the least.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tired from lack of sleep, the two servants came to escort me to bed, Neji staying at the gate, watching me leave. Strangely, as the distance between us grew, I wanted to stay by him a little longer. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is this what they call a friend, brother? I have never had one, so I do not know. I have never tried doing something for others before. Do something for them without their asking, hoping to make thigs easier for them. If I were to survive in the palace, I did not have those luxuries. His smile, easing away his conflicted heart and tired appearance, made my struggles feel worth it though I have received nothing in return. I do not understand it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish I could talk to you in person. Things are not so simple as I had thought. Demons, this county, this culture, I think if you were here, we could talk it through, and I would not feel so lost. I am sure this is the will of God and that He wished for me to see these things, experience these things, but I am uncertain of what I am supposed to do. All I can do is keep trying to survive here and wait for my chance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With many blessings,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gaara</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So let me explain Gaara's ability in math. What we use today to represent numbers is actually Arabic numbers. So 1,2,3,4 was all designed by Arabs. in addition, they created the concept of zero. Now there was a concept of something not being there but not zero itself. Zero is important as it gives you the ability to do calculus. Algebra was also created in the middle east. Japan's original way of writing numbers is basically spelling it out. so the number 2,341 would be  二千三百四十一（にせんさんびゃくよんじゅういち） ni sen san byaku yon jyuu ichi.  A direct translation of that would be two thousands three hundreds four tens one. Think of trying to add using numbers spelled out. Two hundred forty-three plus fifty-seven versus 243+57.  We take out the thousands, hundreds and tens and use the number placement to supplement that information.  Now, I do not know when Algebra came to Japan or became common practice, but I am going with Neji being self-learned in most things and knows basic arithmetic. </p><p>On another note, I have a question for you all who reads. So in the original story of this fanfic of an original story that was once a fanfic, there is a character that will appear in this story as Neji's first love. Now, the character does have a Naruto equivalent, however, I do not like that equivalent being with Neji as I write this as an original story first then translate it back to fanfic status (which I'm sure you're all tired of me doing that and missing name switches all the time) I'm okay with the original characters but not quite with the Naruto versions. I am trying not to spoil who it is so I can't tell you all (unless you ask for it), but do you want me to just make another OC or go ahead and put the Naruto equivalent in?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. World Map</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seeing the supplies be set off on time was a load off his mind. Somehow, they had managed to scrape by though now they were suffering a bit of a loss. Currently, they were looking for the culprit who had embezzled the funds, but things were not quite adding up.</p><p>The books didn’t go through many hands. Tampering with the books would be difficult to cover, and then the fact it went unnoticed by Kurenai and himself for so long. Kurenai was in a more precarious position. The shop owners who reported to her were ready to place the blame on her and accuse her. A woman shouldn’t be given so much power, they were saying. Neji should replace her and punish her for her screw up, they claimed.</p><p>Kurenai could say nothing without making the situation worse. If it was a hundred years ago, Neji may have agreed with them. He had been skeptical when appointing her back then, but now he knew better. Kurenai was one of the most intelligent people he knew, and even better at handling money and investing than Uchiha or Nara. A mistake like this was not like her, making him think someone had set her up for a fall. Out of all his advisors, Kurenai would be the easiest target as any mistake could put her position at risk, and if Neji took her side, it would hurt his reputation as well.</p><p>It was unfortunate for Kurenai. Neji had watched women roles reduce more and more, especially in the past century. It must have been more frustrating for Kurenai who was old enough to remember the time when there were Empresses and men married into the woman’s family before China’s influence took over. Even by the time Neji was born, women's roles had mostly been reduced to the home. This situation made him frustrated for her. He could only imagine how frustrated and powerless she felt, left to the mercy of Neji’s decision.</p><p>He sighed, not wanting to think about it. He could try causing a scandal to pull attention away from her, but he was in a precarious position himself with Gaara’s arrival. While he didn’t like humans, he needed them, and humans would not respect a man with a male lover and once that gets out, he would be fighting to keep that power over them.</p><p>Another advisor meeting would be planned for tomorrow though two of them couldn’t attend. Hopefully, Nara and Uchiha could come up with a solution otherwise, he may have to give Kurenai a different position, which would upset her husband greatly. That was something he would also like to avoid as Asuma was leading his army.</p><p>“Master,” Sugo approached him, going into a bow. “Shisui-san has returned from his mission.”</p><p>For once, it was good timing.  “Prepare some tea,” he told Sugo, walking back to the house.</p><p>Shisui was waiting in the office, taking a knee and head bowed to Neji before he had even entered the room.  “Report,” Neji commanded, going to his desk to take a seat.</p><p>“A Portuguese trader managed to identify the writing. He said it is called Arabic.”</p><p>Arabic? He had never heard of such a language before. It would be difficult to find a translator then. “Did he tell you anything else?”</p><p>Shisui approached the desk, spreading out a map before Neji. “This is the newest world map created by a Dutchman. It has not been distributed anywhere else yet. The trader says it is very reliable.”</p><p>Neji’s lips downturned. He did not recognize anything on this map. “Where is Japan?” he asked.</p><p>Shisui pointed to a small thin island on the edge of the map. Causing Neji to downright frown.</p><p>“Are you sure the map is accurate? Japan is not that small.”</p><p>Shisui was not fazed by his doubt, having an answer already prepared. “I cross-checked the map with other traders in the port. While the maps varied depending on the cartographer who created it, Japan is small on all of them.</p><p>“Then what about China?”</p><p>Shisui traced an area on the map.  It was quite smaller than Neji ever imagined. When Shisui showed him Korea, it was even smaller than Japan. It was a lot to take in, sitting back and staring at the piece of paper. Japan was so large. How could it be so small on the map? Even China was not as large as he had thought. “And the boy’s homeland?” he asked.</p><p>Shisui, using a piece of charcoal, circled various areas on the map. “The trader said that there are many places the boy could be from. “There are many countries that have Arabic speaking natives. He explained they are usually from places called the Middle East or Northern Africa and that Islam is their religion. When I gave him a description of the boy, he confirmed that it is likely the boy is from one of these places. The boy has traveled much farther than we have thought. Depending on how they transported him, he could have been traveling for anywhere from 3 months to a year.”</p><p>Neji felt anger simmer underneath his cool exterior, recalling how the Chinese merchants had the boy stuffed in a box when they brought him, and the deep scars caused by rope and chains on his limbs. “I suppose we will not be able to determine his origins until he learns the language.” His eyes lingered on the map. Perhaps the boy was more familiar with maps than he was and could point to his homeland. “Has your cousin determined the location of the Chinese merchant’s family?”</p><p>Shisui took a knee, placing a fist over his heart and bowing his head. “Yes, master.”</p><p>“Tell him to kill them all. Work from the outside in.” Neji carefully lifted the map. “Not immediately. Three months to a year should suffice.”</p><p>“I will do as master says,” Shisui responded.</p><p>“And find out how they got hold of the boy before you do.”</p><p>“As you command.” Shisui left, leaving Neji with the map. He recalled Nara’s words, how Japan lacked knowledge of the outside world. He never thought it was important. Until now that was.</p><p>Could the world really be so vast? He had traveled all across Japan, had participated in the invasion of Korea with Hideyoshi, he thought there was so much to see. That the world was large then. Seeing this map, he could see how foolish Hideyoshi, and himself in return, were for believing they could ever conquer China. They had been unable to even conquer the small Korea.</p><p>Feeling foolish and uneducated, he folded the map, putting it away carefully in his sleeve. The map was still considered contraband no matter how helpful it could be. With Japan’s borders closed, the information was basically useless to the common folk. It was best to keep this map out of sight, though sharing with his shadow guard may be useful in the near future.</p><p>It was still early in the night. The boy was likely still up, though, without a tutor, his sleep schedule was slowly shifting to align more with his. Having time to himself for the first time in a while, he found himself walking toward the boy’s room. Should he get medicine to help reduce the scarring of his wounds?</p><p>As he thought, he caught movement in his eye, an unfamiliar person in his courtyard. Neji stopped, brows furrowing. Gaara was out of his room, sitting on the edge of the engawa just outside the room, listening to the intruder, who looked somewhat familiar, but it was the small smile on the boy’s face that irritated him.</p><p>“You there. State your purpose,” Neji demanded, quickening his steps to get to Gaara’s side.</p><p>Gaara seemed startled by Neji’s tone, but the person he was talking to quickly paled, immediately going to his knees. “My name is Uzumaki, Naruto. Nara-san brought me here and said to keep Gaara-kun company while he took care of some business,” the intruder rushed out quickly.</p><p>Recognizing the name, Neji inwardly cursed, thinking of a certain fox demon who would trouble him if he found out Neji had reprimanded the boy so. The better question was why was this child here?   </p><p>“Haru, escort the boy back into his room,” Neji commanded. The young twin came seemingly out of nowhere doing just that, escorting the confused boy back inside. Naruto trembled under Neji’s hard stare, waiting for the room door to close.</p><p>“You said Nara, Shikamaru brought you here?” Neji asked, wondering what that fox was up to.</p><p>“Yes, my lord,” Naruto chanced looking up, his eyes lighting up with realization. “It’s you.”</p><p>Neji narrowed his eyes. “Do you believe you can speak with me?”</p><p>Naruto quickly closed his mouth.</p><p>“You have a way with children, my lord.” Nara walked around the corner, revealing himself.</p><p>“Why did you bring him here?”</p><p>Nara went to Naruto’s side, standing with him. “You asked me to find a tutor. I found one.”</p><p>Neji looked at Uzumaki skeptically. “He’s a bookkeeper and a child at that.”</p><p>Nara tapped the boy’s shoulder, making the boy look up hesitantly. “Uzumaki-kun. Gào sù tā.”</p><p>The young man looked at Nara with uncertainty. Looking back at Neji, he responded. “Wǒ zì xué chéng cái , dàn néng shuō liú lì de zhōng wén hé hán yǔ.”</p><p>Neji turned to Nara for a translation.</p><p>“The boy taught himself Chinese and Korean and as you can see quite fluent. He’s also been releasing poems and novels under an alias.”</p><p>The young man flushed with embarrassment as Nara praised his accomplishments. From the limited information Neji had looked up on him, he was 16 and had moved here from Kyoto three years ago. He owned the bookshop with his only offense being hoarding foreign texts.  The boy was clean, but it did not mean he would make a good tutor.</p><p>“Knowing multiple languages and being able to read and write does not mean he would make a good tutor.”</p><p>“That is true.” Nara agreed. “That is why I left him with the boy to see how they would get along,” turning to look at the young man, he asked, “What did you think?”</p><p>Put on the spot, the young man rubbed the back of his head, anxiety playing out on his face as he realized for himself how much he had been manipulated by Nara’s hand. It led to Neji having a bit of sympathy for him. “The young master is quiet and a bit intimidating, but he seems really smart. Gaara-sama picks up intent well, and he actively listens. I’d have to be around him more to figure out the cultural differences…” Naruto trailed off, uncertainty seeping into his tone.</p><p>“Did the boy tell you his name himself?”</p><p>Naruto nodded, avoiding Neji’s gaze.</p><p>Nara raised an eyebrow at Neji, as if asking, “Any complaints?”</p><p>Indeed, the short period he had been with the boy, Naruto had figured out the boy’s name, acknowledged his intelligence, and even considered cultural differences, something Neji admittedly did not consider much when interacting with the boy. The young man’s assessment was leagues above what that hack scholar had told him. However, the young man’s actions and way of talking was unrefined, reeking of that of a commoner and someone of lower status. It caused a dissonance within Neji’s mind to consider someone so young with no official accomplishments, position, or reputation to rely on.</p><p>“What would you need?”</p><p>“Huh?” Naruto’s eyes met with Neji’s for the first time since being scolded.</p><p>“What would you need to teach him?” Neji repeated impatiently, letting his displeasure of having to repeat himself known.</p><p>“Oh, um… Books from his native language if you could find them and any translated words of the same work in Chinese, Korean, or Japanese. It’s easier to explain things if I have an idea of how his language works. Illustration books are helpful too. If you’ll allow me, I can bring some from my store along with a copy of the textbooks from the school.”</p><p>“And your requested compensation?”</p><p>Somehow that question took the young man aback. Then he unexpectedly asked for, “One bu would be nice…”</p><p>“A day?”</p><p>Naruto’s eyes widened ad his hands waved in front of him frantically. “No. No. No.  A month. A month,” he quickly corrected.</p><p>Neji mulled over the request. The price was extremely low. About the amount a maid would make. Even a laborer would make twice that amount. He would say the boy was naïve, but he did run a business, so he had to be aware of the average wages, and scholars were often paid more.</p><p>“If I hired you, you will be here from sunrise to sunset six times a week,” Neji clarified just in case the young man was not aware of how long he would be in the manor a day.</p><p>Instead, the boy latched on to, “You’ll hire me?” He seemed so legitimately happy, Neji could not understand it.</p><p>“You’ll start tomorrow. Natsu, have someone escort him home.” The other twin appeared, startling the young man into nearly tripping.</p><p>There was no way the demon king of Kyoto would allow Neji to pay the boy such a low wage. He’d have to adjust it. After a probationary period that is.</p><p>“What demon possessed you to consider that boy for the position?” Neji asked, noting how Nara had tried to walk away before he could be questioned.</p><p>“He came highly recommended by someone. I was skeptical at first, but as you can see, he is smarter than he appears. At the very least, he is more sociable and friendly than either of us.”</p><p>“Who was this recommendation?”</p><p>Nara opened his fan, covering the lower half of his mouth. “Come, my lord, if I told you everything, life would be more boring than it already is.”</p><p>“Nara,” Neji growled, but he was completely brushed off.</p><p>“He is a trusted subordinate of yours. That is all I can say.”</p><p>“Then you’ll vouch for the boy and take responsibility for him.”</p><p>“I would,” Nara said without hesitation. Not that Neji could do anything to the boy should anything happen. Nara was aware of that and really had nothing to lose. Hopefully, that didn’t mean Nara wouldn’t keep an eye on him after sponsoring him though.  He still had his doubts Naruto could do the job well.</p><p>Seeing that he was defeated this round by Nara’s scheming yet again, he relented. There wasn’t much to lose with this arrangement and guarding the boy would be easier with him in the manor. “Very well. Get the boy what he needs to start his lessons. Since his supplies involve contraband, you may gain aid from the shadow guard under my orders.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord,” Nara bowed, taking his leave to take care of the supplies.</p><p>At least looking for a tutor could be put on hold for now. It was one thing off his shoulders even if it wasn’t important compared to his other problems. Which reminded him…</p><p>“Kakashi-san,” he called out in a low voice.</p><p>In an instant, Kakashi appeared, kneeled in front of him. “Yes, master,” he replied. Luckily, he was in civilian clothing rather than his shadow guard outfit. As Kakashi was his personal guard, he was usually always nearby.</p><p>“Uchiha-san is in the storeroom, correct?”</p><p>“Bring him here. I have something new to show him that may interest him.”</p><p>“Yes, master.” Kakashi disappeared as quickly as he appeared.</p><p>Pushing his bangs back, he exhaled loudly. Perhaps he should take it easy for the rest of the day and let himself rest. He smiled wryly. Since when did he ever think about taking a break?</p><p>He entered the boy’s room, seeing the boy’s concerned eyes looking up at him. His tone must have startled him. He had been ushered away in a hurry.</p><p>Haru excused himself once Neji stepped inside, bowing to him and leaving.</p><p>Thankfully, Haru had asked someone to bring tea. Neji poured himself and the boy a cup. Whether the boy drank or not did not matter. He just wanted tea to ease the tension headache. He could not understand how he could never get ill and healed almost instantly when injured, but tension headaches were still possible.</p><p>Gaara looked between him and the cup and took the cup, sipping at it slowly.</p><p>Gaara seemed to really like that boy. How had that Naruto kid get the boy to smile? Was it because they were near the same age, though Gaara looked slightly older? It was hard for Neji to even remember that age. Well, that wasn’t quite true. He remembered the betrayal. He remembered the time he spent with him, but those were memories and feelings he repressed. Any other memory and the emotions he felt were lost with time. The boy probably thought he acted like an old man.</p><p>“Neji…” the boy said quietly.  </p><p>Neji glanced up at the boy. The boy’s eyes were looking down, looking every as awkward most young men his age did when uncomfortable. “Dai…daijoubu?”</p><p>
  <em>Are you okay?</em>
</p><p>Was he trying to comfort him? Did he look to be in need of comfort? He admitted that he was irritated and was stressed, but no one would ever ask him if he was fine. It wasn’t appropriate to ask as it meant he lacked the discipline to keep his difficulties to himself and not trouble others with his problems. As he was the master here, no servant would dare bring attention to his weaknesses, and yet hearing the boy ask, even if the way he asked was extremely rude, did help. It wasn’t like he had to be strong for the boy.</p><p>“Daijoubu desu ka,” he corrected him, fixing his casual speech into keigo.</p><p>The boy didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t sure if the boy even knew he was trying to correct his speech. Still, Neji felt inclined to answer his question anyway, “Daijoubu.”</p><p>
  <em>I’m fine.</em>
</p><p>The boy started to reach out hesitantly across the table, reaching for the teapot when the door opened and pouring himself more tea.</p><p>Uchiha, Itachi entered, bowing his head. “You called, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>“Come sit, I do not believe you met, Gaara-san, yet.” At his name being mentioned, the boy looked up at Neji.</p><p>Uchiha bowed to the boy gracefully. “Pleased to meet you. My name is Uchiha, Itachi. Please take care of me from now on.”</p><p>The boy only briefly looked at Uchiha, but Neji supposed the boy had no interest in his guest, filling up Neji’s teacup instead.</p><p>Uchiha didn’t take offense, instead coming to sit as instructed. “Kakashi-san said there was something you wished for me to see?”</p><p>“Yes. You speak Dutch, correct?”</p><p>“A little from when I worked with foreign traders. I have not used it in a long time, so I do not know if it will be of any use to you.”</p><p>Well, if Uchiha could read the names on the map would be good enough. Even if he couldn’t, Uchiha may still be able to use the map in the future in case sanctions ever lifted. Neji pulled out the map from his sleeve and spread it out for both the boy and Uchiha to see.</p><p>“This is the map, Shisui-san brought back with him,” he explained to Uchiha. The map immediately grabbed the boy’s interest. “We,” Neji pointed to himself. “Are here.” he pointed to Japan. “Nihon.”</p><p>The boy’s eyes furrowed. “Al-yaban…”</p><p>“Al-yaban?” Neji asked, looking at Uchiha who also seemed clueless as to what it could mean.</p><p>The boy then said. “Jipang.”</p><p>“Jipang?” Uchiha said, looking in thought himself. “That sounds similar to what some places in China calls us, though not quite.”</p><p>So the boy vaguely knew where Japan was and maybe knew some Chinese, but the boy’s face changed. Though his emotions were kept smoothed out on his face, for the most part, Neji felt the boy’s mood had fallen.</p><p>He then pointed to himself and then at the map. “Masr.”</p><p>Uchiha leaned over the map, trying to read the map. “Egypte?” He read aloud slowly. “Ejipto,” he repeated, trying the word again in Japanese.</p><p>Neji was watching the boy, his eyes seemed sad, staring at the map. He thought perhaps the boy would be happy knowing where he was, but it seemed to have upset him instead. Uchiha on the other hand had become fascinated with the map, quietly studying it. “Given your relations with that Chinese nobleman, I will allow you to borrow the map. If you can, try to get any foreign items from this Ejipto country and bring them here.” Perhaps something from his homeland would cheer the boy up.</p><p>“I will do my best,” Uchiha said, collecting the map. Quickly, he said his goodbyes and left. Uchiha had really taken an interest in the map. He would probably find or create his own copy.</p><p>The boy sat quietly; the tea left forgotten. When their food came, the boy barely picked at it. He was more distressed than he thought.</p><p>But Neji didn’t know how to offer comfort. They could barely communicate. He didn’t know what the boy liked or disliked, and Neji did not know how to give comfort. He had closed himself off for so long, he could barely feel emotions himself anymore. What chance did he have to comfort another?</p><p>Then the boy started crying. Not loud or blubbery. Just quiet tears. His expression didn’t even change. His expression was still smoothed out, but tears spilled over as he quietly put food in his mouth. He didn’t say a single word.</p><p>Crying normally didn’t faze him. He had killed people after all and had seen countless people cry and beg for his mercy, but something about seeing this boy cry unsettled him. Since coming here, the boy had not shown much distress. He did not cry and was even a bit defiant. There had been a glint in his eyes that said he would fight to the end. Crying like this, he became vulnerable. And Neji did not know how to deal with that.</p><p>Unable to stand the sight any longer, Neji left. As he passed the boy, he looked back, and a feeling of guilt entered his consciousness. Why should he care about the boy’s feelings?</p><p>As he tried to do more work in his office, his mind kept going back to the boy. All things considered; the boy had been little trouble. He mostly stayed in his room. He had been cooperative despite his situation. He was even making an effort to learn their language and culture. He supposed the boy deserved a reward for good behavior, right?</p><p>But it would take some time to find something from his homeland, so it wouldn’t be practical to lift the boy’s mood. Slowly, his mind drifted further and further away from work until his brush laid forgotten on the desk, and he was staring into space.</p><p>How about a dessert? Daifuku. Or maybe Dorayaki. Dango was a possibility too. No, the boy didn’t eat much, and what if he didn’t like it. It may make his mood worse. And what if he became upset again? It should be a gift he can look at whenever he needed. If he knew what the boy liked, it would be easier to find something useful.</p><p>He exhaled angrily, not seeing the twins give each other a look.</p><p>The only thing the boy seemed interested in was the music from the Heavenly Palace and his painting. He could hire one of the girls to come and play for him and perhaps something more if the boy wished, but it was late, and the boy would be asleep by now. He supposed he could have her come when he woke. But was that enough? And for some reason, he was hesitant to the idea of a woman in his room.</p><p>He tapped his finger. Then a painting? What could he paint? He liked the landscape picture he drew, but he didn’t think more of Japan would help the boy’s spirit. An animal? A person?</p><p>He sighed, standing from his desk. “Bring the wine.”</p><p>Natsu got up to his feet, running to do as he asked, while Neji picked up his painting materials. Maybe something would come to him if he started painting. He went to the engawa, setting up the scroll and inks. Natsu came back with a large jug of alcohol just as he started to paint, pouring him a cup.</p><p>Throwing back the alcohol in one gulp, he got to work, drawing different things. He tried animals, warriors, nature, but it didn’t seem right. He discarded scroll after scroll, abandoning them partway. Why did none of them seem right?</p><p>He drank from the jug directly, staring at the new blank scroll. There had to be a subject he would be satisfied with. He could recall how the boy watched him paint that night. How wide-eyed he was. How fascinated. How innocent.</p><p>He picked the brush, dipping the tip in the ink.</p><p>Big green eyes that portrayed innocence and intellect. A long, strong nose that was different than anything that he had never seen before. Wavy hair that was the color of fire. Skin that was kissed by the sun. A chin that was strong yet still had soft features.</p><p>The sun peeked over the horizon, and Neji’s eyes drooped.</p><p>This picture still did not do justice to the real thing. It did not capture his foreign beauty.</p><p>He leaned against a pillar, closing his eyes. He would need to find a new way to paint if he wanted to do it right. Perhaps, he would try again. After a short nap.</p><p>He dozed off.</p><p>When he awoke, the sun was already going down. He rubbed his face, thinking how undignified it was to sleep out here where he could be seen. As he sat up, a haori that had been draped over him fell into his lap.</p><p>Neji held up the article of clothing with confusion. This haori….</p><p>He looked down, seeing his painting missing as well.</p><p>A small smile graced his lips, holding onto the haori tightly.</p><p>“Shall I return it for you, Master?” Natsu asked.</p><p>“No,” Neji answered, his thumb rubbing over the fabric. He got up, stepping over the leftover scrolls and ink. “I’ll do it.”  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Showing You My Sword</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Naruto boy came on time just as promised. Neji was unable to return the haori, overhearing some of the lesson by mistake. Gaara’s soft voice repeating words after him and being praised for it. Only listening in, he knew Naruto would become the official tutor. Gaara had not cooperated or talked to anyone else. So he let them continue the lesson and went about his own work.</p><p>With the boy staying up all day learning and Neji becoming swamped with work, he didn’t get to see the boy often. Even their meals together were either short or skipped. Strangely, Neji didn’t even realize that there was no reason to continue these meals together. He didn’t have to keep going out of his way. The boy was eating well on his own now and no longer required Neji’s food testing to eat, yet he still made an effort to eat together when he could.</p><p>Days went by, Neji facing a new problem/ opportunity. The illness that had been spreading from village to village had hit a town a couple of days away. It was just on the outside of his territory and on the edge of collapsing due to poor management. If he went, he could save the village and expand his territory in one go.</p><p>This was where dealing with Kishimoto weeks ago had come in handy after confiscating all the medicine and supplies from him. Kishimoto’s poor decision would help Neji expand his power and influence at little cost to himself.</p><p>Neji prepared for the trip while dealing with the Kurenai problem. He decided to let her run the town for him for a while, keep her out of the public eye and let things calm down. He knew she felt like it was a demotion, but there was not much he could do but wait if she wanted to keep her position. She didn’t fight the decision. Accepting it with dignity, and not much else. She was a fiery woman full of spirit, and seeing her subdued, it just made Neji want to find the culprit for it even more.</p><p> Neji rolled his head, cracking his neck. The cracks felt quite cathartic. He had been cooped up in his office for too long. He never considered himself someone who dealt with paperwork. He was a warrior, and yet he spent most of his time indoors these past decades.  His train of thinking stopped. Perhaps he shouldn’t call himself a warrior. He had brought disgrace to the word over the years.</p><p>Shrugging off his haori, which Haru took, Neji loosened up his shoulders.  There was a training area on the property. It was near the shadow guard quarters where they slept and trained. The area was nice with the ground level and mostly made of dirt. It made sword and martial arts practice ideal. Natsu came forward with his sword, something he used to never be without. Yes, warrior would no longer be an accurate name for him.</p><p>Picking up his sword, feeling the familiar weight in his hand once again, his mindset shifted. It was an instantaneous shift. Calm. Serenity. Stillness. All the discipline of years of fighting came back with the sword in his hand. He drew out the blade in one swift motion, dropping the scabbard.</p><p>He could see his enemy in front of him. A tall muscular body with an easy atmosphere approaching him in a casual manner in his mind’s eye.</p><p>300 years and still his appearance was as clear as day. The way he walked, the way he drew his sword, the way those amber eyes would pin him down from across a field.</p><p>Bloodlust filled his being. When a sword was drawn, it was meant to kill. He took his first stance, imagining his brother taking a casual one of his own.</p><p>
  <em>What’s with that face, brother? You look like you want to kill me.</em>
</p><p>Neji’s grip tightened around the hilt. With a strong push-off, he made the first move. His brother only partially drew his blade blocking the attack.</p><p><em>You do want to kill me, </em>he would say amused, drawing the rest of his sword from the scabbard while pushing Neji back.</p><p>That’s how Neji trained. Imagining his brother fighting against him. Every move his brother would make, every counter, every dodge. His brother had always been faster, stronger, more cunning. He would sometimes play dirty, saying honor meant nothing if you were dead. His lenient way of fighting, always at ease while Neji went at him with everything he had.</p><p>Even in these simulations, he would never win. It was like every time he thought of a counter, his imaginary brother would evolve, finding a counter to it. Perhaps it was because in his mind, his brother had always been unbeatable. Always perfect. Always unpredictable. While this simulation sparring helped him improve, it also added to his growing belief that if they ever met again, his brother would kill him on a one on one duel.</p><p>The snapping of a twig, distracted Neji, turning his bloodlust on the intruder, stopping the blade at Gaara’s neck.</p><p>Realizing his mistake, Neji immediately lowered his weapon and reeled in his murderous intent. “Gaara-san, is something wrong?” The boy rarely left his room, and this place was quite a distance away from the main building. What would bring him out so far, so late? He even brought a lantern with him to light his way.</p><p>The boy wasn’t afraid or even startled that a sword had been at his neck seconds before. Though, the boy did seem a bit anxious when he set down his lantern. Suddenly he bowed, arms glued to his side and bowing way too far as if he was about to ask for forgiveness. “Nice to meet you. I am Gaara, son of Rasa. I am 19 years old. Please take care of me.” The boy immediately straightened his back, looking every bit as awkward as every foreigner Neji had ever seen.</p><p>The sudden introduction took Neji by surprise. The boy’s eyes were intense as if waiting for judgment, Neji’s assessment. Was he supposed to be the grader?</p><p>Neji smiled a little. The boy’s accent was thick and awkward, something that normally grated on his nerves, but it was cute coming from the boy who was still waiting for his judgment. It appeared the boy finally learned how to properly introduce himself, though it was still wasn’t in keigo form. He would talk to Naruto about that, but for now, he bowed elegantly, “I am Hyuuga Neji. Please take care of me,” he responded a bit more formally, but not quite keigo. Lifting his head, he saw the boy flushing, but apparently quite satisfied by Neji’s response.</p><p>Did the boy come all the way here to show him his progress? Natsu came, offering the scabbard that he had dropped earlier. Neji took it, intending to sheath his blade, but Gaara pointed to the sword. “I see, please.”</p><p>Natsu looked at the boy from the corner of his eyes. Neji could feel his qi subtly shift to being hostile. Neji didn’t reprimand Natsu for the behavior. The boy would not understand what he had asked. A sword was a warrior’s most valued possession. Natsu was the only one allowed to handle his weapon when it was not with Neji, and yet the boy carelessly demanded to see it. But at this point, the boy was ignorant about everything as a young child. There was no point in being insulted.</p><p>Deciding to keep his words as simple as possible in the chance the boy could understand a few of them, he said, “Come.”</p><p>The boy approached with his lantern, placing it down once more beside Neji. Neji carefully handed the sword over to the boy, presenting it with two hands, holding it delicately in his hands.</p><p>As always, the boy picked up on his mannerisms, picking up the sword with two hands, just as delicately. He observed the blade with a critical eye. “Pretty. Nice.”</p><p>Neji’s smile grew. He could see the frustration on the boy’s face, knowing he had more to say, but limited by his vocabulary. “Very pretty.” He agreed. “This is Zangetsu.”</p><p>“Zangetsu,” the boy repeated. “My scimitar has no name.” The boy said, looking a bit sad as he spoke.</p><p>Neji wondered what scimitar was. The boy had use iru, not aru, indicating it was something alive, but Neji wasn’t sure if it wasn’t an error of speech given that they were speaking about swords.</p><p>“Practice?” The boy said. Neji couldn’t tell if he meant to ask if Neji was practicing, if Neji was going to practice, or if he wanted to practice. Though they now had some communication, it was still long from being useful.</p><p>The boy gave the sword back, and Neji looked over the sword. It was a beautiful sword, only second to Masamune as crystals were embedded in its blade in its forging. The blade practically glowed with moonlight, thus its name. He closed his eyes and sheathed the blade, giving the sword to Natsu. Neji went to the weapons shed where the practice swords were held, finding a light, beginner sword. He returned to Gaara, handing him the sword. It was dull, so he wouldn’t be able to hurt himself.  </p><p>The boy frowned, looking at the storage of weapons. Was he not satisfied with Neji’s choice?</p><p>Then the boy looked at the ground around them and went running off, coming back with a stick. Neji’s irritation at the boy’s rudeness was temporarily subdued by his curiosity at what the boy was up to. </p><p>He twirled the stick in his hand as if he was getting a feel for it, slicing quickly with one hand. He nodded as if he was approving of the weapon of choice. He went to the center of the training area, looking at Neji. “Watch.”</p><p>Neji’s eyebrow raised at the command. The boy was talking as if he was the boss. Where was he picking this speech up from?</p><p>The boy took a stance and started going through drills. It was a swordsmanship Neji was not familiar with. It was less structured. The boy held the stick with only one hand, more reliant on using the opponent’s strength to slide the attack off and parrying. There was more footwork and the body had more movement. He could see why the boy rejected the sword chosen for him. The stick was slightly shorter and lighter, allowing more mobility. Judging how the boy wielded the stick, the hilt would be shorter and suited for only one hand. Another thing that was bothering Neji was the way the boy moved. It wasn’t just sword practice. Neji could see experience in his movements. Educated and knowledgeable in swordsmanship, this boy was obviously not a simple commoner.</p><p>Now fully curious, Neji joined in, attacking the boy with the practice sword. The boy, taken by surprise, countered rather effectively, though he did leave his free hand exposed for a second.</p><p>They exchanged blows, Gaara and Neji both adapting to the new sword fighting style, Neji’s structured while the boy’s was more freeform, using his environment, even using his feet to try to trip Neji up. If the boy was a samurai, it would be considered a dirty trick, but he could tell it was apart of the boy’s fighting style.</p><p>Neji disarmed him for the tenth time, making the boy pout a little. Neji found it kind of cute as the boy went to get his stick. If he had the proper weapon, it would probably be easier for the boy to wield.</p><p>However, it was getting late, and the boy had to get up early for his tutoring session. “Time to sleep,” he announced as the boy picked up his stick.  The boy looked back at him with determination, obviously wanting another round. “Sleep,” Neji said again.</p><p>The boy looked disappointed. Enough so, Neji couldn’t help but put his hand on the boy’s head. The boy was almost as tall as him, so he shouldn’t be treating him like a child, but the pout made him unable to leave the boy alone. “Please?”</p><p>“….Yes,” the boy said reluctantly, his cheeks reddening. Worried he was getting sick again, he had Haru give the boy his haori. “Go back home.”</p><p>As Neji lifted his hand to pull it away, Gaara grabbed it. Neji’s face heated at how forward the boy was.</p><p>“Go together.” He said, pulling Neji’s hand.</p><p>The boy smiled at him sincerely, pulling him back to the main house. The boy led the way, dragging Neji along. He could have just pulled away, but the boy looked happy, dragging him along like lovers. The hand holding didn’t even seem to bother the boy much. He probably didn’t know what it meant or perhaps in his country, he was used to being lovers with other men.  They may have been mates, but they weren’t lovers.</p><p>The boy looked back at him. “Neji?” he asked upon seeing Neji’s face.</p><p>“Say, Hyuuga-sama,” he said, unable to look at him. He pulled his hand away.</p><p>The boy looked at their disconnected hands, his face falling. They walked back together, but the boy’s mood had fallen quite a bit. When the house came into view, the boy separated first. “Goodnight… Neji,” he said quietly, walking off by himself.</p><p>He seemed to have hurt the boy’s feelings, but the boy didn’t know better, and if he did… Neji would have to crush that behavior. They could be friends at most, but never lovers.</p><p>The boy’s downfallen look stayed with him for the rest of the night. It had been the first time the boy had smiled at him. Perhaps he should have let him continue holding his hand. He was just a child after all.</p><p>He went to bed, still pondering whether he overreacted.</p><p>Once Neji awoke the next night, he did not have time to come to an answer, immediately going to work. Neji wasn’t planning to see the boy before he left. He didn’t have time. He was dressed casually; his guards were preparing the horses and supplies, and Neji was discussing travel plans with the head guard. The journey would take a few days, and they would need to stop during the day.  </p><p>“Everything is prepared for your travel,” Sugo said, bowing to Neji.</p><p>“Tell everyone to prepare to leave. We will move out momentarily.”</p><p>Sugo went to follow his command. It had been a while since he left his home for a length of time, but this may be a good change of pace for him.</p><p>As he prepared his horse, he caught sight of Gaara standing on the engawa, watching them from a distance. He looked uncomfortable with so many people around. He was probably confused as to what was going on.</p><p>“Natsu, I want you to stay here with the boy.”</p><p>Natsu stopped his preparations, turning to his master, his body unnaturally still. Neji waited for conformation, and it took a long time and a look from Neji before he received a, “Yes master,” unloading his few personal items.</p><p>It was best to keep someone he trusted to watch after the boy while he was away. He couldn’t let him get into any more trouble after all.</p><p>Haru watched his twin go. For the first time, there was concern on his face and discomfort. Now that Neji thought of it, this was the first time they had ever been separated from one another.</p><p>“Do you wish to stay with him?” he asked Haru.</p><p>Haru’s eyes refocused on him and dutifully bowed. “I am Master’s will. I will do as he desires.”</p><p>As always, he gave the appropriate answer a servant should give. The only difference is Haru and Natsu always meant it when they said it compared to others. They never spoke out of turn, never asked for anything, never took a day off, and often knew him better than he knew himself. It was hard to remember a time when they weren’t at his side even though they had only been at his side for about 50 years. They had even turned earlier than the others, wishing to serve him as soon as possible. Was it possible to have someone be too loyal?</p><p>“Your mother has been ill recently. If you stay, you both may take turns in seeing her before she goes,” Neji offered.</p><p>“We have made peace with Mother’s mortality when we were children, Master. We will stay to serve,” Haru responded, not even wavering in his response.</p><p>Neji mounted his horse. It seemed he would have to stop by to see the old woman when he returned, else Haru and Natsu may regret their decision with time.  </p><p>He looked back, seeing Gaara one last time. He spared the child a little smile before urging his horse forward. He would be back to see him soon enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Japanese lesson time!</p><p>So what Gaara said was "Ore no scimitar wa namae ga inai." Inai, or iru in its dictionary form, means to have or exist however it is only used in regards to living objects. What he should have used was nai, or aru in its dictionary form.  Aru means the same thing as iru but used for non-living things. So he used the wrong word, thus Neji's confusion.</p><p>Also, scimitar is a type of sword and Gaara said the word scimitar.</p><p>Also, wanted to ask if you guys find the dairy entries too frequent.</p><p>Please leave comments.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Diary Entry 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Brother,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am ashamed to admit this, but I always wanted to hold someone’s hand. Honestly, I had given up on the idea. In the palace, I am above them. If by chance they are not, I have to worry about plots and treachery. I never had anyone I could trust enough to even want to consider a friendship with. Who would have thought it would be a foreigner?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The first time I almost held his hand, he was sitting across from me, looking irritated. Taking a chance, I spoke to him for the first time. If I am right, I asked him if he was okay. He was surprised and even a bit embarrassed as he replied, repeating the word back. I reached out to touch him then, but the door opened, and I lost my nerve.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The problem with not being able to communicate is that I am unsure if he feels the same. While I trust him, I do not know if it is reciprocated. I cannot help but laugh at myself for my cowardice. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even though we cannot communicate well, he must have been looking out for me. My tutor changed. To a boy who is energetic and younger than I am. The first time I met him, it was by mistake. The boy was wandering in the garden outside my room, stubbing his toe on a rock. I did not need to know the language to know he was cursing. He reminded me a bit of you. I laughed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everyone in this place seems unrealistically graceful and coordinated. Even Haru and Natsu, who are younger than me, possess that efficiency and capability. That one simple mistake made that boy appear more relatable than anyone else. My small laugh drew his attention. He stared at me wide-eyed and anxious, but quickly approached, bowing awkwardly. At this point, I realized that bowing to one another was a greeting here, so I did so back to him. He introduced himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For some reason, he remained flustered, but he was also curious. I bet he had never seen someone like me in his life before. In an effort to avoid my mistake from before, I only gave him my given name. His name was Uzumaki Naruto. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Naruto is quite amusing. When he realized I could not really understand him, he started miming things, making himself look the fool, trying to get his point across. I could not help but smile. It was the most entertaining thing I had seen since arriving. My reaction to him, slowly put the boy at ease as well, as he gradually forgot my appearance and grew comfortable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am satisfied with him as a teacher. He is clumsy, and he is not the same status as everyone here, but he is smart, though first appearances may say otherwise. I do not know why, but he is terrified of Neji, and Neji does not appear to like him either. Neji was almost protective of me when he appeared, seeing me interact with him. I thought I had spoken to someone dangerous or someone I wasn’t supposed to, who would have thought he was just my future tutor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course, such a moment of levity is often followed by heavy news. Brother, I am not in China as I had thought. I am even farther East. I am in Japan. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I thought China was unlucky, but at least it was on the continent. There were caravans I could take to get home. There was a sliver of a chance. Japan, I heard its borders were closed to the outside world and that they were killing any foreigners who appeared within their border. That was why Neji and the other were keeping me from sight when we left. I knew going home was probably not likely, but now, with confirmation, it has really sunk in. I am alone here in this foreign land with no hope of getting back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I am honest, I had pondered whether I would even survive the journey here. I had suffered homesickness, anger, helplessness, shock, and so many more emotions I cannot even describe. By the time I had arrived, I never truly thought I would succeed in any escape. I tried not to admit such things aloud, but I am no fool. Even in my previous letters, I mentioned how unlikely it was. Meeting Neji again, getting closer to him, I had hope that perhaps….</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I should not complain. Given my circumstances, this more than I could ever hope for. I am well cared for even if it is not the life I had become accustomed to there are some aspects that are better than home. I know the people of this house are doing their best to protect me, and slowly, I am leaving my room, and observing the world around me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji had a hand in that. I feel that without him, I would have stayed in my depressive state. I am working hard to try to learn the language for him. I have things I wish to say and become frustrated when I can’t. I know he feels the same, knowing I cannot understand him when he speaks. When I had grown disappointed from learning my location, he was at a loss on how to comfort me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Later I found him sleeping outside in the sun. He was still wearing clothes from the night before and had his inks spread all around him, discarded paper crumpled up in frustration. In front of him was his attempt to paint me. I could tell it was me, but it really did not look like me as he had used that oriental drawing style with the round faces and small eyes. Reflecting on it, the painting could have been for someone else, but I could not help but take it because he painted it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The painting itself lacked beauty compared to the painter anyhow. I had never seen him in the sunlight before. His black hair shone like polished onyx, the perfection of his snow-white skin shone in the light, his features were soft and gentle. Awake he always appeared cold and distant, tired and weary of the world. I never could have imagined he possessed such a face. A face that would put those Christian angels to shame. It is a face one could stare at and lose hours. And when I placed the robe they gave me over him to keep him warm in absence of a blanket, he stirred.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His eyes fluttered open, revealing the hint of molten silver, drawing attention to long dark lashes. His eyes focused on me, only briefly. Such a predatory gaze that made my heart sputter. And then he fell back asleep. Rather than an angel, perhaps I should compare him to a cobra. Beautiful but posed an underlying danger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Listen to me, talking about the beauty of a man, but truly, no woman could compare. I wish you could see him and lament how much of a waste it is on him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do not misunderstand me though, he may appear delicate, but he knows how to fight. On one of my braver nights, leaving the manor completely in search of him, I found him training with a sword. Naruto calls them a katana. Being on the battlefield, I could sense his bloodlust, his murderous intent. Whoever he was imagining, he wanted to kill. Similarly to how I would like to kill Father. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I did not get to see much of his skills. He noticed me too quickly. From the little I could see, he was faster and more precise than any swordsman I have ever encountered. With the growing use of firearms, swordsmanship was dying. It is a sad thought to think that such a disciplined and beautiful skill would die out in a few generations. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I showed him some of the swordsmanship from our homeland. I only meant to give him a demonstration, but he joined in. His eyes were alight with playfulness as he toyed with me. His skill was obviously superior to mine, yet he kept showing off. I knew he was faster and not using all his strength, but I cannot help but think I saw a new side of him. A playful side that he hid behind his dignified demeanor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then he told me to go to bed like a child.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do not know why he insists on treating me as such. He is not much older than me. 5 years perhaps? It is hard to tell Asian ages. They always look younger than they are. Even so, he kept insisting, so I made the compromise of going if he went. Fresh from sparring and my spirit high, I managed to hold his hand. I felt the spar was the last step in cementing our brotherhood. I saw him as my equal. I trusted him. I deemed him worthy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Writing it down, I realize how foolish it was to think so. Just because I wanted to befriend him did not mean he felt the same. Perhaps that is why he pulled his hand away. Maybe he did not deem me worthy. In the end, are I not just a pet? Fed, cared for, trained. I am a prince, but he does not know that. He probably sees me as beneath him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And yet I still hope. I want his approval. His attention. I want to speak to him and be able to see into his thoughts. I want him to see the smile he displays so rarely. I want to hope that one day, he will consider me a friend as well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I may have to wait for it. This evening, I saw him leaving with an entourage with many supplies. I do not know what is going outside these walls, but I do pray for safe travels. Maybe next time, he can bring me with him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Until then, I will keep learning and send him letters if he can. If he sees me worth the time, perhaps he will send a response. I do not know how long they will be gone for, but I sense it will be a while before we meet again. I do not wish to lose the progress that we have made. I do not want him to forget me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>May you stay safe,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gaara</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. The purpose of life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neji arrived at the village without incident. The condition was worse than what had been reported. The sick were out on the streets, dead bodies lay rotten where they passed, attracting rodents and flies and spreading the illness further. Homeless children slept not even meters away from the decay. Food and other resources were extremely low due to merchants avoiding the area, and anyone with money was holed up in their homes to avoid the sickness, cutting off any chance of help the poor had.</p><p>Neji and his men immediately took over the house of the daimyo’s representative. They took it over in the middle of the night and forced him to hand over his power of the situation, putting him in a situation he couldn’t refuse. The daimyo had basically abandoned the village to die, and the representative knew it and had planned to abandon the village as well, taking the last of the money and supplies with him. They kept the representative confined while they sent someone to buy the land for cheap. It would be the daimyo’s loss when the town revived.</p><p>As the messengers left, they got to work, cutting off roads to the town to keep the disease from spreading. They burned the dead bodies, quarantined the sick, offering food, medicine, and clothing. The orphans were placed elsewhere and carried for. Abled bodied people were told to donate what they could for tax breaks and to farm the land nearby, carefully monitored for sickness.</p><p>Being vampires, they were immune to diseases, but the villagers did not know that. The praise the villagers gave for their unknown saviors for risking their health and safety for them, raised their standing, lessening their resistance to the outsiders who came and took over. Kurenai especially worked hard, interacting both day and night with the villagers, discussing ways to find supplies and money. If things went well, they would not object to her running the town despite her being a woman.</p><p>Neji had also monitored some of the orphans who proved to have a strong will, who would likely find a home and who would not. Who would likely survive long term, and who would give in and die. He found 3 young boys. A 3, 5, and 6-year-old. They would make promising shadow guard members in the future. There was a 10-year-old as well that piqued his interest, but he feared he was too old to start training now, both mentally and physically. He was also protective of the younger children and the children not selected may need him to survive in the future. And for the first time, there was a girl who had drawn his attention.</p><p>The girl was 5 years old. At first, he thought she was a boy by the way she spoke and acted. He watched her take on an adult who tried to take the extra food given to the children, taking a good beating but managed to protect the food and the others. She was loyal, strong-willed, and was rather smart in how she supplied the adult in charge information about the others to help resolve problems. Working with Kurenai, he did not want to dismiss her, but he never took on a female into the guard. The physical demand may be too much for her body and she would be rooming, training, and bathing with men. It was all meant to form camaraderie and giving her any special treatment would cause problems, especially since he usually let problems within the group be settled within the guard unless it was necessary for his intervention. He did trust that his guards would not look at gender, they were trained to treat everyone equally outside the guard, but he could not be sure for the same within.</p><p>He knew what Kurenai would say. Give her a chance, but he could not shake his reservations. Was he hesitating because of his traditional views or was it because he truly did not know if bringing her in would be for the best? Maybe making the girl Kurenai’s disciple would be better.</p><p>Neji flipped through some pages. They had already been here for a month and a half, longer than expected but still within their expectations. The town was on a path to recovery and his presence was no longer needed. He set up the things he had needed to set up for his purposes and the town should be more prosperous when things finally settled.  He should be able to return shortly.</p><p>“Master, letters from the manor have arrived,” a servant announced.</p><p>Hatsu got up to receive the letters for him and bring it over to the desk Neji was currently sitting at. Neji accepted them, finally pulling his eyes away from the paperwork for the first time in days.  A letter from Sugo about manor affairs, Natsu’s report, Kakashi’s report, he skipped them all, going to the bottom of the stack, his features softening slightly.</p><p>During his time away, he would receive letters from Gaara. He opened it first, reading over its contents a small smile on his lips. The boy’s writing had improved a lot over the time he had been away. His sentences were getting longer and more complex with each letter. The letters were always short like he wasn’t sure what to talk about which made Neji wonder why he sent them, but the last one did have a question for him.  “When are you returning?”</p><p>Neji picked up a brush, writing a reply. “Send this reply and tell the unessential personal we will be leaving in the morning.”</p><p>“Yes, master,” Haru received the letter, immediately going to get it delivered. He was looking forward to returning home.</p><p>And the next day, he did, gathering his people, he headed back to his home base, the place he had called home for the past 137 years, and when the front gates opened, the boy was there waiting. It seemed he got his message after all.</p><p>Rather than let the servants come to greet him, he signaled them to stay away to allow the boy to be more comfortable. The boy glanced at the others who immediately went to work unloading their horses. Then with his head held high, he walked straight up to Neji, saying, “Welcome home.”</p><p>“I’m home,” Neji responded, looking at the boy with a soft gaze. “Have you been well?”</p><p>The boy nodded. Strangely, the boy had his eyes averted and he had a small blush. “It’s been a while.”</p><p>“And you still talk informally to me.” He petted the boy’s head. “Come and help me.”</p><p>“I’m not your servant,” the boy said, but he followed behind him, holding out his hands when Neji pulled the gear off his horse. He almost smiled when he tossed a bag to the boy, normally heavy for an ordinary human, with one hand, and the boy struggled to carry it. Natsu, who had come with Gaara, picked up the even heavier bag off the horse, already falling in line with being his second hand. Haru quickly followed behind his twin joining Natsu.</p><p>Still, the boy had more meat on him and had gained some muscle he had lost during his rough transport. Though if he stayed weak it wouldn’t matter. However, it was good to see the boy was not taking advantage of his kindness and just lazing about. He was assertive in his own quiet way.</p><p>Neji led his horses to the stables, the boy following closely behind him, struggling with the bag, but refusing to let it show on his face though his arms shook. Teasing him like this wasn’t bad either.</p><p>“I see your studies are going well,” Neji commented, waiting for the boy to ask for his help.</p><p>“Naruto is a good teacher,” he replied with difficulty, shifting the bag in his arms.</p><p>Neji had to hide a frown at the intimate way he addressed Uzumaki. “Apparently, Uzumaki-san still hasn’t taught you how to address people properly.”</p><p>The boy didn’t reply. His sentence must have been too complex for the boy’s skill level. Well, it wasn’t meant for the boy to hear. As quickly as the boy was learning, he still did not seem to speak formally. He had talked to Uzumaki about it, but he kept insisting that he was teaching the hierarchy of the language. He had no choice but to believe him as Uzumaki did not seem to be lying, and he was always intimidated by Neji’s presence. So why wasn’t Gaara using it?</p><p>They reached the stables, and Neji took his time stabling his horse. His horse was a gorgeous black stallion. It was strong, brave, and loyal. It was a good war horse that unfortunately hadn’t seen many battles and probably never would. </p><p>“Have you eaten?” The boy asked.</p><p>Neji petted his horse, taking a moment to silently thank it, before responding, “I’m not hungry,” he replied, having fed on blood before coming all the way back to the manor. “But I will take a walk in the gardens before work.”</p><p>Gaara put the bag down, breathing heavily, then picking up the bag again. He was working so hard, much to Neji’s amusement. “Do you want to join me?”</p><p>The boy nodded.</p><p>Neji chuckled softly. The boy had wanted to say so much in his letters, yet now that he was here, he was being tight-lipped. With one arm, he picked up the bag from Gaara, throwing it over his shoulder as if it were a bag of feathers. “Servants should ask for help if they need it.”</p><p>That got the boy riled up, daring to glare at Neji though his face was still flushed. Did he work the boy too hard to be so red?  “I’m not a servant,” he declared. “You’re mine.”</p><p>Neji raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?” He approached the boy, fixating his piercing gaze at the boy. “I did not know that.”</p><p>“You’re nice. You also help me,” he whispered.  He muttered something else in his native tongue, but there was something in his eyes, a disappointment and uncertainty that he did not like seeing. “Neji… whose house is this?”</p><p>Whose house? Did the boy not know he was the master? That everyone here was working for or under him. Granted, he did help take care of the boy, probably garnering the boy’s confusion, but he thought it was obvious. It would explain why he spoke with a superior tone though, thinking he was above Neji.</p><p>He thought of answering truthfully, opening his mouth to do so, but something distracted him. Seeing a scrap of paper caught on the horse’s tail. Distracted, he pushed the boy aside to retrieve it, his expression darkening.</p><p>“I have to go,” he said, his voice lacking warmth or familiarity, looking at the small piece of parchment. “Return to your room.”</p><p>Neji didn’t wait to hear confirmation from the boy. He barely remembered to hand off the bag of goods to a servant as he beelined to his office where Kakashi was waiting. He crushed the piece of paper in his hand. “Is this a joke?” he asked Kakashi, throwing the paper in front of the guard. “You allowed someone to leave such a message in my house!” he bellowed.</p><p>Kakashi kowtowed. He had been on the receiving end of Neji’s anger in the past. There were few things that truly angered Neji, but Kakashi had been on the end of most of it, being with Neji the longest out of the guard and had been given to Neji on his sire’s orders. As a result, Kakashi never feared Neji’s anger, even in moments like these. He calmly took the words, letting them slide off his back as if he had not heard them.</p><p>“I ask that you calm your anger, Hyuuga-sama. I have sent you a report that there has been evidence of someone watching your movements in the reports.”</p><p>“But you never mentioned them coming within our walls.”</p><p>Kakashi replied evenly, “I thought it would be best to discuss this in person rather than chance a message being intercepted. Was that the wrong decision, Hyuuga-sama?”</p><p>From anyone else, it may have sounded condescending, but Kakashi said in a way that made Neji stop and think things through properly. Kakashi was correct. If they were being watched to the point someone was coming and going from the manor, a message could be intercepted and alert the infiltrator that they knew of him. Normally, he’d have called for a debriefing during his return, instead,  he went with the boy to the stables and had even planned to entertain him for a short while, thus why the message had been delivered the way it had to gain his attention.</p><p>Rather than apologize for his outburst of anger, he sat down, letting his mind rack over the information. “What were the signs that were discovered and where had the infiltrator been frequenting?”</p><p>“Sugo-san found tampering with the storage room lock, and dust that had been disturbed. He suspects that the storage room log had been tampered with as when they did an inventory count, something was missing though the storage log said everything was present. Since Sugo-san is always present when things from the storage room is removed, he remembered the previous count and was certain that the book was incorrect.”</p><p>Similar to the account book incident. If the books were changed after they were checked, he nor Kurenai would have noticed because they had been confirmed. But that would imply money was stolen after it was counted and had entered the manor. Depending on when the books were changed, it could have taken years of infiltration they never noticed or done all at once. Both were unlikely. The former would require someone to constantly be coming and going from the mansion, replacing each book every month and taking the money accordingly. The later would require the books to be missing for a period of time so that they could be copied and manipulated and then move the massive amount of money from under their nose at once. Still, the situation sounded too similar to be dismissed as mere coincidence.</p><p>“There could be an insider,” Kakashi said, darkening Neji’s features. “It would explain how the infiltrator is getting in and out.”</p><p>“Yes,” he said darkly. “I was also thinking that as well.”</p><p>Kakashi sat up, looking uncharacteristically conflicted, wondering if he should speak or not. Neji did not press, knowing Kakashi would tell him in the end. Kakashi did not keep secrets, no matter how much Neji would not want to hear the truth.  “Hyuuga-sama,” he said, giving a brief pause to allow Neji to mentally prepare himself for whatever news was to follow. “Namikaze-sama has sent word from the capital. He says that the mysterious lover of the shogunate is no longer among the living. She was reportedly killed a month ago. Namikaze-sama tried to look into it but said there was nothing special about her background or death that he could find. She did, however, look like the portrait that was sent to him and likely the person you were looking for.”</p><p>Another lead dead. Not only dead but one of the people he sought revenge against. The only real possible lead and it was snatched away from him before he could get it. All the money, time, and effort he had spent to find this one clue, was gone. He couldn’t even be the one to kill her. Another thing denied to him. Why must he always be denied?</p><p>“Do you also think I should give up, Kakashi-san?” Neji asked. His question was devoid of feeling. He couldn’t even bring his eyes to focus on Kakashi even when the man replied.</p><p>“This servant has watched the master search for 300 years even before the master even commanded this one. Besides that person’s reported early death as a human, we have found no evidence that he even became a vampire. In this humble servant’s opinion, I believe the master is chasing ghosts and whispers fueled by the rightful revenge that was denied him.”</p><p>Kakashi was a direct person, who remained unbiased in his observations. It was one of the reasons why Neji accepted his sire’s decision to send Kakashi as his personal guard 300 years ago. As long as they had known each other, even through Neji’s darkest and most volatile moments, Kakashi never swayed in his behavior, remaining a quiet observer and faithfully followed his duties while still following his previous master’s teachings. Kakashi was meant not only to guard Neji, but always be truthful whenever asked without hesitation or mercy, and unlike his advisors, he was not skilled with words and was direct and clear about his position and thoughts if he had to present them. He did not play to Neji’s moods or the repercussions his words might bring.</p><p>If it was not for that quality, Neji would never have brought someone to his side back then even if it was his sire’s last will.</p><p>“If there is a snake, I want it caught. Do not alert him until it is too late for them to escape. I want to oversee the interrogation and perform the execution myself.”</p><p>“As you wish, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>Kakashi disappeared, leaving Neji to his despairing thoughts. The idea of giving up left a hollow feeling in his chest. His quest for vengeance had kept him alive no matter how humiliating it was, no matter how low he sank. And though his hatred remained strong, indifference to the world around him settled in, it gave his long life a purpose. If he gave up, what was there for him? He did not long for fame. He kept his name and face hidden for a reason. As for money, he just needed enough for wine, a small amount of food, and a roof. He had more than enough wealth if he sold his assets to live for a long time if he lived simply. What else in this world was there for him to live for without revenge. He had nothing of real substance.</p><p>He did his work absentmindedly, his mind unable to focus. All his thoughts revolved around that one question. If not for revenge, why was he even alive?</p><p>He lost track of time and place. He couldn’t remember when he finished his work or how he ended up wandering the gardens.  Fall would be settling in soon, and the garden would lay dormant. The petals were already wilting. Flowers lived such short and fragile lives. His first life had been similar. Was this suffering he felt these past centuries punishment for defying his fate? Should he have just let himself wilt and die as was expected of him? Had he thought himself too high above his actual station, an illegitimate child of a whore and a nobleman.</p><p>He reached out, catching a fallen leaf in the palm of his hand.  Should he just fall?</p><p>Oblivious to the world and lost in his thoughts he did not hear the soft footsteps following behind him. Even if it was an assassin coming to kill him, he would not care. It was only by chance, when he stopped to stare at the fish in the pond, that he caught sight of Gaara following at a distance.</p><p>He looked back at him, with a dead-eyed stare then kept walking as if he saw nothing, not commanding him to leave or encouraging to follow either.</p><p>This repeated for several days. Neji could not bring himself to talk to anyone other than automated responses and did not deal with anyone unless he had to. Otherwise, he ordered everyone to leave him be and to stay away, walking the courtyards and mountain late at night.</p><p>Each night, Gaara would be there, following. Normally, Neji would not have found the presence of another permissible if he had given the order as he had, but he did not correct Gaara’s behavior. He did not correct, but would not actively acknowledge the boy either. Little by little, the boy followed closer and closer, the distance narrowing each day until Gaara was walking at his side.</p><p>The boy never spoke, did not disturb his silence as Neji tried to find some meaning for his existence. Though Neji could not and would not see him, he felt his presence. The boy had to have been tired, Neji thought distantly one night. The boy’s lessons started at dawn and his walks were long after the moon peaked in the sky. Why did he come here to accompany him? Why go out of his way when Neji had not commanded him or asked him? What purpose did he have when doing so would not get him anything? Did he expect a reward or better treatment if he did this?</p><p>The boy looked back at him with his green eyes now that Neji’s eyes were focused on him for the first time since these nightly walks started.  </p><p>“Why?” he asked, stopping one night.  “Why are you doing this?”</p><p>The boy stopped walking as well, meeting Neji’s eyes. “You looked lonely,” was all he said, and the boy continued his walk.</p><p>Lonely? Him?</p><p>Neji continued to walk after the boy, the silence between them resuming for the rest of the walk. He had been lonely his whole life. Besides a brief period of time, he had learned to live with it until he could no longer feel it. It did not bother him. So why would this boy follow him for such a simple reason? He did not understand.</p><p>At the suggestion of Uchiha, who pointed out that Neji had given him the wrong document for the third time within a span of a single incense, Neji went to the hot spring to “rejuvenate” himself. Neji did not indulge in hot springs too often, but Uchiha said a change of pace may help him focus. After giving him the wrong document for a fourth time, he decided to take the advice.</p><p>He stripped out of his clothes, placing them neatly on a rock with robotic motions, and waded into the water, tying up his hair.</p><p>He stood in the water for a while, zoning out once more.</p><p>Familiar footsteps came from behind him. Gently pulling him back to the present. Even here, the boy could easily find him. Neji slowly turned his eyes onto the boy who stopped in his tracks. He was flushed again, staring at him with an unreadable expression. Why was his face always red? Neji wondered. The boy eventually averted his eyes, sitting down on a rock with his back towards him.</p><p>“Are you not tired?” he asked the boy.</p><p>The boy nodded. He had to be lying. How many nights had he had only a few hours of sleep to accompany him like this?</p><p>He finally sat down in the water watching the trees sway with an absent mind. He still hadn’t found a new purpose in his life. Was he going to continue living like this? Continuing as a hollowed-out shell of a person? There were worse ways to waste away he supposed.</p><p>“Neji,” the boy spoke up quietly. He paused, trying to figure out his words. There was frustration that he could not say what was truly on his mind, lacking the ability, forcing him to abandon what he wanted to say and instead say. “Can I help?”</p><p>“There is nothing you can do,” Neji replied listlessly,</p><p>“I can… massage your head. . . helps . . . headaches.” The uncertain words left the boy. It sounded rehearsed and the words unfamiliar to the boy. Had someone told him to say that?</p><p>Headaches were the only ailment he suffered from since becoming a vampire. Usually caused by mounting stress or things he didn’t want to deal with. In recent times, it had become frequent, especially with the boy’s arrival.</p><p>Not really himself, he gave a nod, accepting the boy’s offer. The boy’s eyes were anxious as he moved closer, sitting behind Neji, carefully taking out his hair. The boy’s hands were shaking a little as his fingers combed through Neji’s locks to straighten it a bit before moving to massage his scalp, pushing against the appropriate pressure points, and easing his hazed filled mind.</p><p>For a boy, his fingers were quite strong but gentle as they gradually eased away Neji’s apathy. Neji closed his eyes, placing more of the weight into the boy’s hands, leaning into the pressure.</p><p>“Neji,” the boy spoke suddenly, drawing Neji back from the lull of peace the massage had brought to him. Not fully, but enough to listen to the boy’s words. “Are we friends?”</p><p>Neji opened his eyes, seeing the boy’s troubled face, though he tried to hide it with a stoic mask. He noticed the boy always tried to hide his expressions, but his eyes kept giving him away. “Why?”</p><p>The boy’s hands stopped, and Neji found himself disappointed until the boy resumed the massage. “In my country, when men are close friends, they touch hands.”</p><p>Touch hands? “Do you mean hold hands?” Neji asked.</p><p>The boy nodded. “Here… do they not?’</p><p>Neji recalled the time the boy tried to hold his hand. If he recalled correctly, he pulled his hand away, causing the boy to be disappointed at the time. Was that why he was asking? Had he been waiting to ask for nearly two months?</p><p>“Holding hands is for lovers. And only in the privacy of their home.” Neji responded.</p><p>“Lovers?” the boy asked. His tone obviously meant he did not know what the word meant.</p><p>Rather than answer the boy’s question, he asked, “Do you miss your friends?”</p><p>“Neji… is my first… and only friend.” The boy replied. He looked sad, but he also looked like he was hiding something.</p><p>This boy was doing everything he could to survive here. He was giving up his language, culture, and even freedom being in this country, not once complaining or demanding anything in return. The only thing he had wanted, was to hold his hand. Such a strange culture to want to do something so intimate with a friend, but Neji’s refusal had put such a sad face on the boy.</p><p>Lifting his hand out of the water, he grabbed onto one of the boy’s hands, entwining their fingers as his head rested in the boy’s other hand. He looked up at Gaara’s face, above his. “Like this?” he asked.</p><p>The boy’s face turned red once more until he looked away. “Yes,” the boy said. He was starting to like the color on the boy’s cheeks. He was easily flustered whenever he was grateful for things. If anyone should be flustered, it was Neji for doing something like this with another man, but the boy already confirmed that he thought of Neji as a friend and nothing more. If a small gesture like this was all he asked for in return, Neji could pretend the gesture had no intimate meaning behind it.</p><p>“I-I will leave,” the boy’s voice cracked, and he let Neji’s hand go and dropped the hand that still had his fingers entangled in Neji’s hair. He stood quickly. “Enjoy bath,” his words rushed out.</p><p>Hurriedly, the boy left, leaving a confused Neji behind. The boy’s thinking was a mystery. Well, all foreigners were. Just the boy managed not to annoy him with his odd and awkward actions and speech.</p><p>Looking down at his hand, he could still feel the boy’s hands in his. The boy’s hands were rough and large but melded perfectly with his when they were entwined. A friend. Neji was his first. Was that a mistake in translation too or had the boy meant it? In Japan, he could see it. He was the only one the boy could rely on. His safety and comfort relied solely on Neji. But why not his own country?</p><p>If he died or dropped off the map, there would be no one there to protect him. The boy would surely be found and killed without his protection. No one would care for a powerless foreigner who was all alone in this land. The boy did not deserve such a fate when he was brought here against his will.</p><p>Neji stood and hoisted himself out of the spring. At the very least, he could hold himself together long enough to either get the boy home or until the boy passes away. What was another half a century or less to follow through on this one last thing? It wasn’t much of a purpose, but it was something to hold onto until he could find something else to live for.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Mother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neji found himself spending more time with the boy. If that boy was going to be his charge, he had to make sure he was doing well. With a possible traitor within his midst, he was hesitant to believe the reports regarding Gaara. The boy’s reactions to him had also changed since the hot spring. He wouldn’t walk quite so close when they were in the garden together, and he wasn’t looking him in the eye quite as often. He still talked rudely, but Neji was getting used to it. As long as it wasn’t in front of the servants there wasn’t much of a problem, and Gaara would remain silent in their presence and was not fond of being around them.</p><p>Neji had recovered somewhat from his lost goal. While still a little lethargic, he turned his efforts to finding a way to bring the boy back to his home country. Recently, Tokugawa had come down harder on people and traders coming in and leaving the country. In addition, there was a rise in the persecution of Christians. He was still unsure if the boy was Christian or not, but he would have to search the room for any Christian artifacts, so it wasn’t found in his manor in case there was an impromptu inspection. He doubted anyone would dare to search his home, but it would be less of a headache to just allow them to search and come up with nothing. Then he could demand compensation for false accusations.</p><p>Looking over the map of Japan, his best bet was getting the boy to one of the three other open ports and convincing the traders to take the boy with them. He was uneasy though. The boy had been sold once, he could not guarantee these foreigners would not do the same when he was not watching. He could send one of his men, but then he’d have to worry about getting them back into the country and they would be cut off from any support. Going to China was one thing, they had a few contacts there. Going farther than that was an unknown. He couldn’t protect his people outside the Chinese border.</p><p>He did not want to give up sending the boy back so easily, but he wanted to ensure he made it safely. It was the least he could do for the boy’s good intent. It would take time, but he would keep trying to find a way to send him back.</p><p>Today, however, his thoughts were not on the boy or his failed revenge. Today, he was going on a day trip. They left the night before. Their destination being about half a day’s ride. He wanted to arrive shortly after dawn.</p><p>He didn’t take his guards. It was just him and the twins, riding at a leisurely pace through the mountains. They carried little to nothing, minimizing any problems with potential bandits, but the route itself should be safe as it was still within Neji’s territory. Soon enough, their destination came into view.</p><p>Neji and the twins dismounted, tying up the horsed at the bottom of stone steps before they began their climb. The rise of the sun sapped his strength, his limbs becoming heavy as he walked. The twins followed behind him, no doubt feeling the same effects dawn brought upon them. That tired and lethargic feeling. Neither twin showed any discomfort or change and neither did he. They merely climbed to the top of the long staircase until a modest house sat at the end.</p><p>The house was neither large nor small. The gate doors were opened and a stone path led to the entrance. An old woman with a broom in her hands swept the yard, moving the broom in a rhythmic motion as she hummed a folk melody.</p><p>Upon their approach, the old lady raised her head, her eyes widening. She fell to the ground to her knees. It looked quite painful, but she still lowered her head to the ground with a grace and elegance unbefitting for her old age. “My lord, I was not expecting your presence here today.”</p><p>“Suel Gi-san, it has been a while.” He looked at the twins who went to the old woman’s side, helping her stand. “There is no need for such formalities. You are an elder now.”</p><p>The woman chuckled, placing an old wrinkled hand on Haru’s. “Even at my age, you are still many decadese my senior. How can I not show such respect to you, my lord?” her voice held a little bit of an accent, and though she lacked a youthful voice, it was still melodic to the ears, holding a comforting feeling when she spoke. “Please come inside.”</p><p>Neji followed the old woman. Though Natsu let go, Haru kept his hands on the old woman, helping her walk. Quite some time had passed since Neji had last seen her. She no longer had any color in her hair and her eyes had developed mild cataracts. She could no longer stand tall and was hunched over, having shrunk in size. It did not feel like he had been away long, but time for humans went by quickly as it had been over a decade, closer to two for the old woman.</p><p>The woman moved about in the house, preparing tea for her quests. Her hands were no longer steady and walking appeared to be quite difficult for her. “Haru, Natsu, help her.”</p><p>The twins got to their feet. One leading the old woman back to Neji while the other finished preparing tea. The old woman watched the two, a mixture of emotions on her face. “There is really no need for this my lord. This old woman has gotten by just fine on my own. I quite enjoy doing the chores myself.”</p><p>“I am aware. You have rejected the maids I have sent countless times,” Neji responded.</p><p>“How could I accept such a thing when you have provided me with so much already? I am not greedy. The help I have gained from you is more than enough,” as she watched the twins her eyes softened. “I only hope I have done enough for you in return for your help.”</p><p>Natsu returned with the tea, kneeling and pouring some for the Suel Gi and Neji. The twins' faces were as stoic as ever as they attended to their tasks even when they asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Okaa-san?”</p><p>The old woman smiled at them. “I have a few things.”</p><p>She put them to work. Roof tiles, weeding, cleaning and polishing the floors, any chore that had become too difficult to do because of her age she had them do. She oversaw them, sitting on the bench outside, watching as Haru fixed the roof. Neji sat beside her quietly.</p><p>This family had always been strange. Haru and Natsu showed little emotion towards their mother. They rarely talked to her and since working for him, they never left his side to help her or greet her on their own. They were more like complete strangers than a family. Yet, Suel Gi just smiled, humming as she watched her boys work on the house without a single complaint.</p><p>“You must think we do not act like a family, do you not my lord?” she said. She had a small smile as she asked.</p><p>“I do wonder if I have damaged your familial relationship,” Neji admitted. Once upon a time, he would have given up everything to have a loving mother.</p><p>“My boys have never been good at showing their emotions. They get that from their father. Duty before anything else.” Her eyes glazed over with fondness, thinking of her lost love. “They are happy to be home, almost as much as they are happy to serve you.”</p><p>Neji opened his mouth to reply when the woman went into a coughing fit. Though Neji didn’t see it, he could smell the blood.</p><p>“The outside air is not good for your health.”</p><p>The woman waved him off. “My lord, I am an old lady. Everything is bad for my health. Let me have some luxuries before I pass. I rather die doing the things I love than in a bed. Also, if I do not oversee the boys myself, they may slack off.”</p><p>That was a lie. Haru and Natsu would never do anything halfway, they were always meticulous in their work even as children. She just wanted to watch her children one last time for as long as possible.</p><p>“It seems like just yesterday you were coming to visit us, my lord. Once a month you would come to check on us and our living conditions. Thanks to you, my boys were able to grow healthily and without worry. I was not surprised they asked me to help them apply to be your servant to repay your kindness. You even took them under your care and took them as your personal servants to watch over them despite their inexperience and human status.” She looked at him in the corner of her eyes. “Though a mother cannot help but worry, it put my mind at ease sending them, knowing they were with you, my lord.”</p><p>“Suel Gi-san…”</p><p>“Forgive me, my lord. ‘Tis the ramblings of an old lady. I find I am often nostalgic and reminisce about the past often. I will try not to do it in the future.”</p><p>“There is nothing to apologize for, Suel Gi-san.” She went back to being quiet, watching her boys once more. Neji’s eyes also looked to the twins. “It is not too late to change your mind. I can still change you to become one of us.”</p><p>She laughed. “I have come to grips with my mortality long ago. It is more than enough to see my sons stay young and healthy for the rest of eternity, and I am looking forward to seeing my dearest Hikaru in the afterlife.”</p><p>Neji knew that would be her answer. He had offered in the past and she had declined each time politely with a smile.</p><p>She was a good woman. He could see why Hikaru had been drawn to her. She didn’t know how to hate or feel greed. She looked at him as a savor. To her, he had saved Hikaru as a child, supported her when she was with child and had no husband to rely on, and took in her children. She never brought up the fact that it was he who had ordered Hikaru’s death. She never blamed him for it. She looked at him warmly and trusted him with her children. Haru and Natsu were very lucky to have such a loving mother.</p><p>Neji helped the old woman inside when her coughing got worst and even warmed the tea. Natsu and Haru were perturbed their lord did such a meaningless task when they were available, but the woman was not as strong as she let on. Neji could smell death lingering on her. The twins had to have smelled it too. She had a month. Maybe two. But he knew she would see no doctor or even request her sons to be at her bedside when she passed. She lived a long life, well into her eighties. It was her time.</p><p>The sun was setting as they prepared to leave, Neji presented her with medicines which she accepted as it was given to her by Neji in person. A small part of Neji did hope she used it though he knew she wouldn’t. She did take her sons aside to speak with them, leaving her last bouts of wisdom to them as they were unlikely to meet again. Neji could have listened in if he wished, but he did not wish to intrude upon their final moments together. She handed each of them something, their hands wrapped around it tightly, the only sign the twins treasured what was given, and they bowed, saying their farewells.</p><p>She saw them out, and Neji and the twins descended the stairs once more. Soon, they were heading back, the moon having risen by the time they mounted and their strength returning to them.</p><p>“Master,” Haru spoke up quietly.</p><p>“Thank you for bringing us here,” Natsu finished.</p><p>A good mother really did know her children best. Neji had not been sure if they truly appreciated the trip out here until they had said so.</p><p>It was strange. When his mother died, he had felt relief and liberation. He felt more regret over a woman he only kind of knew over his own mother’s death. If he had a mother like that, would he have turned out differently?</p><p>“Should either of you find a lover, do not hide her from me. Bring her forward proudly, and I will grant you your marriage,” Neji said. He did not want a repeat of what happened with their father, and he truly hoped they would find lovers, even if it meant leaving his side afterward.</p><p>“Yes, master,” they replied once more.</p><p>Satisfied with their answer, they continued their journey back home together.</p><p>When they returned, it was the latter half of the night.  As they entered through the gates, Gaara was waiting, sitting on the stairs to the main house.</p><p>Neji dismounted, handing off his reigns to Natsu and approached the boy. “It is late, is it not? You should be sleeping.”</p><p>The boy looked up through his bangs, meeting his eyes before looking away almost immediately. “You weren’t home…” the boy trailed off. The boy seemed nervous and anxious these days, not as daring or pushy with his demands of Neji.</p><p>“Do you wish to eat?” he asked. He had some time before he had to do his duties for the night.</p><p>The boy looked up again then nodded, though he didn’t rise right away. He was hesitating again.</p><p>Had Neji done something wrong? He could not figure out the boy’s behavior or why he had been acting so strangely?</p><p>Steeling his emotions, he extended his hand for the boy to take. If he thought of him as a child missing his home, it was easier.</p><p>The boy looked at it for a while before taking his hand and being helped up. Neji held his hand a while longer before letting go. “Come. We should eat so you can finally go to sleep.”</p><p>The boy nodded obediently, following him to the room. The boy seemed to be getting more comfortable with the manor. He was leaving his room more often. Perhaps he should start assigning him a full-time guard if he continued to move about. Even if his territory was safe, he was still a foreigner. Trouble may find him regardless.</p><p>Just as they were about to enter the boy’s room, Kakashi intercepted them. Seeing his captain of the guard, Neji told the boy to go ahead into the room. He motioned for Kakashi to follow him away from the door, not wanting the boy to overhear now that the boy was beginning to understand the world around him.</p><p>He led Kakashi some distance into the courtyard before saying, “speak”, in a clipped tone.</p><p>“My lord, we found a lead about the man you are searching for. There are rumors of him being in Okinawa. Should I send the investigation team?”</p><p>Another lead. Neji closed his eyes, breathing out heavily. “No,” he said quietly.</p><p>This took his captain by surprise. “No, my lord?”</p><p>“No,” Neji repeated, more confidently this time though lacking energy. “I am tired of chasing shadows. It has been long enough.”</p><p>“As you wish, Hyuuga-sama.” He bowed and disappeared.</p><p>This…this was the right choice. He had to move on, and this was the first step. No more chasing ghosts and rumors. He will accept that his brother was dead and leave it.</p><p>He returned to the boy who was waiting for him. For now, this boy needed him more. He was real. He was tangible. His current pain and situation was something Yuji could see and deal with, and only he could help.</p><p>The boy looked up at him expectantly, their trays of food untouched. “Neji?” the boy looked confused as Neji lingered in the doorway. “Are we eating?”</p><p>“Yes,” Neji replied, coming to sit beside the boy. “Tell me, how was your day?”</p>
<hr/><p>A couple of weeks passed uneventfully. The boy continued to act a little strange, sometimes seemingly avoiding him and other times seeking him out. When Neji asked if something was bothering him, he just replied he was fine. He could not understand what was going on through that head of his.</p><p>Kurenai had sent a report telling him the village was doing well and the illness was almost eradicated. She was also starting to put in place the economic plans he and she had discussed before he had left. Things were going well overall.</p><p>He was up a little earlier than usual, watching the boy and his tutor, Uzumaki Naruto, in the courtyard. Thanks to that young man, the boy was learning the language quickly. He planned to reward him well. As the fame of his Heavenly Palace spread throughout the supernatural world, in part thanks to Kurama’s good word, it was successful, and he was close to paying off his investment. Older beings tended provide treasures as payments and more valuable than what most humans would ever obtain in their lifetime. Even if it could no longer fulfill its original purpose, it was still provided a good source of income.</p><p>Neji leaned against the door frame, watching the tutor talk and wave to the boy as the boy escorted him partially to the gate. They appeared to have become friends. Gaara had never smiled at him like that before. The boy was comfortable in the young man’s presence.</p><p>Gaara waited until his tutor had exited the gates, his face falling a little. Was he upset that his friend had left or did he wish to go outside the walls?</p><p>“What is my schedule today?” he asked the twins, keeping his eyes on the boy who lingered in the yard.</p><p>“There is a brief meeting with Nara-sama and there are a few letters that must be replied too,” Haru answered.</p><p>“Cancel the meeting with Nara-san and have someone buy some sweets from town before the stores closed. Bring the koto player from the Heavenly house as well.”</p><p>Natsu went to fulfill Neji’s request.</p><p>Neji may not have been able to take the boy outside the walls, but he could bring some things from the outside in.</p><p>He went to meet the boy. The boy’s face lit up then turned red, then looked away. “Are your studies going well?”</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>Perhaps he did do something to make the boy angry with him. He wasn’t talking as much as before. “I have finished my work early. Would it trouble you to accompany me for the evening?”</p><p>The boy struggled to understand him, his brows furrowing as he slowly dissected what he said. In the end, he nodded. Perhaps he could teach him Go as they waited. Besides Nara and Uchiha, he did not have anyone else to play with. For once, Neji brought the boy to a different section of the manor, the multipurpose room with an unobstructed view of the courtyard. Servants prepared the cushions they sat on and provided tea and a Go board.</p><p>Haru waited outside and out of sight as he usually did when Neji was with Gaara. It occurred to Neji that his servants tended to stay clear when Neji and the boy were together. No doubt they expected him to do indecent things with his mate and wished to give them privacy. Neji had no intention to live up to their expectations.</p><p>They started the game, Neji calmly telling and showing the boy how to play, allowing him to play white and have a large handicap. He kept his words simple so that he could understand, intentionally making poor decisions to turn them into learning moments.</p><p>When it was the boy’s turn and when he was in deep thought on what move to make, Neji would watch him. He had grown used to the boy’s appearance and had even grown a little fond of it. It was really nothing like anything he had ever seen. The boy’s hair was wild and unruly and refused to lay flat. Neji bet it would curl around his fingers if he touched it.</p><p>Natsu eventually came back with the sweets from town. The boy no longer was cautious about his food around Neji and took one, his eyes widening at its taste, hastily stuffing the rest in his mouth. Neji smiled, thinking he really was a child to like sweet things so much.</p><p>His smile caught the boy’s attention. He swallowed, looking down at the food in his hand. With reluctance and flushed cheeks, he offered the sweets to Neji.</p><p>“You can eat them. Tea is more than enough.”</p><p>“But you don’t eat enough…” the boy mumbled. Neji wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hear it, but if not, why would the boy use Japanese?</p><p>“What do you mean?” Neji asked, curious as to why the boy thought so.</p><p>“Your meals are much smaller than mine,” the boy responded.</p><p>That was true, they were. It occurred to Neji they had never told the boy about his kind yet. He no longer thought the boy was uncivilized and knew he was educated well. There was no reason not to tell him, but he was unsure if the boy would be able to accept it.</p><p>“Are you sure?” the boy offered the dessert again.</p><p>He really wasn’t into sweets, but the boy offered. Not wanting to refute the boy’s kindness, he reached out to take it.</p><p>Movement caught his eye in the courtyard, the soft glint of metal in the low moonlight. He threw his body against Gaara, pushing him to the ground and knocking the board and tray of food and drink over. Pain radiated from his shoulder, but he ignored it, positioning his body in front of the boy. It was just in time as someone came rushing in from outside, breaking the rice paper door in the process, carrying a katana in his hands</p><p>Neji’s eyes narrowed, using his left hand to divert the blade into his shoulder and using the right to grab the would-be assassin by the neck, lifting him off the ground. Effortlessly, he threw the man back outside with just one arm just as the guards appeared to apprehend the man.</p><p>Neji’s eyes were ice-cold, stepping over the wreckage to the engawa outside. Kakashi appeared, wearing his mask to hide his face. The man immediately got onto a knee. “I apologize for being late, master. There were other intruders on the other side of the manor. We didn’t realize one had slipped by.”</p><p>Neji’s eyes looked over the assassin wearing servant clothing. If he kept his head down and was careful not to reveal his face, he could temporarily hide among the staff in the chaos. The assassin was forced to his knees, swords at his throat. Neji took the sword Kakashi presented him, walking to the assassin. “Who sent you,” he asked.</p><p>The assassin glared up at Neji, that defiant gaze did not please Neji in the slightest. With a glance to a guard, the guard struck the man, bloodying his mouth and a broken tooth to fall out. “If you answer, I will make your death quick.” His voice was chilling and detached, sending fear down the assassin’s spine. The longer he looked at Neji the more fearful he became.</p><p>The assassin attempted to bite down, no doubt on a hidden capsule that would kill him, but Neji would not allow it. With a swift hand, he sliced both cheeks clean through, causing the assassin to cry out. “Remove poison before he kills himself. We can’t allow him to die too early. Pull out his teeth if you have to.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord.” The guards said, saluting.</p><p>Neji turned his back, intending to allow his guards to handle the rest of the situation when the assassin continued to speak.</p><p>“You really are a demon. Your wounds are already healed and you have one in your bed,” the assassin’s eyes flickered to Gaara standing just on the edge of the engawa. “A lord, don’t make me laugh. Are you even a man when you want a man’s sword inside you? Guess you liked it so much back then you couldn’t stop. Hey, you sucked someone off before, why don’t you try me instead of the little demon bo—”</p><p>The assassin couldn’t finish his taunts. His head flew threw the air. Neji still had his blade extended. There was no anger, no embarrassment, or sadness. Just a cold statue as he casually handed the sword back to Kakashi. Clean up this mess and interrogate the others. They must have had help to slip this far into our security.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord.”</p><p>Kakashi left to do as he was told. Neji would have to punish someone for failing at their jobs, but he wasn’t in the mood. He felt cold and empty.</p><p>Haru and Natsu bowed deeply, putting their heads to the ground. “Forgive us for failing you, master,” Natsu said calmly.</p><p>“Because we are lacking, master got hurt,” Haru finished.</p><p>Neji looked down at them. He sighed a little. “How are you lacking? Haru and Natsu have no fighting experience or skill while the enemy is skilled in ninjitsu. Did you let the enemy inside?”</p><p>“No, but we should have moved faster and shielded your body with our own.”</p><p>Really, these children. “I am not so weak to fall to human assassins. A few ants cannot fell a large tree.  Prepare a bath and new clothes for me.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord,” the twins immediately went to work, a serious expression on their faces.</p><p>Finally, Neji could pay attention to the boy. He was staring at Neji with an unreadable expression. It was neither warm nor cold. Neji approached the boy, but the boy took a step back. “Neji… is this your house?”</p><p>Why such a question now of all times? “Yes, I am the master here.”</p><p>The boy went quiet, his gaze wandering downwards. “I am tired. I’m going to sleep.”</p><p>“Shall I escort you back?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” the boy said, backing away at Neji’s approach once more. “Good night.”</p><p>Though he was mildly worried, he didn’t follow. The assassin had targeted Gaara specifically both times, meaning he was the target and their employer knew the boy was here, increasing his certainty that there was indeed a traitor in their midst, but one other thing concerned him even more than that.</p><p>That assassin he had killed knew about his shameful past. He knew about the men who had forced themselves on him back then and even some details. There were few who knew of that past. He was certain the man brought it up to speed up his execution, but the possibility of who his employer was made him uneasy.</p><p>Thankfully, Gaara probably had not understood what the man had said. He had spoken with a heavy Osakan dialect and the words he used were vulgar and highly unlikely they were taught to him by Uzumaki. He didn’t have to hear the curses that man had thrown at the boy or him.</p><p>He went to his room, waiting for Haru to return to undress him.</p><p>This traitor had to be found. He would no longer be patient when there was a fragile boy living with him. No matter how he thought about it, Gaara had to be targeted because of him, and he would not let anyone harm an innocent boy because of his past.</p><p>“Kakashi-san,” he called out quietly. Within seconds, Kakashi appeared before him outside his door. “Make an example out of one of our “guests” but don’t kill him. Make sure they know the future that awaits them should they continue to defy me.”</p><p>“Yes, Hyuuga-sama,” the guard whispered, disappearing like the wind.</p><p>It was said cries could be heard throughout the mountain that night, and for once, Neji thought, “perhaps there should be more.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Diary Entry 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>For once, I am glad you will never read these letters brother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do you remember when we were children? We had snuck outside the palace walls and went into the city. We ran down the streets and hid in alleys when the city guards came by. In one of those alleys we had stumbled into, we saw two men embracing each other. You told me back then to avert my eyes, that it was unsightly. Though you didn’t outwardly condemn them, I knew you did not approve. Since you were against it, so was I, but admittedly I think back to it occasionally.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>While two men embracing is not accepted into our religion, no one never said anything. Since then, I had heard more cases within the palace walls and on the battlefield, but it was often ignored. As long as no one acknowledged it, it was fine. I too turned a blind eye to it back then. After all, God does not smile upon those who engage in sodomy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But brother… I think I realized why I never had the urge to take my wife to bed.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I had always thought of Neji as beautiful. I pushed off that attraction because he looks like a woman, but I can no longer think that. Brother, I lost my breath. He was standing in the moonlight with steam around him. Skin wet with water rolling down his body. There was nothing feminine about that body. Tone muscles, long limbs, and well hung, I… For the first time in my life, I was turned on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hid it from him, and I convinced myself it was a mistake, but as I massaged his scalp that night, I could not help but notice how soft and silky his hair was in my hands. It was so straight, and his strands fell between my fingers like water. I never wanted to stop. And then he wanted to hold my hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He explained how holding hands was different here, that it was something lovers did. It wasn’t until later I realized the word he used meant lover, but at the time he held my hand, I knew that this was not friendship. He looked up at me with such an intense gaze and when he threaded our fingers together, holding my hand, it became too much. I almost kissed him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I knew my attraction was wrong, but I could not seem to stay away. I want to be near him. When I see him struggling or hurting, I want to comfort him. I tried to fight the attraction brother, but I fall into temptation and go back to his side. To make things worse the temptation is too strong. I dreamt of him in a sexual manner. I awoke to stained sheets and soiled clothes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He questioned my strange behavior, but I have no answer to give him. What can I say? That I imagined him in my bed? That I was not even the one taking him but the other way around? How disgusted would he feel, knowing a man wanted him in that way? And shamefully, I have barely thought about the ramifications it will bring to my beliefs and religion. Still, I go to him like I am drawn, unable to fight it. Perhaps, I have grown too dependent on him, but when he is with me, I feel at ease. Gaining that rare, small smile from him makes me feel accomplished and makes my heart flutter. How can I stay away?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then I found out he was the master of this house.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I am honest, I had my suspicions, but I kept making excuses as to why it could not be. He didn’t dress extravagantly. He took his time to attend to my needs. He did not act haughty or entitled. He ate too little. In truth, I refused to see it. I knew I was holding him to what people with money in our country would do or be like, not what the people are like here. Because I was afraid. If I didn’t acknowledge it, then it would be okay.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then someone attacked us. Neji protected me with his body, was injured for me, and I saw a side of him that I had never seen before. It was like looking at a reflection. A cold indifference as he handled the criminal in front of him. The way he executed him with an ice-like beauty and grace, unmoved. That was the look of someone on the battlefield. It was the look of someone who knew no mercy. It was a look I had seen many times on myself during the wars.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The way the guards and servants bowed to him for forgiveness, the way he commanded those around him as he handed the bloodied sword back to the guard, I could no longer deny it. Neji was the one I was sold to.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I… I don’t know if I should feel relieved or betrayed. One hand, Neji has been kind to me. He put me at ease, sat beside me while I was ill, and did his best to help me adapt to this new place, but now I wonder about his intentions. Why would he buy a slave and treat him well? Was there anyone that kind to buy someone and treat them as a guest, never putting them to work or asking compensation? It makes me wonder what he wants from me, if the feelings I have been induced by him, that it was his goal all along to lead me astray.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t want to believe it, and it has thrown my heart into chaos. What should I believe? I am afraid to sleep worried I will have those indecent dreams once more. What should I do? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will try to sleep and, hopefully, God will give me an answer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>May you forgive this unfaithful brother of yours,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gaara</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Distracted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't believe its been so long since my last update. It took me way too long to write this chapter. I blame my family for making me play games.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The boy would not see him.</p><p>In truth, that would not be quite accurate. If Neji wanted to, he could have entered the boy’s room despite the door being jammed, but the look of the boy’s face entered his mind every time he thought about doing so. The way he stepped back away from him; Neji still could not understand. Had he really been that disturbed over an assassin’s death?</p><p>The only person the boy allowed in his room was his tutor, but even then, it was only a short period of time. It came to the point that he had to ask the young man to take food to the boy as he wouldn’t see the servants either.</p><p>What really bothered Neji was how much time he ended up thinking about it. When he saw the boy before, he was a casual passing thought, not thinking too much about him until they ate dinner together. Now, Neji was becoming distracted.</p><p>Did Neji not treat him well? Did he now show him favor? He was a lord and yet he had treated the boy personally, bringing his food, teaching him, cared for him while sick. What other lord was willing to lower himself to servant duties? He had even protected the boy with his own body, and yet he was being treated like this?</p><p>Neji sat pondering this, not realizing how his expression was gradually souring. His work laid forgotten in front of him, and he found he was tapping his knee insistently with his index finger.  It was not long since he had decided to dedicate his efforts to sending the boy home. While he was not expecting the boy to thank him, he did not expect to be treated so coldly either. Granted, the boy was unaware of Neji’s efforts, but he should be able to sense Neji was helping him, he thought, unreasonably annoyed.</p><p>“My lord?” Uchiha called out to him.</p><p>Neji casually looked at him, trying to hide the fact that his mind had drifted once again. “Continue,” he said.</p><p>Uchiha glanced uncertainly at Nara, making it obvious his bluff had not worked. “The bandits have been pushed back to the outskirts of the territory, and they’ve resorted to hit and run tactics. The army is staying near the border to fend them off and has not pursued to avoid offending the neighboring lord. Asuma-san has already sent for permission to cross and eradicate them, but in the meantime, they have set up camp. They are looking forward to your inspection.”</p><p>Right, the inspection. He had forgotten he was supposed to do that. It increased troop morale and let him observe the camp conditions. There was a high possibility that one day, he would have to fight on behalf of the shogunate should he gain favor to prove his loyalty. Until then, he had to break his army down into smaller groups to avoid drawing suspicion of amassing power against the shogunate. Namikaze’s charm and sweetened words were the only reason he was able to even have an appearance of a small force without the shogunate coming down on them for having a private army.</p><p>“And the other three locations? How are they?”</p><p>Uchiha paused. Nara’s mouth twitched like he was struggling not to smirk or make a comment. “The other regiments are doing well. There have been no trouble or inquiries about them. At times they join forces with the garrison to repel demon attacks as well as bandits. As far as anyone knows, they are under orders of different lords.”</p><p>Uchiha must have already informed him about the other regiments, answering for both of his advisors’ reactions just then. It was bad enough that he was distracted, but it was worse he was caught.</p><p>“My lord,” Sugo said outside the door, Seiryu-sama has arrived.</p><p>Perfect timing. “We will resume this meeting at a later time. I will send word for when.”  Neji used the opportunity to escape, getting up to receive his guest.</p><p> Seiryu was not waiting in the manor. Rather, Sugo brought him to the training grounds near the shadow guard quarters where Seiryu was watching the guards from the distance as to not interrupt their training. “Beautiful night is it not?” he asked Neji without looking to greet him. His eyes were focused on one individual training the new recruits, Himura Takeshi.</p><p>Neji had heard rumors that the woman Seiryu had been searching for had actually been one of his guards in disguise that night. He had thought Seiryu would lose interest and search for another bride, but he had not. Rather, he was intrigued as he observed the object of his fascination.</p><p>Neji could not say anything about the behavior. Gods had their own way of thinking. While Seiryu looked human, he was anything but. Under that pretty human shell was a massive dragon whose form was large and terrifying. The seas and storms bent to his will. How could Neji impose human norms on him when it was beyond his understanding. If he chose a male as his partner….</p><p>Neji looked away. Takeshi was a smart one. He would leave the situation for Takeshi to decide. Seiryu would lose nothing taking a male lover as a god, for how could a human interfere with a god? It was Takeshi who would take the scorn.  After all, it wasn’t natural for men to have such relations with each other. It was just Takeshi’s misfortune that he had attracted a god’s attention as saying no would be difficult without inciting his wrath.</p><p>“If you say it is, then it must be true,” Neji finally replied. “The trip must have been difficult for you, should I prepare a room for you to rest in?”</p><p>“No need. I wish to stay and appreciate the world’s beauty. I find it has been a while since I have done so.”</p><p>“Such scenery cannot be appreciated without a fine wine to accompany it.” Neji glanced at Natsu who left to summon alcohol for them to enjoy.</p><p>“As always, you are quite astute.”</p><p>Natsu returned quickly with other servants in tow, bringing them cushions to sit on and a small table to place between them. Sake and snacks were provided. The additional servants that had come with Natsu remained on standby as their lord and the god drank, watching the training for a short while.</p><p>Seiryu was not one to talk unnecessarily. While he dabbled at playing human, using the proper courtesy to appear polite, he preferred quiet and solitude when he could afford it. Part of that aloofness and distance is what set Seiryu apart from those around him. Neji offered something Seiryu wanted, so he put on the human façade to get it. If Neji was bored with life after 300 years, he could not imagine what it was like living 20 times longer.</p><p>He was left wondering if Seiryu had only arrived to watched Takeshi. While Seiryu was here, Neji could not leave the god unattended. Regardless, it was not like he had anything better to do. He was still waiting to hear back from the guards he sent out to gather information on Gaara’s homeland and had little to do, so there was no inconvenience entertaining the god, but he couldn’t breathe in Seiryu’s presence. A mistake could cost him the lives of many, and he was a slave to the god’s whims. It was fortunate that Seiryu had a good temperament, but Neji’s guard could not waver at any time while in his presence.</p><p>As they watched, Neji’s mind ended up drifting to the boy once more. Perhaps a gift would lure him out? A new sword perhaps? He had appeared to enjoy swordsmanship. But if Neji couldn’t even get him to open the door, how could he gift him with anything? He unknowingly began tapping his finger in thought, missing Seiryu’s sidelong glance.</p><p>Seiryu leaned over, picking up his cup of sake. “Has your mate been well?”  the god asked.</p><p>Neji tried not to show any reaction, though he regarded the god with suspicion. “He is healthy,” he replied vaguely.</p><p>“I have overheard some of the servants discussing how to convince the young master into opening the door,” Seiryu commented casually, taking a sip from his cup.</p><p>Overheard or snooped. He was never certain how closely Seiryu kept an eye on him and what things Neji did that piqued his interest. Unable to refute the claim, Neji had to go with it. “He received a bit of a shock. He has locked himself in his room for the time being.”</p><p>“I see.” Seiryu extended his cup toward Neji which Neji refilled for him. “If I am correct, he is likely missing his home. Previous wives, especially those who were unwilling, did the same thing. If they are left alone, it can cause a sickness of the mind.”</p><p>“He has been here for over two months. Why would he be acting like this now?”</p><p>“Perhaps the shock you mentioned. Or maybe just a dream he had. Who can know the minds of others?”</p><p>Neji sipped at his cup. Could the boy’s behavior be caused by something that simple? It was not something Neji could relate to or even understand well. “What would you recommend?”</p><p>Seiryu took a second to watch the training, a small smile slipping on his serene face when Takeshi outmaneuvered a new recruit with ease and tripped the recruit up. “Take him out of these walls. Let him see Japan and experience it for himself. He will never see Japan as his home if he is never made familiar with it.”</p><p>There was logic in what Seiryu was saying, but it was easier said than done. With the boy’s appearance, it would be even more difficult. “Thank you for bestowing some of your wisdom upon me. I will be sure to consider your suggestion carefully.”</p><p>“Good. You should take your elder’s words to heart.” He placed his cup down. “But that is not why I am helping you.”</p><p>“Of course, one should work for what is given.” Neji was already trying to figure out what it was Seiryu was after. It was not often Seiryu was so direct.</p><p>Seiryu’s expression softened as Takeshi dismissed the new recruits from training. “His name,” he said softly. “I want to know his name.”</p><p>Neji’s eyes shifted to the guard in question, who was using a cloth to wipe the sweat from his face. Even as a guard, traces of his noble upbringing still came through in his actions, having a dignified air that not even Neji could match. The difference between being born nobility and claiming it for yourself he supposed. Still, he did not see what it was that made the god so fixated on him. He was quiet and obedient, someone who would not stick out if not for his appearance, something Seiryu would have no interest in.</p><p>“He is called Himura Takeshi. Written with the characters for warrior and intention.”</p><p>“Takeshi,” he repeated, savoring the word. “How fitting.”</p><p>Neji quietly sipped his wine, waiting for when this intruding god would leave, unfortunately, that did not appear to be the case when the god suddenly said, “I will go meet him. Please go about your business.”</p><p>The god had basically dismissed him in his own house, treating him as an accompanying servant. It made his jaw clench at the insult; however, Neji kept his displeasure off his face. At least he didn’t have to entertain the lord any longer, though he would have to have someone keep an eye on the god from a distance. “If you need any assistance, please do not hesitate to summon me.”</p><p>Seiryu gave a mild wave of the hand, already on his way to see Takeshi. It was definitely the rudest Seiryu had ever been to him. The god’s mind was focused entirely elsewhere. Then again, a lot depended on Seiryu’s ability to have a bride. The deadline for the ceremony had already passed and his powers would slowly weaken until he ceased to exist. A weakened Seiryu was just as dangerous as a powerful one. Just in case, he should prepare for both drought and floods depending on how the situation turned out in the end.</p><p>Neji stood, looking over the training grounds, now empty. Could he really bring the boy outside these walls? It was a large risk. And where could they go?  Any place luxurious would draw attention, and he still had to leave soon for the inspection.</p><p>“Master,” Sugo bowed, “has Seiryu-sama already left?”</p><p>Neji blinked, not realizing he had walked back towards the main house in his contemplations. His distracted mind really was becoming a problem. “He is doing as he wishes as he normally does. Has the boy eaten today?”</p><p>“No. Nijima-sama’s honored guest still refuses to allow us in. I apologize for my incompetence.”</p><p>A couple of weeks ago, Neji may have thought of punishing Sugo for not correcting the problem, but the thought of any of the servants forcing the boy to do anything against his will made him uncomfortable. “Prepare some desserts and sake. I will see him.”</p><p>“If I may be so bold to speak, Nijima-sama, you are to have a long journey tomorrow and will be expected to make an appearance in front of your men. Should you not take your time to rest while you can? Us servants cannot follow you and there will be no town for you to seek pleasures from.”</p><p>That was pretty bold for Sugo to say, but he was also right. Part of the journey would require several days of traveling during the day. While his shadow guard trained to resist the pull of sleep, he was weak to it. Especially since he had not had to endure it on a consistent basis for a little over 200 years. Any resistance he had built up had rescinded with time. However, he did not want to leave things as it was with the boy. Not with Seiryu’s words lingering about the sickness of the mind.</p><p>Neji stopped on his trip back to the house, Sugo and the twins stopping when he did. The inspection.</p><p>There was no town nearby. They wouldn’t have to worry too much about travelers, and they would be surrounded by loyal soldiers. It was protected, and the soldiers were wary about spreading any rumors. It was outside the walls, though it wouldn’t be very comfortable. Would he be satisfied with something that most would find boring?</p><p>“What would you think if I brought him along?” Neji asked, missing the side glance the twins gave each other.</p><p>“If master believes it is a good idea, then I do as well,” Sugo replied after some initial hesitation as well.</p><p>Neji’s lips thinned. Sugo was very obedient and often didn’t deviate from what he suggested. Was it really the best thing to do?</p><p>“If I may speak,” Haru spoke up quietly, keeping his head down. “Fresh air is good for the body. If you are concerned about Seiryu-sama’s words, then I believe taking him along will improve his health and rest his mind.”</p><p>Natsu watched his twin silently. It was rare for one of them to give their personal opinion on something. Many thought they were mute for how little they spoke. Neji waited to hear if Natsu would say something, but the second twin did not offer any words, choosing to keep his thoughts hidden.</p><p>Neji contemplated the idea a moment longer. He really didn’t want to leave this matter for when he returned. What if the situation worsened while he was away?</p><p>“Send word to the camp to expect his arrival and prepare some bags for him. He will leave with us in the morning.”</p><p>“Right away, Nijima-sama,” they all bowed to him, Natsu and Sugo leaving to follow his orders. Haru stayed behind, attending to him as if he had not spoken at all.  He was slightly more demure compared to his brother. One of the very few differences between them. While they didn’t speak of their preference in chores, Neji had noticed Haru tended to stick to his side to attend to his personal needs while Natsu often did the errands that required leg work or harsher conditions. A kind way of saying Haru had a softer personality compared to the two. Even so, it was not often the twins did not share the same opinion, and it appeared Haru viewed this situation differently than his brother.</p><p>“Haru, how long have served me?” Neji asked, stopping just as the manor came into view past the trees.</p><p>“My lord, my brother and I started serving you at fourteen years of age and have stayed by your side for 57 years,” he replied, respectively.</p><p>Neji’s eyes drifted to where he knew Gaara’s room was located. “It does not seem so long ago,” he said quietly. “What do you think of the boy?”</p><p>Haru was quiet for a long while, but not out of defiance. He was carefully thinking of how to reply to him. “The boy… I believe it has finally occurred to him how unlikely it is he is to return home and is grieving. He has no one to rely on here except for master. It would be hard for him to come to terms with that as he seems to be a prideful individual.”</p><p>Neji leaned against a tree, shooting Haru a casual glance. Haru hadn’t answered his question. He was keeping his personal opinion to himself, possibly to avoid angering him. If it was any other servant, he would have questioned further and demanded to know what they were hiding, but the twins were different. They were the ones he trusted the most, knowing how far their loyalties lie, and how they would take their own life without a second thought should he order it without a single word.</p><p>His eyes drifted back to the boy’s room. Haru was right though. The boy had no one to rely on here, and he was very prideful. He did not like to show weakness. The servants served on Neji’s command, not the boy’s. The servants that served him rotated, like they would a guest, making it difficult to garner trust from the boy or build any personal relationship. If Neji was to leave or become unavailable for any reason, there would be no one for the boy to turn to.</p><p>“Haru, you have pledged your life to me, correct?”</p><p>Haru stiffened and for a brief second, panic flashed in his eyes before it was suppressed; however, his shoulders remained stiff when he answered. “Yes, master, even the gods could not stop me.”</p><p>“I did not mean to make believe I was questioning your loyalty. I just wished to hear your pledge once more before my next order.”</p><p>Haru almost looked up in his curiosity, the slightest tilt before he corrected and kept his eyes down.</p><p>“I order you to attend to the boy personally.”</p><p>Haru didn’t react. If Neji had not known him for all his life, he may have thought the order did not bother him. Haru merely bowed with a stoic expression, saying, “Understood, Master.”</p><p>Unable to see his servant uneasy, Neji added, “You are the only one I trust with this task. I know of your skills, and you and your brother are the only ones I fully trust not to betray me. With the traitor in our midst, I can only entrust you or Natsu with this task. When he is sent home or when he dies from age, you may return to my side if you wish.”</p><p>Haru dropped to his knees, bowing deeply. “I am honored to receive such an important task from Master. I will fulfill this task without fail.”</p><p>“Then you have your orders.”</p><p>Haru stood, bowing and excusing himself to go to the boy’s side to serve. Haru would have to gain the boy’s trust and coax him out before it was time for them to leave for the inspection. He trusted Haru would be more than capable of completing this task.</p><p>Speaking of which, Neji needed to discuss how to get the boy to the military camp safely without attracting too much attention. As much as he didn’t want to, he would need to speak with Nara.</p><p>Feeling a headache coming on, he allowed himself a small sigh. Perhaps he would drink a few more cups first.</p><hr/><p>Haru had a difficult night. When Neji had sent him to attend to the boy, it was still fairly early into the night. Haru had been treated like the rest of the servants, kept waiting outside. Neji had come by occasionally to check his progress, seeing Haru kneeled, quietly trying to coax the boy out of hiding. He never left that shoji door even as Neji went to bed to get a couple of hours of sleep before the trip.</p><p>It was a pleasant surprise when Neji was informed by Natsu as he was getting dressed that shortly after Neji had gone to sleep, the boy had allowed Haru in. The weight that had come off Neji’s shoulders had been surprisingly heavy. While he knew it would take a long time to starve oneself, he had been more concerned about the boy’s lack of eating than he wanted to admit.</p><p>The sun had been up for a short period at this point, so Neji was naturally tired, constantly fighting the pull of sleep. He should have prepared a week in advance, staying up during the day to build a little resistance, but work had other plans for him, keeping his night schedule the entire time.</p><p>He was overseeing everything being prepared. Nara was coming with him, leaving his work at the manor to be overseen by Uchiha Itachi. Neji was dressed in traveling gear, wearing a horse-riding hakama with a hakamashita rather than a kimono. The material was lighter and easier to ride with compared to his formal gear, made with cotton rather than silk.  He had grown fond of the cotton material though the trend had slightly changed in recent years. Since the start of the Edo period, the hakama came with a raised backboard design. Perhaps it was his old soul, but he preferred the original design without it.  He also wore his jinbaori over it, a black sleeveless jacket with ornate dark blue and gold design on its lapels.</p><p>Normally, he would not have bothered with the jinbaori. It drew attention, especially in recent years as the designs became more ornate to show off a samurai or daimyo’s wealth rather than for the practical use it had during the Muromachi period. However, they intended to flaunt that wealth and power to keep others away even if it drew the initial eye. It was integral for their plan to sneak the boy outside these walls. Speaking of the boy…</p><p>Haru appeared, leading the boy to them. The boy was dressed in a woman’s kimono, brightly colored red and white cloth with gold flowers embroidered onto the fabric with a matching gold obi. His hair was tied back in a bun, keeping his hair off the collar. He once more wore a straw hat, but this time, a sheer curtain that reached just below his waist was attached to keep his face hidden. It was because of this curtain that made the boy’s face mostly obscured from view. Dressed as a woman, no one would be too curious as to why he kept his face hidden.</p><p>Neji went over to the boy, stopping just short of reaching him. The boy stopped as well, keeping his eyes averted from Neji’s form. Why wouldn’t the boy look at him? “I apologize for the inconvenience,” he said, referring to the boy’s attire. It would be rather humiliating and shameful for a grown man to dress like this. “But this is the best way to keep you safe. Please bear with it for a while.”</p><p>The boy turned his head, only seen because of the curtain’s movements. “We are… going on vacation?” he asked.</p><p>Vacation? Is that what Haru had told him to open the door?  It was one way of looking at it he supposed. “I will be working; however, it will be a vacation for you. A chance to see Japan and the people who live here.”</p><p>“You will be working?” the boy asked. It may have just been Neji’s imagination, but the boy almost sounded disappointed.</p><p>“It is a military camp. I have responsibilities I have to attend to.”</p><p>“I see.” The boy fell quiet.</p><p>It seemed too soon for the boy to go quiet again, but he was grateful the boy at least seemed healthy. “You will be riding with me,” he informed him.</p><p>The boy’s head tilted just a little in his confusion. At times, Neji really did wonder how much he really understood when he spoke. He led the boy to his horse and without permission, he hoisted the boy up onto the saddle, causing a startled noise to leave the boy’s lips in surprise. Neji then got onto the horse himself, keeping the boy from slipping off as he was forced to ride side-saddle with the kimono.</p><p>The boy grabbed Neji’s arm, flustered as he tried to adjust himself on the saddle. “Do we have to?” he asked Neji, clearly uncomfortable with the seating arrangement.</p><p>Neji wrapped his arms around the boy to reach the reins, trying not to think of how intimate the position was. “Would you rather stay?” he asked.</p><p>The boy quickly shook his head no, much to Neji’s secret relief. He did not want the boy to hole himself up in his room again. With both of them settled, he urged the horse forward. The rest of his entourage mounted and followed him out of the gates, starting their journey.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So Himura Takeshi. In reality, this was originally Itachi's character. I wrote a whole side story and everything of how Seiryu and he met, and their whole relationship. However, when posting, I gave Itachi, Shisui's original post and vice versa. Since I didn't think people really wanted to read an Itachi romance with an OC, I decided to leave Himura Takeshi in tribute to that original storyline, that way I can also leave that plot line done with and not distract from the story. If anyone wants that plot line back in or want that short story published instead, let me know.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Arrival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Merry Christmas. Honestly, this is only the first half of the chapter and it's a bit rushed, but I wanted to get something out for Christmas. I hope you all enjoy it though I feel not much happens (which was why I was going to put more originally).  Enjoy your holidays no matter what you celebrate (or if you don't celebrate, your free time off).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The boy either was not used to riding side saddle or he had never ridden a horse before. He was constantly adjusting after the first couple of hours, needing to use Neji’s arm to do so. It was a lot of physical contact Neji was not used to. He tried to ignore how their bodies were touching, but the boy was pressed against him in his arms. It was a constant distraction.</p><p>It may have been Neji’s uncomfortable state that kept him awake as long as he was, but with the steady rhythm of the horse’s gait and the people around him to protect him, his mind began to slip and he teetered on the edge of sleep. There were times where he couldn’t recall when they had reached certain points in the trip. His lack of sleep the night before did not help the situation, but it could not be helped. For the next three days, he needed to adjust to a full day schedule.</p><p>They stopped once the sun became low to make camp. It was a five-day trip to the camp. Once they came to a stop, Haru immediately took went to Gaara’s side, helping him down from the horse. Neji dismounted as well, handing off his horse to another. “It will be a short while before the food is prepared. You should take the time to rest while you can.”</p><p>The boy nodded, walking off with Haru dutifully following behind him. Despite being together the entire day, they barely spoke to one another. It did not appear that the boy desired his company any longer. He found himself frowning as he went to talk with the head guard. He didn’t understand the boy. He followed him when Neji didn’t want his company, but now that they were together, he acted like he didn’t want to be near him.</p><p>Haru, of course, kept the boy within the camp and brought him when it was time to eat. Given his status as Neji’s mate, he was seated beside him, the only person who had a cushion to sit on while the others sat on the ground. Neji listened to their idle talk and gossip, all of them trying not to get a peek at Gaara’s face. Many of them had not gotten to see the boy as he was on a daytime schedule and was often in his room. With the veil covering his face, they were still denied a good look, drawing their curiosity more.</p><p>The boy felt the weight of their stares, keeping quiet and keeping his head down. Given his attire, and seated at Neji’s side, perhaps he had realized how it looked, that he was supposed to be Neji’s lover. If possible, the boy seemed more distant while he ate and excused himself to go to sleep the moment his tent was prepared.</p><p>The next four days were similar to the first. The only difference was that Neji was slowly shifting to a day schedule. He didn’t like the feeling, feeling weak. Realistically speaking, he was as strong as any other human, but it was a far cry from his vampiric strength, and he felt vulnerable because he could feel the difference. Because he was more awake, and therefore more aware, he could really notice how close the boy was. He radiated heat compared to Neji’s slightly cooler body. He had regained balance on the horse as well, not holding onto him as often as he had the first day, looking ahead confidently. No matter what, he did not seem to hold any shame, whether he was riding with Neji or dressed in women’s clothing. He held himself proudly.</p><p>The only time he didn’t was when he had to act the part as a woman. For the most part, their plan worked. With Neji’s house flag waving as they moved and his attire, people recognized him as a high ranking nobleman. It attracted the eye of people they passed, mostly those working the rice patties or other commoners doing manual labor, but none dared approach them. Those they passed on the road stopped to make way for them, keeping their heads down or stopping to bow as they passed to show their respect. There was only one other high-ranking person traveling that had stopped to make conversation, a high ranking noble. Neji recognized the crest on his jinburi as a house that served very closely with Tokugawa. He acted familiar with Neji as well as talked down to him, not recognizing Neji’s house crest. It was not a surprise. Neji kept his presence obscured from the public for the most part. His only presence in the capital was through Namikaze. Of course, the young lord would think Neji was of lower station than him.</p><p>Gaara kept his head down, turning his head away from the lord, turning into Neji. An outsider would see it as shy behavior. The young lord even laughed, commenting on Neji’s shy lover, but a sharp comment from Neji kept the lord from prying. Neji’s uncertain status and background kept the young lord from walking all over him too much. Something about Neji’s demeanor and confidence gave him the impression he wasn’t a small house to be messed with. Rather than pressing the issue, he left it be and eventually said his goodbye. If Neji had been alone, he would have shown that young man his place.</p><p>But the last night before they arrived did come, and the boy continued to ignore him. Why would he not speak to him? Had he done something wrong after all? He did not seem mad other than his silence. Was he bored? Perhaps he should have just left the boy in the manor where he would be comfortable rather than this long and arduous journey.</p><p>He watched the boy walk back to his tent with Haru, his eyes not leaving him until his form disappeared inside.</p><p>“My lord, did you want to feed tonight?” Natsu asked quietly.</p><p>Neji’s eyes darted to Natsu. Perhaps he was thinking too much. He could use some stress relief. “Yes.” Neji stood, going to his own tent. This was something familiar he could relate to. A situation he knew what to expect.</p><p>A bed was already prepared for him, so he undressed himself as he waited for Natsu to procure him some food. It was weird not having Haru by his side. Normally, he’d have at least one twin at his disposal. It had been a while since he undressed himself.</p><p>He was tempted to collapse onto the bed, but he restrained himself, sitting down elegantly and waiting for his meal to be brought to him. A single lamp lit the tent. He could hear the guards standing sentry outside. It brought back memories and thoughts he rather not recall.</p><p>It was a relief when a guard pulled back the tent’s flap, letting a young woman enter. She looked fairly well dressed, wearing a cute blue kimono. Her make up was rather light and her hair done simply. She probably wasn’t from a whorehouse but didn’t have much money either. Honestly, her background didn’t matter. But rather than getting straight to business, he decided to release some stress.</p><p>He never knew what his servants told the humans they lured here. The only instruction he ever gave them was that he preferred females. It must have been something sexual related. Perhaps that a lord had seen them and took a fancy to them. Perhaps the women they brought thought this was their chance to marry into money. Or maybe they were just whores whose contracts they bought. He didn’t know. He didn’t care. All he knew was that most of them started to strip when they entered his quarters or did something to try to please or pleasure him. They came if he waved them over and that’s all that mattered. He never had to say a word.</p><p>Most of the time he would just feed, but he needed some tension release. He allowed this woman to pleasure him. Leaning back with his eyes closed as she worked him over with her hands and mouth. He didn’t make any sounds of pleasure. The only sign he felt anything at all was slightly labored breathing and a stiff member.</p><p>The girl’s existence barely registered with him. He may as well have been touching himself though he was above such lowly actions. As she worked, his mind drifted to his brother. He had let go, but it did not seem his heart had. As his thoughts started to go down a dark path, he forcibly changed the direction of his thoughts to the boy, thinking of ways that could change his mood for the better. What could he do to get him to smile at him as the boy had done with Uzumaki?</p><p>He couldn’t think of anything, and it irritated him. Why did he even care so much?</p><p>Still, the woman served her purpose. Some tension eased from his body when she finished, and her blood didn’t taste horrible either. Filled with nourishment, even his sour mood was slightly improved. He felt stronger, his senses sharper. It was hard not to enjoy the feeling partaking in a meal brought. Natsu came to dispose of the body the moment he was finished, and Neji settled in for the night. They would arrive at the camp tomorrow. Maybe the boy’s attitude would change after they arrived.</p><hr/><p>Neji was up early the next morning. He wanted to arrive at the camp by mid-afternoon.  Early enough for the troops to see him and to discuss a few things with Asuma before nightfall.</p><p>He was seeing to his horse when the boy approached him on his own. The past four days, the boy had not come to him unless it was time to leave or eat. Unexpectedly, the boy asked, “Can I help?”</p><p>There wasn’t much he could do dressed the way he was, but Neji gave him superficial tasks anyway, not wanting to turn him away. After avoiding him for nearly two weeks, he was now trying to stay close to Neji, doing his task as close to him as possible. He didn’t understand. Even as they mounted to leave, the boy was gently holding onto his arm to keep himself steady, but he hadn’t needed to do that since the second day. Perhaps the boy had just gotten bored and decided to approach him again. Foreigners' way of thinking was beyond him. He never tried to understand it in the past because it made no sense. Why would it now?</p><p>They arrived at the camp earlier than expected. The camp was hidden in the mountain forest the large trees obscuring the camp from view. Neji saw the escorts waiting for them at the edge of the forest, ready to guide them. Earlier they had sent someone ahead to alert the camp of their arrival. The escorts bowed as they approached, eying the “woman” who was sharing his horse as discreetly as possible.</p><p>Greeting him, they guided them into the forest. The escort consisted of four people of varying ages. One looked fresh-faced and bright eyes, with klutzy mannerisms. likely a new recruit. Another looked much older, weathered and battle-hardened with a scar on his lip. He was more than likely a veteran as he addressed Neji with great respect and appreciation but with a sense of ease. He had probably at some point fought alongside Neji, allowing him to be so at ease in front of him, compared to the nervous behavior of the new recruit upon seeing Neji. The other two were somewhere in the middle age-wise. Not a new recruit, but not familiar with Neji’s presence to the degree the veteran was, very uptight and afraid of making a mistake in front of him.</p><p>Neji followed them to the camp, holding the reigns tighter. As the camp came into view, he projected confidence, holding his head high, posture straight. The soldiers were lined up to greet him, presenting themselves as he entered the camp, Kashima Asuma waiting for him with a smile. The soldiers yelled out their greeting, as Asuma approached Neji on his horse. “I hope your journey was pleasant, my lord,” Asuma said, dressed in his armor.</p><p>“Pleasant enough,” Neji replied dismounting. Neji helped Gaara down, placing his hands on his waist and picking him up. The boy inhaled sharply, holding onto Neji’s arms. It was kind of cute. “However, the trip was long, and Gaara-san is likely tired.”</p><p>Asuma’s eyes flickered to the boy, curiosity in his eyes. Asuma had not seen the boy since the night he arrived and not for long. Now that he didn’t have to worry about being on guard, he had a chance to show some of his curiosity. “Of course, however, his tent is not yet prepared. Due to lack of supplies, we have been forced an additional soldier to share each tent. We are procuring one, but it will not arrive until tomorrow, so we are trying to move some people around to make one available.”</p><p>The supply problem. Right. “We can discuss this further in my quarters. For now, set up the tent we have been traveling with for him to rest in.”</p><p>Asuma started to direct the others to do just that, but just as Neji was about to move away, a hand stopped him. The boy was hesitantly holding onto his sleeve. “If there is no tent… can I share with Neji?” He asked quietly.</p><p>The other soldiers could not hear him, but Asuma could, his eyes widening with surprise. Neji was in even worse condition, lost for words, and unsure of how to even react. So he just stared at the boy, whose cheeks reddened as he kept his gaze down. Why would the boy ask something like that?</p><p>“I do not want to cause trouble… I can share if it is with Neji…”</p><p>He was troubling him by making such a request. Why would he ask out of the blue when it was the boy who had been avoiding him?</p><p>“If I may speak,” Haru said, gaining everyone’s attention. “I believe what Gaara-sama is trying to say, is that the master and his associates are already very busy. Since he wasn’t expected to come, he doesn’t want to trouble anyone further but does not believe it would be appropriate if he asked to share a tent with others. Is that what you were trying to say, Gaara-sama.”</p><p>The boy nodded, but his cheeks were still red.</p><p>That made sense. The boy was supposed to be his mate, he couldn’t share with anyone unless it was with Neji, and the boy did seem like someone who did not like to cause too much inconvenience for Neji. But how would the boy know he was Neji’s mate? Did Haru tell him? Or was the boy just comfortable with him enough to ask to share a tent?</p><p>Still, another sharing his tent, he had not been put in such a situation since he was newly turned, sharing with Jiraiya shortly after his turn. The boy’s status as his mate and the soldiers seeing him come in with a “woman” on his horse only to enter his tent, it would harm his reputation amongst the soldiers.</p><p>“There is no tent more protected than yours, my lord,” Natsu spoke up. Just loud enough for a few soldiers to overhear. “If an assassin were to target our guest again, he would be safest by your side. Your tent is the hardest to access and the most secure. Since the honored guest is still in shock and frightened, he may feel safest by my lord’s side despite the inconvenience to you both. It would also give my lord time to ensure the camp is secured.”</p><p>Natsu’s quick thinking was appreciated. The gossip would spread the moment Neji left their sight. Seeing him and the boy on his horse, the soldiers would talk. Natsu not only directed how the gossip would develop, but it also gave the soldier’s an excuse as to why Neji may share his tent with another without harming his reputation.</p><p>To further protect his image and to give the boy a little more freedom, Neji lifted the boy’s hat from his head, and therefore the veil, showing his foreigner status. Alarm crossed the boy’s face and even the soldiers could not keep the gossip contained any longer as murmurs went through the crowd.</p><p>A sharp reprimand from Asuma silenced the crowd.</p><p>Neji handed the hat to Haru who took it, but his eyes were on the boy as he addressed him. “As a soldier blessed by the gods, I am fortunate the gods have further bestowed a messenger to share their wisdom with me. I would be remiss if I did not do my all to ensure your safety and comfort. If staying with me will put you at ease, then I would be honored to provide that comfort for you.”</p><p>Confusion was on the boy’s face, but he dared not ask and ruin Neji and the twin’s hard work with the cover they had provided.</p><p>Neji looked at Asuma. “Since he is someone I vowed to protect, I expect the same from everyone. He has Seiryu-sama’s blessing and should be treated well.”</p><p>“Of course, Nijima-sama. I’ll ensure every soldier treats him as if he was you,” Asuma bowed as did the rest of the army behind him. At least now Gaara’s looks will be attributed to being from the realm of the gods. Since the army was familiar with spiritual beings, and they have likely never seen a foreigner like him before, they could chalk his features to being from another realm with his words.</p><p>“Haru, take him to my tent and have him change into something more comfortable to move around in.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord,” Haru bowed. When he righted himself, his eyes connected with his brothers. Something weird happened. The twins often communicated without talking. But the look they shared was one Neji had never seen. Haru looked away first and Natsu seemed to quietly bristle before turning his gaze downward, waiting for Neji to give his next order to him. Did… did the twins just disagree?</p><p>No, he was probably overthinking. They never disagreed, not to the extent of showing it. It must have been something else. “Asuma-san, let discuss further issues in private.”</p><p>Asuma obliged, leading him to the war tent to talk.</p><p>Despite the supply shortage, the army’s morale was high. Recently, they had managed to drive away not only the bandits that were plaguing the area but a medium level demon that had been praying on travelers in the mountains. Though there were losses, the soldiers were happy with their victory and were excited to show off and perform their talents for their lord who had come to see them.</p><p>Some demonstration of his skills would raise their morale even more as he taught them something new and shared some of his knowledge in battle tactics. This younger generation of soldiers had never been to war, and likely never would. Finding them work was becoming increasingly difficult and ensuring they did not become lazy an even more difficult challenge. Without battles, there were few chances to gain any experience. Demon hunting required different skills than fighting on a battlefield. The best he could do was run mock battles and exercises and share his own experiences.</p><p>Asuma thankfully kept the brief short.  While Neji was successfully staying awake during the day now, it was still difficult and draining. Trying to sleep at night to save his strength for the day was even more so. Tomorrow would be a light day. He would inspect the camp and watch some training sessions. Allowing himself to familiarize himself with the camp and soldiers. It also gave him one more day to pull himself together before he had to directly confront the soldiers and bestow them his own teachings.</p><p>Neji went to his tent thinking of the problems at hand. Though tired, dealing with problems was familiar to him. Though supplies were lacking, it wasn’t dire. Kurenai and Itachi had been quick on their feet and managed to pull together enough to get the army by until more could be procured. On the contrary, his only real concern was the possible traitor at his manor. He had debated diligently whether or not he should cancel this trip. Without his presence there, the manor would be vulnerable, suitable for spies to take advantage of his absence. Which is one reason he was glad he decided to take the boy with him. If assassins could get so far onto the property with him there, he did not want to think what would happen while he was gone.</p><p>The interrogation of the spies yielded no results either. They held their tongues until their deaths, and Neji still had no idea why they were after the boy. Taking the boy with him turned out to be the best solution after all.</p><p>A guard pulled back the tent flap for him and he walked into the spacious tent. Normal soldiers shared a large tent, sleeping on cots with virtually no privacy. His tent was luxurious in that it had a single, comfortable futon, and a chair and table for him to work. While not the most comfortable place to stay, it was several levels above what others had.</p><p>The boy was standing in the center of the tent, changed into a male kimono. At Neji’s entrance, he turned. His body tensed, and he quickly averted his eyes. “Welcome home,” he said.</p><p>A bit odd to say since they were not exactly home, but Neji’s eyes softened, accepting the sentiment. “Are you more comfortable?”</p><p>The boy nodded, peering at him and then looking away. “Haru-kun took care of me.”</p><p>Haru-kun? Neji did not believe he ever heard anyone address Haru so familiarly. While it was true the twins had no family name due to their father being an orphan and not belonging to any family or clan that he was aware of and later being a shadow guard who had no need for family names, no one except Neji and their mother ever addressed them. As the twins worked directly under him, they only answered to him and delivered his orders, making their status in the Nijima manor rather high though they were the youngest servants there. So few spoke to the twins as they would not answer or acknowledge anyone but Neji. Hearing such familiarity from the boy felt wrong. He didn’t like it.</p><p> “I am happy that he is serving you well.” His eyes shot over to Haru who was standing off to the side with his head tilted down.</p><p>The boy went quiet again, so Neji took the time to dress for bed with the assistance of Natsu. He barely noticed the boy turned his back to him as he did so. Nudity was common in Japan. Men would often bath together, so it did not bother him to change in front of the boy, but the boy had twice turned away. Perhaps it was not common from where he was from. Either way, it was reassuring that the boy did not seem to have an interest in him. It made sharing a tent much easier.</p><p>He slipped into his night robe, finding it odd to be dressing for bed as the sun was setting. He looked at the boy in the corner of his eye. “You can sleep on the futon,” he commented as Natsu finished with his hair.</p><p>“And you?” The boy asked. It occurred to Neji as he shooed Natsu and Haru away with a hand. The boy had only talked about Haru once. It was the first time he ever spoke of someone to Neji and he had used an honorific. A familiar one but one none the less, yet when he addressed Neji, though the boy knew Neji’s status, the boy’s speech had not changed.  There was no honorific, nor formality in his language.</p><p>“The futon is meant for one person.” With the shortage of supplies, he did not want to call for extra bedding and take it away from the soldiers who could use it. He had slept in worst conditions, having no bed made no difference to him.</p><p>The boy finally turned around a little, taking a peek before fully turning around. “We can sleep together?”</p><p>Neji’s lips thinned. Immediately taking a seat beside the futon. “It would be inappropriate to share.”</p><p>“Inappropriate?” The boy kneeled beside him. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>How could he explain it easily?</p><p>He put his hands in his sleeves, crossing his legs. Being in a military tent once more, his more dignified appearance became a little sloppy, his noble façade cracking a little. The environment was more familiar to him than a large house with servants. Though the habits he had forcibly ingrained in him could not be easily forgotten, his original upbringing peeked through the cracks, slouching just a little as he thought.</p><p>“Inappropriate means something that is not right. People would be mad or disapproving of your actions.”</p><p>“Why would sharing between friends be bad?” The boy asked.</p><p>It wasn’t. Two males sharing was not an issue. It was the fact they were mates. Just that word still hung around Neji like a noose ready to strangle him.</p><p>“The journey must have been difficult for you,” he said softly. “You should go to sleep.”</p><p>The boy stayed kneeled in front of Neji. His eyes staring at where Neji’s hands would be. The boy was not an emotional person; however, sadness seemed to radiate off him. “Okay,” he finally said. He sounded despondent, and he moved to climb under the covers.</p><p>Neji blew out the lamp and rained sitting upright, closing his eyes. Falling asleep was not an easy task. His body was refusing to sleep with the sun. His strength was overflowing and his energy restless. His mind was just as active refusing to settle down which led to him thinking.</p><p>The boy’s soft snores filled the tent, and Neji could not help but focus on it. With his night vision, he could easily make out the boy’s face in the dark. He looked younger in his sleep, his face slack and soft looking.</p><p>Despite the awkwardness, he was happy the boy was speaking to him. He had not expected to share a tent, but all things considered, this really was for the best. This way, he could keep an eye on him personally. While he trusted a handful of people with his life and safety, he still held a certain level of distrust. That way, should they be accused, he would not be blinded to the truth. He would investigate them as if they were total strangers. Guilty until proven innocent. He could not afford to get too close to others. Not again.</p><p>The boy whimpered in his sleep, followed by murmured words in that strange language. What had Uchiha called it? Arabic? Tears appeared in the corners of the boy’s eyes and his body curled into a fetal position.</p><p>And Neji had thought the boy’s previous nightmares were fever-induced.</p><p>One of the boy’s hands were laying outside the futon. Exhaling heavily, Neji took his hand out of his sleeve and grab hold of the boy’s hand. He had not missed how the boy had looked at Neji’s hands with longing.</p><p>The boy quieted down and his facial expression smoothed out once more. Neji justified the action by telling himself he was still a child, that this was okay. This was an act of a friend, not a lover. No one would see, and the boy would be comforted, so it was okay.</p><p>Settling down, Neji closed his eyes once more. He could feel the warm hand in his. It was comforting. Lulling. Soon, sleep came to claim him, the two men holding each other’s hand throughout the entire night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neji awoke to the sound of dishes clanking. Startled awake, he shot up, hand on his sword, foot down ready to rise and attack.  </p><p>The boy stood before him with a tray, a flustered look on his face that he tried to hide, carrying their breakfast. It was the dishes on the tray that had awoken him. The boy wasn’t used to carrying the tray, though his hands were steady, his movements were too sharp, causing the dishes to make noises.  </p><p>He was surprisingly not dressed in a yukata. If he recalled correctly, the boy only had a few sets of clothing. Mostly because he hadn’t needed a large variety as there was no plan for him to leave the manor. Somehow, Haru must have acquired pants for him to wear.  </p><p>The boy looked more comfortable in the new clothes, moving more freely. He kneeled in front of Neji, placing the tray in front of him. “Food?” he asked. Though his speaking was getting better, the boy sometimes spoke awkwardly, his face showing little ticks that spoke of his frustration of not being able to voice his thoughts as he wanted. It was kind of cute. </p><p>“Thank you.” Neji released his grip on his sword, his body slowly relaxing as he sat back. “Where are Haru and Natsu?” </p><p>“Outside. Standing.” The boy picked up the bowl of rice to eat.  </p><p>“Why are you doing servant work?” Neji asked, picking up his own small bowl and chopsticks.  </p><p>“I asked.” The boy was still avoiding looking him in the eye.  </p><p>Neji paused, the rice partway to his mouth, but he put it down with a stern expression. “You have no need to work.” </p><p>“People that do not work, should not eat… and I am useless.” The boy said quietly, putting rice in his mouth.  </p><p>Those who do not work, should not eat. Neji could not disagree with that. Having been at the bottom of the social ladder, having clawed his way up. He had seen nobles not deserving of their position, had seen daimyos eat while their subjects starved, and made no effort to help those below them. He had thought while starving on the streets, groveling to those with money, why did these people have money while those who worked themselves to death had nothing. </p><p>“You can do as you like; however, don’t push yourself too hard.” Neji had intended to end the conversation there. He didn’t like the idea of the boy working. At least, not with servant chores, but there was no other work he could give him. It was up to the boy to decide how he spent his time. As long as it did not cause Neji trouble, why should he interfere? </p><p>“Will you be busy today?” the boy asked. </p><p>“Yes,” Neji replied, putting a tender piece of fish into his mouth. </p><p>“Can I watch?” </p><p>The request was surprising. The boy had often kept himself out of others’ view. Why did he want to accompany him on business? Instinctively, he didn’t want to trust the boy’s motives. The boy was still a foreigner after all and letting him come would spill military secrets, but another part of him wanted to allow him to come. To keep him at his side and have his eye on him.  In the end, he relented, agreeing to his request.  </p><p>The boy seemed happy with his response. His smile small, but genuine. With renewed energy he gathered the dishes quickly, exiting the tent. Neji followed, stopping at the entrance to watch him. The boy was cleaning the dishes in a bucket nearby, seemingly determined to do the job right. Was he really serious about working? </p><p>“Does he normally have nightmares?” he asked Haru, who was standing off to his left and watching the boy carefully. </p><p>“Most nights in the few that I have observed, Hyuuga-sama,” he said. </p><p>Neji found himself frowning. So his nightmares were not just fever dreams. “Do you know what troubles him?”  </p><p>“Forgive me, Hyuuga-sama, but I cannot divulge my master’s private matters without his consent.” Haru turned to bow. “I must go help my master with the chores. If you would excuse me.”  </p><p>Neji was left a bit stunned. He had given Haru to Gaara, but he had never said anything about Neji no longer being his master. Did Haru misunderstand his command? </p><p>“Should I bring him back, my lord?” Natsu asked. His voice sounded odd as if there was an edge to his words.  </p><p>“No. Help me prepare for the day.” Neji turned to go back into the tent with Natsu following closely behind. He gave Haru a command, Haru was following it to the best of his abilities. If he believed taking the boy’s side was crucial, then he would without hesitation. Admittedly, it did make him uneasy. He couldn’t show it, but Haru’s rebuff brought along doubt.  </p><p>Neji filed the information away for later as he emerged, dressed and groomed. He was dressed in light armor, plates on his torso, arms and legs, cloth easily seen at the joints.  The full samurai armor was too cumbersome for routine training and the lighter armor was more than enough for training and drills. He wasn’t expecting the boy standing outside and waiting expectedly.  </p><p>He almost smiled. Like a child waiting for his father to take him to work to learn the trade. “Do not speak and stay close. I do not want you to tarnish my reputation.” </p><p>The boy nodded earnestly. He had a determined look in his eyes and for once, their eyes were finally meeting. It was a beautiful shade of green, much lighter in the sun compared to the small flame of a candle. </p><p>They set off, Neji taking the lead. The atmosphere was much different than that of the manor. The smell of incense was replaced with sweat and earth. Quiet was replaced with sounds of metal clanking and orders being yelled. The slow pace and order were replaced with haste and organized chaos. Everyone was moving. Everyone was busy. They did not make an effort not to be seen or noticed, but for their hard work to shine through to impress their elusive master who rarely showed his face.  </p><p>It brought memories. Surprisingly, fond ones. He was once a new recruit. He worked hard to get along with his comrades and to draw the eye of his master. Recalled how his heart would beat out of his chest when his master assessed the troops, praying not to make a mistake. The joy when he was praised and acknowledged. Joining had been a turning point in his life, a chance to pull himself up from the poverty-stricken life he had led until then.  </p><p>While details were now hazy and distant, the feeling remained though dulled with time. It had been a while since he recalled such memories. A while since he had felt even those dulled feelings that had briefly been forgotten. Maybe it was because of the boy’s curious eyes as he looked around, his eyes assessing everything, taking in everything. Neji could see curiosity, maybe even a bit of excitement with his new surroundings. Despite the new environment, the boy seemed quite more at ease here than when they were in town or even at the manor at times. Foreigners were strange indeed. </p><p>Asuma met them at the war tent, bowing to Neji as he approached. “Hyuuga-sama, shall we begin the inspection?” </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>Asuma briefly glanced at the boy behind Neji. Neji frowned, finding an urge to step in front of the boy from the general’s curious gaze. “Do you intend to make me wait, General?” Neji asked, drawing Asuma’s eyes to him quickly. </p><p>Asuma quickly corrected his behavior and started the inspection, informing Neji about the camp as they were shown around. He went over a vast amount of topics ranging from the number of new recruits and their training regimen, the number of casualties, supply consumption rate, the types of conflicts they have engaged in, the terrain that they fought on, and everything in between. Neji stayed mostly silent, listening to Asuma speak while assessing everyone and everything with his own eyes. Neji was knowledgeable about military matters, but Asuma was even more so. Asuma knew what Neji wanted to know, what was important, and, arguably, what actions were best to take in regard to the army’s needs. As such, there were few comments for Neji to make and few questions to ask.   </p><p>That was the morning. In the afternoon, the troops displayed their capabilities for them with demonstrations. The demonstrations felt long. Whether it was because the sun was high in the sky or because even the best human still did not match vampiric skills without a careful strategy and cunning, he did not know.  </p><p>Instead, he discretely watched the boy taking in the demonstrations. He noticed the boy seemed lost during most of the camp inspection. Most likely the words and sentences were too complex for his skill level and were not meant for his ears to begin with. Lacking the ability to comprehend the words, he seemed to focus more on the people and things around him with a stern and concentrated expression. They seemed to have intensified during the demonstrations. It was not with an eye of an amazed observer, but of a potential opponent. He was analyzing with a critical eye. He had known the boy was not of a simple background. That was not a look of someone new to this world, but one who had well lived it. </p><p>Finally, the demonstrations were done. Neji could feel the tension from the soldiers awaiting his assessment. Honestly, there was nothing that stood out to him. He had seen it all before and had seen the best, but he came to raise morale. He complimented the best demonstrator, spouting a fake compliment he forgot almost instantaneously. Something about being able to see his dedication and loyalty in his movements most likely.  </p><p>He then gave a speech of how they cannot become careless or lazy. He talked of honor. About justice and righteousness. About good or evil. He believed little of it. Justice came to only those with money. Righteousness was in the eye of the beholder. Good and evil were subjective. And honor… honor was what got you killed. Easy to stain. Easy to be ripped away. Easy to discard. He used to believe in it, but in the end, what did your honor gain you? </p><p>His speech stirred their spirits as they cried out with fiery passion. His empty words were enough for them. And while they cheered, his feelings remained unmoved. Not even his expression changed as he finally excused himself for a short time. He knew there would be drinking in the camp tonight to celebrate his arrival and the newfound energy in the camp. </p><p>Normally, the celebration would happen the day their lord arrived, but Neji often put it off a day, giving himself time to finish adjusting to the day shift. Neji took the short time before the dinner to collect himself. He had to fake charisma, show himself as a lord, refined, elegant, and powerful. He had to be every bit of a leader they thought him to be.  </p><p>Dinner approached swiftly. Neji sat at the head with the top officers beside him and the boy on his left. He sipped at his drink as the soldiers celebrated, drinking and talking loudly. Brotherhood and camaraderie were built over dinners like this. Their high spirits raged almost as brightly as the fires that lit the camp. Some soldiers became drunk enough to strip and dance, acting the fool. Laughter filled the air as others encouraged them on.  </p><p>Neji gave small, gentle but reserved smiles. The dinner was both pleasant and painful, a moment he wanted to finish as quickly as possible and a moment he wanted to revel in. He numbed his feelings further, his eyes empty as he engaged in some conversation. And though he was emotionally distant, it still pierced his heart, burdening him and weighing him down.  </p><p>The boy left first, some time after some soldiers stumbled away. Seeing the boy go, he wanted to follow and get away as well. Haru followed after the boy, urging Neji to follow even more. </p><p>“Hyuuga-sama, the lake air is quite refreshing at night. It is quite good for sobering up,” Asuma commented, pouring himself another drink. </p><p>Getting the hint, he felt quite thankful for Asuma giving him an out. “Is that so? Then perhaps I should see it for myself.” </p><p>Neji rose, going the direction he saw the boy leave. He left the drunken singing behind, searching for the camp, passing by a few lingering soldiers. He found him, standing outside their tent, staring out into the sky. His eyes were not sad, but something close to it. A quiet contemplation perhaps. </p><p>Should he approach or give him the moment. He wasn’t sure. Sometimes approaching the boy felt difficult and he became unsure. He didn’t like that feeling. Being unsure.  </p><p>As he debated whether to speak to him or not, the boy spoke first. “Stars here are very different. I don’t know these.” </p><p>Neji approached, stopping beside him. “Do you miss your homeland?” </p><p>“Yes…no… It is nice but hard. Things are… difficult?” he questioned the word, unsure if it was what he was looking for. His tone sounded as if things were complicated at home. Were things not going well for him before he came here? </p><p> “If you could return, would you?” Neji asked. </p><p>“I… I don’t know.” The boy looked up at him. His eyes were such a warm color at night. With so many eyes as dark as night, seeing ones so warm that almost glowed in the dark was refreshing. “This place… Neji is master?” </p><p>“I am the lord, yes.” </p><p>“Is the camp always messy?” </p><p>“Messy?” Neji’s brows furrowed. “Are you implying it is not clean?” </p><p>The boy’s lips thinned, trying to find the right words. “In my camp, there is no laughing, no drinking. Everyone is quiet. Food is eaten carefully. It seems careless.” </p><p>“Is that so?” Neji took a few steps forward. “To me, it is your army that is strange. Brotherhood between soldiers is good.” </p><p>“Brotherhood?” The boy asked. </p><p>“The soldier’s bond with one another grows over good wine and song. If they are close, they will feel more comfortable with one another and be more willing to fight alongside one another.” </p><p>“Even during times of fighting?” the boy following. </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“Very strange,” he murmured.  </p><p>Neji thought of asking him more, but the day had been long, and he wished for nothing more than to take a bath, a luxury he had been denied for a while. “Do you wish to take a bath? It will ease the tension and is good for the spirit.” </p><p>The boy’s face turned red and his eyes shifted away from Neji once more. Why did he keep doing that? “I am tired. I will go to bed. Maybe tomorrow. Excuse me.” </p><p>Unlike others, the boy never bowed when he left. Every part of him held himself above others, from the way he moved to the way he spoke, though his knowledge of their culture was growing day by day. So why did he suddenly seem shy and unconfident when addressing him at times? </p><p>Unable to fathom his behavior, he rubbed the back of his neck. A bath was a good idea though. “Natsu, prepare a bath for me.” </p><p>“Yes, Hyuuga-sama.”  </p><p>The next couple sticks of incense of time he used to calm his mind and center inwardly. Somehow, he didn’t think about his problems, his doubts, or all the chaos that surrounded his heart. And though his bath wasn’t long, he wanted to return as soon as possible. In case the boy had another nightmare, he wanted to be there, just in case. </p><p>When he entered the tent, dressed in nothing but a simple white robe, he saw the boy sleeping, peacefully. A part of him hoped he was still awake so he could ask him a few more question, but his softened features in the candlelight was quite appealing in his eyes.  </p><p>He sat down, not bothering with his hair. Natsu could care for it in the morning. The boy’s hand hung limply outside the futon, and Neji held it gently. This should keep the demons plaguing the boy’s sleep away. If not, he would be there. </p>
<hr/><p>Somehow, Neji awoke alone. The sun was not yet up, but the boy was already gone, the bed having gone cold. He stared at the empty futon, wondering how he wasn’t waking when the boy was moving around in the mornings. He was known to be a light sleeper, so he wasn’t sure how the boy had managed to work around him without stirring him. </p><p>He didn’t bother changing, stepping outside the tent, sword in hand. Being in a military camp, he was uncomfortable unless his katana was at his side. Haru was nowhere in sight, but Natsu was there waiting for orders. Natsu wasn’t alone, there were two guards on either side of the tent’s entrance, dressed fully in armor ready to serve and protect him. Other guards were around, not as easily visible. What the twins said when they arrived was true when they said his tent was the most protected. It was at the center of the camp and had the most guards with very strict rotations that could not be broken without informing him first. Rotations overlapped so there was always someone from the previous rotation present for a while before someone replaced them and the guards had to know who exactly was coming to replace them with any changes reported to Neji or Asuma. Some thought it was a bit paranoid, but Neji had been the target of schemes before. He wouldn’t fall for them again. </p><p>“Where are they?” He asked Natsu.  </p><p>“The training grounds, master,” Natsu replied obediently. </p><p>The location piqued his curiosity, so he made his way over. There were few soldiers up at this time though they would awaken soon.  </p><p>As he approached, he could make out the boy’s form. His body was moving fluidly, his one-handed sword technique an exotic dance with his silhouette against the light of the fires. The boy’s swordsmanship was the real treat to the eyes as there was nothing else like it in the many years Neji had been alive. It drew his eyes and attention as it did the first time he saw it. </p><p>Without a word, he handed his sword to Natsu and approached the boy. “Were you always so diligent in your training?” </p><p>The boy stopped, his eyes widened in surprise that Neji was there, but he smiled a little. “I like disciplined lifestyle.” </p><p>Neji looked over the training weapons, picking up a training sword. “Then I should join you to help further your self-study.” </p><p>“Is Neji that kind?” the boy asked, twirling a short sword in his hand. “Are you not busy?’ </p><p>This boy and his disrespectful attitude and words. So why was there a bit of a smile on Neji’s lips as he approached? “Do I not give you enough attention?” His body getting into position to fight.   </p><p>The boy’s eyes were alight too making the first move, locking their weapons together. “What if I say no?” </p><p>Neji’s smile grew, pushing Gaara back and starting a sparring match between them. No longer restricted in a yukata, his movements were faster and more accurate. His rhythm and center of fighting were different from the last time they sparred. He presented more of a challenge, drawing Neji into his more erratic fighting style.  </p><p>Neji absorbed everything he could about how the boy fought. He didn’t return to any starting position that he could tell as a samurai would, he was constantly moving, his posture constantly changing, but it wasn’t unstructured. Even though they had sparred before, it was still new to him, and his body moved automatically to how he expected the boy to move, causing him to make mistakes, unable to compensate this time. He finally managed to disarm the boy after a long while, much slower than before. </p><p>The boy was annoyed, going to pick up his training sword. It was then Neji heard the cheers of soldiers who had gathered around them. The sun had fully come up and soldiers had gathered round to see the spectacle of their lord sparring. Seeing his spectators, he stiffened, feeling the need to present himself appropriately, but the boy charged at him, catching him off guard. </p><p>Neji blocked the attack, but he was off-balance. “Was that not childish?” he asked, pushing the boy back. </p><p>“Neji’s eyes left me,” he said, delivering another onslaught of attacks. Neji’s attention left the spectators, focusing only on the boy before him. Just as he was learning, the boy was learning faster. Maybe it was the demonstrations or perhaps Neji had relied too much on his speed and strength over the years, unused to fighting in the day. But Neji found himself enjoying the challenge. How long had it been since he had a chance to have a challenging fight, to learn his own weaknesses once more? </p><p>Eventually, the crowd became hard to ignore. A vast number of soldiers ended up surrounding them, and the sun had risen well above the trees, signifying the late morning. He was supposed to be giving a lesson to the soldiers today, not playing around. “We should continue another day.” </p><p>The boy nodded, putting the bokken down. Haru immediately went to his side, handing him a towel to wipe his face. Was Haru always so attentive? </p><p>Natsu approached him, bowing. “My lord, your clothes for the day are prepared,” Natsu said, gently reminding him he was still in his night clothing. </p><p>His eyes were on his servant, but his ears were picking up the comments from the crowds. </p><p>“That outsider has no honor.” </p><p>“What right does he have to fight our lord.” </p><p>“No form.” </p><p>“Underhanded tactics.” </p><p>He supposed they had a point. When the boy fought, he used tactics that could be considered dishonorable in a fight, but he did not believe the boy thought of it that way or had any awareness of it. Fighting him personally, he knew that fighting style had developed specifically for the boy after a long period of time and practice. This was a style that prioritized surviving rather than worrying about how it looked. There was no showmanship or flourishes, just the thought, “how can I live a little longer” </p><p>“How many battles have you been in?” he ended up asking.  </p><p>The boy’s eyes drew to him then slowly drifted away. The question drained whatever was left of the high they shared during their spar. “Many.”  </p><p>“What age?” </p><p>“Number 11,” he said, responding with the wrong counter. “Went to war. Just came home before taken here.”  The boy handed the rag back to Haru. “I live. My enemies do not.” </p><p>That was what mattered most at the end of the day. “Then it is fortunate that the gods found it fitting for our paths to cross. I have much to learn from you.” </p><p>“Me too.” The boy turned on foot, leaving. The soldiers made way for him. They acted as if they didn’t want to touch him. Should he be worried they will bully him if he wasn’t around? </p><p>“Master?” Natsu gained his attention. Right. His duties. </p><p>Neji went back to his tent to prepare, leaving to attend to his duties right after.  He didn’t see the boy for the rest of the day. He didn’t have a chance to ask where he went. It was the boy’s time to rest, and he had no right to interfere with how the boy spent his free time. He spent the day teaching the soldiers and telling them of past battles and the strategies that had been used.   </p><p>The soldier paid rabid attention to his advice and teachings. They knew little of him, seen little of him, and yet held him in such high regard, their admiration held up by tales from the older generation and a belief that he was chosen and loved by the gods. Some thought he was a god. This behavior made them seem like children in his eyes, still believing in fantasies rather than the truth they saw with their own eyes. How would they react if they knew he killed to stay alive? </p><p>The day finally came to an end shortly after sunset. His worries about the boy being bullied while he was busy had not been assuaged. He wanted to see the boy immediately since he was missing throughout the day. It was strange not knowing where he was.  </p><p>“Master.”  </p><p>The call for him irritated him a bit though the person who called him caught his interest. Uchiha Shisui was waiting in the shadows in the corner of the camp, wearing a mask over his face to hide his identity.  </p><p>“What did you find?” he asked the guard, walking over to him. </p><p>“We managed to buy everything from the boy’s home country that we could find. There was not much to be found, but I thought one particular item may please you.” Shisui signaled for another shadow guard to appear, jumping down from a nearby tree and presenting the object with both hands.   </p><p>Neji’s eyed it carefully. “And you are sure this is from his homeland?” </p><p>“Yes, on my family’s honor, it will please your honorable guest very much to receive it from you.” </p><p>That was quite the promise. It was unlike Shisui to be so boastful. He signaled for Natsu to take it from the guards. </p><p>“Shall I leave the rest of his gifts in his room?” Shisui asked. </p><p>“Yes.”  Now he had even more reason to see the boy. “Let him decide how it is arranged for when he returns.” </p><p>“Very well, Hyuuga-sama,” the two shadow guards disappeared into the shadows. </p><p>Now he had even more of a reason to find the boy. He stopped by his tent first, thinking the boy would be there before dinner. He was pleased to see that he was. He was doing that weird prayer thing he had seen before. Neji quietly waited until he was done. It wasn’t too long. He was starting to figure out when the boy stopped to pray.  It was 5 times a day. 4 of which he often missed as he did them during the day. He hadn’t realized how often he prayed until this trip, but since entering camp, the boy had been discrete in when and where he did his prayers. </p><p>He must have caught him at the end as it was only a short moment before the boy sat on his heels and proceeded to get to his feet. Seeing Neji, the boy’s eyes brightened. “Still busy?” </p><p>“I am expected to have dinner with the others, but I have a gift for you first.” </p><p>“Gift?” he asked quizzically. </p><p>Rather than explaining, he called for Natsu to enter, bringing the gift forward. “This is from your home country, is it not?” </p><p>The boy’s eyes fell to the object Natsu presented.  It was a sword. Shorter than a katana, its blade narrow at the hilt and flare down the curved blade. The blade was engraved with the Arabic in the metal, the handle decorated a combination of gold-colored metal and leather. A single red jewel where the hilt and blade connected. It was a sword Neji had never seen and it appeared as if it was made for a single hand rather than two. It should fit the boy’s fighting style well. </p><p>The boy was staring at the sword. His face was stony, but you could hear him swallow thickly. He reached out, his hand trembling as if he was afraid to touch it. Tentatively, his fingers grazed over the blade, inhaling sharply when the cold metal met his fingertips. He brought his other hand to touch as well, lifting it out of Natsu’s hands. His hands were shaking so much, the sword was rattling. The boy was forcing himself to breathe normally with great difficultly. His eyes were turning red, and still, he asked in a quiet voice. “You retrieved my scimitar?” </p><p>His scimitar? Neji recalled what Shisui had said to him and understood why he had said what he had said. “Yes.” </p><p>Tears streamed down the boy’s face, his legs shaking. Neji barely made it in time to catch the boy as he fell, helping him to the ground. The boy didn’t notice, clutching the sword to his chest tightly as his shoulders shook more. The boy curled around the sword, pressing his forehead to Neji’s shoulder, crying. He didn’t wail, but it was not simple tears from last time either. He made noise; his tears drenched Neji’s clothing.  </p><p>He shot looks at Haru ad Natsu who both quickly bowed and left the tent, leaving him alone to deal with this new challenge. He didn’t know what to do.  </p><p>“Thank you,” Gaara said softly in between sobs. “Thank you. Thank you.” </p><p>Slowly, Neji brought his arms up, hesitating briefly before wrapping Gaara in a protective embrace, holding him tightly. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Diary 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I buried my grandmother yesterday. It was... an experience. There were a lot of emotions, a lot of them conflicting, but I think it fits this diary entry well. Life is full of contradicting emotions. I hope that comes across in this well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I cannot even put on a pretense that this is a letter to my brother. I would be too ashamed if someone were to find this and deliver it to him. I do not intend for anyone to ever read this, but I have no one else to speak of these, for lack of a better word, desires. </span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I tried to stay away from him.</span>
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    <span> I locked the door, not really expecting to be left alone to do as I wished, but no one forced the door open. No one even raised their voice. There was little persuasion, though the servants seemed concerned when I refused the food for a prolonged period and spent more time trying to get me to eat, they continued to let me do as I wished. I was scared. Scared that </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> was the one leading me astray.</span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My behavior worried </span>
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  <em>
    <span>Naruto</span>
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    <span>. He is younger than me, but he picks up on emotions easily despite the communication difficulty between us. Rather than teach, he brought food and tried to talk to me about things, explaining things outside the manor walls, about troublesome customers, and of someone who annoyed him that visited often. Though he said he was annoyed with this person, his expression did not seem to match his words. He complained, but he seemed at ease with a hint of fondness in his words. When the “annoying person” didn’t show one week, </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto</span>
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  <em>
    <span> had been worried and busied himself wondering what may have happened to him.</span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I appreciated </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>’s visits, but it did not help me decipher what I should do. I prayed for an answer, but I have received none, and when I close my eyes, it is either of Neji in the spring or of memories of others who had engaged in sodomy Ithat I had turned a blind eye to in the past. If it is against God, why did so many of us ignore it and pretend it did not exist and let it continue? Was it because we wished not to condemn those close to us or </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
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  <em>
    <span> we just simply hypocrites? I cannot help but ponder this question even now. </span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One night, Haru came to the locked door. I had been having difficulties sleeping at the time. He explained how he would be tending to me personally, asking me to let him in. I did not respond to him, thinking he would leave like the others, but he stayed. </span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At times he sat at the door quietly, but his silhouette never moved from the door. I wondered how long he would stay, but then he said something I could not ignore. “</span>
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  <em>
    <span>Hyuuga</span>
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  <em>
    <span>-sama</span>
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  <em>
    <span> is worried.” Such simple words, and yet I could not pretend I did not hear it. I responded with a quiet, “He is?”</span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I did not believe that the servant could hear me, but he responded to me. He told me what happened when I was sick, how furious he was that the servants had not changed my bandages and neglected me. How he was too worried about my health to focus on his work. Then he told me that his master was worrying once more, unable to eat or focus on work. In hindsight, he could have been lying. At the time, however, my heart wavered. The only person to ever worry about me was my brother. The thought that someone else would worry, specifically that person, I opened the door for the servant. </span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The silence between us was stifling. He asked for permission to perform his duties, and I allowed him. As he was combing my hair, I asked after </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
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  <em>
    <span>’s health, if he was alright. Since he was working, I did not believe his injury was as serious as I feared it may be. Haru told me his days were full of pain, but his master was a prideful man and would never show it.</span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>With words so ominous, how could I not have worried about him? I did not hesitate when the topic of going with him was brought to my attention. I wanted to see his condition myself. I even lowered myself to dress like a woman if it meant going with him. I can hear the lecture from my brother and the scorn from my father in my head, but when I saw him, I did not think twice. On the contrary, it was </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
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  <em>
    <span>’s rejection I feared more. </span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was not expecting to ride with </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
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  <em>
    <span>. I was so unsettled and stiff I could not breathe. His arms on either side of me to reach the reigns, his hard chest pressed against my back. I do not understand how we are nearly the same size and yet I felt safe, a concept that I have only known in theory until now. Every day since my birth I have been fighting to stay alive. Between my own diligence and luck, I have managed it. And yet, I felt my guard slip and, at times, I leaned into his embrace. I did not fear falling or being attack because I knew </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
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  <em>
    <span> would not let it happen.</span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I felt shame for these thoughts. Knew that I was taking advantage of him. He did not know these inappropriate thoughts I harbored toward him, the lust I feel when he embraces me. I tell myself that this is not the embrace of lovers. I try to convince myself, putting distance between us to clear my mind of impurities, and yet still my eyes are drawn to him.</span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If the days are my torture, then my nights are hell. My guilty conscience seeps into my dreams, influencing my already frequent nightmares. Among the sea of faces of hatred and scorn, of curses aimed at me and the assassination attempts, </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>’s has mixed in. I can only imagine what he would say or do if he knew of my thoughts. Already, with the slightest bit of intimacy, </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> draws away from me. His guard stands firm, emotionally and physically, and every time I see it, I feel my chest constrict as if I had been poisoned. </span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only positive of our trip to the camp was seeing </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
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  <em>
    <span> fall asleep. The first several days, he fell asleep during our ride, occasionally I had to grab the reigns to keep up on track, and when the terrain was rough, he would hold me tightly in his sleep as if to keep me from falling. I do not know why </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> struggles so much in the day, but the sunlight allows me to better see his face if just to satisfy my dark desires for even a moment. If we could stay like this, I thought, that would be enough. As long as </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> never found out how I yearned for him, it would be alright. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I thought admiring him silently was enough. If I kept my distance, he would not know and I could admire him safely without my secret being known. And then I saw a woman being brought to his tent. I only saw by chance. I had to relieve myself and saw her, knowing no woman was a part of our group. I thought I was mistaken, hoping that this culture was not like mine, that a woman entering a man’s tent at night was not what I feared it was.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>None of the guards stopped me from approaching. They turned a blind eye to me, but as I got close and could catch glimpse of what was beyond the fabric separating us, a flash of skin was enough to turn me away. I could not bear to confirm further or see </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> in such a way. The less I saw the better. All I needed to know was that he took women to his bed.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And yet I was left pondering. Why did I feel abandoned? A man having many lovers, a mistress or harem, was nothing. If </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> visited a brothel every night, it was none of my concern. From what I could see, he had no wives or children. His behavior is normal, even in my own country. And yet I found sadness and anger.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hurried away, not looking back only to see Haru several meters behind me. He looked and me, and I looked at him. It was then I realized that my eyes were tearing. I walked past him, and he followed me as he always did with </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>, and when we were alone, he asked, “Do you want my master?” </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I did not quite understand his words, but I knew what he was asking. My fists were clenched, my palms sweating. I could not look at him, could not acknowledge his words in fear of punishment. If I admit it now, then what of my religion that I have spent so long worshipping?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I wanted him. That night, as I slept and nightmares plagued me once more, I knew the truth. I did not want to be the person </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> looked past. I did not want to be a fleeting thought. I did not want to be forgotten yet again. When Haru appeared before me again the next morning, I said “Yes,” without a prompt.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could never read the twin servants that served </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>, but it was as if he knew my will without me uttering a word. Somehow though, I knew he was supporting me. He did not say such a thing out loud, but I know this is his intention. It gave me the courage to finally approached </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> and cease my running.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We arrived at our destination, and I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. It was strange. All my life I had been invisible, eyes turned away from me, eyes that I yearned to turn my way. Now I finally have that attention, and I do not want it. I am a curiosity to them. Unlike the servants at the house I have been living in, they do not hide their curious gazes and disdain for me, for the foreigner in their midst.  </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Neji, confident in himself did not pretend to not know me. With steady hands, he helped me down from the horse as usual. Someone addressed him, and I could only understand some words. He used a different dialect than what I was used to, the same one </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> slipped into at times, but I did understand there was an opportunity.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I grasped onto that opportunity like a lion on its prey’s neck. I did not want another woman going into that tent. There was a second of fear that Neji would rebuke my offer, but Haru supported me as I thought he would, convincing him somehow. And </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>, gently reached out to me, lifting the veil to show me to everyone. His eyes never left mine. They were gentle as they looked at me. I would almost say it was as if he was looking at a lover, but I knew better than to believe in such fantasy. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>’s eyes had softened towards me for a while now, and he still brought that woman to his bed. It was only because I was his friend, he looked at me in such a way because when he returned to the tent later, his eyes looked at me the same way, softening upon seeing me.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whenever he looks at me like that, I cannot help but feel embarrassed myself. I, who have looked generals in the eye before beheading them, I, who has kept my head high while being flogged publicly, cannot look at this man who merely glances my way with any fondness. In these past days, I feel more like a maiden than a man. I could not even look at </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>’s body without giving myself away and my heart stops when he touches me. And yet, shamelessly, I still asked him to share a bed.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As much as I want to blame </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> for my filthy thoughts and desires, I can no longer. In reality, it is likely I had not seen those who would catch my eye. These Japanese are smaller than the people in my homeland and the European travelers. Their build is slimmer and they do not have as much body hair. Upon my early morning walks, tours, and demonstrations, I saw many men wearing light clothes or only undergarments. I seem to have a preference for those that have a similar body type as </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> or perhaps I am comparing them to </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> to begin with.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I started to think of what I would want from a partner, the things I liked about </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>, and realized in turn that I have been doing nothing here. I have felt useless before, but I had also not been active in accustoming myself to life here. I have done things </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> asked, but nothing on my own. It disturbed me, and I was disgusted. I know my options were limited. I am in a place where I could not freely show my face, but while I had the chance, I want to do something. I asked Haru to allow me to do chores. I used the opportunity to learn more and make myself useful. I had been idle too long. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> did not appear to approve of my choice, but he supported me none the less, even humoring me in letting me come with him. Their camp really is not prepared for war, sticking with outdated ideals in what an army should be, but it did allow me to see how they fight. One of my favorite things while traveling in the past was learning new fighting styles and techniques. When I had the opportunity to spar against </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> before, it was a moment of levity. I could forget about everything around me. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seeing the demonstrations, I could tell </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> was one of the best. None came close to his prowess with a sword. Though, I do wonder if </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> has been feeling unwell as of late. During our latest spar, his movements were slower and lacked strength. While his experience covered for his mistakes, it was unusual. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Perhaps I am projecting. When he came to the practice area, clearly straight out of bed, I could barely keep the presence of mind to act normal. Having his undivided attention, fighting with me, smiling at me, exchanging banter, it was as if it was just the two of us. I did not want him to look anywhere else, just those silver eyes on mine. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I do not know </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> well. Because I lack the ability to speak to him, I am reduced to watching him. Often, I see this darkness in him that reflects my own. When he’s watched by others and sometimes me, he is always stiff, his emotions stifled like he’s playing a part he’s not comfortable with. Sometimes his expressions are pained, other times somber, when he is lost in thought. And there are times, like when he is sparring with me or talking with me, that something else shimmers through the stoic cracks, like freedom he wishes to grab right before he shuns when the eyes and expectations of others enter his view. At times, I feel as if he is suffocating and drowning. If I had not seen those cracks in his façade, I would have never speculated something was wrong.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This man, he gives me his bed, his personal servant, and holds my hand when I sleep. His kindness endears me to him. I do not think I could fight this draw if I tried, and I do not wish to. My own mother was unable to hold my hand. My father scorns my existence. My wife fears me and does not want me. My brother has to appear indifferent to keep his power. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> inquired if I wanted to return home. I myself am unsure of the answer. I have nothing waiting for me. No warm body in my bed. No territory to rule over. No longer an army to command. There is nothing left for me, and yet I miss it. The smell of the spices and meats of the bazaar, the bright colors of fabrics draped over clay and stone walls, the feel of horse or camel flesh between my thighs. Seeing my sword once more, I realized how much I had missed it all. How much I had avoided thinking about the fact I would never see home again. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I never cry. Tears get you nothing. I learned that at a very young age. A couple of tears at most, something that could be easily missed or explained away as sand in the eye and even those times could be count on one hand since I was five years of age. When I broke down, crying in </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>’s arms, I never expected comfort or warm arms to surround and soothe me. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>, who had walked out when a few tears were shed, held me. For the first time, I was held.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The longer I stay with him, the more of his tenderness I receive, the more I want him. If I return home, I will never receive such kindness from another, but I fear what my pursuit of him may lead to. Rejection? Humiliation? Worse? </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hoped writing this would clear my head, but I may be more confused than when I started. If there is a chance </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Neji</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> could want me, as a lover, would it be worth throwing away my country, my religion, my shame? Do I chase him because I know he will never return those feelings? Or do I know I am not loved by God and willing to steep myself in sin to forget even if to feel loved if only for a moment? I do not know. Perhaps time will let me in on her secret or it will forever remain a mystery until the day of judgment. Until then, I will give in to this feeling, gain his attention little by little, and if there is a chance, I will choose what to do then. Whether I fall into sin or reject it, I leave it in the hands of God.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I do not know much about the Muslim religion. From what I could find, being gay is against the religion in the 17th century, but it was often turned a blind eye to until later on when the Europeans got on their bad side in the Middle East and started cracking down hard on anyone who was gay or displayed gay behavior in I believe the 20th century. If I am wrong, I'm sorry and mean no offense. I am doing my best to adhere to historical accuracy I can find without spending hours upon hours of research.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neji did not go to the dinner. The boy did not cry for long. He calmed down quickly enough, but he did not move from Neji’s embrace so Neji just held him.  The boy’s sudden crying had startled him and the urge to protect this boy swelled inside his chest. Protect him from the world, the pain, and sorrows. He had not known the boy’s troubles had been hidden so deep for him to sob as he had.</p><p>He had thought the boy had fallen asleep and was ready to pick him up and put him to bed, but the boy leaned back. His eyes were red and swollen and snot trailed down his nose that he wiped with his sleeves, his eyes staring tiredly at the mess he had left on Neji’s clothing. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.</p><p>Neji, who did not like being dirty if he could help it, did not feel annoyance. Instead, he raised his hands, pushing the loose strands that had gotten free from the ponytail away from the boy’s face, and wiped away the boy’s tears with his thumbs.</p><p>“Do not concern yourself over it,” he said in a gentle voice. The boy’s hair was quite soft to the touch.  “If you are struggling, rely on me. I will find a way to make it right.”</p><p>“Why?” the boy asked. His cheeks were flushed from his bout of crying and warm underneath his touch. His eyes still shone with unshed tears threatening to spill and were averted away from Neji’s face. “Why do you help me?” the boy almost sounded pained when he asked.</p><p>Neji could not understand why when he had been nothing but helpful to the boy.  “You are one of my people; therefore, it is my duty to protect you.”</p><p>The boy’s eyes closed, shedding the last of his tears. Neji instinctively moved to wipe them away, but the boy’s hands grabbed his, stopping his movement then slowly pulled Neji’s hands away from his face. “I want to wash,” he said.</p><p>That was a good idea.  A good soak would do the boy well spiritually and mentally. “Very well.”</p><p>Neji knew the twins were likely already preparing a bath. They could hear through the thin folds of the tent after all. “It will take time for the bath to be prepared. You should eat something while you wait.”</p><p>Neji rose to receive the food that the twins likely prepared for them while they were preoccupied. Perhaps he should take another bath as well. </p><p>Outside, he could hear the camp enjoying their dinner nearby, chattering. There was little tension in this camp. The soldiers seemed content despite the supply shortage, and Neji didn’t sense any wavering loyalties. His trip here may have increased morale, but if he had skipped this trip, he didn’t think the mood would have been affected too much. Asuma had done well in keeping them motivated.</p><p>As expected, food had been prepared for them. Haru had already left to prepare a bath, leaving Natsu with the food. Natsu was kneeling, tray in his lap, zoned out. Peculiar behavior as Natsu did not even react when Neji stepped out. As long as Neji had known the boy, he had never been zoned out before.</p><p>“Natsu,” he called curtly.</p><p>His servant, well trained, did not show his surprise, his expression remaining unchanged as a noh mask; however, something seemed off as he stood, his eyes lingering on the soiled part of Neji’s clothing a moment too long. “Shall I prepare a bath for you as well?”  he asked.</p><p>Neji was quiet for a moment, assessing Natsu. "No,” he finally replied. “A cloth and warm water will suffice.”</p><p>Natsu nodded, bringing the tray into the tent with Neji watching. It was not his imagination. He had known the twins for too long not to notice their odd behavior especially when they had never displayed such behavior before. It was the first mistake Natsu had ever made when serving him. Why would his mind not be with him? The only change was that Haru was not constantly at his side. Was that enough to unsettle his heart to this degree?</p><p>He thought of asking but decided there were some things meant to be figured out on one’s own. The twins had always served flawlessly, and it was easy to forget that they were not. Humans made mistakes, and Natsu’s fumble had hardly been worth a small reprimand if it had been anyone else. With such a perfect record, leeway could be given once if to adjust to these new conditions he found himself in.</p><p>That being said, it did leave Neji with a sense of unease. If it wasn’t something so innocent that had Natsu occupied. No one’s odd behavior could be overlooked completely by him, and he could not dismiss it so easily. In the back of his mind, he still held suspicion.</p><p>He went into the tent to keep the boy company while he ate. Truthfully, he was not very hungry, but he wouldn’t let the boy worry. Should he treat him to some meat when they returned? Perhaps some chicken.</p><p>He watched the boy eat listlessly.</p><p>No, boar meat. Something hearty to give him strength, but would that be too heavy on his stomach?</p><p>“Gaara-sama,” Haru entered, bowing respectfully.  “Your bath has been prepared.”</p><p>The boy put his food down, rising from his seat. “Excuse me,” he said before leaving.</p><p>Neji placed his food on the tray. He should prepare for sleep. He did not have anything scheduled for tomorrow, but he still had things he planned to do. It was not just the camp he came to observe, but the area around as well. He planned to eat dinner with his two advisors and discuss some things as well. He should go to sleep, but he couldn’t. His mind was thinking about the boy.</p><p>Was the bath good enough? It wasn’t very comfortable compared to the large bathhouse in the manor, and there wasn’t much privacy in comparison either. With the boy’s shyness, he probably wouldn’t be comfortable having his bath in the open. Perhaps he could create some partitions to help.</p><p>Gradually, his lips turned downwards as he thought. Why was he so concerned over him? And why was he sitting here pondering when he could go see for himself and put his mind at ease.</p><p>“This is foolish,” he muttered to himself, rising. He left the tent, heading to where he knew Haru would have set up the bath, a small area behind the tent where it was not in the direct path of anyone trying to move quickly through the camp.</p><p>He waved Natsu to stay seated while he went to check on the boy. It would only take a moment. There was no need to have Natsu attend to him for something so trivial.</p><p>It was a makeshift bath. A metal barrel over a flame essentially. Even in the distance, you could see the steam from the water rise from into the night air. Haru was on his knees, carefully controlling the heat of the flames with a fan, careful not to let the water or barrel get too hot. With a brief glance, Haru bowed his head to Neji but did not abandon his duties or even hesitate. He was as meticulous as always.</p><p>Neji could see the head of red hair curling in the heat. Getting closer, he could make out his face a little better. The shadows cast on the boy’s face from the limited, flickering light of the fire made it difficult to see even with his enhanced sight. The boy’s eyes were closed. If he was sleeping, he had to be content with the conditions, right?</p><p>“Is everything to your liking?” he asked soft enough so that if the boy really was sleeping, there could be a chance the boy would not stir.</p><p>Neji’s efforts were in vain as the boy’s eyes snapped open, and he stood abruptly, grabbing the sides to pull himself up and sloshing water over the sides, putting out some of the fire accidentally. Haru, as if he had expected the incident had moved out of the way to keep himself from getting wet and was already adding dry wood to the fire to revive it. The boy looked at Haru guiltily before looking at Neji once more. “I-it’s fine.”</p><p>Neji should have wondered why the boy was flustered and acting a bit erratic, standing for no apparent reason, but instead, his eyes were drawing in on his body. The frame of his body was silhouetted by the steam. The boy was not as thin as he looked. His body was rather solid, unlike Neji’s slim form. While he wasn’t burly, his shoulders were broader, his muscles more defined and pronounced. It was the body of a man, not a boy.</p><p>Neji’s eyes quickly darted away. The steam was making the area a bit muggy and hot. He shouldn’t stay long. “The bath is not as comfortable as the manor’s. Because of the camp’s supply shortages, bringing something more luxurious would not be considerate to the soldiers. Please bear with it for a while.”</p><p>“I understand,” Gaara responded.</p><p>An awkward silence followed. Neji wasn’t sure how long he stood there saying nothing. Why did he come here? “If you are settled, I’ll allow you to continue enjoying your bath.” Neji quickly turned and left, walking quickly away and back to his tent.</p><p>When he came back, he ignored Natsu, choosing to dress himself for bed, settling into his corner. He could not recall why he went to check up on the boy. The boy was just taking a bath and Haru was with him. He would be fine. There was no reason to check up on him. He should get some sleep. His mind was getting muddled recently with useless thoughts and concerns. He didn’t wait for the boy to return. He sat down in his spot and waited for sleep to overtake him.</p><hr/><p>“The terrain going forward is harsher than we thought,” Nara said, pointing to the map spread out on the center of the war tent. “Signs of winter has shown earlier in the west. I think a yuki-onna is surrounding the area in ice, making it difficult to bring the soldiers. She may be working with the snake demon posing as a water god.”</p><p>“You said he demands a bride once a month?” Neji asked.</p><p>“Sometimes more or less,” Nara confirmed. “He is likely using Seiryu-sama’s legend to help facilitate his status to the humans in the area. Most are familiar with Seiryu-sama taking a bride. The reasons as to why and what happens to his brides are drastically different from region to region due to demons using Seiryu-sama’s name. The snake demon likely knows this. Unlike Seiryu-sama, who requires a bride to maintain his powers and existence in the human realm, this demon is likely feasting on these young maidens.”</p><p>“So it is important to move in quickly,” Asuma said, “but the cold may be worse than the demons. If the frost is bad, there is not necessarily food to be easily found without plundering a village or another’s territory.”</p><p>And they were low on supplies, Neji thought grimly. That one problem seemed to cause many others. “Unless Seiryu-sama or the lord requests it, we may have to postpone the attack until spring. A hand full of women not even a part of my domain does not compare to hundreds of lives potentially lost. If the lord of that land has a sense of honor and duty, he will listen to the complaints of his people and ask for our assistance and provide what is needed.”</p><p>Asuma didn’t like his decision. He wanted to put an end to the demon’s cruelty, but as a general, he also knew that going in would cause needless deaths. It was a blow to his honor in upholding justice, but he knew what Neji’s thoughts on the matter were. They could help no one if they were dead.</p><p>“Continue scouting out the area in the meantime. Try to find more information on the yuki-onna and see if there is an alliance between them. If that alliance can be broken, then we may be able to proceed with the original plan.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord,” Nara and Asuma bowed to him, accepting his orders.</p><p>Neji exited the tent, withholding a sigh. Always one problem after another. “Where is the boy?” he asked Natsu.</p><p>“Master, the boy is out horseback riding.”</p><p>“Horseback riding?” he asked with some genuine surprise.</p><p>“Yes, my lord.”</p><p>Curiosity piqued, he looked up at the sun. It was only midday. He had time to check on him and ensure the soldiers were not giving him a hard time.</p><p>He wandered to the fields the soldiers had been using for drills and practice. As he approached, he saw someone riding his horse. He could tell who it was instantly, spotting the long red hair trailing behind the rider in the wind.</p><p>The boy was riding down the field at full speed, heading towards the straw targets. He sat up, letting go of the reigns to hold up a bow. His balance was perfect as he drew the arrow, perfectly notched. With speed and accuracy, he let go, drawing another arrow and shooting just as quickly, both hitting their target. The way the boy retrieved the reigns and maneuvered his horse to quickly change direction even Neji could not manage. The boy’s skill with a horse was undeniable.</p><p>The boy turned his horse around. The black stallion between his thighs, the grey riding hakama contrasting against the horse’s coat, and the blue hakama top against pale skin. Would that boy be seen as a demon or god with his appearance?</p><p>“Master, I apologize,” Natsu got onto the ground, kowtowing. “I was not aware someone took your horse out. I deserve punishment.”</p><p>Neji looked at his servant then back at his horse. Like his sword, his horse was precious. They were the most essential tools and companions of a samurai, and it was a horse Neji had carefully raised himself for the past 10 years. To use his horse without his permission was essentially a crime against him.</p><p>“Do not mind it. He did not know.” Neji brushed it off, seeing soldiers surround the boy.</p><p>Lips thinning, he approached, forgetting to tell Natsu to stand.</p><p>The soldiers that surrounded the boy were young. Bright-eyed young soldiers filled with curiosity, all dressed in their training gear.</p><p>“Young Master, you are so good at this,” one of the soldiers praised. “I can see why Hyuuga-sama praises you so much.”</p><p>The boy was uncomfortable, his eyes shifting elsewhere. “I am not very good. At my home, there are better people.”</p><p>“Not at all, young master. If this is not good, then where does that leave us,” another chimed. “And your swordsmanship is so unique. I heard that no one has ever become close to beating Hyuuga-sama. He is said to be one of the top three swordsmen in the country.”</p><p>“Please impart some of your wisdom to us.” Another said bowing deeply. “At the very least, allow me to spar against you just once.”</p><p>“Please young master!” the others repeated, bowing.</p><p>The boy’s eyes searched over them; he did not know what he should say or maybe he did not understand the request to begin with. Even so, it was a surprise to see that a few of the soldiers took to admiring the boy despite his outsider status and strange methods.</p><p>The boy finally noticed him, sitting up impossibly straighter, lifting his chin a bit. “Neji,” he said stiffly, but, to Neji, he thought he heard a little bit of excitement and relief in his tone.</p><p>The soldiers turned to see their lord, all with various degrees of panic on their faces as they hurried to show their respects. Neji ignored them, instead going to his horse, stroking along its nose. “Gaara-san, I see my men are treating you well.”</p><p>The boy nodded curtly. “I saw them practicing. I asked to do it.”</p><p>That didn’t explain how he ended up with his horse, but he suspected the boy didn’t prepare the horse himself. His eyes found Haru standing off to the side, eyes properly averted to the ground. Haru should know better. “You must be tired of seeing only the camp. While the soldier’s spirit burns brightly and fuels one’s own warrior spirit, the lack of beauty to appreciate can make even the best sake taste bitter.”</p><p>The boy gave him that quizzical stare Neji was beginning to recognize. “I… don’t understand,” came the expected response.</p><p>Smiling a little, he said, “Let us go for a ride. If you are to rest, seeing this tiring scenery will not help.”</p><p>He called for Natsu to prepare a horse for him, letting the boy keep his. He felt more comfortable if the boy was on a horse he knew would remain behaved. It did not startle easily and had a good temperament. He knew his horse would take care of the boy.</p><p>Natsu brought the horse, and Neji mounted, looking to the boy. He raised an eyebrow. “Well?”</p><p>It took a breath before the boy understood. Mischief flashed in his eyes. He spurred the horse on, dashing off into the tree line. Neji could not stop the small smirk on his lips as he followed, chasing after him.</p><p>They rode through the forest, the boy outpacing him the whole way. At first, he just wanted to see the boy relax, but as the ride continued and he witnessed the boy’s skills, the urge to pass him rose until he was actively trying to outpace him. The boy noticed as well, maneuvering through trees and over creeks, rocks, and fallen trees. The boy was a master rider to be able to navigate the unfamiliar terrain. There were times the boy even slowed down to keep from losing him.</p><p>He didn’t like losing. He never liked playing around or doing useless things, but the boy was alive. His eyes and face alight with the smile that was spreading on his lips. The mischievous look he’d shoot over his shoulder before he pulled a tricky maneuver to gain a larger lead. All the restraints and all the guards came falling down, revealing this vibrant person underneath. He didn’t know the boy could be like this.</p><p>They eventually stopped at a river. Their path blocked, it was a good time to give the horses a break. Neji dismounted, going to the water to drink.  The river wasn’t large, but it had sandy shores, allowing a soft spot to rest. He dipped his hand in the water. The weather was rather warm today for the mid-fall. After taking a sip, he splashed the rest on his face, wiping off the sweat. “You are very skilled. Did you ride often?”</p><p>The boy came to the river as well, taking a long drink. “I was always riding as a child and traveled a lot. I lived with my horse, especially during war times. My horse helped my life many times.”</p><p>“Saved your life,” he corrected his vocabulary. He pushed his hair out of his face. The sun was beating down on them with the shades of the trees, it was mid-afternoon, and he had not eaten. His eyes landed on the water. “Can you make a fire?”</p><p>“Yes…” the boy said with uncertainly. “Why?”</p><p>Standing, Neji began to disrobe, stripping all the way down to his fundoshi, carefully putting his clothes on a rock. “I will get us some food.”</p><p>Without waiting to hear from the boy, he waded into the water. It was a little chilly but quite bearable. In his youth, he would swim often in the rivers, sometimes even in winter if it meant being able to feed himself.</p><p>As he fished, the boy made the fire, took the fish Neji caught. and prepared them for consumption. Neji caught a total of 4 of various sizes. He was a bit disappointed that it had been so few. His skill had faded after years of being served. He couldn’t even remember the last time he went fishing barehanded. His own fault for not bringing his bow or letting the boy restock his quiver.</p><p>He handed the last fish to the boy, noting that the boy had been grabbing the fish from him without turning his way. Upon closer inspection, the tips of his ears were red. “Are you feeling unwell?” he asked.</p><p>“I’m fine,” he said tightly, getting to work on the fish, gutting it, and putting it on a stick to cook.</p><p>Why was the boy so tense all of a sudden?  Squatting next to him, he tried to see the boy’s face, “Do men in your country not bath together?”</p><p>“I bathed alone,” he replied, turning some briefly of the fish so the other side could cook. “But it is not weird. Soldiers bath together.”</p><p>“Then why do you turn away?”</p><p>The boy muttered something in his native tongue. He breathed in deeply, and reluctantly he turned to Neji, his eyes glancing down then meeting Neji’s eyes. “The Japanese seem to like no clothing.”</p><p>Neji was not sure where that comment came from or how that had any relevance to the conversation. “I think we like clothing very much. Do people wear clothing in the water when they fish or swim in your county?”</p><p>The boy slowly dissected what he said. Neji had grown used to speaking his larger sentences slowly for the boy, giving him time to figure it out. “Wearing clothes in my country is smart. There, the sun is very bright and strong. It is dangerous. There are few trees. Everywhere is…” he picked up the sand in his hand. “What is this called?”</p><p>“Sand.” Neji filled in.                                                              </p><p>The boy nodded. “Sand. Sand is everywhere. Skin must be protected from the sun. Water is precious, and there is little rain. You can only see sand. It takes weeks to travel.”</p><p>Weeks? They had something similar to what the boy described. A place called Tottori was a place with lots of sand, but it was not to the scale the boy described nor had its intensity in heat. The way the boy spoke was with reverence.  Fond of the memories, yet painful to speak of.</p><p>“Tell me more.”</p><p>The boy spoke of buildings in the shape of triangles that touched the sky, buildings made of clay and stone. He spoke of his travels through the deserts and the people he had met. People who had dark skin matching the color of ink, spices that set one's mouth ablaze or so sweet your teeth could hurt. There were storms of sand, days so hot the skin could blister within an hour followed by nights so cold you could freeze. He described large lizard creatures the length of small boats that swam in the waters with large teeth.</p><p>Neji listened with mild interest. He was more interested in the waves of emotion the boy displayed as he talked, noting what things he was excited about, which things he longed for. Many things were a combination of both. The boy obviously longed for home. “You have experienced much,” Neji said. “It must have been difficult.” He could never live in such a barbaric and harsh place.</p><p><br/>“Traveling was not difficult,” the boy said, stoking the fire and disposing of his eaten lunch. The boy’s tone was off, making Neji think he was alluding to something else. “I learned many things.”</p><p>“Do you wish to go back?” he asked once.</p><p>He couldn’t see the boy’s face. He was quiet, and it felt like a shadow was passing over him. “What does, barbarian mean?” he asked suddenly.</p><p>Neji tensed, his hackles rising. Who had said such a word to him? Was it one of the soldiers? Or was it one of his servants at the manor? He debated whether to answer. If he said nothing, the boy would just ask someone else, knowing it was something bad when Neji didn’t answer. He clenched his fist as he said, “Someone who is stupid, unskilled, and uncultured. Someone who is primitive with no manners.”<br/><br/></p><p>The boy shifted, rubbing the back of his neck like he was holding tension there and brought his knees up to his chest. “I want to be called a barbarian than return home,” he said.</p><p>“You are not barbaric,” Neji said tightly. He would find out who had introduced Gaara to that word.</p><p>The boy actually smiled. “Why are you angry? I think your culture is barbaric.”</p><p>That actually took Neji by surprise, unable to hide it from his expression. The boy had not seen much of Japan, but Neji had only shown him the finest things. The boy lived in a nice mansion with servants and was being taught as they spoke. The boy had not even used past tense but present, indicating he still thought of them as primitive.</p><p>Neji’s expression made the boy chuckle. “Don’t be angry. You still believe in many gods. Things will change with time.”</p><p>Neji was indignant. Japanese culture primitive? He needed to make it a priority to introduce this boy to more culture. More importantly, was the boy admitting that he was a Christian? And how could he still believe in one god when he had met Seiryu-sama?</p><p>“You should watch your words. Christianity is banned here. A loose tongue will end your life.”</p><p>“No different than my being here,” he replied. “And I am Muslim, not Christian.”</p><p>What was the difference, he internally sighed. “There are many gods, not one. You met one. Seiryu-sama.”</p><p>The boy’s eyebrows drew together, trying to remember. Then he unexpectedly replied, “A malaek. Not a god.”</p><p>What was a malaek? He exhaled, brushing the hair out of his face. If it was so easy to change someone’s mind, there would be no fighting. “Seiryu-sama controls the rain. Believe what you will, but do not offend him.”</p><p>“Malayka cannot be offended, but I will not offend.”</p><p>It was best to leave it at that, Neji thought. The boy’s eyes were clearly laughing at him though he did not understand what the boy thought was so funny. “This may be the only time you can swim for a while. You should indulge while you can.”</p><p>The boy tilted his head in a condescending manner as if he was sighing like he was disappointed. “Do you hate me?”</p><p>“What?” Neji asked with confusion.</p><p>“My country has no water, yet Neji thinks I can swim? I will die.”</p><p>Neji’s face flushed at his blunder. He had not thought that through at all. Why had he presumed the boy could swim when many people in Japan couldn’t swim either. Covering for himself, he said quickly, “I was going to teach you; however, if you think my time is not worthy of you…”</p><p>“I want to learn,” the boy said quickly. It made Neji smile.</p><p>The boy undressed, down to his fundoshi as Neji had. Neji had already waded into the water. While he had waited, catching glimpses of the boy as he undressed. He didn’t know why he offered to teach him to swim. He should be getting back to the camp to meet Nara and Asuma to discuss new training drills he wanted to implement while he was here. His desire to save face from his blunder made him speak carelessly.</p><p>“Neji,” the boy called out, drawing Neji’s gaze. He had waded into the water as well, approaching Neji. His face was flushed and his eyes were averted. He seemed extremely uncomfortable as if he was resisting the urge to cross his arms or show other signs of weakness or nervousness. The longer Neji stared in silence, the more flushed the boy’s face became.</p><p>“Are you ready?” he asked.</p><p>The boy nodded, giving in to the feeling of crossing his arms. There was no need to be so embarrassed. Neji extended his hand for the boy to take. The boy looked down at the appendage and with hesitation, he put his hand in Neji’s.</p><p>Neji brought him out into deeper water, teaching him the basics. The key was letting one’s body relax, to not fight the current but go with it. The boy was reluctant to put his face in the water. Even with Neji’s instruction, the boy tried to avoid getting his face wet. Despite informing the boy that doing so would make swimming much more difficult and drain his strength faster, it seemed the boy was adamant about it, having a fear of getting his face wet.</p><p>Neji supported his body, helping him float as the boy practiced simple kicking. Until the boy leaned to relax, he wasn’t going to be able to swim well. Still, this was the first time he had seen the boy afraid of something. It was kind of cute.</p><p>As he taught the boy, Neji noticed other things as well. With the sun fully out, Neji could see details he had not been able to see the night before. Notably the number of scars the boy’s body held. For being so young, it was unusual to see so many of varying degrees. Knife wounds, sword wounds, rope burns, torn skin, hot pokers, snake bites. These were not just wounds of a soldier. Some of them were signs of torture.</p><p>The boy’s body wasn’t disfigured. Many of his injuries had healed well, leaving faint scars that blended into the skin, but there were many that were still pronounced from raised skin that had healed. The boy had said he had been at war from a young age, but even Neji thought the number was excessive. Had he been held prisoner at some point. That could explain much of these wounds that did not correlate with battle.</p><p>“Neji?” the boy called out to him, grasping Neji’s forearms to help himself stand up in the water. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Despite odds, the boy’s face remained scar-free. Those deep green eyes stared up at him with concern, waiting for him to speak. Neji’s hand touched the boy’s cheek, feeling how soft it was underneath the tips of his fingers. His previous assessment was wrong. There was one scar, barely visible unless the light was just right. Just under his right eye. Neji’s thumb ran over it. How much hardship had he been through before he had come under his care?</p><p>“Neji?” The boy’s face was a deep red, reaching his ears. He was barely breathing, holding his breath as if he was afraid to move.</p><p>Why did this boy seem so fragile to him whenever he was in his hands? Nothing about him was fragile. The boy had the scars to prove his resilience and will to It, and yet…</p><p>“We should return.” He dropped his hand from his face, turning his back to the boy. “It is getting late.”</p><p>Neji and the boy dressed in silence, allowing Neji to ponder what he had been doing moments before. His actions did not make sense. Why had he been so focused before? He didn’t want to dwell on it. He pushed it all to the back of his mind, pretending that his behavior had been normal. He had just been concerned about a child, that was all.</p><p>Neji led the way back, having memorized the map of the area. Unlike the trip there, it was silent and awkward on the way back. It seemed there was a pattern between them. Moments of levity versus moments of silence and awkwardness. Always swinging from one extreme to the other. Even he didn’t know how to explain it.</p><p>The twins were dutifully waiting for them at the border of the camp. Natsu took a step forward bowing as Neji dismounted swiftly. “My lord, dinner is nearly prepared. Asuma-sama and Nara-sama are waiting for your arrival.”</p><p>Back to reality, complete with duties and responsibilities, he thought. “Gaara-san, you should take a bath to warm yourself. The air has cooled on our journey back, you may get sick if you do not properly dry yourself.”</p><p>“And you?” The boy asked.</p><p>This boy was the only one to outwardly question him so freely. He went over to the boy who dismounted his horse. He wanted to touch the boy’s face again but resisted the urge. “I have to work. I have put off my responsibilities long enough today. Make sure to eat well after your bath.”</p><p>He nodded, but the boy seemed upset that he had to leave. Well, Neji didn’t want to leave them either. He would prefer a quiet dinner and perhaps learn a bit more about the boy in the process. “I will see you afterward.”</p><p>“Okay,” the boy replied, looking to the ground.</p><p>Neji, still hesitant, left him, following Natsu to the location of the private meal in Asuma’s quarters.  Asuma greeted him warmly, asking him to sit, showing him his seat. He must have known Neji left camp. Neji had asked for Asuma to spare him some time today to discuss somethings. Rudely, Neji had ditched him without warning or apology. He should say something, but he didn’t want to apologize. He couldn’t say he regretted his choice.</p><p>“If I may, Hyuuga-sama, I was happy to hear you decided to spend time with the young master,” Asuma said, pouring Neji a drink.</p><p>Neji paused in grabbing his cup, taken aback by Asuma’s words. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“I was worried you weren’t getting along with the young master. You always appeared troubled when the young master was mentioned. I am happy to see you getting along so well. I much prefer you and your mate to have a moment together despite your busy schedule. Time together is the key to a long relationship.”</p><p>“Asuma-san is quite wise,” Nara said. “Being married for so long with such a willful wife, he must be extremely knowledgeable in how to manage a proper marriage.”</p><p>Asuma blushed but laughed joyfully. “Indeed, I do. Why else would Kurenai-chan marry me if I could not do something so simple?”</p><p>Asuma meant to be supporting, but it brought to his attention that he had gotten soft around the boy, more accepting of the inconveniences he brought him. For the first time in 300 years, he had allowed his mind to drift away from work and focus on something inconsequential. Should he be concerned?</p><p>No, he was just keeping his promise to the boy. He promised that the boy could take this time to rest, Neji was just helping. If he did not keep his promises, he would be no better than his brother. And with this, his advisors would believe him when he said he was treasuring his mate. There should be no doubt now. He played the part well. “Rather than Kurenai-san marrying you for your competence, it was out of pity.”</p><p>Asuma’s smile dropped.</p><p>Nara chuckled. “Hyuuga-sama is right. If I recall, she supplied the funds for your first army and managed the books did she not?”</p><p>Asuma flushed with embarrassment. “You are being too cruel to me, my lord. What have I done to offend you?”</p><p>“Am I cruel for saying you managed to find soil to plant your roots and thrive? She found treasure in what most thought was trash and chose to polish it into a fine sword. She has keen eyes for talent while you were willing to put your reputation aside to see opportunity and potential. It is a bonus you managed to find love in your pursuit.”</p><p>Asuma sighed. “Your tongue is as sharp as your sword. Domestic life has not dulled your blade but can you not sheath it for the time being. I may not survive your words otherwise.”</p><p>Neji smirked and drank. “My sword is sheathed. If I wished to truly strike you, you would not be able to speak so freely.”</p><p>“I’m afraid our lord has outsmarted you, General. If you were so good with words you would be a scholar instead of a general,” Nara commented. “You should stick with drink and war.”</p><p>Asuma conceded, drinking from his cup.</p><p>The three men enjoyed their dinner, talking about light subjects. It was meant for bonding more than anything. As much of a hassle it was, Neji could not ditch this dinner after ditching his meeting with Asuma earlier. If Asuma was not such a forgiving person and someone who only cared about his appearance, he would have been highly offended by Neji’s action even if he could not voice them aloud.</p><p>Neji had to patiently wait for it to be over, but his mind wandered to his tent, thinking of the boy. He was probably changed by now. Had he eaten?</p><p>He was looking forward to his return and almost sighed when the dinner ended until he remembered his image. Seeing the tent in sight, he found each step lighter. Perhaps he could draw another picture for the boy, he seemed to like it in the past. It may bring the boy luck and fortune.</p><p>Outside the tent, standing between two guards, Haru waited, bowing at his approach. “Good evening, my lord. I am here to deliver a message from my master.”</p><p>Neji's body tensed. “Speak,” he demanded stiffly.</p><p>“My master has chosen to sleep in his own tent tonight now that one has become available. He apologizes for the inconvenience he has caused these past several days. He thanks you for your understanding,” Haru flawlessly delivered his message, his voice steady and impartial. He kept his head properly bowed, showing him the utmost respect. So why was Neji furious.</p><p>Apologize for the inconvenience? Thanks for his understanding?</p><p>His temper flared, homing his anger in on Haru. “Who gave him permission to leave my quarters?” he almost growled out. He towered over Haru looking down on him through narrowed eyes.</p><p>“No one. Gaara-sama wished to move, and I obeyed his wishes,” Haru answered.</p><p>“Obeyed his wishes,” Neji repeated, his voice deepening. The air around him was growing suffocating, making even the guards uncomfortable. “Tell me, whose servant are you? To whom do you belong?”</p><p>“To Hyuuga-sa—”</p><p>Neji struck Haru across the face hard, sending Haru to the ground. “You dare say that I am your master? Did you not just say you took him away because he desired it without looking for my permission?” He didn’t raise his voice, but his tone was of ice, freezing, and unforgiving with no room to interrupt.</p><p>Haru remained on his knees bowing to Neji, pressing his forehead to the dirt, not daring to get up. “I am obeying Hyuuga-sama’s instructions to attend to Gaara-sama.”</p><p>“Did I give you permission to speak?” Neji took a step closer. Haru did not answer him, wisely remaining silent. “Do you think I am naïve? You say attend, but since when did attending him require you to call him your master? When did it require you to put his wishes over mine?” When did it require Gaara to address him so familiarly or use his position to separate them? “Who are you loyal to?”</p><p>The question made Haru waver, flinching just slightly that did not go unnoticed by Neji. “To Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>Neji’s anger spilled over. He couldn’t explain where this anger stemmed from. The small annoyance he felt when seeing Haru being so close to Gaara just flared as if oil had been thrown onto a small spark, igniting a raging fire growing out of control. His palm itched to strike him again. His toes curled with the urge to kick him or press Haru’s face into the ground to further his humiliation. He had been too lenient on this servant, his hand reaching for his blade.</p><p>Natsu rushed forward, throwing himself at Neji’s feet, separating his brother and his master. “Please spare him, Hyuuga-sama!” Natsu begged, his voice wavering for a moment. “He is still young and made a mistake. He thought for you when it wasn’t his place to do so. He only wished to follow your orders perfectly and became too confident. He did not mean to insult or offend you. He does not wish for what is yours.”</p><p>Neji’s cold eyes burned into Natsu. There was a breath of silence, but Neji’s hand eased off his blade. “You are sentenced to 50 lashes for your transgressions. Be thankful I am in a merciful mood.”</p><p>“Thank you master,” Natsu bowed.</p><p>“I was in the wrong. Thank you master for being merciful.” Haru responded.</p><p>Neji glared at Haru walking around the twins and entering the tent. He heard one of the guards move to take Haru for his punishments. This was the first time he ever delivered punishment to either of the twins. In all the years they served, he had never touched them. Until today.</p><p>His anger simmered for a long time. Neji could not even bother waiting for Natsu to come to his side, keeping him out as he changed his own clothes and not bothering with his hair, but as he sat and his anger slowly faded, he thought why? Why had he been so angry? His actions were beyond an overreaction, it was a moment of madness. What Haru had done was worth a deduction of three months salary at most, and yet Neji was almost ready to kill him. Meanwhile, a truly punishable offense like taking his horse and giving it to another without his permission or knowledge, which was worth the true punishment, he had turned a blind eye to.</p><p>Why did the boy changing tents anger him so? Their cohabitation was only meant to be temporary until a tent could be procured for him. Actually, Neji never asked or followed up on that tent since arriving. He had accepted the fact he would share his living quarters with him and had not thought to change it. Wasn’t that strange?</p><p>No, it wasn’t, he reasoned. Nothing was strange. The boy had been targeted. He had a right to worry. He should be where he could keep an eye on him. Haru was the one who had been acting weird. He was the one acting differently. He was the one acting like he was switching loyalties, acting like he was going to betray him. It was his fault.</p><p>Neji pushed his hair back away from his eyes. That’s right. He did nothing wrong. He just reminded Haru of his place. There shouldn’t be any more incidents. He would make sure the boy’s tent was protected and have someone keep an eye on Haru. Things should be fine that way. There was nothing to worry about. Everything was fine, and he was in control.</p><p>Breathing out, he felt calmer. Repeating the excuse to himself. He settled into bed, smelling Gaara’s scent in the blankets. Maybe tomorrow he would wake early and go over to eat breakfast with him. They could talk some more and maybe get a spar or two in before he had to do his duties.</p><p>He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.</p><p>It sounded like a pleasant morning indeed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>malaek means angel in Arabic. Malayka is angels.</p><p>If you see any mistakes please let me know. Also if you want Seiryu's side story with Itachi let me know. Need at least 3 people to want it before I post it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. SPECIAL: Seiryu short story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the Seiryu short story and his quest to find a bride. This is kind of canon and kind of not in this story. Originally Itachi was going to be a shadow guard and was moved to the position of advisor. In this story, he maintains his shadow guard origins.</p><p>WARNING: There is one slightly controversial scene. Okay for the 1600s, not so much today. Bottomline. Aphrodisiac is involved. I really shouldn't have to spell out that don't do it in real life. If you read Chinese stories, this is a very common trope. Seiryu is based on a Chinese god, so it's kind of fitting.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had lived for a long time.</p><p>Over 6,000 years, he had developed into a well-respected, well-beloved, and well-feared, water god. Maybe that was why the higher-level gods decided to tie him down to the human realm, forced him to always have a human wife, and tied his power to that union.</p><p>It was laughable. Humiliating. Frustrating. Yet he had to be indifferent to it. Couldn’t complain. Couldn’t express dissatisfaction. After 3,000 years, he knew the different types of women there were. He knew what reactions or behaviors they’d have. Some would cry. Some would become despondent. Others were fearful. So much so, they would take their life. There was a few who felt entitled. That their status was the same as a god now that their husband was one. They even demanded his love, but just a look of his true form and they would cower and become fearful like the rest of them.</p><p>So he treated them all the same. He would leave them in the underwater palace, gave them a little range to move about, and he would never see them unless necessary, when they were forced to have a union once a year. When they died from old age, sickness, or suicide, he felt nothing. He may have been in human form, but he was not human. He was a dragon. If you are weak, you die. And humans were weak.</p><p>He waited as long as he could when his last wife died before going to his business partner to request a bride. Since partnering with the human, he didn’t need to trouble himself with looking for and choosing his own bride and communicating his wants and desires to the townsfolk. His partner was tolerable. Not quite fearful of him, knowing when to push and when to be humble. He was diligent in growing the town from a small village to a thriving society, and thorough in choosing the least annoying wives, weeding out the entitled or ones likely to kill themselves, his least favorite. He could wait as long as he could before being forced to take a new wife, knowing the human would choose someone quickly and efficiently, saving him from using his powers.</p><p>He waited longer than usual. His last wife was the despondent type. She grew weak quickly, locking herself in her room. She slowly stopped eating and gave up living until she faded away. She had not even had her 30<sup>th</sup> birthday. He wasn’t eager to replace her and repeat the process. Lately, he wondered if taking a wife, forced to or not, was worth it.</p><p>In the end, he could not bear the idea of the consequences that came with defying his fate. He contemplated sending a servant to tell his human partner to start the search, but in the end, decided to see the town for himself. His brother, Kurama, had visited, mentioning his approval of the town. Admittedly, it piqued his curiosity. So for the first time in 75 years, he came to the surface. Only to be greeted by the site of a man and woman on the beach.</p><p>If he recalled correctly, for humans, it was inappropriate for a woman to be out this late at night. A pair of secret lovers perhaps. Were they trying to elope or, more entertainingly, try to drown themselves so they could be together? Either way, it went to show how simple-minded humans were, willing to do stupid things for the concept they called love. So it was to his mild surprise when the man started to force himself on her.</p><p>When Seiryu saw this, he was ready to turn a blind eye to it. Human affairs had nothing to do with him. Served her right if she could not defend herself.  The weak were devoured thus was the circle of life.</p><p>Just as he was about to leave, he heard the man cry out in pain instead, regaining his attention. The man was missing a hand and it was the woman who carried a blade on her. The man attacked in blind anger, but she disabled him, methodically, calmly, like a dance. It drew Seiryu’s eyes. With fluid, hypnotic movements, she made Seiryu look at her.</p><p>It was in the distance, but he could make out her face in detail, and he could not forget it. From his experience, a normal woman would cry, perhaps scream for help, wouldn’t they? Instead, she took care of the villain herself. How interesting.</p><p>That encounter led to him asking his human partner to search for this woman. He couldn’t help but wonder what would she do when she was chosen? Would she beg to be set free? Cry at night in her bed chambers? Quietly accept her fate? Or would it be something new?</p><p>Which led to his current predicament. Two weeks and he nor his business partner could find her. Like a faerie, she came to dance in the moonlight only to disappeared from the face of the earth adding to her intrigue, but time was running out. Would he have to find another after all?</p><p>He contemplated this, sipping at his drink in the Heavenly Pleasure House. Kurama had been quite right. The atmosphere here was different than the other parts of the human world he had been in. The food was tailored specifically for the client. After his first visit, they captured rare and fresh demonic fish for him to consume. The clientele were demons, spirits, the occasional god, and the special humans who acted in the way he preferred and knew how to conduct themselves. The women were even tolerable. Less fearful than normal, working hard to treat him like a valued, high priority customer.</p><p>The service was enough to have him come a couple of times for mild entertainment. The women left him alone unless he called them for food and drink, and he could be alone without hearing his servants constantly telling him to hurry to find his bride.</p><p>This was the last place he expected to see her again. From his balcony, he saw her walking down below. He couldn’t miss her if he wanted to. When she walked, she turned heads. Her outfit was also different. She wasn’t dressed as a geisha. Not quite. Her clothing was beautiful, but modest compared to the others with fewer hair ornaments and lower quality cloth, yet it complimented her looks rather than detracted, with light makeup rather than heavy powder.</p><p>Was she a whore here, he wondered as she waited in a corner with other women, chatting with them. If she was, that would be a change. Usually, he was sent young women who had barely entered adulthood and usually still pure. A high-class prostitute was usually well educated and talented in the arts. It would explain why she held such grace, but she didn’t appear high class with the modest dress and ornaments. Was she really waiting to be selected by one of these lower-class beings?</p><p>Before he knew it, he was heading towards her. As he walked, workers and customers alike moved out of his way, keeping their heads bowed as he passed. Like her, he also turned heads. He knew of his own beauty. Dragons were vain creatures who were meticulous in their appearance. He never knew a dragon to be ugly. What dragon would not take pride in their scales and talons? Often that beauty from their other form translated into an attractive human appearance as well.</p><p>The girls stopped talking amongst themselves, the women of pleasure blushing when they saw his approach. His potential bride was the last to turn to him, keeping her head bowed. It is when he noticed she was tall for a woman. Just under the average height of a man. Seiryu was only half a head taller than her. She also had surprisingly sharp features, not quite the round-faced beauty that most men preferred, but she still had the beauty of a painting. He stopped just in front of her, looking down. Despite his presence, she was still so calm and composed. Did she not know who he was?</p><p>“Do you work here?” he asked her.</p><p>“Do normal women spend their time in a brothel?” she replied coyly. Her voice was a little lower than he expected, but it was still smooth and pleasing to the ears. Her response once again piqued his interest. Perhaps she really did not know him.</p><p>He gave her his perfected smile he had learned to deal with humans that often put them at ease. He learned this smile to make him seem approachable and relatable. Humans tended to respond better whenever he used it. “Then if you would not mind, I will select you to serve me tonight.”</p><p>On a dime, her expression changed, becoming troubled as she used her sleeve to cover her mouth. “I couldn’t possibly my lord. I would not be suitable for you.” Seeing her up close, he realized she was also a little older than he thought. Close to reaching the age that would be considered old for a girl to marry. 17? Maybe 18?  </p><p>“Kami-sama, this one here is inexperienced and is promised to another tonight. Might we suggest another to serve you tonight,” one of the women intervened.</p><p>Seiryu turned a chilling gaze at her. His godly presence leaking out as he replied, “Did I say you can speak?”</p><p>The woman cowered, immediately backing down, but the girl before him did not act correctly. He had dealt with frightened women for so long, he knew what fear looked like. She shivered as a frail, frightened woman would, but it did not fully reach her eyes. She was quite the actress.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he leaned closer to her. She turned her head to put some distance between them, but she could not move away without offending him. “I only want to drink with you.”</p><p>Her eyes teared. “I’m sorry, my lord. Please choose someone else. My contract is to be bought tonight. Please think of my situation.”</p><p>Those tears were fake. Now fully amused, he leaned down so his face was in her line of sight, making sure she could see him. “My full apologies, I did not realize you were to be married.” She nodded, averting her gaze from his face. Her silver eyes were quite gorgeous. “So he is to purchase it tonight?”</p><p>The girl nodded shyly, confirming what he said.</p><p>He smiled once more, quite friendly and warm as he straightened his posture. “Then it has not been purchased yet.”</p><p>For a split second, the act was broken as realization crossed the eyes as well as shock. “My lord, you are not saying—”</p><p>“If it has not been bought yet, then I can purchase it,” he said simply, smiling down at her.</p><p>Panicked, the girl grabbed his sleeve. Seiryu kept his smile, hiding his shock that someone would dare to grab hold of his person like this. “My lord, please reconsider. My contract just started, and it is very expensive. I have not even finished my lessons. I am not worth the price,” she begged so prettily with the tears in her eyes that did not fall, keeping her makeup pristine.</p><p>“Is it not up to me to decide what I do and do not do with my money?” he asked simply, enjoying her performance.</p><p>“But I cannot guarantee Owner-sama will sell me to you. I do not wish for you to be offended if he declines your offer.”</p><p>Smiling wider he replied, “And I own the owner. He would not dare refuse me.” With a finger, he lifted her face so he could get a good look at her. “I have decided. You will be my bride.”</p><p>The girl’s eyes flickered to the side. It was quick and brief. With a soft wavering voice, she asked, “Would you really be willing to be my child’s father, my lord?”</p><p>The words that came out of her mouth threw him off-kilter unable to respond.</p><p>Child?</p><p>Tears spilling over, she yanked her head away from his touch. “I’m sorry, my lord. Would you excuse me?” She took the moment while he was still processing the information to run away, heading to the back where only employees were allowed.</p><p>He contemplated following her anyway. Hyuuga wouldn’t say anything if he did, but he stopped himself. If she was an employee here, he could get his hands on her through Hyuuga.</p><p>Still, a child surprised him.</p><p>He left the brothel, thinking about the situation on his throne in his palace. The more he thought about it, the more he thought she was lying. She had been acting from the beginning, and she went from one excuse to another as to why she could not go with him. There was also that brief second, she was distracted before she said that to get away.</p><p>But what if she wasn’t. Could he pull a mother away from her child? He couldn’t possibly raise a human child here in the underwater palace, and for some reason, he wanted to kill the father. Odd, he never cared about a woman’s circumstances before.</p><p>He breathed out, unreasonably irritated. There were other women, so why was he focusing on this one so much?  Unable to answer the reason for his foul mood, the seas above raged for 3 days, releasing his pent up anger on the humans above. On the fourth day, the skies cleared after coming to a decision. He would find out if she was or was going to be a mother first and decide what to do from there. But in case she wasn’t… he smiled, mischief dancing in his eyes, he’d have to punish her for lying to a god.</p><hr/><p>He sent his servants to look for any girl who was bought from the brothel that night only for them to return and tell him that no contracts had ever been purchased from the house. In fact, there was a policy that no woman’s contract could be bought. Unusual, but to a degree made sense. He vaguely knew that his business partner was expanding businesses with the intent to find someone. This brothel was an attempt to break into the information sources of the spirit realm, and those girls had to be specifically trained for that clientele as well as be loyal.</p><p>More importantly, that woman lied to him.</p><p>Immediately he called for a meeting with his business partner intending to convince him to let him buy her contract but even that became a problem.</p><p>He sat across from Hyuuga, Neji, looking at all the women who worked at the brothel. She wasn’t among them.</p><p>“Is this really all the women in your employ?” he asked.</p><p>Hyuuga looked at Mama-san who stood forward bowing, “Responding for my lord, this is indeed every girl we have here, every pleasure girl, performer, and servant.”</p><p>He frowned. Was she really not a girl here? He scanned the girls once more. In the back, he recognized a girl. The one who had interrupted him before. “You,” he pointed to her with his fan. “You spoke for her that night.”</p><p>The girl trembled under his stare, and as expected, Hyuuga backed him. “Who did you let into this place?” he asked, icily.</p><p>Seiryu could hear her audibly swallow. She hesitated in speaking.</p><p>“Well.” Hyuuga was losing his patience. He was not one who tolerated betrayal.</p><p>“T-the person Seiryu-sama is looking for…” she glanced at the guard who was in the back of the room.</p><p>Seiryu had not paid much attention to him at first, but now that the girl was looking at the guard, both his and Hyuuga’s attention was on him. Upon closer inspection, he looked quite similar to the girl he was searching for. A little older and obviously male, but very similar. “Do you have a sister?” he asked the guard.</p><p>The guard’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “A sister? I do not ha—” he stopped, realization lighting up his eyes followed by amusement. “I do. We don’t like talking about her much.”</p><p>Hyuuga also looked confused at first, but then he sighed, closing his eyes as if he had a pounding headache. “Indeed, he does have a relative that matches your description.”</p><p>He looked between them, feeling as if he was missing something. “If you had such a woman, I do not understand why you would not inform me during your search,” he said it politely, even had a slight smile on his lips, but Seiryu was not pleased, and he knew the others were aware of it.</p><p>“We do not like talking about him. You see, he is seen as such a promiscuous creature.  My father had even thought to sever ties with him.” He sighed dramatically. “Every day, you can see him with a new man. It is quite shameful.”</p><p>Hyuuga gave a small snort, drinking from his cup. </p><p>“Is this true, Hyuuga-san?”</p><p>Hyuuga glanced at the guard then back to Seiryu. “He is very experienced in that area. I would not think he would fit the criteria with the traits you had listed. I thought him to be unsuitable to be your bride.”</p><p>She was a promiscuous woman? If that was true… “Then why would she refuse me,” he accidentally wondered out loud.</p><p>Hyuuga spit out his sake and the guard smirking trying not to laugh.</p><p>Shamed that such words came out of his mouth, he straightened his posture, putting on his authoritarian air.</p><p>Really, was that the problem? A promiscuous woman was not an ideal wife at all. Still, he said, “Then you will be able to tell me where she is, brother-in-law.”</p><p>The guard seemed surprised he still planned to pursue her. Honestly, he was too. No, he wasn’t going to marry her quite yet, but every time he gained a piece of information, there was another question, like a riddle, and he liked to find answers to riddles. Why did she turn him down? Did she really not know who he was?</p><p>“I don’t know where he is. He doesn’t come home often, and he can protect himself.”</p><p>That was true. That was the only thing he was sure of. Recalling her elegant dance on the beach, he wanted to see her again. </p><p>“Shall I select a bride for you after all?” Hyuuga asked.</p><p>Rather than respond, Seiryu left without a word. Perhaps it would be best he chose someone else. It was not like him to be focused on a human. All humans were the same. He was probably overthinking that this woman was more special than the rest. With her beauty, she should have been married off by now. There had to be something wrong with her, and yet…</p><p>He caught a glimpse of her as he exited the building, walking quickly as if she was in a hurry. He chased after her. But when he turned a corner, taking the road that led in between two buildings, she was gone. Had she really been there or had he been seeing things? There was no sign of her. No trace, and when he asked around, no one had matched her description. It was like she suddenly disappeared.</p><p>It was not the first time either. The next couple weeks, he’d catch glimpses of her, most of the time of her back. Sometimes, he would see her front only for a second later to see her walking away. He would lose her in crowds, stores, alleys. He was beginning to think it was in his head, that he was seeing what he wished to see.</p><p>He knew he was running out of time, but he could not help himself. If he could just talk to her once more, so he could convince himself she was easily replaceable with any other human woman.</p><p>As if fate was listening to his desires, he saw her, walking with a man, laughing behind her sleeve at something he had said.</p><p>Seeing his prey. He approached, making sure to approach from the front. If she saw him and ran, he would know she was running away from him. Fortunately, she seemed too busy talking to the man to notice him.</p><p>“My lovely white lotus, there you are,” he said, watching the woman with a bright and gentle smile that would fit the description of divine. “Should you be walking about? You could harm the child.”</p><p>His words caught the woman off guard, showing shock that she quickly suppressed. The man on the other hand was beyond shocked, turning to her with anger as he spouted. “You’re with child?”</p><p>“Sato-san, I can explain,” she said desperately, reaching for him. “I was just trying to—”</p><p>“Don’t touch me, you fucking whore,” he struck her, gaining the attention of people around them.</p><p>She didn’t fall to the ground. She remained standing. For a split moment, there was murderous intent in her eyes, following his movements as he stormed off. While Seiryu was planning to kill him later, the woman’s murderous gaze turned to him, distracting his thoughts long enough to distractedly send one of his servants to follow the man so he could focus on her. It was fascinating. Someone would actually have enough courage to show such open hostility towards him?</p><p>“I did not realize you preferred a unique type of man,” he said, still smiling politely at her. “Was he the buyer of your contract?”</p><p>The woman exhaled loudly, looking off to the side as if she was annoyed. For a moment, it didn’t look very feminine. When she finally looked at him again, her posture changed. She held herself higher, more regal and confident rather than timid and shy as she had been acting before. The way she held herself reminded him more of a young miss, someone with a higher status than a sister to a lowly guard. Honestly, this seemed more fitting on her. “May I ask why you are pursuing me, Seiryu-sama.”</p><p>His smile widened as a cunning look entered his eyes. “So you do know who I am,” he said. “Yet, you still address me so.”</p><p>She bowed to him. “Forgive my rudeness, but I am not good at sweetening my words when I am not acting.  It is a flaw I am trying to correct.”</p><p>“Do you have a habit of spouting tales as well? Lying to the shogunate can lead to capital punishment or exile. What misfortune do you think would befall you for lying to a god?”</p><p>“I had my reasons for doing so. I do not believe I am compatible with you and would only bring you shame and misfortune should you pursue me. I would prefer you continue to see me as your white lotus and nothing more.”</p><p>Seiryu’s eyes narrowed, considering her carefully. She knew what the term “white lotus” meant. She was learned in Chinese culture, an unusual trait for anyone in this country. She was well educated and could defend herself. What other secrets did she have?</p><p>“I have already said you will become my bride. What god would change his words once it has been decided?”</p><p>“I decline.”</p><p>Decline? Losing his patience, he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “You would defy my will? Do you not realize I can bring tsunamis and wipe out this town by a mere wave of my hand, and you would defy me?”</p><p>She met his eyes. She showed no fear as she responded with a calm, “Yes, Seiryu-sama.”</p><p>He couldn’t hold it in. He laughed, his shoulders shaking as he did so. It was uncharacteristic of him. He had always been called elegant, composed, and the embodiment of what every human king wanted to be, and yet he was laughing at someone openly going against him.</p><p>“Then should I ask, why? Do you prefer those who beat you? If you wish, I could do the same. Or is it my face you do not like? Do you prefer those with a rougher exterior?”</p><p>“Seiryu-sama…”</p><p>“I will have you. Tell me what it is, and I will do it if it is within my ability.” A troubled expression marred her face. He found it absolutely charming.</p><p>“Seiryu-sama, you are troubling me.”</p><p>He smirked. “A god says he would do anything for you, and you reply it is troublesome?”</p><p>Exhaling loudly, she pulled her head out of his grasp with a sharp movement. “If I can’t be a white lotus, please think of me as your white moonlight. I appreciate your love, but it is something I cannot and will not accept.” Even rejecting him so coldly, she was graceful and alluring. “I do not wish to deceive you further so please leave it at that.”</p><p>“Do you believe I will give up because you tell me to?”</p><p>“My apologies. I had heard you say you would do anything so I thought…. I must have misunderstood.”</p><p>Trapping him with his own words. She was witty as well. “Very well. I will follow your wish for one week before I seek you out again.”</p><p>There was a hardness in her eyes, but she suppressed it, giving him a small smile. “Thank you for your kindness.”</p><p>He left her as promised. But that was alright. He would find her again. She wouldn’t be able to get far from his grasp. This was the most fun he had had millenniums. He would not let her pass him by for long.</p><hr/><p>He kept his week promise. He did not think a week was that long, yet he found himself wondering what she was doing. Out of boredom rather than revenge, he killed the man who had struck her. He was still angry he had touched his little white lotus, but he felt his future bride could kill him if she desired. So why hadn’t she? He pondered the question while he had the man tortured to death, barely paying attention to the screaming human.</p><p>What if she did become his white moonlight? The ceremony needed to be held a week from now. At the end of their agreement, it would be five days.  It would be better if she did. She was the only one to state her dissatisfaction at the idea of being his bride. While all his brides never wanted to marry him, they never said it to his face. Could he force someone who blatantly said so? In reality, he could, but with her, he did not want to. He wanted her to be willing. When was the last time he had a willing partner? Sex had been passionless for as long as he could remember. Neither party was ever satisfied. It was just a duty. He did not want this one to be too.</p><p>He withheld a sigh, waving his hand and signaling the servant to end the man’s life. He never expected to feel someone fall into the water above the entrance to his palace. His palace entrance moved from time to time, appearing where he wished throughout the East Asian seas. He had moved the entrance into his realm near the coast to his white lotus, allowing him to save his power. As the ceremony neared, he was already feeling his power beginning to waver and once it passed, his power would begin to drain.  </p><p>He used his power to summon a dark blue orb in front of him, showing him the outside world under the sea, locating where the human had fallen in. Within seconds, he was out of his throne, flying out of his palace and opening the door to the human realm.</p><p>The portal was a thin veil between the human and realm of gods, located at the gates of the palace. Going through it, he appeared deep underwater. He moved easily in the water. The water didn’t absorb into his skin, hair, or clothes. Water moved at his command, allowing him to easily reach the human who had sunk into its depth, catching the young woman in his arms, pulling her to his chest as he brought her to the surface, walking out of the water to shore.</p><p>He placed her onto the sand, seeing the stab wound on her side. She wasn’t breathing.</p><p>The sky darkened, and the waves grew harsher behind him.</p><p>She looked so pale; her hair undone, her clothes drenched and heavy. Who would dare harm his bride?</p><p>Lightning crashed as the waves grew larger.</p><p>Placing a hand less than an inch from her chest, he felt for the seawater inside her lungs, carefully pulling it out, relieved when she started coughing.</p><p>“Do you not think you were playing too rough with your toys, my white lotus.”</p><p>She turned onto her side, vomiting more water, coughing violently. He held her steady, feeling more anger to whoever had done this to her. The boat she had fallen from was still nearby, its light was seen in the distance on the water. Her assaulter had to still be on there. The boat was already struggling with the large waves, getting tossed about like a toy.  Just a little more, and he could vent her anger for her and take revenge.</p><p>He attempted to pick her up, but she shoved him away, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Did anyone see you?” she asked. Her voice was deeper, and her tone was filled with barely contained anger.</p><p>He didn’t understand. Shouldn’t she be clinging to him, thanking him for saving her life? “I do not believe so,” he responded with confusion.</p><p>She was emitting anger towards him; she was struggling to keep it contained even as she bowed her head and said, “Thank you for saving me, Seiryu-sama.”</p><p>She stood up, intending to leave him behind without another word.</p><p>Confused he followed, watching her make her way back into town, him pristine while she still looked half-drowned and the bloodstain still visible on her clothes. Thankfully, there were few people out at this hour, giving most of the road to themselves.</p><p>“I do not understand,” he said, keeping pace with her. “Why are you angry?”</p><p>“I am not angry, Seiryu-sama. How can I be angry with you?” She wouldn’t look at him, and her tone was monotone as she replied, she didn’t even slow her steps for him.</p><p>“At the very least, you should see a doctor for your wounds.”</p><p>“I am fine. Please do not concern yourself over me. It is nothing.”</p><p>“At least allow me to escort you home to ensure your safety.”</p><p>She took a deep breath, stopping and turning to him. “My lord. I understand you are infatuated with me, but please, do not concern yourself with me any longer. I am not what you think I am and am not qualified to be your bride. Please find someone else.”</p><p>“I told you. I have chosen you.”</p><p>Irritation flashed across her eyes that she once again concealed. “Seiryu-sama.” A noise drew her attention, her breath hitching. She lunged for his hand, pulling him into an alley, moving quickly. She pressed him against the wall of a building, putting her hand over his mouth to keep him silent. Her full attention focused on the main road and remaining still.</p><p>Curious, he stayed put, focusing on the road as well, hearing someone walk by. After a minute had gone by after the person had passed, she breathed out with relief.  She pulled away from him, pushing her hair out of her face. Her mind was working over something, Seiryu completely forgotten by her.</p><p>“Are you in trouble?” he asked. “Is that why you are pushing me away?”</p><p>She glanced at him, her train of thought breaking. “Why do you persist?” she muttered, the first frown appearing on her face.</p><p>“Because you are my bride,” he responded. Was it so hard for her to understand? He had declared her as his bride; therefore, she was. It was simple. Why was she angry? If anything, he was annoyed at her lack of understanding. Why would she not relent? Every other woman came obediently once they were chosen. They may not have been happy, but they came out of duty while she resisted.  Humans were meant to submit to gods so why did she not? He had treated her nicely, favored her, and still, she refused him.</p><p>A strange look came over the woman’s face. She straightened herself, walking over to him. Placing a delicate hand on his shoulder, she approached him, pressing herself against him and trapping him against the wall with her body. With her other hand, she grabbed his hand impatiently, pressing it against her crotch.</p><p>He was a little flustered with her forwardness, distracted by her gorgeous silver eyes looking into his, but as his hand lingered, he realized something was off. Confused, he gave a squeeze for good measure, earning a soft sound from her.  No. Him.</p><p>Now that he looked closer, with the makeup washed off, the woman’s features were a little more masculine and an adam’s apple was visible now that she held her head high. “You are…”</p><p>“Do you understand now,” he said, now sounding more masculine to Seiryu now that he knew. “I am incapable of being your bride. It is not possible.”</p><p>Seiryu was stunned into silence. The ability to speak had left him. It couldn’t be possible, but the evidence was sitting heavily in his hand. It couldn’t be anything else but “that”. The beauty in front of him was a man.</p><p>The cross-dressing man finally backed away, still looking at him unashamed. “I didn’t mean to fool you. I am an assassin. When I need information or need to approach a target, I dress like this. I would have explained, but you always approached in inconvenient places and times. If you feel wronged, I will take responsibility for it,” he bowed.</p><p>Seiryu didn’t answer, still stunned, trying to take it all in. He didn’t recall when he or his mystery woman/man left.  Only that eventually he ended up back in his palace. All this time, he had been chasing a man. He wasted so much time chasing after someone who did not exist. So the question now was, what now?</p><hr/><p>Itachi walked into the shadow guard quarters, exhaling heavily at how poorly the night had gone. Drowning, being stabbed, and dealing with unwanted attention…</p><p>He shouldn’t have done that. Seiryu was a powerful god and his master’s powerful acquaintance. Angering him wouldn’t do anyone any good. Could he not have handled the situation better?</p><p>“Coming back late, aren’t you little sister,” Sasuke said from his bed, reading a novel in the candlelight. Ever since Sasuke had found out about Seiryu’s proclamation about choosing Itachi as his bride, he had been calling him that. Itachi couldn’t even quite refute the claim either.</p><p>Though Itachi was older, physically he was younger. He had not yet finished his puberty, retaining his more youthful and less pronounced masculine appearance in comparison to his brother and cousin. He hated his appearance, but there was nothing he could do about it. Instead, he chose to use it in his work, lacking the strength of his peers and relying more on cunning and wit. Unfortunately, it also meant he had to deal with men like Seiryu more than he would prefer.</p><p>Itachi removed the kimono he wore, being delicate with its handling despite it being soaked and stained. “I am sure you have had a good laugh after directing him to me.”</p><p>A smirk crossed Sasuke’s face, but his eyes stayed firm on the novel. “I thought you loved me, Nii-san. If I lied to him, I don’t know what would have happened to me.”</p><p>Itachi exhaled heavily, changing into a yukata and tying up his hair. Perhaps he spoiled him too much, he lamented silently. “You should not play with people’s hearts. The gods will punish you.”</p><p>“Even if he’s your mate?”</p><p>Itachi’s movements paused for a moment only to resume as if nothing had happened. “I don’t believe in such things,” he said, finishing with his hair and sitting on Sasuke’s bed. “Besides I have a troublesome little brother to keep out of trouble.”</p><p>Sasuke finally put his novel down, serious when he said, “I don’t need your protection anymore, Nii-san. I’m fine.”</p><p>Itachi just smiled softly, petting his hair. “Don’t stay up too late. Hyuuga-sama will be taking the young master out.”</p><p>Sasuke rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else, going back to his novel. Itachi on the other hand prepared to go to the hot spring that was available to the shadow guard. The hot spring wasn’t used often. Their master kept them quite busy and spread out across Japan.</p><p>Itachi undressed, slipping into the water and finally allowing himself to properly sigh. The heat seeped into his weary bones, and he let the stress melt away. His head relaxed against a rock, and he allowed his eyes to close.</p><p>Mates.</p><p>His brother’s question came to the forefront of his mind. He wasn’t a child anymore. He viewed things realistically. Was he really supposed to believe his chosen one was a god? Wouldn’t that be vain of him to believe he was good enough to have such a person? He had never loved or been attracted to anyone before, and he didn’t want to. He had different priorities and had no time for love. Besides, Seiryu had to take a bride, and he wasn’t even human. How were they supposed to be destined?</p><p>His hands dragged over his face, trying to clear his mind of all thoughts, only to have Seiryu’s shocked face appear. Yes, everyone was always disturbed when they found out the truth. They always wanted him to be a girl. He was used to that look.</p><p>He wouldn’t see him again after today, and that was okay.  As he drifted, tired from the past two weeks undercover, having slept little, he pictured Seiryu’s face, thinking whoever he chose as a bride would be fortunate to have such a beautiful being as their husband.</p><hr/><p>The next week, Itachi left on a mission, one that didn’t require him to crossdress. Honestly, it was nice. After the incident, Itachi really didn’t want to crossdress and fool someone else so soon. This mission was a straightforward assassination, so only stealth was necessary. He was looking forward to his day vacation to recuperate before his next mission, not expecting to be told he had a guest.</p><p>Dressed in a yukata and his hair still down from removing his gear, he went to meet his guest in the waiting room in the shadow guard compound. The compound was a small place within the manor of his master where his shadow guard slept, ate, and trained with the private hot spring. The guest room was small and lacking compared to the main one in the manor. They rarely received guests. Most had no family or friends, so it was in some disrepair compared to the rest of the small compound.</p><p>He wondered who his guest was. Everyone he knew was already here. He opened the door but didn’t go inside. Blinking insistently at the god standing in a rundown building, smiling at him. “Good evening, Itachi-san.”</p><p>The way he said his name, gently and familiarly made his chest tighten. Besides Sasuke, who usually called him nii-san, he rarely heard his first name. “Seiryu-sama, how can I help you?” he bowed.</p><p>“You do not need to act so distantly. No one else is present.”</p><p>Itachi didn’t dare raise his head. “This place is not suitable for someone of your stature. Allow me to bring you to the main house’s waiting room.”</p><p>“No need. I asked to be brought here.” Itachi heard him walking closer to him but remained bowed. Would he be asked to take responsibility after all? “I wished to see the place you called home.”</p><p>Itachi grew stiff. The god’s tone was so pleasant to him. Maybe more so than when he was dressed as a woman. Why did he want to know where he lived? Did he plan to take his anger out on Sasuke?</p><p>He remained quiet as his mind race, keeping his face as impassive. If he was after Sasuke, he’d kill even a god without hesitation.</p><p>“Seeing you now, I wonder how I ever confused you as a woman.”</p><p>“Seiryu-sama is not the first to be fooled. I am quite shameless after all,” Itachi replied.</p><p>“Raise your head,” he commanded. Seiryu always carried an overwhelming presence. When he gave a command, it was always hard to resist the power in his words. Itachi raised his head, not because he was compelled to because of Seiryu’s power, but because he was uncertain what Seiryu wanted from him. He had to protect his little brother.</p><p>“Do not refer to yourself in that way,” he said sternly. “My bride does not need to take responsibility for other’s foolishness, and he never needs to offer apologies or grovel for another’s favor.”</p><p>Itachi’s breath got caught up, unable to suppress his surprise. Bride? “Seiryu-sama, I am a man. I am not suitable—”</p><p>“There is nothing that says my bride must be a woman, and the gods never said I must join with one. I have already declared you will be my bride, and I am not one to change my mind.”</p><p>Seiryu’s blue-green eyes threatened to pull Itachi into them. He stood too close, showed too much affection with his words. Occasionally, Itachi would meet these types too. The ones who found out and became enthralled with the idea, the mystery of having sex with a man. Thought it would be new or interesting. They were fooled by his face, knowing he was a man but not quite truly sinking in until they felt up Itachi’s member, and that sex was going to be different.  Seiryu was just another one of those. It just hadn’t sunk in, thinking he had accepted when in reality, it was a bit of curiosity and not fully understanding.</p><p>“Forgive me for saying so, but I do not think you understand what you are saying. Having a man as a lover is different than you may think,” Itachi said evenly. “It is just curiosity that makes you pursue me. I do not wish for you to resent me for not stopping you from making a mistake.”</p><p>“You think I do not understand?” Seiryu asked incredulously.</p><p>“Yes,” Itachi replied bluntly.</p><p>“You think I don’t know what I want?” Seiryu trailed the back of his fingers down the side of Itachi’s cheek. “Foolish human. Do you think I have lived these millennia not knowing my preferences?”</p><p>Itachi kept his breath steady, pushing the touch out of his mind. “If men were your preference, you would have taken a male lover already, and if you truly wanted me as you claimed, you would have spirited me away as you’ve done with your previous brides.”</p><p>“They were women, and you are not. Do you prefer that I treat you as such?” His face got closer to his until their foreheads were almost touching. “What must I do to convince you of my certainty?”</p><p>Itachi fought the urge to avert his eyes. Seiryu was way too close. Wasn’t this inappropriate?</p><p>Closing his eyes and pushing his emotions down, he responded. “If you are truly serious, I will sleep with you once. I’ll show you the way I like to have sex with my partners. If it does not turn you away, I will consider your proposal.”</p><p>Seiryu gave him a soft smile. “Very well, I will take your offer.”  He leaned the rest of the way forward, kissing Itachi’s neck, and placing his hands around Itachi’s waist.</p><p>Really, this god. Itachi pushed him away immediately. “Not here. Somewhere more private.”</p><p>Seiryu’s eyes held a bit of laughter. “Very well. I’ll ask Hyuuga-san to give us a room.”</p><p>Before Itachi could offer the Heavenly Pleasure House as an option, Seiryu was already leaving.</p><p>Itachi squatted where he stood, running a hand through his hair. As if this situation wasn’t ridiculous enough, he was supposed to do this in his master’s house? Everything about this felt wrong. He did not want servants hearing them or gossip about him to spread, but who would dare correct Seiryu? His master would not, so how could he?</p><p>Truthfully, he wasn’t planning to sleep with him. Just scare him away. Rough sex tended to do that. It wasn’t what Itachi preferred, but it usually managed to hit home harder to these types that they weren’t getting the sweet, timid girl they thought he was. Itachi could speak vulgarly, could be rough, could conquer them if he chose. Hopefully, with this, Seiryu would realize then and leave him alone and choose a good girl.</p><p>Sighing, he tried to pull himself together. He’d take care of the aftermath later. Right now he needed to see if he could convince his master to suggest a different place for this and save himself some dignity.</p><hr/><p>Thankfully, Hyuuga-sama managed to convince Seiryu to give them a private room in the Heavenly Pleasure House. Itachi swore right then that he would serve his master for life for allowing him to retain his dignity.</p><p>He arrived through the back, not wanting to attract any more attention than he had to. He never walked into the establishment dressed as a man before. Thankfully, the girls who worked there knew him and his work, making it easier to stay out of sight and work as he needed. They assumed he was there to work, so they didn’t question, sending him to a room meant to keep the sound out. He appreciated small miracles.</p><p>He arrived at the room. It was classically decorated, with a futon in the center with expensive sheets and blankets. On the table, there were expensive wines and food. Obviously, whoever was in charge of the room had upgraded things to fit the occupant.</p><p>Seiryu was sitting at the table drinking wine. He was only in a simple white robe, his chest showing more than usual, with a haori drabbed around his shoulders. Seeing Itachi, he smiled at him with those eyes. Itachi couldn’t see what he was thinking and that’s what unnerved him.</p><p>Itachi entered and closed the door behind him.  He was wearing a simple yukata himself. It had been a while since he wore something casual which was odd in itself but coming here to have sex… he was having second thoughts. How was he going to do this?</p><p>“White lotus.” The god greeted him. “I was afraid you would change your mind.”</p><p>“I keep my word,” Itachi replied, glancing at the futon. “Are you certain this is what you want, Seiryu-sama?”</p><p>Seiryu tilted his head with a seductive smile. “Are you backing out?”</p><p>“No.” He had to go through with this it seemed. He took a moment to fall into the mindset he used when he was normally in these situations. After all, this meant nothing. He was just scaring him away. “I am allowed to do or say anything I want, correct?”</p><p>“Yes, whatever you wish, I will do it.” Seiryu didn’t show any hesitation or second thoughts. He wasn’t acting like the others. No. He had to stay focused.</p><p>“If you say it, I will trust you.” Itachi walked over to him, touching the lord’s face. It was soft under his fingertips as he brushed the lord’s hair behind his ear. He brought his face close to his. “Then get on the futon,” he commanded, speaking down to the god.</p><p>The god lifted an eyebrow at his tone but surprisingly did as he was told. He did give his word, but Itachi didn’t think he would listen. Alright, let’s see how much this stubborn god was willing to take.</p><p>Itachi took his time approaching, watching as the god sat on the futon as regal as ever, waiting. Those eyes were so commanding. He needed to fix that. Itachi slipped a hand in his sleeve, pulling out a long and narrow piece of cloth. He kneeled in front of Seiryu, placing one hand on Seiryu’s shoulder while bringing the cloth to his mouth giving it a kiss while keeping eye contact with him. “This is your last chance. I won’t be gentle from here on out.”</p><p>“Be your worst,” Seiryu dared, wrapping his arms around Itachi’s waist to pull him closer. Oh, that wouldn’t do.</p><p>“I intend to be,” Itachi replied. With a small smirk, he leaned in teasingly, just short of brushing their lips together before blindfolding him with the cloth. If Itachi was going to do this, he was going to take care of those eyes that seemed to pierce through him.</p><p>Seiryu moved to remove the cloth, startled, but Itachi took advantage of his confusion, pushing him down onto the futon. “Tonight, you belong to me, Seiryu-sama,” Itachi lifted his yukata to straddle his waist. “You follow my rules. And I say, you are not allowed to touch.” Itachi leaned down, letting his hair fall over his shoulder, tickling and teasing the exposed skin on Seiryu’s chest. His lips ghosted up Seiryu’s jaw, stopping at Seiryu’s ear. He whispered lowly and seductively, “You’re my whore tonight, Seiryu-sama.” His hands slid up Seiryu’s sides and up his arms, feeling the god tremble underneath his touch. “You’re here to satisfy my desires.” With a rope, he tied Seiryu’s hands. “And if I find you worthy, sheath my sword in that tight posterior of yours. So make sure you behave.”</p><p>Since this was the room Itachi did his interrogations in, he was able to secure the rope to keep Seiryu’s hands above his head. Granted, Seiryu could break out of his confinement if he wished. With his words, he hoped to unsettle Seiryu a little, talk down to him as men tended to talk down to Itachi whenever he was dressed as a woman. Saying this back to those curious men, this would normally be enough to unsettle them into making them have second thoughts or show hesitation. He did not expect to feel a hardness press against his inner thigh. Was the god enjoying this?</p><p>Itachi nibbled on his ear, taking the lobe into his mouth as Itachi slowly worked the god’s robe open. With his ear next to the god’s mouth, he could hear and feel every unsteady and ragged breath. Being blindfolded and being a dragon, his other senses must have heightened quite a bit. He should tease him a little. He took the chance to lower his hips and grind against Seiryu’s crotch, both confirming that Seiryu was turned on while letting Seiryu feel his own member, reminding him that it was a man doing this to him.</p><p>“You’re so hard. What would they say if others knew how horny you are for another man?” He whispered into his ear. “Tell me, how badly do you want me to touch you?” Itachi kissed his neck, daring to leave marks on his skin. He wanted to take a bite out of it.</p><p>“Touch me.” It still sounded like a command. He probably didn’t even realize It himself. Itachi’s fangs, dragged along the skin, careful not to break it. Senryu’s skin was hotter than a human’s, and it was tempting to take a nip when the thought of how he might taste crossed his mind but drugging a god with his venom may be considered too much.</p><p>He was still being cautious, setting up rules and boundaries even now. Despite his words, he would never penetrate him. The receiver was always the one humiliated in male pairings, considered even emasculated to some. He could not humiliate him too much, and Itachi would not allow himself to go all the way and cross that line.</p><p>He sucked on his jugular, forming a nice sized hickey. “Since my little whore asked, I’ll grant your wish.” He licked the abused skin one last time, savoring the taste. He just wanted one little nip.</p><p>Curbing his desires with more difficulty than he would like, he opened the robe completely, exposing Seiryu fully. He was very lean, reminding Itachi of a dragon’s figure. Rather than make him look lanky like it would on most humans, his figure was complimentary, making you think that it was a body of perfection, unlike Itachi’s lean body that looked borderline frail.</p><p>Pushing the negative self-image of himself aside, he admired the white, pristine skin underneath him as he crawled down the body, memorizing its contours. Such a perfect body was being presented to him. Seiryu’s length and girth was also something to envy. “Hm, you're harder than I thought. You are more of a whore than I thought. It’s weeping so much, and I haven’t done a single thing to you.”</p><p>“Tease,” the dragon god muttered under his breath.</p><p>He could not allow someone, even a god to address him like that. He was a tease, was he?</p><p>Itachi brought his mouth close to Seiryu’s member, his breath teasing the member. Seiryu was already tilting his hips, ready to push his member between Itachi’s lips when given a chance. Unfortunately, Itachi had no plans to amuse him like that. He simply put a single finger on the tip, teasing his urethra, gaining a low groan from the god. “Enjoying your reward,” Itachi asked.</p><p>The lord thrusted his hips, trying to make more contact, but Itachi would not allow it, keeping that single teasing finger on his member. The god emitted a low growl in his chest. “Touch me more.”</p><p>Itachi ignored him, tracing the head with his finger. “You’re quite big, Seiryu-sama. You must have made all your previous brides cry trying to put such a large thing inside them.”</p><p>“Itachi,” the way he said his name went straight to his groin, reacting to the husky, animalistic voice of the god. “Touch me.”</p><p>In response, Itachi removed his hand completely. Partly out of punishment, but also because he was unnerved at the partial erection he was sporting himself. He had never gotten hard during this play before. Itachi engaged in it to keep his emotions distant from his target.  “Did I say you could speak,” he asked, using a commanding tone of his own.</p><p>This was getting dangerous. Seiryu was really into this. Continuing now would be pointless, and yet, seeing Seiryu’s member was making his mouth dry and his own member weep. It was a struggle to turn his eyes away. Normally, he’d give him a lap dance, but even Seiryu would be able to tell he was hard if he did. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe it still had not sunk in for the god that Itachi had a dick too.</p><p>He closed his eyes, reining in his emotions. Continue everything like normal. As long as he didn’t get off, it would be okay. It was proof he felt nothing and that he was in control. He straddled Seiryu once more, rubbing their crotches together as Itachi moved on top of him with rhythm. Seiryu tried to change the pace by thrusting his hips, but Itachi made sure to use his weight and strength to minimize the movements. The god’s precum was hot, smearing on Itachi’s inner thighs and soaking his fundoshi. How could he have so much precum? Was it because he was a water god?  It felt like the god was trying to mark him. His cock was twitching between his legs with excitement, sometimes slipping in between the folds of Itachi’s ass cheeks. Who was the one really be teased, Itachi thought.</p><p>The lord was breathing heavily. With his erection straining so much, he was getting close. Right when he was about to cum, Itachi grasped the base of his cock roughly, stopping him from going all the way.</p><p>“Itachi,” the lord growled, sending another shiver that Itachi was forced to suppress.</p><p>“If you cum before me, Seiryu-sama, the game is over. You don’t want it to be over, do you?” Itachi said seductively. He pressed his hardness against Seiryu’s stomach teasingly, giving him hope that Itachi would get off soon. As he did, he noticed Seiryu’s skin texture had changed.</p><p>On the sides of his body, his skin was not as soft. In fact, it was scaley. Light blue, in fact, hard to see in the candlelight. Was he pushing Seiryu too much?</p><p>They should stop, Itachi thought, dragging his fingertips up the god’s body. It wasn’t like he could do the real rough stuff when he could harm the god’s body in the process. He brought his lips to a nipple, biting, careful to avoid using his fangs. He could not hit him, drug him, tie him up completely, or use objects to penetrate him. Seiryu was still a god, and he could not risk humiliating or offending him. Itachi rocked his hips. He should finish this as quickly as possible and leave. Take a mission and disappear for a while. Because this, Itachi realized as he helped bring Seiryu to the brink once more, was too dangerous for him.</p><p>A little stimulation once more and Seiryu came. Itachi didn’t watch him orgasm, closing his eyes so he did not have that image in his head. It didn’t stop the feeling of Seiryu’s body tremoring beneath him or feel his hot spray on his legs and ass. Itachi sat up, getting off of him without appearing he was in a hurry. “Looks like you lost, Seiryu-sama. It seems you still lack discipline.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“May you have a pleasant trip home.” Itachi made his retreat before Seiryu could break his bonds and come after him.</p><p>Hiding in another room, Itachi rested his head against a column. He would stay put in the brothel for now. Seiryu would not think he would stay after leaving so quickly. Itachi would not have been able to leave if he wanted to.</p><p>He had gotten excited. He almost came when he sent Seiryu over the edge. Was this the rumored link between mates? The inescapable pull that one could not escape from? Never before had he been in such a situation. His body had been too weak to handle a situation like that when he was alive, and his second life was only for his brother. He didn’t get excited by others. It was a job. Just a job. That stupid dragon was not supposed to enjoy it. Where was his sense of honor and dignity that should loathe and despise anyone who would dare whisper those vulgar things into his ear?</p><p>He stayed still, trying to calm his mind and cool his body, but the only thing he felt was the hot semen drip down his legs. The more he tried not to think of it, the more he focused on it, recalling the feel of the orgasm beneath him, making him harder. Should he just take care of it?</p><p>No. He just had to endure it. He would not break. He would disappear for a while, put distance between them. He would leave tonight and hopefully then, he would understand.</p><hr/><p>Itachi left on a mission for a month and a half. Besides his reports, he did not contact home and prolonged his return. When he finally returned, he calmed down somewhat. It was long after the deadline of choosing a bride. He should have moved on to another by now.</p><p>He checked up on his brother before retiring. Exhausted from the mission, he fell asleep the moment he laid down.  He did not expect to be awoken early the next evening by a servant, saying that his betrothal gifts had arrived.</p><p>What?</p><p>Sure enough, when he got to the front gate, several servants of the water god were carrying in boxes, no doubt containing priceless items. It was unnerving as the boxes piled up with a never-ending stream of servants.</p><p>His master was there to receive the gifts, a slight frown on his face as he watched the servants come and go. In some sense, his master was his guardian, so of course he would come to receive it. He was troubling his master with this.</p><p>Itachi bowed. “My utmost apology, Hyuuga-sama. I did not expect, Seiryu-sama to… I did not think he would go this far.”</p><p>Hyuuga exhaled heavily, showing his annoyance by the inconvenience. “It appears your attempt to run away has not deterred him.”</p><p>Itachi took his words as a scolding, keeping his head down. “I apologize for inconveniencing you, Master.”</p><p>“He requested dinner with you.” Hyuuga turned to him fully. “I will not force you to marry him. You are not a woman, and I will not force my men to marry for political reasons. As he is focused on you, either remedy this situation quickly or warn me so I may make the proper preparations.”</p><p>“Yes… master.” Hyuuga walked away, leaving Itachi to retrieve his gifts. Preparations. If he refused, his master would lose a powerful ally and possibly gain an enemy that could wipe them out easily. His master was willing to go that far if Itachi chose to reject him, but how could he put his master in such a situation. Did he have no choice but to accept?</p><p>Since Hyuuga brought up the dinner, he was expected to attend. He sighed heavily, putting his face in his hand, counting backward. Can’t he just leave again?</p><p>“I’ve never seen a man get betrothal gifts before,” Itachi heard his brother say as he approached. Things really were not going his way today. “Does that mean we have to scrape together a dowry too?”</p><p>“Are you done?” Itachi asked.</p><p>“For now.” Sasuke, the rude brat that he was, opened up one of Itachi’s gifts, pulling out what looked to be a very expensive sword. “Hm, thought it would be jewels or clothes or something. At least he knows your gender.”</p><p>Itachi removed his hand from his face, putting his hands in his sleeves. “It is too much. I will send them back.”</p><p>Sasuke gave his brother a side glance, twirling the blade in his hand. It was a good blade, properly balanced. Unfortunately, it was of Chinese origin, and it was not a blade Itachi would handle well. “Do you hate him that much?” he asked seriously.</p><p>Itachi sighed. “I do not hate him,”</p><p>“Then why do you resist him?”</p><p>Itachi walked over, closing the box Sasuke had opened. “It is none of your concern.”</p><p>Sasuke grabbed his brother’s wrists. It was funny how easily Itachi’s wrists fit into Sasuke’s hand. He was older, but here, he looked like the child. “Onii-san, stop punishing yourself. It’s okay to be happy.”</p><p>Itachi carefully pulled his arm away. Smiling gently at his little brother. “Naruto-kun will be kept waiting if you do not leave now. You should hurry.”</p><p>“Nii-san,” Sasuke called out to him as he walked away but did not follow after him. That was good. He did not want Sasuke to keep his mate waiting. While he had originally wished Sasuke’s mate was a woman, he hoped they had their own ceremony soon. Since meeting the young boy, Sasuke had become gentler and kinder, softening his hard edges. As a result, Itachi had quickly come to like Naruto and was ready to open his arms to a new baby brother for him to dote on.</p><p> He had the manor servants transport the gifts to the storehouse while he figured out how to return them. Since he was expected to attend dinner, he went back to change clothes immediately, silently lamenting over his lost sleep. He did not know how many days he had to be awake. While the shadow guard trained to remain awake and fight the draw of sleep daylight brought, multiple days took its toll.</p><p>Itachi chose a simple yukata and put his hair up in a ponytail. As he changed, he heard a few guards make low comments about him. How could they not when Seiryu’s servants made such a spectacle, bringing him gifts. Comments about him not being a man were already making their rounds.</p><p>Most of the gossipers were the trainees, the ones who were still human. They all assumed they had already slept together, assuming he was the woman in the relationship. Since he “took it”, it meant he was not a man because a man would never allow himself to be fucked by another man. They already looked down on him because he was not as strong as a normal vampire and cross-dressed for his missions. It appeared this incident was enough to make them brave enough to mock him within earshot and disregard his seniority.</p><p>So Itachi sat in the guard’s quarters, quietly reading, pretending he couldn’t hear them. Like everything, Itachi took it quietly. He didn’t say anything to correct them or defend himself. In the end, he was still the most skilled assassin in his master’s arsenal. It was expected he took the high ground and said nothing.</p><p> A servant came to retrieve him when Seiryu arrived, hearing the hushed laughter. Whore. Slut. Bitch. He was used to hearing those insults on accident. It made little difference that they were just saying it more directly now.</p><p>He followed the servant to the main house to a waiting room where Seiryu was seated. Seiryu smiled upon seeing him. Itachi searched for signs of discontent. Anger. Anything negative. He had left the god in a humiliating situation, and yet he was staring at Itachi with more intensity than before, bringing images of their night together back to the forefront of Itachi’s memories. He had to look away when those memories starting to affect him.</p><p>Itachi quietly sat down. The moment he did, servants came out to bring out their trays. Seiryu did not give the servants a single glance, his eyes entirely focused on Itachi and his every movement. Why? Why was he still looking at him like that?</p><p>“Did you receive my gifts? I chose each one personally.”</p><p>“I am overwhelmed with your kindness. I could tell Seiryu-sama put a lot of time and effort into choosing them.” Itachi replied, keeping his eyes down on his food.</p><p>Seiryu’s smile dropped, his face becoming eerily blank as he assessed Itachi. “You did not look at them, did you?”</p><p>Itachi took a bite of the meal.</p><p>“I do not understand. I have done everything you have requested, and you are still unsatisfied. How much favor do you wish for?”</p><p>Itachi took another bite, remaining silent.</p><p>“Is it because I did not take care of your needs that night?” he asked.</p><p>Itachi placed his chopsticks down and placed his hands in his lap. “Seiryu-sama, may I be blunt with you?”</p><p>“You mean you have not before?” he seemed to be trying for a joke, but his expression just seemed to say he was just happy that Itachi was finally talking.</p><p>“Why are you so set on me?” Itachi asked. Seiryu opened his mouth to reply, but Itachi interrupted him. “And please, do not say, it is because you decided before you knew who I was. If you wished to, you could have chosen someone else. I even humiliated you in our last encounter and ran away. You know nothing about what I like, what I hate, what my personality is, what my ambitions are, so why?”</p><p>“Do I need a reason beyond that I want you?</p><p>Itachi gripped the cloth of his yukata in his hands. “And what will happen if I continue to refuse? Will you kill my master? Harm my brother? Destroy the town?” He asked calmly.</p><p>Seiryu was taken aback, his eyes showing surprise at Itachi’s words, followed by anger. “If I said yes, would you agree then?”</p><p>Itachi did not reply. It appeared he really did not have a choice. In the end, he would have to say yes.</p><p>Lightning crashed outside, but Seiryu’s face smoothed out the anger from his features. “I have never heard of a couple getting to know one another before marriage, but if that is what you desire, then I will do so.” The response shocked Itachi, making him intake air sharply through his nose. “But I must ask, does being my bride disturb you?”</p><p>Itachi thought over his words and decided to answer truthfully. “If you had just asked me for a strictly physical relationship, it would have been easier.” He knew those words were a slap to the face. That he would rather be Seiryu’s mistress and/or whore than be his bride, insinuating disdain for the god. It was not like that. It was more complicated than that. He just could not afford to leave this place unless it was the only way to protect Sasuke and his master. However, he did not explain so much, leaving the sentence as is.</p><p>He expected a reaction from Seiryu. Anger, harsh words, something. Instead, he calmly said. “I appear to have lost my appetite. I have not been feeling well lately.”</p><p>Itachi felt guilt but did not offer any sympathy or concern. “I will call a servant to see you home.”</p><p>“I want you to see me out.” He stood. “Or is that also too much?”</p><p>Itachi stood as well, quietly following Seiryu out to the main gate. Clouds that had not been there before dinner started had rolled in, looking dark and ominous, but Seiryu kept a serene face as he walked. How angry was the god really? He really was like the sea, a calm surface with angry and chaotic tides underneath.</p><p>When they reached the gate, the guards opened it for Seiryu, revealing a sedan waiting for him. Itachi bowed, “I apologize for ruining your evening. I will return your gifts immediately.”</p><p>Seiryu turned to him with a soft gaze. “Keep them. I selected them specifically for you. It would be an insult to have them returned now.”</p><p>But they were betrothal gifts. Accepting them meant accepting Seiryu’s proposal. He could not keep them.</p><p>Sensing his dilemma, he added, “I will not force you, Itachi-san, but I will not give up on you either.” He used his hand to raise his head. His touch was warm and soft, distracting Itachi long enough to delay his reaction to what Seiryu did next. Leaning down, he sealed Itachi’s lips with his own.</p><p>Itachi was shocked but didn’t push Seiryu away, and a part of him didn’t want to. Even when Seiryu pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his thin waist and hiding most of Itachi’s frame with his long draping sleeves, deepening the kiss, he didn’t pull away.</p><p>He didn’t know if he should respond to him or not. His body was stiff with shock, but the warmth his body exuded made him want to melt into the embrace. In the end, Seiryu pulled away, running his thumb over Itachi’s reddened face. “You’ve never kissed before, have you?”</p><p>Itachi looked away out of embarrassment, confirming what Seiryu suspected. Seiryu’s mood seemed to lift, smiling and kissing Itachi’s temple. “You said you would prefer a physical relationship. I will concede with your wishes as well as your wish to know each other better. If in 4 months, your opinion does not change, I will never bother you again.”</p><p>Four months. Surely, he can stave off the god’s affection for that long. “I can agree to those terms,” he relented. Even if Seiryu demanded sex… he could make it through that too. He would just have to make sure he did not get attached.</p><p>“Then I will return to see you soon.” He left one last kiss, his lips lingering on Itachi’s temple as if he did not want to let go. He eventually released Itachi smiling at him one last time before exiting the manor.</p><p>The guards at the gate were staring at him with judgment, but again he said nothing. Whatever he said would not change their mind. Plus, if Itachi could take away scrutiny for Sasuke being with Naruto, that would be fine as well.</p><p>He returned to his quarters to get more sleep. He thought, with as tired as he was, he would fall asleep immediately. Instead, he thought of warm lips and a hot embrace. At every turn, no matter how cruel he was, Seiryu kept treating him gently, humoring his requests without asking anything in return. Why? Why could he kiss him so tenderly even after his cold words? Why him?</p><p>Itachi closed his eyes, eventually falling asleep thinking of being in that hot and embrace one more time.</p><hr/><p>When Seiryu said he would see Itachi soon, Itachi never imagined that he meant the very next day, moving into the guest room at the manor. Wasn’t this too much?</p><p>Seiryu was sitting across from him as Itachi ate his breakfast, watching him eat. It was making Itachi self-conscious, remembering the kiss the night before.  Losing his appetite, he placed his chopsticks down. Seiryu had followed him around all night, watching Itachi work. Itachi didn’t do much. He was overseeing the training of the younger humans. The ones too young to go on life-threatening missions, ranging from 3-12. A lot of the fully-fledged guards hated training them. They were emotional, clumsy, and sometimes talked about family members that were long dead. For the guards who had put emotions and family far from their minds, it was uncomfortable to be around.</p><p>Itachi worked with the children well. While he was cold and stoic like the others, perhaps even more so, he was able to sympathize with their needs, being patient, saying the right words to keep them motivated as well as slowly instill loyalty to the master who saved them from their previous life.</p><p>The children liked him. He was the refreshing drink of water in their backbreaking and mentally draining training. While children their age would be going to school and playing, these children were being trained to kill and to take their own life should they get caught.</p><p>Itachi taught the arts. Calligraphy, poem reciting, dance, and music. Occasionally, he would also teach about hidden weapons. Since the children were small and still lacked strength, he also taught methods of how to get close to a target, using their wits and hidden weapons to take care of the deed. Itachi quite enjoyed teaching them, and one of his favorite duties.</p><p>Today’s lesson had been calligraphy. He had helped the younger children who were just learning to write while the older children worked in quiet contemplation. The youngest, a three-year-old, had sat in his lap sucking his small pudgy fingers as Itachi guided his hand, occasionally pulling the child’s fingers from his mouth. A four and six-year-old kept showing their work, competing for his attention. Itachi would only scold them for their rowdy behavior. He didn’t smile, having to lead them by example in how they should act, but it was the time he felt most at ease.</p><p>Seiryu sat, observing him interacting with the children the entire time. At first, Itachi had been self-conscious about being watched, but soon enough he forgot about him, doing his duty to the best of his abilities. However, once the lessons were finished, Seiryu was still there, and Itachi became uncomfortable once more.</p><p>“Do you like children?” Seiryu asked.</p><p>Predicting the question, Itachi responded, “I do not like nor dislike them. I was simply doing my job in training the young trainees. “</p><p>“Most would say they would be thrilled to have a son, and yet, you say you have no like or dislike to the idea?”</p><p>“I never thought on it. Why wonder about what you cannot have?”</p><p>“Why would you not be able to have a child?” Seiryu asked.</p><p>Itachi was learning Seiryu was quite direct, especially with his questions. He supposed that a god had no reason to be subtle. There was no one he had to worry about offending, but Itachi wished he would at least learn what questions he should and shouldn’t ask him.  “I would not want to tell you such a boring story, Seiryu-sama. “</p><p>“Nothing you say could be considered boring.” Seiryu was giving him his undivided attention, waiting for Itachi to speak.</p><p>Itachi did not mind speaking to the children about their past or families, but his past, he did not want to recall. “There is not much to say,” he said distantly. “The doctors told me I would be unable to have children since I was young, and vampires are infertile, so I never entertained the idea.”</p><p>“Why would a doctor say such things?” he asked.</p><p>“Is the food not to your liking?” Itachi interrupted. “You have not eaten much.”</p><p>Seiryu smiled. “Are you worried about me?”</p><p>Feeling his cheeks heat under the scrutiny, he deflected. “Why would I worry? Seiryu-sama is so powerful, he must always worry about his own health first.” Itachi reached for his tea, looking for any excuse to not talk further.</p><p>Seiryu’s eyes curved in amusement, tilting his head. “Shall we try for a child?”</p><p>Itachi choked on his tea, spitting it back into his cup. “M-my lord,” he coughed. “Please don’t joke about such things.”</p><p>“You think I’m joking?”</p><p>Recovering a little, Itachi wiped his mouth. “We are both men.”</p><p>“I am regrettably not familiar with human anatomy. Just to make sure, should we not try many many times, to make sure it is indeed not possible.”</p><p>Itachi did not even know what to say to that. He felt his cheeks were heating as the dragon stared straight into his eyes as if he wanted to devour Itachi whole.</p><p>“Please do not tease me, my lord. I do not wish for you to ruin your regal image because of me.”</p><p>“I was not teasing.” Reaching over the table, he twirled some of Itachi’s hair around his finger. “If you want a child, I will find a way to give one to you.”</p><p>There he went again, declaring he would give Itachi everything he wanted. He should not try to resurrect hope that has long died. “As I said, I do not particularly like or dislike them. Do not go out of your way for it.” He brushed Seiryu’s hand away.</p><hr/><p>Every day was a new topic, and only one, but there was a lot of questions regarding that topic. Itachi would offer the shortest answers and try to end it as soon as possible, but some days, if Seiryu waited at the right time, catching Itachi when he was at his most tired, he would talk a little more.</p><p>“Missions for Hyuuga does not count as a hobby,” Seiryu said. He was sitting very close to Itachi, leaning over with his hand resting just behind Itachi’s backside, leaving very little space between them as his free hand reached across Itachi’s body to bring a strand of hair to his mouth. Over the past three weeks, Seiryu had gradually moved his seat closer and closer to Itachi without Itachi noticing until he was practically pressed against him. Today, he was too tired to argue with Seiryu, having been up during the day four days in a row, and Seiryu was taking advantage of it. “Tell me what you really enjoy.”</p><p>Itachi sighed, his guard coming down a little with his exhaustion. He knew Seiryu would keep asking for a while until he quit, and he was too tired to withstand it.</p><p>“Learning.” Itachi finally answered, taking a swing of sake. “I like to learn. Anything I can get my hands on. Literature, poetry, history, politics, foreign books, anything.” He poured himself another glass of sake. “When I was a child, it was all I could do.”</p><p> Seiryu kissed the strands of hair in his hand. “You seemed to have a rough childhood.”</p><p>Itachi nodded listlessly, memories coming back to him. “I wanted to serve as the shogunate’s advisor, so I studied. In the end… I was too weak.” A darkness came over Itachi’s eyes. His world had been so small and full of pain. Anger. Fear. Pulling him, down, down, down. Drowning him. Suffocating him.</p><p>“I cannot imagine you weak,” he whispered, moving his hands to Itachi’s shoulders, pulling the yukata from his shoulders, exposing some of his neck. “I would guess you were quite strong,” he kissed the exposed crook of his neck, making Itachi inhale sharply.</p><p>Itachi pulled away a little, readjusting his clothes. “It is getting late. I have a mission in the town over tomorrow.”</p><p>Seiryu let him go with a bit of a sigh. “Sleep well.”</p><p>Itachi nodded, hurrying off, clutching his yukata closed as he left with slightly flushed cheeks.</p><hr/><p>Seiryu watched Itachi walk off, sighing to himself once he was gone. Two months passed his deadline, and things were already becoming difficult. Would he make it, he wondered, walking towards his room.</p><p>As he was deep in thought, he didn’t notice the man loitering in front of his room until the man approached him, stopping and blocking his way.   Seiryu, not amused in the slightest, looked over the man, seeming familiar, but unable to place where he had seen his face. “Who are you?” he demanded icily.</p><p>The man surprisingly smirked rather than be intimidated by his presence, making him wonder if this human wanted to die. “You really only have eyes for my brother don’t you.”</p><p>It was then he recalled where he had seen him. The guard who had been with Hyuuga that night who claimed to be Itachi’s brother. “Brother-in-law,” he said, his tone switching to polite in an instant, “I was not expecting you to come see me.”</p><p>“Do you mind if we speak inside? It is not something for others to hear.”</p><p>A bit curious, he allowed the man to enter. “Is something wrong?” he asked after closing the door behind him.</p><p>The man did not sit, nor did he get comfortable. He lacked any manners compared to his brother or restraint. His next words only confirmed that. “You’re not getting anywhere with my brother, are you?”</p><p>Seiryu managed to keep himself from frowning, but his eyes were not so friendly. “What does the status of our relationship matter to you?”</p><p>The man sighed, muttering, “That idiot” under his breath. His facial features softened, and he seemed legitimately upset by his answer. “My aniki,” he started, pausing as he considered his words. “My aniki was very ill as a child. By eight years old, he was too weak to leave his room. By thirteen, he couldn’t even leave his bed. He suffered a lot of hardships. He was already a child of my father’s mistress, and because he was so weak and was unable to grow as he should have, he was often humiliated and emasculated by others, making my father hide him away with shame of his existence. It… it made him very angry and bitter… about a lot of things, and he made a mistake that he still hasn’t forgiven himself for.”</p><p>The man dropped to his knees, bowing to Seiryu. Giving his first impression of the man, it was unexpected. “Seiryu-sama, my aniki does not believe he deserves happiness. I know him. If he wants something, he’ll think he doesn’t deserve it and will suffer in silence. I ask that you please take the first step for him and let him have a taste of what he forbids himself.”</p><p>Seiryu watched the man beg, thinking over what he had been told. “How are you certain I am what he wants?”</p><p>“If my aniki didn’t want you, he would have done everything in his power to send you away. He would become the person you hated most. He would lie and manipulate you into leaving, and work against you, god or not. Instead, he’s been honest with you and has not interfered with your stay here. My aniki would have to want you very much to go against his nature.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>A load had been lifted from the man’s shoulders. He quickly dismissed himself afterward, not bothering with saying much more. Seiryu had been wrong about him. With the way he set up Itachi and publicly disrespected him, Seiryu assumed he was arrogant and cared little for Itachi. Seiryu had been quite wrong. His future brother-in-law cherished Itachi very much.</p><p>What the man had said was close to what he had already suspected. He had guessed Itachi had been sick and had a difficult childhood, just not how much so.  Itachi always grew uncomfortable whenever his past came up. Seiryu also knew that was not the whole story, but the details he wanted to hear from Itachi himself. Over the weeks, he had also realized Itachi’s habit to hold back. Itachi obviously loved children. He liked to walk in the rain. He loved to read by candlelight. But if asked, he would say it was his duty and that he neither liked nor hated it.</p><p>But did Itachi want him? He kissed his shoulder and Itachi ran away. Alternatively, three weeks ago, Itachi would not have allowed him so close to begin with. Perhaps it was time he was more aggressive and see for sure whether or not Itachi had any feelings for him at all.</p><p>+</p><p>It was the middle of the day. Itachi was at the Heavenly Pleasure House, learning the newest popular dance from the capital from the girls. While Itachi generally hated dressing as a woman, he did enjoy the dance.  He spent a better part of the morning learning it, taking it up as quickly as a fish to water.</p><p>Itachi cracked his neck, rolling his head, trying to get rid of the stiffness in his neck. Midday practice was always hard on him, but he knew it would be worth it for future missions. It was important to know what would become popular sooner rather than later.</p><p>He retreated to one of the private back rooms. Mama-san was kind enough to let him use it to rest after practice to rest before his next shift.</p><p>There was a sweet-smelling incense already burning when he entered. It smelled familiar but didn’t dwell, sitting down at the table to eat his dinner. He was not surprised when Seiryu showed up halfway through. Once in a while, Seiryu left to take care of business but would find Itachi the moment he returned. Honestly, he was getting used to it.</p><p>Itachi opened up his yukata a little, feeling a bit warm. “Traveling in between is difficult isn’t it?” he poured some wine for the god.</p><p>“I find it worth it,” he took the cup gratefully. “How was your lesson?”</p><p>“It was simple enough to learn. The dances have the same foundations,” Itachi answered, finishing off his meal. He leaned back, taking his hair down. It really was a warm day.</p><p>“Would you show it to me?” Seiryu asked. “I would love to have a private viewing.”</p><p>Normally, Itachi would say no, but he was feeling a little uncomfortable sitting still. Perhaps he had too much alcohol. “Alright.”</p><p>Itachi rose from the table, walking around it to an open space. He raised his arms, taking the beginning stance, slipping into the role of a geisha flawlessly. As much as he hated being compared to women, he did enjoy dancing. He liked the idea of each movement having meaning, that a body could communicate a story.</p><p>He danced for Seiryu, feeling the heavy weight of his gaze of his form. Did he like the dance? He wondered. His body was getting hotter, his eyes lingering on Seiryu. His body was becoming flushed. Did it make Seiryu want him?</p><p>Itachi stopped his dance, pausing in place, realizing exactly what that incense was when he felt his member starting to rise. He needed to leave before Seiryu noticed. Before he gave in to the growing desire. But he could not move.</p><p>“Why did you stop?” Seiryu asked, rising and going to Itachi’s side. “Are you ill?”</p><p>Itachi was struggling to keep his breathing normal, his body shaking with the effort. Did Seiryu plan this? But he was so hot. He couldn’t help but open his yukata more to relieve the heat. The fabric scraping across his nipples went straight to his groin.</p><p>Itachi turned his back to Seiryu, trying to hide his erection from the god. He tried to think of a way to get out, but thinking was getting difficult. It was just so hot. He wanted to disrobe. He knew he shouldn’t. It was just the incense.</p><p>Seiryu touched his shoulders. “Itachi,” he whispered. He could feel Seiryu press his body against his, pressing an erection of his own against Itachi’s ass.</p><p>A soft whine left Itachi’s throat, his will breaking. Is it wrong to admit he had wondered at night what it would feel like to have Seiryu’s inside him? Stretching him? That he had dreamt of it. No, that wasn’t him. That was the incense talking. He wasn’t like that. He didn’t wonder about these things. Didn’t crave these things. </p><p>But his body didn’t agree, pressing back against Seiryu, tilting his head to allow Seiryu access to his neck. The god took the invitation, moving Itachi’s long hair out of the way to kiss on his neck.  Seiryu’s lips felt cool on his skin. If he touched him more…</p><p>He moved Seiryu’s hands, moving one to his chest and the other to his crotch.</p><p>He should cool down like this right?</p><p>He felt Seiryu’s smile, before he was groped roughly through his yukata. Yes, more, Itachi thought. This heat needed to be taken care of. Itachi’s eyes were glassy and filled with need. He knew how to stop the heat. He rocked his hips, rubbing against Seiryu’s hand. With a little twist of the nipple, Itachi cried out, almost coming. How strong was this drug?</p><p>“Did you almost come already, Itachi?” Seiryu whispered teasingly.</p><p>Itachi's legs gave out. He was panting heavily, his body shaking. Seiryu was keeping him standing, supporting Itachi’s weight effortlessly.</p><p>He couldn’t take this. He needed Seiryu’s cock so bad, he might go crazy. “S-Sei...ryu.” he couldn’t even add “sama”. He’d do anything to feel Seiryu inside him. He had to tell him. “Sei…r-ryu.”</p><p>“Do not fear. I have you.” He whispered, parting his yukata open enough to gain access to Itachi’s weeping cock. He wrapped his hand around Itachi’s member, but Itachi shook his head, temporarily gaining his footing to turn around in Seiryu’s arms.</p><p>He didn’t want foreplay.</p><p>Itachi mashed his lips together with Seiryu, pushing his tongue inside desperately.</p><p> He couldn’t even wait to be prepared.</p><p>With impressive balance, he wrapped a leg around Seiryu’s waist, pulling him closer.</p><p>He needed what belonged to him now.</p><p>Seiryu tried to break the kiss, but Itachi wouldn’t let him, keeping his arms wrapped around Seiryu’s neck.</p><p>“Now,” he said into the kiss. “Take me now.”</p><p>Seiryu picked him up, trapping Itachi with his body and wall, and spreading his cheeks. Yes. Yes, this is what he wanted. He could feel Seiryu’s member probing his entrance, trying to find it. With a swift hard movement, Seiryu slammed his member inside. Itachi’s head shot back, banging it against the wall as he rode out the pain. The god was big. He was stretching Itachi’s tight virgin ass, struggling to accommodate his girth. He felt he may be split in two. But his erection didn’t wilt. Seiryu was inside him. Seiryu was finally inside him.</p><p>Seiryu moved, causing Itachi to inhale sharply, still not having adjusted. It was painful, but he didn’t care. His mate was making love to him. Seiryu wanted him.</p><p>Seiryu pounded him into the wall, and slowly, but surely, pleasure was overcoming the pain as his body repaired whatever damage had been done. Drugged and lost to his desires, Itachi moaned Seiryu’s name, telling him to go harder. Deeper. When Seiryu found his sweet spot, Itachi’s mind whited out, no longer able to think.</p><p>It was too overwhelming. The pleasure, the need was too much. He may have fainted for a moment. He didn’t know, but he felt when Seiryu came inside him, embracing him tightly, and burying himself to the hilt.</p><p>Seiryu’s semen was hotter than a humans, warming Itachi’s insides as it pushed deep inside. He kept cumming and cumming, like a fountain, until there was no more room, and it leaked outside his ass while Seiryu was still inside him. No human could produce so much. More. He wanted more.</p><p>“Many, many times, right?” Seiryu whispered. Despite cumming, he was still stiff and ready to go for another round.</p><p>“Yes,” he said breathlessly.</p><p>Seiryu’s semen made a great lubricate. It was slick and plentiful, making the next round more enjoyable. Seiryu was kind, taking him to the futon at least for their next round, making it easier on Itachi’s back. Seiryu filled him up that round and the next and the next until Itachi was filled and covered with Seiryu’s cum.</p><p>Why couldn’t he get enough? Itachi thought, engaging in a slow, tired kiss. His body was no longer burning with need, yet he still wanted him. Was this what it meant to find a mate. This insatiable desire to become one with him. Was this the desire he had been suppressing come to light? The feeling of wanting to become whole?</p><p>His eyes could hardly stay open, and he was drifting. No, he decided. This was just his first pleasure of the flesh. He had been overwhelmed was all. When he woke, he would be more careful. This was just a result of ignoring his physical needs. When they did this again, he’d think of it as just that. A purely physical relationship.</p><hr/><p>Itachi softly closed the door, eyes lingering on the sleeping deity on the futon inside before he went out of sight. He didn’t know how long he and Seiryu did “that”. It was midday when it started, but it was morning now. Honestly, he was exhausted as shortly after sunrise hit them hardest, but he couldn’t find it in him to stay any longer.</p><p>He would get back at Seiryu, who no doubt planted that aphrodisiac in his room, but more importantly, he could not believe what he had done, how he had acted.</p><p>Sneaking out of the heavenly brothel, he headed back quickly to the manor, entering disheveled and smelling heavily of sex. Thankfully, his sleeping quarters were empty as his team was off on another mission to verify information the master had received. The only reason Itachi had not gone with them was due to Seiryu’s request.</p><p>He sighed with relief, having got back without incident or being seen.</p><p>“Have a good night, onii-san?”</p><p>The sound of Sasuke’s voice froze Itachi in place, the blood in his veins running cold. Slowly, Itachi turned, his cheeks a dark red, unable to hide his embarrassment when he knew Sasuke would smell it on him and put two and two together with his appearance. “Sasuke, why aren’t you with the others?”</p><p>Sasuke came out of the corner he was in, explaining how Itachi had not noticed him at first. “No one knew where you were, so I volunteered to stay behind.”</p><p>Itachi couldn’t look at him, feeling like a scolded child though he had no reason to. He was an adult and could do what he pleased as it was his day off. Just because he hadn’t planned to spend it as he had, he had done nothing wrong… other than sleep with another man that was. “How thoughtful of you…”</p><p>Sasuke walked towards him. No matter how hard he tried, Itachi could not look at his little brother, unable to even think of words to say.</p><p>“I’ll prepare a bath for you,” he said, stopping next to his brother to add, “You still have quite a bit in your hair.”</p><p>Itachi’s face turned completely red, his face burning as his brother left chuckling at Itachi’s misery.</p><p>Sinking to the floor, he put his head to his knees. How could he show his little brother such a shameful side of him?  He took several deep breaths, pushing down the embarrassment and letting rational thinking return.</p><p>His brother was a minor inconvenience. This incident was a one time thing. Any future physical relationship he would carefully monitor, let the lord have his fill until he grew bored and not lose himself as he had. The drug had been too potent, making him act like that. He wouldn’t allow that to happen. He had discipline over his mind and body. He was cold and calculating. Everyone said so. He just had to apply that behavior to this situation.</p><p>Feeling a bit better, he ran a hand through his hair, feeling embarrassment when he felt the clumps of the sticky substance in his long strands. Right. Bath first, mortification later.</p><p>He ignored Seiryu for the next several days. No matter how much the god talked to him or gave him attention, Itachi would not respond. Seiryu didn’t get discouraged. Since Itachi wasn’t sending him away, he must have realized he was being punished for the stunt pulled rather than Itachi hating him.</p><p>Despite Itachi’s silent treatment, the relationship between them had changed. Seiryu was touching him more, Itachi never pushed him away. Still standing on the idea that Seiryu would grow bored eventually, Itachi allowed it. It started out small, light touches on his shoulders, a brush to move hair away from his face, simple things. Before Itachi knew it, Seiryu was copping feels of his ass or more if he wasn’t careful.</p><p>He was lined up for inspection, Seiryu accompanying his master as they spoke. While Itachi was paying attention to Kakashi-san who was giving instructions, Seiryu copped a feel discretely as he passed behind them, not stopping his conversation with Hyuuga or even looking away.</p><p>Itachi, caught by surprise made a small noise which got him punished cleaning the outhouses. Even so, he didn’t reprimand Seiryu. He allowed it to satisfy Seiryu’s desires, he told himself. Eventually, he would stop and Itachi wouldn’t have to do a thing.</p><p>But Itachi did underestimate Seiryu. He was in the sleeping quarters, everyone out doing exercises while he was busied with sword polishing. He was just putting the weapon back on the wall when Seiyu embraced him from behind, kissing on his neck. It wasn’t the first time Seiryu had come up behind him and done this, yet Itachi’s body wanted to melt each time.</p><p>No. Restraint, he told himself. He would hold firm.</p><p>“Miss me?” Seiryu asked, slipping one hand into Itachi’s yukata to grope his breast while the other hand slipped into Itachi’s fold to fondle Itachi’s interested member.</p><p>His reaction wasn’t his fault, Itachi explained to himself. He hadn’t gotten off since that night. Of course Seiryu fondling him would make him a little turned on.</p><p>“My lord, behave yourself in my master’s house,” he said, but he made no moves to push Seiryu away.</p><p>“I think I have been quite behaved. No one is present, are they?”</p><p>Seiryu was pressing his hard member against him while stroking Itachi to bring him up to full hardness as well. Itachi tried not to lean back against him, trying to maintain control. “My lord, this is a sleeping quarters shared by others, we can’t make a mess in here,” he said, his voice wavering as he pushed down his pleasure.</p><p>Seiryu released his member. “Oh yes, you are correct.”</p><p>Itachi sighed with relief, though he did feel some disappointment.  He did not expect to be turned around by Seiryu or to see the god get down on his knees and separating the folds of the fabric of Itachi’s yukata. “Then we will just have to keep it clean, won’t we?”</p><p>Itachi’s eyes widened. He wouldn’t.</p><p>Seiryu would, taking Itachi’s member into his mouth.</p><p>Itachi fell back against the wall, his hands going to Seiryu’s head, confused if he should push him away or pull him closer. “M-my lord. W-what… you can’t.”</p><p>He hummed, the vibrations going through Itachi’s cock causing him to groan against his will. He couldn’t be seeing this right. He was a powerful god. How could he so easily get on his knees and…and do this.</p><p>Itachi was flustered. His fingers entwining with Seiryu’s hair and pushing him back lightly. “My lord, y-your image.”</p><p>Seiryu looked up from him, his intense stare turning Itachi on more. He only let Itachi’s member free so he could lick the underside lewdly, keeping eye contact the entire time and turning Itachi’s face completely red.</p><p>A smirk briefly appeared on Seiryu’s lips before taking Itachi’s scrotum into his mouth sucking on them gingerly.</p><p>Itachi’s ass clenched, craving the feeling of having Seiryu inside him again.</p><p>Nonononono. If this got out, what would people say, that he corrupted a god into acting like a prostitute. He had to get him to stop, but those eyes were pinning him into place as if to take it like a good boy.</p><p>“Uchiha-san,” a servant called from the door.</p><p>Panic filled Itachi, pushing Seiryu back, but the god refused to move, continuing his administrations.</p><p>“Uchiha-san?” the servant called out again.</p><p>That’s right, a servant wouldn’t enter the guard’s room unless given permission. He just had to answer. He tried to convey that desire to Seiryu as he answered. “What?”</p><p>Seiryu didn’t want to stop. Taking his member in his mouth again, sucking hard. Itachi let go of Seiryu to cover his mouth and drown a moan in his throat, throwing his head back in the process, his toes curling.</p><p>“Are you okay?” the servant asked, hearing the thump.</p><p>Itachi could barely open his eyes. Seiryu’s tongue was swirling around him. His head was bobbing, urging Itachi to rock his hips.</p><p>“Y-yes,” his voice cracked. “What did you come for?” he struggled to keep his voice neutral, but Seiryu was going to be his undoing, taking Itachi’s full length into his mouth.</p><p>“Hyuuga-sama wished for you to handle the reports returned from the western field team. He says to come to his office when you have the time.”</p><p>God, Seiryu was deep throating him with ease, Itachi was keeping his mouth covered to limit his sound, but Seiryu was not done with him, slipping fingers into his ass, filling that need Itachi was craving to have Seiryu inside him once more. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.</p><p>“Uchiha-san?”</p><p>“I’ll be there soon,” he responded.</p><p>The moment he finished with the servant, he grabbed Seiryu’s hair and started to fuck his mouth, thrusting his hips hard and shoving his dick in as deep as it would go. This was what Seiryu wanted from him right? His mouth was just so hot and inviting.</p><p>Seiryu was glad to accept it, finger fucking him as Itachi ravaged his mouth. Itachi couldn’t take it anymore, coming in Seiryu’s mouth, no longer thinking straight.</p><p> Seiryu drank it all, not missing a single drop as he sucked and milked Itachi dry for everything he had.</p><p>The action startled Itachi, pulling away and watching Seiryu lick his lips as if he had just received a delicious meal. Itachi’s face couldn’t become more flushed. In a god’s mouth he…</p><p>“You are surprisingly bashful, my white lotus. After everything we have done and yet you are still so shy.”</p><p>“We were almost caught,” Itachi replied, unable to look at him.</p><p>“I know,” he kissed Itachi’s limp member. “And it made you that much more excited.”</p><p>That wasn’t true, Itachi thought, denying the claim. But Seiryu was nuzzling Itachi’s member with his face, satisfied when Itachi’s member reacted with interest. “I need to be inside you.” Itachi’s eyes glanced at Seiryu’s erect cock that had been neglected.</p><p>That need returned, suddenly finding Seiryu’s fingers had not been enough. Seiryu took him against the wall from behind. Itachi had to keep his mouth covered to stifle his noises. It still felt so good even without the aphrodisiac. But this wasn’t for him, he reminded himself. He wasn’t enjoying this. It was a job. Just a job.</p><p>Despite saying they couldn’t dirty the room, Itachi still allowed the sex to happen. He didn’t stop it. Still accepted Seiryu’s semen inside him with secret bliss.</p><p>When it was over, Itachi felt they should do another round, just to get it out of their system, but reason won out. They were lucky not to get caught. He had to clean thoroughly to get the smell of sex out of the room before the others returned.</p><p>But Seiryu’s behavior over the next several months only gradually got worse. He would pursue Itachi whenever he was alone, touch him, whisper sweet words. Itachi would always refuse, try to dodge him, pull away from him, but he always gave in.  No matter the place, no matter how risky he knew it was, he could never fully push the god away. So, it was better not to meet. However, no matter where he tried to hide, Seiryu found him. The only way to keep Seiryu away was for Itachi to be around others where Seiryu could not do those things to him, but sometimes he would pull away from the group as if hoping Seiryu would come to take him.</p><p>Itachi realized too late that this was matching the rumored signs of what having a mate nearby was like. He only realized it when Sasuke started showing similar behavior, becoming distracted from his work, having the urge to find Naruto, and smelling heavily of sex upon his return. It had gotten so bad, Sasuke had abandoned his post one night to go to him. It was his master’s kindness and understanding that allowed Sasuke to escape punishment, but until the early stages of finding and having his mate passed, he was no longer allowed to go on missions.</p><p>It was seeing that Itachi was close to doing the same that made him accept a month-long mission. He did not want to be a slave to forces he did not understand. Upon his return, Seiryu’s agreed upon 4 months would be almost up. Itachi should be able to withstand the last couple of weeks left and turn the lord away one last time.</p><p>He didn’t plan to tell Seiryu of his plan, so the night before he left in a rare moment of calm, Itachi soaked in the hot spring, Seiryu sitting at the edge without touching him. He appeared deep in thought. His eyes were not focused, staring out into the abyss.</p><p>Itachi wanted to ask, but he stopped himself. He supposed there were things that even troubled gods. He exhaled heavily, leaning his head back against the rocks, trying to forget the fact he planned to leave Seiryu without telling him. He couldn’t understand why he was feeling guilty. They agreed to a physical relationship, nothing more. Itachi had no obligation to tell him anything.</p><p>Trying to distract himself, he looked up at a tree that had a branch hanging over the spring. Its leaves were dry and dying and mostly bare. It wasn’t the only thing dying in the area. The region was experiencing a massive drought. It had not rained much the past two months and it was only going to become hotter as it approached mid-summer.  “You should make it rain soon,” he said absentmindedly, catching a dead leaf that fell from the branch in his palm. “You shouldn’t slack off on your duties just because you’re here.”</p><p>Seiryu uncharacteristically looked over lazily to him. Smiling softly, leaning over Itachi and blocking his view with his face. “Worried about me?”</p><p>Itachi reached up, touching his face. Seiryu looked tired. His unearthly beauty had faded some. His hair was a little drier, his skin lost its glow. He looked a little more human. Itachi brushed it off as finally getting used to his appearance. He was still beautiful just not as beautiful as he had remembered him being.</p><p>“Why would I worry about someone who’s neglecting his duties.”</p><p>Seiryu’s smile turned a little sad. Leaning down, he pushed back Itachi’s hair, kissing his forehead. “I will make it rain tomorrow,” he whispered.</p><p>Itachi’s body reacted to the kiss, his member already stiffening for the attack he just knew would come, but Seiryu didn’t follow through, going back to staring out in space, having a slow and lazy conversation with Itachi.</p><p>Itachi wasn’t disappointed. That’s what he told himself. During the slow moments, when they could talk, Seiryu put Itachi’s mind at ease with intelligent conversations about anything and everything. He learned more about Seiryu, and Seiryu learned of him. But as it was their last night….</p><p>Perhaps he had just wanted one last taste before he left. Or more likely, his red string of fate was trying to force him to want Seiryu. He didn’t know. He left for his mission early the next morning.</p><p>It was the hardest month Itachi ever faced. Concentrating was difficult and he was horny constantly, but he endured, standing by that it was just a physical reaction. He didn’t feel anything for Seiryu. He found the sex a good way to release tension and since Seiryu was his first, his body wanted Seiryu to give it to him. He fought through it. He didn’t indulge at a brothel. Didn’t touch himself. Tried not to think of Seiryu. He managed to get through the mission, but he wanted to go home.</p><p>When he had returned, he was surprised to see how dead and dry the land had become. He wondered what that stupid dragon was doing. Was he so depressed because he had left, he stopped doing his duties? That was a laughable thought. Seiryu was a god, the humans must have angered him for some reason. But in the back of his head, he knew something was wrong.</p><p>He had served Hyuuga for a long time and witnessed Seiryu’s partnership, though he had not met the god in person until 6 months ago. Seiryu’s anger was mostly shown through tsunamis, not droughts. Well, he could ask when Seiryu undoubtedly came for him when he heard he was back.</p><p>But he did not come.</p><p>Itachi would wake, expecting Seiryu to be by his side. Look behind him when he was alone, expecting Seiryu to try to jump him. Go to the brothel to see if Seiryu had found another.</p><p>Meanwhile, Seiryu’s absence was having an effect on him. Maybe because he was closer to Seiryu compared to when he was farther inland, but the craving for sex was stronger. He couldn’t concentrate. And there was a hole in his heart that was bleeding more and more the longer Seiryu remained missing. He even gave in, touching himself, whispering Seiryu’s name over and over, but it only made his heart bleed more as doubt seeped into his thoughts.</p><p>Had he pushed Seiryu too far? Was leaving without saying anything the last straw? Had Seiryu found a bride after all?</p><p>He chuckled bitterly, pressing his forehead against the hot spring rocks after jerking off yet again in secret. He had tried so hard to fight it. Fight this feeling. Fight the pull. He knew he lusted after Seiryu. He also knew that it wasn’t just a physical reaction either.</p><p>When Seiryu asked how his day was, he would feel warmed that someone bothered to ask. He felt giddy whenever he had the chance to flaunt the knowledge he had learned when his comrades often lacked the knowledge to engage in such conversations. There were times he felt like crying because someone wanted to take care of him when not even his father had bothered.</p><p>He knew from the beginning he didn’t deserve Seiryu. It was one reason why he tried so hard to resist and knowingly stayed in denial. Because if he admitted it, he wouldn’t be able to stay away. Was it too late to want him now? Was he shameless to go after him, knowing he wouldn’t be able to able to accept his offer at being his bride?</p><p>A tear rolled down his face before he clamped down on his emotions once more. He hadn’t cried in almost 500 years. He was already too far gone. So the question was, had Seiryu really moved on?</p><p>It took over a day to work up his courage to ask his master about Seiryu. He was kneeling, waiting to receive orders from Hyuuga of his next assignment, trying to figure out how to broach the subject.</p><p>“Is there something you wish to ask, Uchiha-san?” His master asked as he wrote.</p><p>Uncertainty filled his heart. If he left it alone, Seiryu would be free from him. He could find his bride, a lovely, virtuous young woman who would devote her life to him. If he stayed quiet, it would be best for him.</p><p>But he was secretly selfish. He couldn’t leave it be. Not anymore. “I wished to inquire about Seiryu-sama… I was wondering when he planned to visit Hyuuga-sama again.”</p><p>His master took on a weary expression, and his eyes grew almost sympathetic towards him. “Seiryu-sama will not be returning. He broke off our partnership two weeks into your last mission.”</p><p>Fear and guilt clutched his chest. “I’m sorry master. I have lost you a valuable ally. I will go speak with him and ask him to reconsider. If he should vent his anger on anyone, it should be me.”</p><p>“He is not angry,” Hyuuga said, placing down his brush. Rarely did he ever stop in his work, making Itachi nervous. “It is that he is unable to continue our partnership.”</p><p>“I… I do not understand.”</p><p>“Uchiha-san… why do you think he takes a bride?”</p><p>“Because he finds human women appealing and improves his status amongst the gods.” Even as Itachi said it, he knew it wasn’t right. Seiryu never showed interest in the women or even people around him, and his past wives he didn’t seem to care about.</p><p>“Uchiha-san, Seiryu-sama takes a bride because he is cursed to do so. He cannot generate his own life force as the ability becomes sealed whenever his bride passes on. The gods did not want him to ascend to the heavens, so they tied his power down to the mortal realm with a mortal bride acting as his key to his powers. He does not take a bride by choice.”</p><p>Itachi felt bile rise in his throat as dread engulfed him at the implications his master has told him. “If he cannot generate his life force then…”</p><p>“Yes, Seiryu-sama is dying. He has grown too weak to serve his duties any longer.”</p><p>He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to shake his head and tell his master he was wrong, but he was unable. “If this is true, then the solution is simple. We provide him another bride.”</p><p>“’Uchiha-san.”</p><p>“Give me 24 hours, and I will find someone suitable for Seiryu-sama.” His mind was reeling with panic, trying to scrape up ideas.</p><p>“Uchiha-san.”</p><p>“12 hours. I just need 12 hours.”</p><p>“Itachi-kun.”</p><p>The gentle uses of his first name from his master temporarily gained Itachi’s attention. His breathing had grown ragged from the panic that threatened to overtake his mind. It just couldn’t be. Seiryu couldn’t be dying. He couldn’t let it. But if he needed a bride. It was an easy fix.  Seiryu would be alright. He had to be.</p><p>“He doesn’t want another bride. I’ve already offered to find him a replacement multiple times, but he declined each time. I do not believe he will take anyone else.”</p><p>Itachi couldn’t find words. “He… turned it down?” Why would he do that? This was his life.</p><p>“He didn’t want another loveless marriage. If he dies, someone will take his place. This is what he wants.”</p><p>That wasn’t fair. Wasn’t that basically placing his life in his hands. His hands trembled and he clenched them, trying to make them stop. “H-how long.”</p><p>“I do not know.  A week. Maybe less. The sea no longer makes waves. However long, there is not much time left.”</p><p>“Master…” Itachi started then faltered. “… I…” He gripped the fabric of his pants. Just say it. He wanted this, so why did he always hold himself back. “My contract…”</p><p>“Go see him. We’ll discuss the contract later.”</p><p>Itachi didn’t wait. He didn’t wait to be dismissed. Didn’t wait to change his clothes. Didn’t even tell Kakashi where he was going. He made Seiryu wait long enough.</p><p>He ran all the way to the beach, where Seiryu first saw him and where Seiryu saved him. The entrance to that realm had to be somewhere nearby.</p><p>“Seiryu-sama!” he yelled into the vast, dark emptiness of the sea. When he was met with silence, he ran into the water, stopping when the water came to his waist. “Seiryu-sama!”</p><p>He yelled out again and again, each time growing more frantic. Why wasn’t he responding? Was he too late already? He couldn’t be right?</p><p>He called again and again until his voice was becoming raw. He gradually went deeper and deeper into the water until his foot slipped on a rock and he fell in, falling under the surface.</p><p>Something grabbed him. Someone on each arm, pulling him deeper under the still water. It was too dark to see what had grabbed him. The hands were scaly on his skin and unfamiliar and still, he did not fight, trusting the creatures. He prayed that they would take him to Seiryu.</p><p>When he passed through a membrane, he found himself in a dry space. The once dark water gave way to the bright and luminescent undersea palace, grander and larger than any palace Itachi had ever seen. It was mostly Chinese architecture but held some hints of Japanese architecture as well. It was enchanting and intimidating.</p><p>A servant approached him. A young woman with pale white skin with light blue fins where her ears would be. She bowed to him. “Welcome to the Underwater Palace,” she said. “May I ask why you have come?”</p><p>“I wish to see Seiryu-sama.”</p><p>The woman’s eyes were judgmental when she glanced up at him, but she kept her head bowed as responded politely. “Seiryu-sama is not seeing anyone at this moment.”</p><p>“Please bring me to him. Or at least tell him I’m here.”</p><p>“Guest-san does not understand. Seiryu-sama has locked himself in his sanctuary. Only Seiryu-sama’s bride is allowed to enter during this time. Not even a servant can get in.”</p><p>There was a beat of silence.</p><p>“Please turn back, sir. When Seiryu-sama leaves the sanctuary—”</p><p>“I am his bride.” Itachi blurted. He already knew. Seiryu was probably too weak to open the sanctuary for others. Seiryu wasn’t going to come out.</p><p>The servant did not show any reaction to his words, merely replying in a polite but emotionless voice, “My apologies. I will have you prepared for the ceremony immediately.”</p><p>She led him inside. She walked at a normal pace which was maddening to Itachi’s frantic nerves. He was so close to him. Could feel him nearby even in this large palace. Why could she not walk faster? Was she not concerned for her master?</p><p>The servant brought him to a large bath. The smell of oils and incense filled the room. The bath was large enough to easily fit 20 people and petals floated in the water. Two more women were there waiting, bowing to him at his entrance.</p><p>“You need to purify your body. These young ones will help you.”</p><p>“Greetings, master,” they chimed together. “We will be your personal servants from now on. Please give us names and tell us the name of the master we now serve.”</p><p>Was now the time for this, he thought, absentmindedly giving his name. They didn’t move until he gave them names, so he named them the first thing that entered his mind. He named the one on the left Kiyoko and the one on the right Sumiko. He wasn’t sure if he would remember who he named what, but he didn’t care. Whatever got him to see Seiryu fastest.</p><p>The two women undressed him, Itachi feeling only the smallest amount of embarrassment at women seeing him naked, somehow feeling like it was cheating on Seiryu. The majority of him was too numb to the situation to care about social customs. If he made a fuss for male servants, it would only prolong the time it took to see Seiryu.</p><p>They had him step into the water. The women carefully washed his body and his hair, working in silence. It reminded him of Haru and Natsu. Though they worked at a decent pace, it never seemed fast enough. Everything was ceremonial. From the way they washed to him to the way they rinsed his hair.</p><p>After the bath, they used oils and perfumes on him and presented the ceremonial gown. Of course, it was a woman’s gown. Chinese in nature like most of everything else in the palace, it consisted of a top and bottom. Unlike the traditional wedding dress that was red, this dress was a dark blue with a golden dragon embroidered into the fabric with black trimmings on the edges. It was very beautiful. If he was a woman it would probably look nice on him. He wasn’t though. It felt like he would be lying if he put on this dress. He wasn’t really a bride. Bride implied woman after all.</p><p>“Is something wrong master?” Kiyoko asked, helping him dress.</p><p>“No,” he replied. Woman or not, he couldn’t let Seiryu die.  It wouldn’t be the first time he put on woman’s clothing, and it probably would not be the last. He never thought he would get married in something like this.</p><p>After the clothes came the hair. His long hair was combed and put into a bun. They adorned his head with gold hair ornaments, covered in jewels.  A crown-like piece on top with four hairpins, two on each side.</p><p>They moved to makeup, lightly powdering his face and painted his lips blood red. On his forehead, they painted the kanji for dragon.</p><p>He tried not to look at his reflection. Tried to think about how long this whole process was taking. Tried not to wonder if Seiryu was in pain. He had to endure and pray that Seiryu could wait a little longer.</p><p>When they finished, they escorted him further into the palace, down a set of stairs, leading into a corridor lined with torches. At the end, two large red wooden doors at least two stories tall with Seiryu’s name written in gold stood firmly closed. The maids did not approach with him.  From here on out, Itachi had to go alone.</p><p>His heart was beating rapidly. Fear, exhilaration, nervousness all surfaced, but his worry kept him going forward, placing his hands on the doors. The doors glowed softly. With a soft push, the door swung open with ease, allowing him to enter.</p><p>Itachi did not know how to describe the room. It was a large circular room. However, the edge of the room was literally water, forming a moat. The water was crystal clear with the purest shade of blue. Lilypads and lotuses floated on the top of the water peacefully. In the center of the room was a circular platform with an extravagant bed with red silk sheets and expensive embroidery. The ceiling was the most eye-catching. It was a dome of glass showing the night sky despite the room being located underground and underwater.</p><p>There was no time to take in the beauty. A dragon occupied the room. Its large head rested on the platform as its body was submerged beneath the water, only seeing the tip of its tail floating on the surface.</p><p>Itachi quickly crossed the handcrafted bridge, his eyes locked on the dragon, trying to assess it.</p><p>“Seiryu-sama?” he called out, slowing his approach once he stepped onto the platform. The dragon didn’t stir. He reached out, pausing before placing his hand on the dragon’s snout. This was Seiryu wasn’t it?</p><p>The skin was freezing to the touch, the scales had no luster, the silver-blue mane was dry and brittle, and his breath was weak. “Seiryu,” he said gently, pressing his forehead against the dragon’s. “I’m here.”</p><p>The dragon stirred a little. Opening its large blue-green eyes slowly and raising his head lethargically. The dragon’s head was larger than Itachi’s body, and some of the dragon’s body rose out of the water, giving a small glimpse of the dragon’s massive size.</p><p>A low rumble sounded from the dragon’s throat, a sound between a growl and a purr. Lowering his head once more to press his muzzle against Itachi’s hand, closing his eyes in bliss.</p><p>“Stubborn fool. You should have told me.”</p><p><strong><em>What are you doing here?</em></strong> Seiryu’s voice resonated in his head, booming.</p><p>“I came to save you.”</p><p>The dragon pulled back from Itachi, submerging himself underwater. Itachi fell to his knees, looking over the edge and trying to see in the water’s depths. Despite being clear, it was apparently very deep, hiding Seiryu from his view.</p><p> Worried Seiryu had fallen unconscious, he almost went into the water himself. Seiryu popped up from the water right before Itachi followed, in human form, struggling to pull himself onto the platform. Itachi assisted him, pulling him up into his arms embracing him.</p><p>Seiryu’s form was thinner than he remembered. To prove just how weak he had become, he stayed in Itachi’s arms, unable to move for some time. His skin on his face turning scaly before reverting back.</p><p>“Itachi-san,” He whispered. “I thought you wouldn’t come.”</p><p>“You should have found someone else,” he said, burying his hands in Seiryu’s locks. “You shouldn’t have waited for me.”</p><p>“I didn’t want you to think I was forcing your hand.” He pushed against Itachi, sitting up with great difficulty. “You don’t have to do this.” He brought his hand to Itachi’s cheek, caressing it lovingly. “Not if you do not wish to.”</p><p>“Do you wish to turn me away after I’ve come so far? Or do I not match the image of a bride as you thought?”</p><p>Seiryu smiled. He looked so frail, adding to Itachi’s guilt. The odd things he had noticed about Seiryu’s appearance before he had left was now more pronounced. If he had asked sooner, he would have prevented this. He had seen the signs. It didn’t help when he said, “You are the most beautiful bride I have ever received. No one has ever been close to being your equal.”</p><p>“Liar,” Itachi whispered.</p><p>“I cannot lie to you.” Seiryu tried to stand, but his legs gave out, requiring Itachi’s help. “My clothes….”</p><p>Itachi followed his line of sight, seeing a set of clothes on a rack beside the bed. Tentatively, he let Seiryu go to get the clothes, returning as quickly as he could. He helped Seiryu dress, thankful that the clothes were not complicated or anything ceremonial like his. “Dressing to take it off soon after seems wasteful,” he commented, adjusting the sash around his waist.</p><p>“Should I make my vow to the heavens naked then?” he teased.</p><p>Itachi flushed, finishing the task.</p><p>“Do not worry. The ceremony will be quick. I do not have the strength to perform the ceremony properly.”</p><p>Itachi assisted Seiryu to a circle painted on the floor. It was a short journey, but Seiryu was paling by the second from the walk. Sweat was beading on his brow, and his scales were flickering into existence until he was able to stop and rest. Itachi had to set up the rest of the ceremony, finding and placing the ceremonial cups and drink.</p><p>Itachi kneeled inside the circle with Seiryu and the ceremony began. It went by in a blur, Itachi used every bit of his willpower not to object when doubt crept into his mind about being worthy. He listened to Seiryu’s instructions, bowing and offering tribute to the heavens, and Seiryu reciting something Itachi could not remember. The sake was poured, and they drank from their respective cups.</p><p>Once the wine was consumed, Itachi felt his forehead tingle, and Seiryu leaned forward kissing the mark that had been painted there.</p><p>“From today onward, you are my “wife”,” Seiryu smiled a little, continuing on with the ritual’s words. “You are to serve me for the rest of your days with body and mind until death.” He held Itachi’s hands tightly, trying to ease the anxiety the words caused in him. “In return, my love and devotion are yours and only yours.”</p><p>The last part wasn’t part of the ritual. Seiryu had set it only to counteract what was basically a contract of servitude, only possible because Itachi was not a woman. He did not have to fit in the traditional role of wife, and Seiryu wanted him to know that. For Seiryu, as a god forced to go through with this, had no obligation to be loyal or love any of his partners or give them anything in return. For the first time, Itachi felt bad for the women before him.</p><p>Seiryu nearly collapsed once more once the formal part of the ceremony was completed. Being in human form was sapping what little life he had left quickly. If he reverted back to dragon form, then the ritual could not be completed and Seiryu would die, making this all for naught.</p><p>It was Itachi who took the initiative, picking Seiryu up in his arms, carrying him bridal style to the bed. He knew the basics of how this was supposed to work. When they were joined, Seiryu was to get access to his powers once more, using Itachi’s lifeforce as a key. Seiryu was obviously unable to take control, so it was going to be up to Itachi to take control this time.</p><p>“Give me a minute,” Seiryu said after being placed on the bed. “I’ll be ready in a moment.”</p><p>Itachi pushed him down on the bed. “You don’t have much time left,” he said, getting on top of Seiryu, straddling him. “Let me do the work this time.”</p><p>Getting Seiryu’s robe off, Itachi tried to make it as sensual as possible. Running fingers across bare skin, kissing, moving on top of Seiryu, but Seiryu’s body was having trouble reacting. Should he resort to using that after all?</p><p> He didn’t want to resort to that, but after a while of a had job barely getting a reaction from Seiryu, it was clear Seiryu was too weak and needed assistance.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Seiryu whispered, his breathing heavily as if he was struggling to do so.</p><p>Itachi could no longer afford to wait. His fangs extended. He nuzzled Seiryu’s neck affectionately, trying to put Seiryu’s mind at ease. “Don’t worry about it.” His fangs trailed along his skin. He pierced the skin lightly, leaving small puncture marks. He couldn’t bite down hard. Seiryu’s body would not be able to handle blood loss too. Which meant Itachi had to leave many small pinpricks all over his body, slowly working down.</p><p>Vampire venom was an aphrodisiac. That’s why their victims never screamed in pain when bitten, dying in pleasure rather than in pain. Without being able to bite down, Itachi could only prick the surface leaving tiny doses in his wake.</p><p>Though Itachi was barely breaking the skin, he did taste a little of his blood, knowing how blasphemous this would be, how many demons would crave to have this opportunity. Seiryu’s blood was a full bodied flavor, that entranced Itachi’s senses. An ambrosia that words could not describe that spread a warmth throughout his body. He wanted to taste more, wanted to give into his desires with this man beneath them, but Seiryu’s trembling body would bring him to reality.</p><p>His bites did have the necessary effect. Seiryu finally getting an erection. Not wanting to waste this opportunity, Itachi did not wait, not knowing how long Seiryu could maintain it in his condition.</p><p>Adjusting his dress, he lowered himself onto Seiryu’s cock, closing his eyes at this feeling he had been missing and craving for the past month, but he could not take pleasure in it. Seiryu’s hands held his waist as always, but strong hands that had felt safe, a stable entity that Itachi could rely on, held him weakly with no strength in his grip. His body that had always been vibrant with life and health, was thin and frail that could hardly move.</p><p>He did this to him. His stubbornness had reduced Seiryu to this.</p><p>His tear fell down his cheek as he moved, leaning down to suck on Seiryu’s nipples, biting lightly to try to make it more pleasurable for the god underneath him.</p><p>Itachi’s forehead tingled where the mark of Seiryu had been painted. His body warming. It felt like there was a gentle embrace of energy, leading him to Seiryu, like Seiryu’s presence wrapping itself around him. A few more tears fell from Itachi’s eyes as the feeling overwhelmed him. Seiryu was really his, and he had really become Seiryu’s wife.</p><p>Seiryu grunted, releasing inside Itachi. It seemed that energy that had filled Itachi drew to Seiryu. Seiryu breathed in deeply. Before his eyes, some color returned to Seiryu’s face, his hair, gaining a little bit of luster that he had been familiar with.   </p><p>Itachi embraced him, burying his face in Seiryu’s chest. He was still cold, but he was warming, giving him reassurance that Seiryu would be okay.</p><p>“I’m sorry I was unable to give you a proper wedding night,” Seiryu whispered into the top of Itachi’s head.</p><p>Itachi stared out blankly, feeling the guilt return. “Are you sure I am the bride you wanted?”</p><p>“Are you still determined to have doubt after everything?” Seiryu chuckled.</p><p>“I… I am not a good person.”</p><p>“I disagree.”</p><p>Itachi shook his head. “When I was a child, I was very sick. I had a weak heart, and the doctors would constantly tell me I wouldn’t live to see adulthood. As a result, my father became ashamed of me, his sickly son. I was nothing more than an embarrassment to him. He went so far as to let rumors of my death spread and kept me locked up in my room, and eventually stopped sending doctors to me.</p><p>“Sasuke was the only company I had. Father didn’t treat him much better. He was a sensitive child, and his mother died shortly after he was born. He cried often and wanted affection. Whenever Father went off to war, I was the one who cared for Sasuke, taught him his lessons, let him sleep beside me, made sure he ate. We are only 6 years apart but Sasuke became a son to me.</p><p>“Then Father took him from me. Father said I should learn my place, and Sasuke needed to learn of war, not literature. I had not seen my father in years, and he only appeared to ban me from seeing Sasuke and planned to take him onto the battlefield.</p><p>“I knew my father’s battle strategies. He won purely on massive numbers and often suffered major casualties. In his desire to have a son with accomplishments to his name, he was going to have an eleven-year-old fight.</p><p>“I was angry. I wanted revenge on him. I heard of a cousin in our clan who had not aged and survived a fatal wound and was rumored to have the favor of the gods, so I reached out telling him my story. A month later, we met, and he turned me.</p><p>“The moment I could, I ran away. For the first time, I could see the world for myself, could move without being out of breath or in pain, and what I decided to use the freedom for was to topple my father’s army. I wanted to prove that my studies weren’t useless, that I had value. I didn’t care about the consequences. I was short-sighted.</p><p>“With a few words, I cut off supplies and told my father’s enemy his weakness. I thought Sasuke wasn’t going to be at the battle. He was supposed to be delivering a message to my uncle and nowhere near the manor or the battlefield, but he returned to look for me, not knowing I had left. No one had cared to tell him that I ‘died’ four months prior.</p><p>“My father’s army fell, and their enemies killed and murdered everyone in the manor… and I was happy. Satisfied. Until I found out about Sasuke. I don’t know what made them spare him, but they took him.” Tears fell down Itachi’s face. Even after so long, the pain he felt back then still felt fresh.  “He suffered for months before I could find him, but the damage was done. Because of my anger and selfishness, I hurt and killed a lot of people. Especially the one person closest to me.”</p><p>In a small voice, he asked one more time, “After knowing who I really am, can you still say you are happy it is me?”</p><p>“You were young and in pain. Making a mistake was to be expected. In my young years, I caused wars and killed for much, much less. Will you be dissatisfied with me knowing that?”</p><p>“No, Seiryu-sama.”</p><p>“Just call me Seiryu,” he kissed his cheek, making Itachi flushed.</p><p>“Seiryu,” Itachi murmured. It felt weird to say something so informally to a god, but Seiryu just smiled fondly at him, rolling on top of him.</p><p>“I’m still a bit weak,” he pressed his forehead against Itachi’s. “Will you let me partake, Itachi?”</p><p>The intimate use of his name made Itachi unable to deny Seiryu’s wants. Not that he wanted to deny Seiryu anymore. Body. Heart, Seiryu owned it all.</p><hr/><p>Itachi stayed for the next month, helping Seiryu to regain his power, but he also stayed because he couldn’t think of anything else. It was like his body was trying to make up for the time missed for the period of denial Itachi went through. They hardly left the bed, and when they did, it would usually end up the same way. He was addicted to Seiryu, but eventually, he had to go back to take care of things back home.</p><p>In one of the rare moments Itachi was able to control his desires, he sat in the palace gardens, his maids nearby. He was thankful Seiryu ordered him male clothing. Ones that were easy to move in too, though, it did make impromptu sex sessions a little more difficult compared to a yukata.</p><p>When he had time to think, the more he felt he didn’t belong in a palace. Being waited on, not having anything to do but leisurely pursuits made him more anxious rather than relaxed. How did noblewomen live this life?</p><p>He heard Seiryu approach, his desires piquing interest once more. Damn, he needed to get this under control. His eyes turned to the god, back to his full transcendent glory. Control was overrated, he decided, thinking about sex amongst the flowers. He really lost his ability to have shame, and Itachi was beginning not to care anymore.</p><p>Within the palace, Seiryu was dressed more formally, looking more like a god than the casual clothes that he wore outside. Itachi loved peeling off the many layers he wore, knowing only he has ever been allowed to do so.</p><p>Seiryu sat beside him. “You seem distracted, my love. What are you thinking about?”</p><p>“Sasuke mostly,” Itachi admitted.</p><p>“Do you miss him?”</p><p>With a nod, Itachi laid his head on Seiryu’s shoulder. “I know I’m not supposed to leave but…”</p><p>“Who said you had to stay? You are not a woman who must stay in the house after marriage. If you wish, you can continue your life as you have.”</p><p>Itachi sat up, stunned.</p><p>“Why are you surprised? You act as if I am not a benevolent god.”</p><p>“Is that… Is that really okay?” Itachi asked with uncertainty.</p><p>Seiryu leaned in, capturing his lips. Itachi melted into the kiss, pulling Seiryu in closer. He couldn’t get enough of this man’s taste. Seiryu had to be the one to break it when Itachi was starting to find the sashes that kept his clothes closed. “There are a few conditions of course.”</p><p>Itachi growled, forcing Seiryu to the ground. “Sex first, talking later,”</p><p>Seiryu smiled, putting his hands on Itachi’s waist. “Are we still trying for a baby?” he joked, but Itachi was already opening the top of his gi.</p><p>Looking down at Seiryu with lustful eyes, he smiled seductively, pulling Seiryu in with his charm and sexuality. “Are you backing out on your promise?” he asked.</p><p>“Not at all.” Seiryu’s hands moved to Itachi’s ass.</p><p>Itachi’s maids excused themselves, just in time to avoid seeing their masters lose the last bit of self-control they had for the third time that day.</p><hr/><p>The conditions Seiryu set were surprisingly simple. The first was that Itachi was no longer allowed to seduce other men for his missions. Itachi was rather fine with that condition. He never liked doing it, so it wasn’t a loss.</p><p>The second condition was that Itachi had to live in a house prepared for him outside his master’s manor. Apparently, Seiryu had heard the negative comments others said about Itachi and would kill whoever said something bad about his mate. To avoid that, he wanted Itachi away from them when he could, not letting them share his sleeping quarters. Itachi did not mind this either. Seiryu and Itachi were still at it like rabbits, so a separate residence made things a little easier to scratch that itch when it came.</p><p>The third was that his life had to be placed as a priority over his missions. While Seiryu was willing to let Itachi continue his job, he would not stand for Itachi sacrificing himself for Hyuuga’s sake or anyone else’s. If Itachi died, the humans would suffer Seiryu’s wrath. This stipulation led to a long conversation between his master and Seiryu. In the end, his master gave his contract of servitude to Seiryu and hired Itachi as a third party, making Itachi the only outsider involved with the shadow guard duties. Hyuuga’s control over Itachi was now limited.</p><p>Itachi still referred to Hyuuga as master, but technically, he had no reason to anymore. His duties also shifted more to training and managing the humans in the guard, including the ones that had mocked him before. As their superior and now the “wife” of a god, they didn’t dare say anything where he could ever hear them. Itachi however did get to spend more time with the children as a result. That was one thing he didn’t mind.</p><p>Itachi was entertaining his brother at his new home. The house was large enough to provide space for Itachi, Seiryu, and a couple of servants and guests. Itachi’s maids refused to be left at the palace, and Seiryu agreed, so they had moved in as well. It was located in the mountains away from others but within walking distance to the Hyuuga manor. In other words, it was a perfect location for Itachi, and his brother was able to visit often, putting Itachi’s mind at ease.</p><p>Itachi and Sasuke were playing go when Seiryu returned from his trip to the heavens. It took a good three years for the initial pull and lust of a new mate to wear off. Of course, that meant Seiryu and Itachi had been highly distracted for the time being and negligent on some duties. Seiryu had to go to the heavens to resolve some issues once he was able to be away from Itachi for any length of time.</p><p>Itachi became instantly distracted, smiling lovingly at his husband, getting up to greet him. “You’re late,” he said in lieu of the traditional “welcome back”.</p><p>Seiryu bent down to place a small kiss despite the company that was able to see it. While Itachi was more conservative with his affection in front of others, Seiryu did not care even if his brother-in-law was sitting meters away. “I’m back,” he whispered, getting another kiss in before Itachi pushed him away in embarrassment.</p><p>“I guess I’ll take my leave then,” Sasuke spoke up, getting uncomfortable with the open affection between them. “I’ll see you soon, Aniki.”</p><p>“I’ll walk you out,” Itachi tried to go to his brother, but Seiryu dragged him into his arms, hugging him from behind.</p><p>“It has been four whole days. Are you going to neglect me?” Seiryu asked, placing his head on his shoulder.</p><p>Four days was a long time for them. Itachi sighed contently and turned in his arms to face him. “I never knew a god could be so needy,” he teased gently.  “So what did you bring me from your trip?”</p><p>Seiryu mysterious smile crossed his lips which was never a good thing for Itachi’s heart. He pulled away from Itachi. His hand disappeared into his sleeve and like magic, he pulled out a small creature that fit in the palm of his hand. It was cat like in appearance but had feather wings and little protruding horns on its tiny head. It looked up at with defiance Itachi with the biggest yellow eyes, barring his little fangs and growling.</p><p>“This child has no mother or father and was sentenced to death by the other gods.  He is called a chaotic torrent, meant to bring misfortune, but ultimately, this child has done nothing wrong. I did not feel it was right to standby and let him be killed for something he had not yet done.”</p><p>Itachi picked him up. The being had intelligent eyes and could understand them, meaning he was some type of high level god or demon even if he was just a baby now. The young child swatted his paw at Itachi and tried to bite him, but Itachi only smiled.</p><p>“He will be difficult to raise and will take a few years before he can learn to take human form, but if you wish, we can raise him.”</p><p>“Who else will raise him if we do not,” Itachi responded, cradling the demon in his arm, even as the creature tried to bite his arm through the fabric of his clothes. “We’ll need to prepare the house for him.”</p><p>“I’ll have someone come over as soon as possible,” he replied, petting the small demon’s head. He kissed Itachi’s forehead as well. “I kept my promise, right?”</p><p>“Mhm,” Itachi readjusted the demon, already getting attached as its little fighting spirit tuckered the creature out. It yawned, showing its barely in baby teeth. “He can sleep with me tonight.”</p><p>“What of me?” Seiryu asked. From his tone, he was in the mood.</p><p>To be honest, Itachi was too, but, “Kuro-kun, comes first,” he said, walking away to decide which bedroom he was going to give to his new son.</p><p>He finally had someone who loved him dearly, and the child he always wanted but never dared to dream of having. As Seiryu followed, talking baby names, Itachi could not help but feel he could not wish for anything more. He had everything he wanted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>White lotus: Is a chinese description for a woman who seems innocent and sweet on the outside but the opposite on the inside.</p><p>White moonlight: is used to describe a woman a man loves but was never able to have. Basically, an unrequited love that exited a man's life.</p><p>Just a reminder, the Japanese language is rather gender-neutral and is very nuanced and can have a lot of implied subjects. They also do not use pronouns as much. So Neji and Sasuke can be using 'he' because they knew Itachi was a man without Seiryu realizing they are referring to a man.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Twin Letters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Onii-san,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I understand why you will not talk to me. It is strange. For as long as I can remember we have never fought. Disagreed perhaps, but never fought. I had always thought we were of one mind, but that was naïve of me as we are two different beings. I have my reasons. Would you please take a moment to listen?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haru</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>You ask for my understanding, but I cannot understand why you would provoke Master and risk your life for that foreigner. Are you tired of living? Using the word “my” in regards to Master's mate. Asking for death would not have been so direct. That foreigner has unsettled Master’s mind and brings scrutiny and shame to Master’s name, yet you wish to help him. How many servants had been punished because of him? How often does he trouble Master with his selfish behavior? His blatant disrespect when addressing him. How can you stand by his side and continue to serve him? Forgive me, but I do not understand what illness has clouded your mind so. If you wish to continue with this foolishness, leave me out of it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Natsu</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Onii-san,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your words were harsh in the answer I received, but you were still at my side during my punishment and as my wounds healed. Your words are harsh, but your actions are gentle. Master has always acted in the same way. His words have always been cold, but he still cared for us. While we honor our father, Master has always been at our side, filling our father’s role. We dedicated our life as payment for everything he has done for us, but we cannot fill the role of family for him. Though mother has now passed, we still have one another to rely on, to plead for. Master has no one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Master cares for those around him but allows no one to care for him. I cannot imagine what master was like when he was our age, but these few decades alone, have you not seen his health deteriorate? Has he not grown colder? More distant? The days Master would not eat and drown himself in drink increase. His routines strict. If he did not work, he drank or slept. Could you call that living?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Since the young master has come, Master has taken time to care for himself and has shown more emotions. That foreigner has brought out more emotions the past couple of moons than we have seen in half a century. The young master is bringing life to Master and soothing his wounded heart. Is it not our duty to ensure his happiness?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haru</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Haru,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our first priority is and has always been Master’s wellbeing. The arrival of this foreigner is indeed making him softer, but is that a blessing? Making master vulnerable? We do not even know this foreigner’s intentions. We have heard of tales of mates but have never witnessed them ourselves. Master has become unstable and unfocused. I cannot trust that this foreigner is what is best for him.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>I cannot fault you for your doubts. You have not seen what I have seen. You did not see the devastation on the young master’s face when he caught the master with a woman or see how he worries over Master’s health. The young master is young and lacks the ability to express his thoughts as he wishes. As I serve him, I see how he tries to find ways to help Master or put him at ease, unaware how his presence has been more effective than any gesture could be. But as things stand, he will never get over Master’s defenses by himself. If I must provoke Master, if I must anger him to make Master more aware of his presence, or if I must separate them to keep master from realizing the young master’s feelings too soon, I will. I wish you would stand with me. But if not, I will not blame you.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Do you know of the rumors that have spread amongst the soldiers? That Master brings a man to his bed? Your spectacle has only made the rumors worse.  When Master hears of this, do you </em>
  <em>believe that he will do nothing?</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Then I will make sure he will never hear of them.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Diary 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I cannot express the gratitude I feel toward Haru for setting up a separate tent for me last night. I do not know how I managed to control my body when Yuji kept insisting on walking about nearly nude yesterday, but once he left me, I could not help but dwell on that moment. The way he caressed my cheek, staring at my face with an indiscernible expression. As he stared, his face neared mine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I thought my heart would explode. My chest felt so tight as it pounded. My nerves stopped me from breathing. Afraid that if I moved, he would draw away. I truly thought he was going to kiss me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I should have kept my mouth shut.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The moment Yuji left me alone in our tent, I could no longer ignore what I wished to dwell on. His naked body near mine, the cloth covering his crotch soaked and heavy. My body responded, and I started to touch myself. I am ashamed of my lack of control. Yuji could have returned for any number of reasons, yet I still dared to do that. I was fortunate it was only Haru who caught me before I further disgraced myself. He suggested the switch, and I agreed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As I suspected would happen, I dreamt of him that night. My decision to leave was the correct one. Haru cleaned my soiled clothes discreetly. When he arrived this morning, his clothes were torn and had spots of blood though he did not appear injured in any way. When I asked, he apologized for his unsightly appearance and told me it wouldn’t happen again. I wonder if he slept. I do not know Haru well, but I am certain he would not show himself in such a state if he had the time to change. I do not understand him. I assume he was sent on Yuji’s orders, but he attends to me so attentively. I cannot understand why he is helping me, but I am grateful. I do not think I would have the confidence to try to pursue him otherwise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I want to think that perhaps there is a chance. That perhaps Yuji also thinks of me. Does one usually touch someone else so gingerly?  Look at someone’s eyes so intensely?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I fear that I may be projecting, confusing friendship for more. My biggest fear is that my senses are blinded by my lust. But is it lust or love? Is it even possible to love someone of the same gender? I do not know. I know nothing of what love is. My father, who had many wives, never loved my mother. He did not even attend her funeral. My brother is the same way, focusing on work and takes wives if it will help him politically. Any other children of my father avoid me, so I do not know them, and I have not seen my wife since our wedding. Marriages all arranged, siblings trying to kill each other for the throne, yet we are supposed to say there is love somewhere. Yet love between the same gender should not be possible, only lust and therefore sin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I cannot deny I lust for him, but I am certain there is something else. Seeing him smile at me, hold my hand, constantly worrying about me, I am filled with an emotion I cannot name. I feel lightheaded, my cheeks turn hot, and I wish for the moment to stretch for eternity. I want to talk to him, frustrated when I cannot tell him everything in my head, limited by a language barrier I am trying to quickly surpass. Sitting beside him talking today, I felt relaxed, and even when fearful that the river would drag me away with its current, I trusted Yuji not to let that happen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have never trusted someone to keep me safe or care for me. I managed to survive because I choose to rely on myself, but I find more and more, I want him to care for me, coddle me. I want to be cared for and be the center of his attention.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can almost laugh at those thoughts. Not only lust but greed as well. Yuji would never only look at me. If women cannot love me how can I expect a man to? And yet I have no plans to stop. As Haru sits beside me, rubbing the ink as I write, my mind wanders to how I can get closer to him, how I can prolong these feelings, these moments. I am thinking about a spar today, and perhaps a game of go as well. Yuji’s eyes are always brightest during these activities. His smile is more natural, slipping through his cracks more frequently.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>These thoughts please me, and I cannot wait to see his smile.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Desperation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days passed by peacefully. Neji would go to the boy’s tent in the mornings for breakfast, do some of his morning duties, invite the boy to have lunch with him if he was able, then go back to work in the afternoons. The boy would come to his tent for dinner if Neji wasn’t busy, and they would talk or play go or shogi. If Neji managed some free time, sometimes he would spar with the boy or go horseback riding. Neji quite enjoyed these moments. The quieter moments relieved his stress as he got to know a little bit more about the boy and his culture. The more active ones were met with challenge and some excitement. His headaches, which had once been frequent, seemed far away, and he was beginning to enjoy his time at the camp.</p><p> Haru kept out of his sight as often as he could, much to Neji’s quiet satisfaction. Every time he saw Haru, his mood would sour. He could remove Haru from the boy’s side, but there truly was no one else that could serve the boy despite his suspicions. Haru had not overstepped his bounds since and started calling the boy young master, much more preferable than what he had been using before.</p><p>Neji failed to notice that his stance on the boy’s status in his household had changed. No longer was the boy an “honorable guest” but now accepted as the definitive “young master” around the camp. He did not realize that the term that once brought anger when used to refer to the boy was now accepted by him.</p><p>He leaned forward to place his white stone on the board, capturing four of Gaara’s black. “You are getting better, but you are still far too young to surpass me.”</p><p>The boy snorted, placing another stone, extending his chain. “You are not much older.”</p><p>Neji didn’t comment. In time, he would tell the boy what he was if it became unavoidable, but for now, it was easier for him to assume he was only a few years older than him. “You should concede. There’s no way for you to win.”</p><p>“I know, but need practice if I want win in the future.”</p><p>Neji smirked, placing his stone down. “It must be nice to be young. Still full of optimism.”</p><p>The boy’s eye twitched, Neji hitting a nerve with his taunting. Sometimes, it was fun just to annoy the boy a little.</p><p>Their private time was interrupted by a soldier outside the tent delivering a message. “Excuse me, Hyuuga-sama, a letter has arrived from the Hyuuga manor.”</p><p>Neji frowned, sitting up straighter as he told the messenger to enter. A young man entered, bowing to Neji as he handed over a letter with two hands. Neji took the letter, opening it immediately, and reading through the contents. “Inform Asuma-san that I will be leaving immediately. Natsu, prepare for our departure.”</p><p>Neji was already getting up, his mind going to the contents of the letter. Sugo said they found the spy among the staff and was waiting for his instruction on what to do. There was so much he wanted to know. Who dared to betray him? Who were they working for? Had they always planned to betray him or had they been bought off? Before anything else happened, he wanted to interrogate this traitor himself.</p><p>“Neji?” The boy’s uncertain voice called out to him, the boy having also stood though much more slowly than Neji had. He looked at him with concern with those green eyes.</p><p>Neji’s guard dropped a little as he regarded the boy. He should tell him something. “There is trouble at home. I have to leave to take care of it. You will remain here and come back with Nara-san and the others.” For some reason, he felt conflicted. His anger was simmering, ready to lash out at the nearest person. He wished he could fly to his manor to see that traitor’s face this moment and deliver a long drawn out punishment until that traitor was nothing more than a husk of a creature left. This was a feeling he was familiar with, the feeling of wanting revenge and give himself justice. Normally, those thoughts were all he would be capable of. His mind wanted to turn to the matter at hand and tune everything else out, but something about the boy was drawing out another emotion. Was it regret?</p><p>“You will be safe here,” he told the boy as if to reassure him, but his thoughts could not help but move on once he did. He had to change into his traveling clothes. If he rode quickly and changed out horses, he could make it in three days. He should feed once he left camp too. His strength had dwindled over the prolonged day schedule he had been on and needed to recover some of it.</p><p>As he turned away from the boy, the boy grabbed his sleeve tightly, stopping him from leaving. Natsu stepped forward to intervene, but a quick glance from Neji made him step down.</p><p>“I come too,” the boy said firmly.</p><p>He should be mad that the boy was delaying him and even dared to grab hold of his person, but his hardened expression relaxed to a degree as he told him, “I have to travel quickly. I cannot take you like last time.”</p><p>“No need. I better rider than you.” The boy’s Japanese was rough and stilted as if he was putting little thought into his words and needing to get his want across as quickly as possible. “I go too.”</p><p>“It’ll be a long ride, and you might be seen,” he tried again, but seeing the boy’s face, Neji knew the boy was aware of the risks associated with his request. It was a selfish request. Neji had no obligation to even consider it. The fewer people who traveled with him, the better.</p><p>“Natsu, prepare a horse for Gaara-san as well.”</p><p>Natsu looked between them before bowing and going off to do as he was told.</p><p>Neji went back to his tent to prepare, ensuring the things he needed were properly packed. By the time, he went to his horse, Gaara was already mounted and waiting. Gaara wore a cloth mask to cover his face, leaving his eyes exposed. It covered less, but it would protect from a distance. As long as they kept riding, it should be sufficient.</p><p>Neji mounted his own horse, two guards with them. Haru and Natsu were not very skilled on a horse and would be left behind, returning with the rest of the party at a slower pace. Gaara brought his horse next to Neji’s, meeting his eyes. Something about the boy’s gentle green eyes calmed the raging anger. It was still there, but it did not feel as if Neji would be consumed by it. He even managed a small smile at the boy whose eyes smiled back, and they took off.</p><hr/><p>They traveled both night and day. Neji was worried the long and harsh ride would be difficult on the boy, instead, it was like the boy was thriving under the harsh conditions. He showed no signs of fatigue and his riding was riding better than even his guards after two days. They stopped to switch horses a few times during their ride. He thought the boy would stop to at least eat, but he did not once open his mouth to ask for a break or complain about a single thing.</p><p>Given that the boy had been to war, perhaps his resilience was to be expected. It probably wasn’t the first time he had to go without food or had to stay up for multiple days in a row, but as it was the third day, Neji knew it would be beneficial for both of them to stop and rest for a few hours. It was Neji’s intention to do so once they passed through a narrow mountain path.</p><p>The road was narrow but used quite often to transport cattle and rice. The path was unavoidable without going completely around the mountain, and the river below was raging from recent rain. They had to move slowly to stay safe despite Neji’s impatience to get home. Which made it a perfect path for an attack.</p><p>There was one guard in front and one guard behind them. Neji was second and the boy was following him. It was dusk, so visibility was at its worst, not dark enough for his night vision to activate but not enough light to see properly. Maybe it was because he forgot a normal human was with him that he had been more aware of a possible attack. Even attacked, Neji would not die easily. He’d have to be decapitated or have a large object go through his heart to kill him. Since the boy had not caused a fuss, he temporarily forgot such a simple thing as his mind homed in on what to do with the traitor in his home.</p><p>They did not notice the person in the trees above, slight movements hidden by the extending shadows of late day, positioned downwind to avoid their smell being picked up by them. They did not see the black arrow tip that hid the shine of the metal. They did not notice the arrow fly until it hit just in front of Neji’s horse causing his horse to rear up.</p><p>Neji cursed. This was not his horse but one they had traded out for in a village. Easily startled, the horse refused to move forward or react quickly as more arrows came for him. Drawing his sword, he hit some of those arrows out of the air, searching for the attacker in the trees above, but the cliffs in addition to his poor visibility was making it difficult.  The guard in front of him, named Iruka, stood on his saddle before attempting to jump up the cliff. He was hit by an arrow mid-jump, hitting near his heart and temporarily stunning him as he fell back down.</p><p>Neji cursed, thinking of the shelter they needed to get to. What if Gaara was hit by one of those arrows?</p><p>Just as he thought that he heard the guard in the rear scream, “Young master!”</p><p>Neji took his eyes off the attack, turning his head to see that Gaara’s horse had been hit, causing it to rear as well. The wet and loose soil near the edge of the path gave out, causing both the horse and Gaara to fall over the edge, the boy’s shocked and startled face being the last thing Neji saw before getting hit in the back by an arrow. Neji’s horse was quickly the next casualty.</p><p>The guard that had been following Gaara, named Shisui, made Neji his priority, jumping from his horse to catch Neji before Neji tumbled down the cliff along with his horse. Iruka, who had recovered, finally made his way up the cliff, and the attack stopped.</p><p>Neji looked over the cliff, searching for any sign for Gaara in the current below, but saw nothing. All he could see were rocks, sticking out from the raging river. If Gaara had hit any of those rocks….</p><p>“Master…”</p><p>“Find him,” he ordered shakily, his nails digging into the dirt and rocks, splitting the ends of his nails and causing his fingertips to bleed.</p><p>“Master, with all due respect, a human surviving the fall…”</p><p>He grabbed the guard’s clothes, yanking him close. “If I tell you to find him, you fucking find him.” Neji dropped his eloquent speech, slipping into vulgar words unbefitting of a lord. The guard took the hint, immediately bowing and jumping down the cliff himself, landing on the exposed rocks, his feet slipping only slightly. Only his shadow guard could manage such a feat, especially before nightfall. Even Neji at his full ability would not have been able to land so smoothly. He had not trained in ninjitsu after all.</p><p>But he wanted to get down there. He wanted to search. He impatiently looked to the sun, waiting for his full abilities to return to him. It would take too long going around. It was better to wait. But why did it feel as if time would not move? Gaara could not swim well, what if he was barely holding onto a rock or tree, waiting to be rescued. What if he had washed up, bleeding and broken, waiting for Neji to save him. He was so frail when he was in Neji’s arms before. A child. He looked to Neji for protection.</p><p>As he waited, the anxiety grew. All he could do was search the shores and waters from where he was, looking for any sign of the boy, fearing the worst, knowing that it was unlikely he had survived the fall. The moment his strength returned, when the sky became significantly dark enough, he went to go search for the boy himself, diving off the cliff to search the waters.</p><hr/><p>They searched all night but could not find any sign of him in the area. Shisui would sometimes look at him, waiting for Neji to call off the search, but he never did. When they couldn’t find him, Neji just continued his search downriver, searching the banks, hoping the boy managed to get to shore.</p><p>A part of him feared what he would find. A broken body with lifeless green eyes. A body torn apart and partially eaten by wolves and eyes eaten out by crows. Maybe he never made it to shore, his body dragged down into the river’s depths, caught in the rocks where he had drowned to death. Humans were so frail, and he knew it was likely he would never see that boy again.</p><p>He should have left him at the camp. He would have been safer there. He would have had more guards and protection. If he had at least been riding with him, he could have at least protected Gaara from the fall with his body.</p><p>Two days he searched. He didn’t think about going home. Didn’t think about how the people in the manor were probably panicked that he had not returned. He had to find him.</p><p>“Master,” Iruka, who had chased after the attackers, called out to him. He had returned to his side some time ago, but Neji had ordered him to search as soon as he came back, not letting him get a word in before. “Master, forgive me for overstepping my station, but you need to rest. You have already weakened staying up during the daylight hours and have not fed for almost three weeks. You cannot help the young master if you go into a blood rage.”</p><p>He was lying. He didn’t care about his health. He just wanted him to stop searching. They both did. Why would they care for a foreign boy? “We will keep searching,” he said resolutely, his words final.</p><p>It was dawn on the third day when one of the guards finally found a clue. Blood and footsteps in the moistened dirt, and signs of a body being dragged away by several men. It was the only clue, and Neji grasped onto it with all his might. There was a chance the boy had survived. There was still a chance to save him. Hope swelled in his chest, setting out to follow after the trail immediately.</p><p>The guards did their best to track, parts of the trail going cold having been so long since they were made, but they were skilled and managed to pick up the trail once more. Neji didn’t know how long he had been awake. Was this day six or seven? His determination to find the boy the only thing keeping him going far past his limits.  </p><p>Daylight made them crave blood more often. It made them tired. It made them weak. His prolonged day schedule had been sapping away his strength slowly but surely over the weeks, but now, not even resting at night, his could hardly recover at all even with nightfall. His stomach twisted with hunger, his fangs ached, and his mouth felt dry and itchy. Early signs that he was extremely low on blood. His strength would soon leave him even at night if this continued and staying awake during the day would become impossible, but he kept pressing forward. No second could be wasted even for time to eat.</p><p>As they closed in, they lost the trail due to rain, but they were close. They went into town, asking around about undesirables. They had seen evidence of someone being dragged, hoofprints, and carts. Slavers or possibly bandits. If they took the boy, they may have been planning to sell him.</p><p>Just the thought of someone touching Gaara made him so livid, he thought of punishing his guards for not finding Gaara yet. Waiting for the information was torture. He knew from experience what the boy could be experiencing right now. Slavers sometimes wanted to “test out the goods”. He would not forgive anyone if Gaara had to experience something like that.</p><p>They eventually got a lead. Rumor had it there were some unsavory people who had been hanging out around an old farmhouse nearby. They bought horses and sought out the rumored farmhouse.</p><p>As they neared, the smell of blood hit their noses, growing thicker by the second. The smell of blood lulled him, and a couple of times, he blacked out only to regain consciousness and feel his fangs fully extended. His blackouts were only seconds long, but he knew that he would not be able to resist eating much longer if he wished to stay sane. He prayed to the gods that Gaara was there.</p><p>The scent of blood was so thick, you would think the soil was soaked with blood. They were not too far off. When they emerged from the trees, there was one person standing in the fields out in the open. Bodies were littered around him, blood staining the water of the rice patties red and soaking the walkways in between. Blood dripped from the tip of the sword he held.</p><p>At their entrance, the man turned, revealing Gaara, an intense murderous gaze aimed at them, already moving his body to defend himself at the new threat that presented itself. There was nothing childish about the person in front of Neji. There was nothing weak or fragile. This was a man. A very dangerous and capable man who had managed to kill all the people who had taken him given the chance.</p><p>The clouds that had covered the moon finally moved, letting the moonlight shine down on them. Gaara was covered in blood, both his and his enemies. His clothes were tattered and torn, his hair out and wild. He looked ferocious, his eyes challenging his opponent to come at him. If there was a god of war, would this not be it?</p><p>Gaara squinted his eyes, and slowly he realized their identities, lowering his sword. “Neji?” he asked quizzically and cautiously, not entirely letting his guard down.</p><p>Neji could not bring himself to answer or move closer, just staring at the boy from his horse as if entranced.</p><p>Iruka took the initiative dismounting and bowing to him, “Young master, we are happy you managed to stay safe until we could find you.”</p><p>Gaara eyed the guard, recognizing him, but again looked to Neji, approaching. “Neji,” he called again a little more desperately.</p><p>Neji dismounted, and without inflection said, “I am here.”</p><p>Gaara dropped the sword, nearly running to him. He threw his arms out, embracing Neji. He smelled so strongly of blood, it was hard to concentrate. Even with the different strangers’ blood on him, he could still smell Gaara’s above all else. Sweet and enticing, calling out to him, but he did not embrace him back.</p><p>“Neji,” he whispered again as if it was the only word he knew.</p><p>“You are injured,” Neji replied in monotone.</p><p>“I am fine,” Gaara replied, pressing his forehead to Neji’s shoulder as he held him tighter.</p><p>Neji wanted to hold him. He could feel Gaara’s heart beating rapidly, could see the rips and tears of his clothes, could feel how he trembled from the cold. He could also feel the hardness of his chest, the heat from his skin, and the strength of his arms.</p><p>This was not a child. A man did not need comfort. Not from another man. This type of touching, it may have been okay in Gaara’s culture between friends, but this was not something friends did here. This was too intimate. He could not hold him, and his protection had never been needed.</p><p>Seeing and feeling Gaara okay, Neji’s strings were cut, no longer able to continue on with the exhaustion and hunger. He blacked out, feeling his body collapse in Gaara’s arms. He heard panicked voices, but they were unclear as his consciousness faded. As he fell into the comfort of oblivion, he thought of Gaara, thinking how nice it would have been if they were able to sleep together one more time.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Diary Entry 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I never thought I would be separated from Neji like that. So much has happened, and I have no one to talk to. Everything had started well. Neji and I, over the past couple weeks, have grown closer. A week ago, I heard him laugh. It was over a mistake I had made. A word I had used incorrectly. He wouldn’t tell me what it meant, but he corrected me, smiling when he patted my head. I would be annoyed by him treating me like a child, but hearing his laugh, I could not stop my face flushing and my words getting stuck in my throat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he got that letter, I realized how much Neji had let his guard down around me as he instantly reverted back to how we first met, stony, unreachable, distant. As I heard him say he was going to return home without talking to me or even informing me on the matter, I felt that he was going away. That he was going to leave me behind. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want distance to reappear between us after I worked so hard to get closer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji looked at me. Reassured me. He explained the situation. Explained how he wished for me to be safe with the others, but I did not care. I just wanted to be by his side. Maybe he thought the same thing too, as he relented to my selfish request.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The trip, while difficult, was something I was used to. There were times in war where sleep just was not possible. I was more worried about Neji’s condition. His mind seemed to be elsewhere, but his physical condition did not seem to be very good either. While in the military camp, I had noticed some things. During the day, he was lethargic, and while he was still skilled in fights it was never exceptional. In our nighttime spars, he was always more energetic, fluent in his movements, and more alert. Over the weeks, he seemed to be getting weaker.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I saw it here as well. During the day, he seemed to struggle more than during the night, his condition fluctuating; but even at night, he did not seem quite put together as before. Again, I wondered if he suffered from some sort of illness, but there was no illness that I knew of that would explain these symptoms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe it was because he was struggling that he was caught off guard. Though tired, I still felt nervous on the narrow pass, seeing it as a good place for an ambush. I was not surprised that we were attacked, but there was little we could do when the enemy had the higher ground. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Falling, I was terrified. The weight of the horse almost crushed me against the river bottom, and I was dragged along, my foot stuck on the saddle. I was filled with panic and fear, desperate to get to the surface. I don’t know how I survived. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My body was dragged under many times, thrown against the rocks where I would lose my breath. I tried to recall Neji’s teachings, tried to relax my body, tried to go with the river’s flow. I managed to get the necessary air, but that was all as I was dragged downriver. At one point, I lost consciousness. My head hit a rock. Even now, it still pounds.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I must have washed up on shore for when I regained consciousness, I was being dragged by people. My head was bagged so I could not see well. My arm was throbbing, broken though I was not sure at the time. Once they realized I was awake, they made me walk, tying my hands with rope and attached to the saddle in front of me. I tripped over stones and fallen trees, my feet ripped up from the journey. I had lost my sandals in the water, so I had to traverse barefoot.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We traveled for days. I do not know how long. I could not tell night from day and I did not know how long I had been unconscious for. They gave me water but no food. When they gave me the chance, I rested when I could, fed off bugs and edible plants if I knew it was safe. Staying in the military camp with Neji, I picked up some things from the soldiers while Neji was preoccupied. I tried to keep my strength up for the moment I could fight back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I had the luxury, I worried for Neji, wondering if he survived the attack. I wondered if he would even look for me if he did survive. If I were Neji, I wouldn’t. My survival was of luck. On the off chance that he did search, after a day or two and finding nothing, would he not assume I died? I was just an inconvenience that had fallen into his lap, he should be glad to be rid of me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At some point, we reached a building. They finally took off the sack on my head and fed me molding food. They didn’t want me to die. They were likely slavers or bandits hoping to get a good price for this foreigner they happened to find. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The others were outside the worn-down building around a fire and eating well. The cloth covering the doorframe had enough holes I could see them. They left one to guard, a sword at his hip. They must not have thought much of me or maybe they thought the lack of food had weakened more or maybe they were just stupid. My last captors had been careful to keep me chained, blindfolded, and disoriented.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Bastard, you must really wish to die,” I told him. Sometimes, I would hear Naruto curse like this. Staying in camp, I would hear these things occasionally. Haru would tell me I shouldn’t repeat it when I heard others say it, saying it was a vulgar way of speaking and someone of my status should not speak that way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What did you say fucker?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I say, you hug the wrong master’s leg for scraps.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The man marched to me angrily. Kicking me. He cursed at me, grabbing my hair and striking me again. I cursed at him again. He became livid, drawing his sword. When he swung down, I turned around. He cut through my bonds though he cut into my broken forearm. I hardly noticed as I subdued the man with martial arts, taking his sword and slitting his neck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The commotion gained the attention of others outside. I could see one coming to the entrance. I charged, sword first, impaling him onto the blade and slitting his belly open, spilling his innards. After that, it was like I was possessed.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>In battle, my body seems to move on its own. Everything happens so fast, it is if I just stop thinking, relying only on instinct to survive. My father always called me an unlucky child, that I was a bringer of death. Maybe he was right. I slaughtered every one of them. I could not feel the pain in my body when I did it. I felt nothing as I took their life. I just looked for my next target.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then Neji was there. He had come for me. At first, I did not believe it. I thought it to be another dream, a hallucination. But he was there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I cannot describe the type of relief I felt. The joy that he had not forgotten me. He did not abandon me like so many others had done. I lost myself, embracing him, wanting to feel him and reassure myself that he was real. He would not know my true intention. He would assume it is another one of our cultural differences. I know well by now that others do not touch so casually here, but lately, I have been using my foreigner status to do things considered inappropriate with less scrutiny. At least from Neji. And sometimes, Neji would return my affection. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was underhanded, using his lack of knowledge to get what I desired, and though I feel ashamed at times, the comfort it has always brought me, that I was the exception, always made my heart flutter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji did not embrace me. I assumed that level of intimacy was too much for him with his guards standing nearby. I should have been ashamed of my own behavior. As a prince to show such vulnerable, childish behavior is unacceptable, and yet at the time, I had not cared.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then he collapsed in my arms. My heart sputtered and stopped, scared that something was wrong. His skin looked pale if not ashy. His eyes were not closed but glazed over, his breathing was heavy as his grip on my arms tightened painfully. How could he look so weak but possess such strength?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One of the guards pulled me away from him, forcing my gaze to turn away. He told me that his master would not wish for me to see him like this. He took me away, making sure I washed and wearing fresh clothing. He would not touch me other than attending to my wounded arm and cuts I had received. During this time, I saw him receive a messenger bird which he sent a response for the bird to take.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After that, they kept Neji and I separated. One guard left to retrieve food and supplies while they waited for others to arrive, the other was guarding me. What about Neji? I had thought. Was he not the one who would have need for protection in that state?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I devised a plan to see him. I told the guard that I needed water, that I had not drank in days. There was no clean water nearby, and he did not know when his partner would return. He could not let me wander alone, but he was hesitant to leave. A bit of acting and the guard left, allowing me to see Neji.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do not know why they were keeping me so far away from where Neji was resting. I entered the farmhouse where I had once been held, the corpse removed, and cloaks laid out for Neji to lay on. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I went to his side, fearful of his condition. He looked like the dead lying there. The guards told me it was just exhaustion, but did exhaustion cause you to sleep like a corpse? He did not even seem to be breathing. What if the guards lied? What if he was already dead?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I reached out to see if he was breathing, my head trembling as I feared the worst, but his hand shot up, catching mine. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>His eyes opened. They glowed in the dark, like an animal’s would. I had seen this before since I had only seen Neji at night before we came to the camp. The look of those eyes had always drawn me in; however, tonight, my breath hitched. There was something predatory, locking me in place as he sat up, never letting go of my hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As he kept me pinned with his gaze, he brought up his other hand, caressing my cheek tenderly. “My mate,” he murmured, his chest rumbling as he spoke. “Have you come to relieve me?” he asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Though I remember his words, I still do not know what they mean. When I recall that moment, I cannot think. He did not appear ill. He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me flesh against him, his thumb rubbing over my cheek as he had down by the river. He looked as if he would eat me whole.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I said yes, not knowing to what I agreed to. The way a smile stretched onto his lips made me not care. He brought his face towards mine. I did not move or dare to say anything this time in fear of stopping him. His face moved past mine, his lips brushing against my neck. I felt my heart would beat out of my chest or maybe stop. I do not know. My heart was as confused as my head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He whispered my name, his breath caressing my skin. A shiver went down my spine, my body reacting to him. I sucked in air shakily, trying not to moan when I felt something sharp graze my skin. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was short lived. The guard returned, standing wearily at the door. He called out to Neji as if he was nervous. In response, I swear I felt Neji growl, his hold on me tightening almost painfully. The guard murmured something. I couldn’t hear it, but apparently, Neji could. Next thing I know, the guard was separating me from him while the guard who had gone to town restrained Neji. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Neji seemed crazed as he struggled, trying to get to me. I should have been concerned but instead, I too wanted to get back into his arms, wanting to be at his side. If I had to describe it, it was physically painful to be torn away, like a small part of me was being torn and abused.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The guard led me away quickly, telling me that Neji suffered from an illness at times where he was not aware of his actions, that he could hurt me without realizing it. He told me it was brought about from extended lack of sleep and food, agitating his condition, that most of the time, was not a concern. Neji had just been so worried about me he was willing to agitate his condition to find me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Was that the actions of someone who might harm me? Did you caress someone so gently, look at them as if you were the only thing in the world before hurting them?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I did not miss that a woman was waiting outside the farmhouse even as I was being brought away to where there were now others, wearing the same uniform as the guards who had escorted me. I was kept in their care and provided food. When I asked about the woman, I was just told she possessed the medicine to make Neji better.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I never did see that woman again, but I did not like her being alone with Neji. I wanted to be the one at his side. I wanted to help him, not her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As my mind settles down and I think back on it, I just confirm what I already know. If Neji had gone further. If he had kissed me or ravaged my body, I do not think I would have stopped him. I think I was prepared for it when he touched me. I wanted it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As we ride back to Neji’s home, Neji asleep in the back of a cart and I beside him, I realize how deep I am. I wonder if it is too late to climb out. Several times, I have caught myself, brushing his hair away from his face, seeing that color had come back to his face. This attachment I have, I wonder how far it will take me, how much I will lose myself to it? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We will reach the manor in a couple hours, maybe if I ask Haru he will allow me to make a home remedy to help his health. I want to make sure he does not regret coming after me, and maybe, if I am bold enough, ask him if what he did two nights ago meant anything at all.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. The Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His first awareness was the shaking of the cart. He could not open his eyes. He could not move. His body had shut down, repairing itself, replenishing his energy stores, regaining its strength after the weeks of the day schedule he had forced himself on. If he was in danger, he could probably wake. Even in this sleeplike state, he was aware of basic things. He could sense his people nearby who he had sired. His guard. They would not let anything happen to him. With this knowledge, he could rest without too much worry, but there was another he could not identify that was constantly at his side.</p><p>This person’s presence was like a warm breeze, warding off the cold and darkness. It was a presence that lulled him into allowing his care to be in those hands. Rather than a dark, dreamless state of being waiting to be awakened, this presence brought a comfort that told him it was okay. It was okay to sleep. Okay to rest. Okay to be cared for. This warm, gentle breeze caressed him, keeping him afloat in the darkness within its embrace. He wanted to hold this feeling and keep it close, but then it was gone, leaving him once again waiting with uneasiness to awaken.</p><p>Neji’s eyes opened. The smell of incense hit his nose. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. When he opened them again, he sat up, the blankets pooling at his waist. It appeared he had been brought home since falling unconscious. He looked to his right, seeing through the sudare, blinds made up of thin reeds that separated his sleeping area with the rest of the room, a silhouette of someone waiting. “How much time has passed?” he asked quietly.</p><p>“Five days, Master,” Natsu replied instantly.</p><p>Five days. He must have been quite out of sorts. Normally, eating every 2-3 weeks was fine. By the end of that time period, there was hunger, but enhanced abilities remained, and full focus stayed intact, barely impaired. However, a day schedule required feeding every 5 days at the minimum. Negative effects caused by hunger doubled, tripled if sleep was denied at night as well. At the camp, it was difficult to eat. There were too many eyes. Asuma could manage if he was the only vampire there and his body had somewhat adapted to a day schedule over many years, managing every one and a half weeks.</p><p>Between the last time he had fed and the time he had found Gaara, it had been over three weeks, several of those days lacking sleep at night. It had been the equivalent of not eating for over two months. Still, five days seemed quite long considering his lack of blood loss.</p><p>“How is the bo—… Gaara-san.”</p><p>“The young master is healthy. He had sustained an injury to his arm, but it was treated. He has been asking to see you.”</p><p>Neji closed his eyes, breathing in slowly. He still felt groggy, but he had slept too long. “Bring me blood and send someone to inform me of the manor’s status.”</p><p>“Yes, Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>He heard Natsu leave.</p><p>His behavior was concerning. What had he been thinking? Putting everything aside to look for him. Which reminded him, he needed to hear from Sugo sooner rather than later and see if information on their attackers had been found and if Gaara’s kidnappers had any hand in it.</p><p>Speaking of Gaara, what should he do with him? He would return him as promised, but the boy admitted that his living situation here was better than at his home. Would it be wise to keep him here? His movements would be restricted, and it would become difficult to continue hiding what he was when Neji did not age.</p><p>Did he have to keep it a secret? Neji had never intended to hide it, he just never offered the information. The boy may even be willing to go home if he thought he was a monster. Would that not be the best? He had become too attached to the boy. His judgment becoming impaired by letting the boy come with him in the first place. They were mates, but that did not mean Neji had to love him or give him attention as he had.</p><p>He became lost in thought, as he waited for his food to be brought, his thoughts occasionally derailing because of his muddled brain. Whatever he had been fed must not have been enough.</p><p>He heard a set of footsteps, no two sets, approaching his room, his mind focusing in on them. The first set was quieted but not silenced, someone who was not skilled in fighting, but trained to move gracefully and efficiently, someone meant to be seen not heard. The first set he heard kneel quietly at the door, a servant then. The second however was very faint to the point even Neji could barely hear them. Someone who was not meant to even be seen. “Master, Young Master Gaara is here to see you.”</p><p>Natsu? No, Haru. The difference was minimal, but Neji could tell it was the younger twin that had spoken with his slightly softer tone. He could not even gather the energy to be annoyed at Haru as he had often been recently. Before he could think of refusing to see Gaara, the door opened with force.</p><p>He was ready to muster up his anger at the break of etiquette, but it was how the door opened and the quickened second pair of footsteps that made him know it was Gaara who had done it. Neji could see his silhouette. No one had a silhouette like him, though the blind blurred his features, he could see the tray in his hands, his confusion as he looked around the room. This was the first time in his room, wasn’t it?</p><p>It was obvious Gaara was curious by the way he looked around, Neji did not even have to clearly see his expression to know that. He almost wanted to smile but stopped himself.</p><p>In Gaara’s hands was a tray, the smell of food wafting into the room. Was Gaara still trying to do servant chores? Gaara looked at the sudare separating them, looking for a way to raise them to get to him. “Are you now okay?” he asked, his voice trembled slightly like he was nervous. Neji did not know how he could barge into his sleeping quarters yet be timid asking such a question.</p><p>“I am tired,” Neji replied. “You should not be in here.”</p><p>Gaara shifted. He seemed anxious. Neji’s eyes turned to the tray of food. It was not a smell that he recognized. Why would the kitchen prepare him food anyway? Wouldn’t they know that he would want blood first thing after waking? Plus there was not enough time after waking for the kitchen to be informed of his waking and prepare dishes for him.</p><p>“You slept for a long time,” Gaara said quietly. “It’s been a long time since you ate. Since you are not well, I made food from my country… tried,” Gaara trailed off. “Vegetables different here.”</p><p>Neji sat contemplatively for a short while, seeing the steam rising from the bowl. “Haru, raise the sudare.”</p><p>The servant who had been waiting outside the room quickly came in to do as Neji asked, raising the blinds that acted as a partition, securing them before quietly excusing himself. Seeing Gaara’s face clearly now, he seemed unsure of himself, going to Neji’s bedside and sitting beside the futon and placing the tray down.</p><p>The food seemed to be some sort of soup. There were chicken and udon noodles in a brownish-yellow broth, with a variety of vegetables: carrot, lotus root, leek, onion, and bamboo shoot. Akira set the bowl in his lap, picking up some of the noodles clumsily, swirling it around the chopsticks with the otamajakushi, a spoon with a long handle. He used to spoon to keep the noodles from dripping as he brought it for Neji to eat.</p><p>Everything Gaara was doing looked awkward, up to where he waited for Neji to eat the food offered to him. He looked uncomfortable, and he was using the otamajakushi and chopsticks wrong. The chicken was a luxury item that would sit heavily on a sick person’s stomach along with the noodles.</p><p>Neji leaned forward and ate it. Gaara’s eyes lit up as Neji ate it, then turned worried as he picked up vegetables and chicken for him to eat. “I’m sorry. It does not taste delicious like one at home. It… tastes weird.”</p><p>“It's good,” he lied casually. It did taste odd. The broth was something he had never tasted and he had never seen these vegetables put in udon before, but it was not bad. He was not sure if he liked it or not. “I will have a few more bites.”</p><p>Gaara’s eagerness could not be missed as he quickly went to give him more, seemingly intent on feeding him. “You made this quickly. I have not been awake long.”</p><p>He did not answer immediately, focusing on his task and making sure Neji had another bite before he responded. “I just had feeling you would soon wake, so I made it. I was lucky.”</p><p>Neji ate a few more bites, each one growing on him a little, but soon his body refused it, putting its demand for more blood first and making the solid food unappetizing. Neji shook his head when Gaara brought the food to his mouth again. “I am fine.”</p><p>Slowly, Gaara put the food back into the bowl, concern marring his face. “You haven’t eaten much. Are you really okay?”</p><p>“It is… too much for me right now,” he carefully selected his words.</p><p>The boy put the chopsticks down, staring into the bowl. “You do not eat. You work all the time. During the day you are weak. You are sick, and it became worse looking for me.” Gaara trailed off, his hands were clenching the bowl tightly.</p><p>Did he think he was the reason Neji was here? Well, he wouldn’t be completely wrong. If Neji had not brought him along, he would have fed sooner and arrived back at the manor sooner even with the attack. “Do not concern yourself over it. I am fine now.”</p><p>“Then about before what happened…. When you did that to me… what does it mean?” Gaara’s face turned red, firmly keeping his eyes averted down.</p><p>Neji frowned. “What did I do?”</p><p>His face turned a deep red as his expression became one of embarrassment and humiliation. “Sorry. I spoke wrong. Don’t remember it.” He was stumbling over himself, back peddling from his question. He was quickly putting the food and utensils back onto the tray.</p><p>He put his hand on Gaara’s, hoping that the sign of friendship would calm the boy. “What did I do?” he asked again.</p><p>Hurt flashed across the boy’s face which he hid as quickly as it came. He pulled away from Neji’s touch. “Happy you’re healthy. Sleep lots.” Words were fumbling out clunkily in fragmented sentences. Without preamble, he left the room.</p><p>Haru rose, about to follow his young master out. Neji stopped him with a question. “Are you aware of what Gaara-san was referring to?”</p><p>Haru stopped, keeping his eyes properly averted to the ground. “I am unaware of the situation Gaara-sama was speaking of. Our traveling party arrived a day before you arrived with the shadow guard.”</p><p>He did not seem to be lying, and though Haru annoyed him, he was reluctant to believe he would lie now when he had never done so before even when he was being rude. So, he changed the question, “Did he really make the udon?”</p><p>“Gaara-sama has holed himself up in the kitchen the past 5 days trying to recreate his homeland’s food that is given to those that are ill. It appears Japan and his home country have very different foods that are available, so he had to try many times. He also did not seem to know that meat is a luxury item and went through several chickens, but none of the servants dared to speak against the young master.”</p><p>Perhaps he should have tried to eat a bit more. “Leave.”</p><p>Haru bowed and left to follow after his young master.</p><p>Neji contemplated whether he should get up and attempt to dress himself. Natsu was taking too long, but he was not sure if he had the presence of mind or coordination to do so. He hated feeling weak.</p><p>Eventually, Natsu returned with the blood he needed, feeling his strength returned with every additional drop of blood entering his system. The fog that had clouded his mind lifted, and he could finally recall and analyze the problem at hand.</p><p>Natsu dressed him though there was not much time until sunrise. Neji probably should have rested in his room for the rest of the night, but he wanted to deal with manor affairs and send messages out to his advisors to meet in three days’ time. Though Asuma would be unable to meet, it would allow Kurenai time to return.</p><p>He went to his study, sitting behind the desk and seeing the stack of things that needed his attention that had piled up over the month. He may as well get a start on it while he had some time.</p><p>He had only just settled into his work when the first person arrived. Neji continued his work as he allowed the shadow guard in.</p><p>Iruka entered, bowing to Neji. “Hyuuga-sama.”</p><p>“Did you find who was responsible for the ambush?” Neji asked.</p><p>“The attacker killed himself before I could capture him,” the guard replied. “However, he had a note addressed to you.” Iruka approached Neji, presenting a small piece of paper with both hands and keeping his head bowed.</p><p>Neji accepted it. His name was indeed written on the outside. Curiosity piqued, he wondered who would attack him just to get his attention. If Gaara had not been with them, the attack would have been a mild annoyance. The attack was not set up to kill him, assuming that the attacker knew what he was. At most he would have been injured, but it would have healed within moments. And given that it was a single attacker, it was unlikely a bandit and had targeted him directly.</p><p>Even if the attacker did not know he was a vampire, it still did not make much sense. Why carry a letter for him yet try to attack him unless it was a suicide mission and meant to get his attention. But there were few who knew of his existence directly. He moved under the daimyo he had instated on his behalf. The target should have been Kishimoto.</p><p>Neji unfolded the piece of paper, his face paling as he read the single sentence.</p><p>
  <em>Don’t forget about me, Yu-kun.</em>
</p><p>Yu-kun. There was only one person who ever called him that, who would use his name so affectionately. His hands turned white from how hard he clenched his hands. This… This had to be a joke. Someone was trying to make a fool out of him. It couldn’t possibly be him. He had searched for so long, found false lead after false lead. It couldn’t be him.</p><p>And yet…</p><p>The calligraphy was undeniable. The broad confident strokes that were elegant yet showy. How could Neji not recognize the handwriting of the man who taught him to write? But how could it be? He spent so long searching. He had finally given up. He had decided to move on with his life. Why now? Why?</p><p>“This. Why did you not give this to me sooner?” Neji could barely get the question out. His voice was tight and his words were rushed. The longer he stared at those words, the harder it was to breathe, like something was constricting around his chest as his blood turned to ice making him unable to move.</p><p>“I had intended to give it to you sooner, but the young master was missing at the time. The time had not been appropriate.” The guard chose his words carefully, but Neji knew. The guard was blaming him. When Iruka had returned, Neji had thought of nothing but finding Gaara. He hadn’t let Iruka get a word in when he returned. It was all because of Gaara.</p><p>A chill ran through him. Since when did he start putting his life and health second to another person. Had he not learned his lesson? Was he not just repeating his past mistakes? He tore the paper in his hands, but he hardly noticed.</p><p>“Do you have anything else to report?” He asked, but he did not hear himself. He didn’t even remember dismissing him. He just kept clutching that piece of paper in his palm. It was just a piece of paper, but it felt as if it weighed a ton, a constant awareness of it as Sugo came into the room next.</p><p>“Hyuuga-sama, I’ve come to give you the report of the state of the manor,” Sugo said. The old man’s voice for some reason set Neji on edge. Was that a tremor he heard? Was Sugo nervous? The hairs on his arms stood up as he waited for Sugo to speak, but his mind kept wanting to go back to the note.</p><p>“We have discovered the identity of the traitors. There were two.”</p><p>Neji’s body immediately tensed. Two of them? He had let that many in underneath his nose?</p><p>“The first was the Kishimoto boy you had taken in. He had received orders from his father to sabotage you. It seems he saw his punishment as an opportunity, blinded by greed.”</p><p>His fist clenched. “And the second?”</p><p>“Kotetsu was caught with letters from Kishimoto. When we went to confront him, he killed himself.”</p><p>Kotetsu was a relatively new guard. In fact, he was still human, scheduled to take his place as an official shadow guard in a year. It was the humans who guarded the mansion mostly during the day, and it was when security was lightest, and the vampire shadow guards that were present were weakest. As most attempted intrusions came at night, where most expected security to lighten, it often worked out in his favor. With Kotetsu’s suicide, it was an obvious admission of guilt.</p><p>But a traitor had been within his trusted guard. Had he not treated his guard well? Had he not saved them from a life of poverty and abuse, had them fed, clothed, educated, and even given some of them names. Those who would have died on the street or barely scraped by, he took them in with only asking their loyalty in exchange. “Did you discover the reason for his betrayal?”</p><p>Sugo bowed deeply. “It appears Kotetsu had an interest in men. The boy discovered this and seduced him.”</p><p>Neji wasn’t even moving. Not breathing. “Do you have proof?” his voice caught, but Sugo stayed bowed, not saying anything about his cracked voice.</p><p>“We found the original ledgers hidden in the boy’s room along with a token of the assassins who had attacked the young master along with letters between the guard and boy.”</p><p>Of course. It all made sense. The problems happened when that boy arrived. The boy was from a well off family who received a high education. The boy seduced another who had an attraction towards men, used him to get what he wanted, and like a fool, the man had gone along with it all. Skills, opportunity, motive.</p><p>“Where is the boy now?” Neji asked, his eyes looking forward but seeing nothing.</p><p>“In the prison. After interrogation, he confessed to his crimes.”</p><p>“Kill him at dawn. As for his father,” Neji paused. His face turned to stone as hatred and anger filled his eyes. “Ensure that no one survives.”</p><p>“Yes, my lord.” Sugo excused himself.</p><p>Neji sat at his desk. He did not work. Did not speak. He was just a fixture of the room, staring out into nothing, the piece of paper still in his hand. When Natsu came in, asking if he should prepare a bath, Neji did not answer. He stood up silently and went into the garden bypassing Natsu entirely.</p><p>The garden had always been a place of reflection. Just himself and no one else. When he walked in the gardens no one would approach him, though they may watch from afar. No one except one.</p><p>Neji stopped to stare at the soft purple hydrangeas, its petals mostly fallen off with the approaching winter. The sky was showing signs of early dawn, growing to a lighter shade of dark blue, but there was a light in the distance. If he concentrated, he could hear screams of panicked citizens, could smell the smoke in the air and the smell of burnt flesh carried in the wind. Fire alarms were being raised throughout the town as people rushed about to try to control the flames that were slowly lighting up the sky as it spread.</p><p>This peaceful and quiet garden belied the chaos outside his walls. As he reached down with one hand, cupping the flower, in the other, he never let go of that small scrap of paper.</p><p>He had made a mistake. He had let his guard down and had become lax in his discipline. Give up? How foolish of him. And how did he allow himself to get involved with that foreigner? To be swayed. He should have learned his lesson long ago. He was repeating his mistakes all over again.  He crushed the flower in his hand, looking at it with an impassive expression.</p><p>He would hurry the process to send the boy home and keep his distance as well as resume his search. Every person’s room would be searched secretly and root out any more rats. This had to be brought under control, and this time, he would not allow himself to be swayed again.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So  I couldn't think of an alternative for this in English. The character Yu was meant to be apart of Neji's original story counterparts name, Yuji means courageous second son. The character for courage is　Yu（勇）. And the person who wrote this note was basically calling him couragous-kun which makes much more　sense when going into the background of Neji/Yuji's character. Neji's name means screw and I could not think of an affectionate nickname using his name so for fanfic version story sake, we'll just say that the unknown sender took the begining of the word yuuki  (which means courageous but uses characters for couragous and spirit 勇気） to give him a nickname randomly rather than using the first part of his name as a reference. I hope this makes sense.</p><p>On a side note, I was pretty proud of myself using the term "boy" to indirectly see the child of the daimyo and Gaara overlapping in Neji's mind as "boy" had been used specifically used for Gaara up until this point.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I decided to switch Itachi and Shisui's positions back to what they should have been. I thought it would not matter too much, but Itachi with Seiryu works out better for me. Since I'm sure the few people who made it this far in the story have already read the Itachi Seiryu special, this should all be fine and kind of have it in your heads anyway.</p><p>Also, this chapter is a bit rough. I wanted to post before I went to bed. It is 4 am, and I work at 7:30. I didn't think it would take me this long to write but it did. I will make sure to edit tomorrow properly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neji took a drink from his sake cup. He had lost count of how many cups he had. Perhaps he should be counting the jugs he had finished off. It took at least this many to feel the effects of the alcohol. The dull buzz in his head help numb some of his emotions though he could not drink much further. Losing his faculties now could have dire consequences.</p><p>After being betrayed, it was hard to stay in the manor. How could he trust the guards when one had been seduced away from his side? Of course, the guards were not the only reason he was avoiding the manor.</p><p>He watched the performance below at the Heavenly Pleasure House, watching the entertainment. Down below, he could see Itachi dancing for the crowd. Itachi with his young face and delicate movements cross-dressed well, drawing the eye of people around him. It made him an ideal assassin as the majority of targets were men and often came to meet in establishments like this one. If Itachi could not intrance them on stage, he could observe them while he danced, reading their lips, and if he approached them, they would not find him suspicious as he could claim he saw them as he danced. Men appeared weak to what they deemed was a beautiful face. Even a god was captivated by Itachi’s beauty.</p><p>Neji could not see what was so attractive about him. He could admit he could fit the standards of beauty. If he was kabuki actor, he would surely gain fame for the female roles and have many fans worship him, but Neji could not see it. He just seemed like any other Japanese beauty you could find anywhere in a brothel if you assumed he was a woman.</p><p>Case in point, there was a woman serving him now, pouring his wine as he listened to the head mother of the brothel, telling him the information that had been found. She too was beautiful. Smooth white skin, blood red lips, dark silky hair elegantly put up. For a prostitute, she was dressed modestly, someone who would normally not serve VIP clientele, but it did allow her natural beauty to be seen, and yet when she served him, he felt no attraction.</p><p>She was probably popular with her clients. She read moods well, not shamelessly flirting with him or even looking at him, knowing it would annoy him. For a woman, she was tolerable.</p><p>“Surely, you have better information than you are reporting to me,” Neji said, drinking from his newly refilled cup.</p><p>“Only gossips and rumors I fear may waste your time,” Tsunade took a drag from her pipe. “You were quite specific in what type of information you were searching for.”</p><p>“I will decide what is useful or not. Tell me what you have heard.”</p><p>Tsunade chuckled, blowing out the smoke she had inhaled. “Very well then, my lord, there has been one rumor that has been spreading amongst the gods. A foreign ship has been trying to dock in Japan for a while now.”</p><p>Neji frowned. “That is nothing new. Foreign traders have been doing such things since the country closed. They will be sent away with time.”</p><p>“I am hurt you think I do not know this. If that was the only thing, then I would not have told you.” She took another drag from her pipe. “This is not a trader’s ship, but a war ship. Just one. And they have been trying to get in contact with the emperor even after multiple threats to turn away. Now, they are aiming to contact the shogunate. Whoever they are, they are very persistent.”</p><p>A foreigner’s boat trying to access the mainland was not that strange, but for gods to be talking about it, it may be of something of significance. He would send someone to investigate the matter, but he did not believe it would help him find the individual he was looking for.</p><p>“I see. You may go.”  Tsunade had a sly look on her face. She did not like being dismissed so rudely. Neji imagined she thought of poisoning him if she could get away with it. Perhaps if things were different, he would believe she would never go through with it. Now, he did not know who to trust.</p><p>Thankfully, poison would not kill him, but it could cause pain or make him lose consciousness, so each new bottle, he had the woman at his side test it first. She had to know what he was doing, yet she still drank it without hesitation, with grace, and dignity. Why couldn’t this woman or someone like her be his mate? Why did it have to be a man?</p><p>It had to be the gods’ punishment. To mock him over his past mistake. He couldn’t love a man. Not again. He had just been misguided. He could love women. He slept with them before, loving would not be hard. Who said mates had to be lovers anyway? It was not as if anyone understood what exactly mates did. There were so few who had found their mates. All anyone knew for certain was that it helped alleviate the pain of a long existence. </p><p>That was right. Gaara and him were not lovers. They were barely friends. Neji had no obligation to him other than sending him to his home country or let him live as comfortably as Japan would allow. He had no obligations whatsoever.</p><p>As she leaned over to pour another cup, he told her, “I will reserve you for the time being. Do not serve anyone else.”</p><p>Rather than looking up with surprise, she reacted daintily, hiding her shock, and calmly responding, “Yes, my lord.’’ The only reaction she showed that she was pleased was the small smile that she tried to hide. She continued to serve him until he finished the jug before he excused himself to return to the manor and continue his work.</p><p>He left the brothel, thinking about who to send to investigate the ship when he caught a glimpse Uchiha Sasuke. It was a brief glimpse of the guard before he turned the corner, entering an alley with a smirk on his face. Neji followed. As far as he recalled, Sasuke was known to come pick up Itachi at times, but Itachi was in the middle of a mission. There was no need for him to be here, especially in an alley.</p><p>Neji peered into the alley. Sasuke had someone pressed against the wall of the building, making out heavily with someone. The sound of their heavy breathing reached his ears as well as the rustling of clothing. Neji almost sighed with relief. As disgraceful as the action was, it was not a serious scandal. Sasuke had little presence in the city. Should he be caught, a rumor of an indecent scoundrel would spread but that would be the extent. All Neji had to do was send him away on a mission and the rumors would die down. A quick reprimand about being more discreet about his rendezvous with women, specifically to keep it in the brothel rather than outside it, would be enough.</p><p>Neji was about to leave when he heard a distinctly male and familiar voice reach his ears. “Uchiha, we can’t…here.” It was said breathlessly, stopping short when a soft groan escaped him.</p><p>“Told you not to call me that,” Sasuke murmured against his neck.</p><p>Hearing the male voice was enough to make Neji boil with anger. His nails dug into his palms. Another one? Why was there another one of them among his people? He stepped out, the movement alerting Sasuke’s trained senses.</p><p>Sasuke pulled away from his male lover, drawing his weapon in a swift motion with murderous intent in his eyes. But as quickly as he drew his weapon, he realized who was standing before him too late. He immediately dropped his katana, getting onto his knees to beg forgiveness. “Master, I did not realize it was you. Forgive my transgressions,” he quickly said. Even the rebellious Uchiha would speak to him properly if he made such a mistake, but Neji barely heard it. His eyes focused on the identity of the male lover.</p><p>Uzumaki Naruto, who was quickly adjusting his yukata, cheeks glowing red as he hurried to bow. “G-good evening, Nijima-sama.”</p><p>Him too? Was everyone in his estate entertaining this lifestyle? Had they all gone mad?</p><p>Neji’s silence made both of them uncomfortable, forced to stay bowed in his silence. He had angry words, but they became lost when he was about to say them. An ugly feeling writhed in his chest, seeing them stand before him. How could they embrace each other so openly? How could they not say anything to defend their actions to him?</p><p>Unable to say what he wanted, he went to his default behavior, cold and in control. He was a lord. He did not have to say much to make them obey. “There is no need for you to come to the manor anymore,” he said to Naruto.</p><p>Naruto’s face fell as disappointment settled in, but he did not argue with Neji’s dismissal from his tutoring position, keeping his mouth shut.</p><p>Neji’s eyes then landed on Sasuke. He couldn’t keep this person near him. He was susceptible to being used. “Uchiha Sasuke, you are confined to quarters. You are not to see this man again.”</p><p>He did not expect any pushback. Given the situation, it would be suicidal to do so. They both were in the wrong after all. Public display of affection, Sasuke technically not asking his permission to leave the manor and drawing his blade against him, all were grounds for punishment, especially the last one, yet Sasuke said, “I am afraid I cannot comply with your order, Master.”</p><p>Sasuke raised his head to look up at Neji, making Neji inhale sharply. Sasuke’s eyes were silver. </p><p>Neji’s jaw clenched tightly. Why did this have to happen and why Sasuke with that person of all people? He couldn’t get rid of Naruto, make him suffer, or leave else risk upsetting a demon lord who had a good relationship with Seiryu but going after Sasuke would upset Itachi which would anger Seiryu, not to mention Shisui who was one of his advisors. Did that mean he was forced to allow it? He could not stop it. He could not defy two gods.</p><p>“Then you need not bother returning either. Itachi-san will send you orders.” Neji could not bear to stand in front of them any longer. Could not even bear to look at them. Was there really nothing he could do? Why did he always feel as if things were out of his control, never going the way he desired. Would he really have to release Sasuke from his service when he knew too much about the inner workings of his manor? Or did he have to tolerate the risk of having a possible traitor in his midst?</p><p>The moment he returned, he holed up in his study. He did not want to think anymore. He wanted to forget, but that uncomfortable feeling in his chest that had appeared when seeing those two would not relent. What was this feeling? It was not disgust, but he was angry at them, seeing them in each other’s embrace. He just wanted it all to go away and leave him be.</p><p>He scowled, seeing another mistake he had made when writing his letter to Minato. His temper was ready to boil over, having no place to vent it when the door opened with force. The brush in Neji’s hand snapped. “Who dares—!” he started to yell but stopped when he saw Gaara standing at the entrance.</p><p>“Sorry. I haven’t seen you in three days… I was worried…” Concern was in Gaara’s eyes. He had become much more expressive during his time here, not as guarded when in Neji’s presence. Of course, Gaara had not seen him, Neji had been trying to avoid the manor and Gaara as he sorted out his thoughts.</p><p>Neji exhaled, trying to expel some of his pent-up aggression, “It is rude to enter someone’s office without permission. You have been here long enough to know this,” he gently reprimanded, turning his eyes down and putting his broken brush away. He reached for another brush.</p><p>“I know, but…”</p><p>“What?” His tone was sharper than he intended feeling immediately guilty at the slight flinch Gaara showed at his tone.</p><p>“Didn’t know… busy…” Gaara seemed to wither. He was brazen enough to run about as he pleased, yet he was acting so docile now. Though there was something fragile about him when his Japanese deteriorated when he was flustered. It made it easier to tell when something was bothering him.</p><p>Neji looked down, seeing the Go bowls being held delicately in Gaara’s hands.</p><p>“Sorry,” Gaara repeated. “I… want… see… sorry for intruding…” Gaara averted his eyes. It was obviously not what he wanted to say.</p><p>Neji’s eyes glanced over Gaara’s body. His garments really did bely the strong body hidden underneath it.</p><p>“The weather has been cold of late. Take care not to run about so carelessly else you become sick. Warm yourself here before you go back.” Gaara’s face lit up at his words, hurrying to step further into the study and close the door behind. “Natsu, bring the Go board and renew the coals in the room,” he said softly, knowing Gaara would not be able to hear him clearly while Natsu waiting outside would. Gaara did react, looking back to him asking silently if he said something?</p><p>Neji stood up from his desk, going to Gaara’s side and sitting across from him. Natsu returned with a board quickly and soon enough, they were playing Go, the soft clanking of the stones filling the room.</p><p>The rhythmic sound of the clanking stones was soothing, cooling Neji’s frayed nerves. Gaara had improved again since their last match. His decisions were faster, and his grasp of the game was better. It was not too surprising if Gaara had been to war and had led soldiers before. You either had to have a strategy or large numbers to survive and it appeared for Gaara it was the former.</p><p>“Did you fix your problem?” Gaara asked.</p><p>Neji’s face darkened but managed to say calmly, “I have not,” placing a white stone down. Trapping six of Gaara’s black stones.</p><p>They played in silence for a while before Gaara spoke again. “Can I help? I cannot read and write well, but I am good with numbers and can fight well.” Gaara put his stone down. He still did not hold the stones correctly, holding the stones between his thumb and index finger compared to Neji who held it with his index finger below the stone and middle finger on top. Neji never corrected him in how to hold the stones.</p><p>Gaara had a rougher exterior from his hair, where his shorter strands curled, to his cross-legged way of sitting and posture. He carried the aura of someone with authority and dignity but lacked the posture and elegance of someone in that position while Neji was traditional and elegant in every sense of the word, sitting in the seiza position, always minding his posture, and doing things the traditional way. Their way of holding the stones, Neji’s refined and soft movements to Gaara’s straightforward and forceful placements, matched their perspective personalities.</p><p>“You do not need to worry about things that do not concern you. You are still young and should live without worrying while you can.”</p><p>Gaara looked up from the board. “You always speak as if I am so much younger than you. How old are you?”</p><p>Neji kept his eyes on the board as he placed another stone, “Much older than I appear,” was all Neji answered.”</p><p>Gaara seemed disappointed about something, his jaw clenching a bit. “Even if you are much older than me, I won’t speak as if you are higher than me.”</p><p>“You think you are my equal still? You are quite brave.”</p><p>“I am higher than you anyway.”</p><p>Neji lifted an eyebrow. “Is that so? Please explain.”</p><p>Gaara suddenly shut up, his eyes darting away. He was still tight-lipped about his background. Given his statement, he believed his status to be above Neji’s.  Interesting.</p><p>“Then how about we find a compromise? When addressing me in front of my men will you address me more formally?”</p><p>Neji was placing his stone down when Gaara returned with a counteroffer. “If I do, will you call me only Gaara? No san.” The stone slipped from Neji’s grasp, disturbing the placed stones.</p><p>“What?” his voice wavered, forgetting his manners. To ask him such a thing, did he even know what he was asking?</p><p>“I want to be called Gaara. Not Gaara-san.” He busied himself fixing the board, returning the stones to their proper place. “Is it difficult to do?”</p><p>Neji tried to calm his heart, picking up his fallen stone. The boy was just ignorant was all. He meant nothing of it. So why did his heart pound and his palms feel slick? “To address someone in such a way would mean there is closeness.”</p><p>“Aren’t we close?” His question sounded so innocent.</p><p>“I refer to being a family member or lover. It is intimate.” Neji held the stone in his hands, his eyes unfocused. This feeling.</p><p>“Neji?”</p><p>Instinctually, he looked at Gaara, unable to help himself. Gaara always called his name so gently. Sometimes it was softly, other times I was with excitement at seeing him. When Gaara called, he always responded. This feeling in his chest, he had thought he had forgotten it, but he did recognize it. The heat that would spread to his face and make his body weak. That made him feel anxious but made him crave more.</p><p>Neji stood up abruptly, his knee hitting the board and jarring the stones. “I remembered that I am quite busy. Playing with you now is a bit inconvenient.” His voice tightened and sounded distant. It wasn’t just his voice that was distant. He shoved his emotions back into that dark corner of his mind.</p><p>“I… do not understand.”</p><p>“Leave,” he said coldly.</p><p>Gaara listened to him. He didn’t pressure him for answers or ask him to stay, he left, only stopping to spare a glance back at Neji and giving an awkward bow.</p><p>Neji sat back behind his desk, pulling his work towards him. He really had not learned from his past mistakes. “Natsu,” he called, waiting for the servant to enter before giving his next order. “I need you to do something for me.”</p>
<hr/><p>  For the first time, he brought a woman into his garden. The woman from the brothel who had served him.</p><p>The past week he had been going to the brothel every night, listening to the gossip and even doing work. Each time, he requested this woman to serve him. Her name was Nanako. He found out that she was very popular, hearing patrons complain about her lack of availability. Whenever she spoke, her manners were flawless and her voice pleasant. She could sing and play the koto which she did upon his request. She was a highly desirable woman, her only flaw being a prostitute, but her status did not bother Neji in the slightest. In terms of women, she should be the ideal type in appearance, talent, and temperament.  Whether she was a virgin or not did not matter.</p><p>So he kept her in his company, waiting for the feelings that were supposed to come when a man and woman were alone together.</p><p>As he walked, she followed a few steps behind him as a proper woman did, her steps light and dainty. She did not speak unless spoken to and as Neji was not one to speak much on his own, silence between them was the norm. Seated at the pavilion in the center of the gardens, she made tea for him and served him. She did it elegantly and beautifully as always. It appeared even while being favored by a lord she did not let it go to her head, never overstepping her boundaries.</p><p>“Is the tea to your liking my lord?” she asked.</p><p>Neji picked up the cup, taking a sip. As always, she performed the tea ceremony well and her tea was fragrant. “It is as if the flowers are blooming in my mouth. Your selection is flawless.” He meant the compliment, but he preferred alcohol to tea.</p><p>“You praise me too much, my lord. My skills are still lacking, but your praise honors me.”</p><p>A perfect answer too, Neji thought, drinking from his cup absentmindedly.</p><p>“Shall I recite poetry for you, my lord?” she asked.</p><p>Poetry often bored him. He learned it because it was expected of him to appear well educated, but it often did not move his heart as it should. “The weather is nice tonight. Fine music would make the tea more fragrant, would it not?”</p><p>She agreed with him and a servant went to get her koto, preparing it for her. Neji drank from his cup in silence as she prepared. As he waited, movements in the garden caught his eyes, drawing his attention like a moth to a flame.</p><p>Gaara was walking along the garden path a book in hand. Neji tilted his head, watching him fondly as the young man’s eyebrows drew together in concentration as he read. Neji watched him, wondering how long it would take him to realize Neji was sitting under the pavilion.</p><p> Neji leaned on his fist, a small smile playing on his lips when Gaara almost walked into the pond again. “It is inadvisable to try to take on two tasks at once. Especially when one can barely do the first task during the day let alone at night.”</p><p>Gaara looked up, stopping just in time before walking into the pond. Lips thinning, he backed away carefully. “Neji,” he said. Awkwardly, he bowed. He was still quite klutzy, making Neji’s smile grow. “The moon is bright. I thought the air would be nice.”</p><p>Neji watched him, his eyes glowing in the low light. While there was nothing abnormal about what Gaara had said, he rarely spoke that way. His way of speaking often reflected his direct thoughts rather than conceal them. What made him change his way of speaking?</p><p>Neji glanced at the book in Gaara’s hands. “What has captivated your attention and made you unaware of such dangers?”</p><p>Gaara made that face he always got when trying to dissect a sentence he was struggling with. It was a look that conveyed confusion, determination, and concentration. It was a mind at work. “I am reading Naruto-san’s book. He gave it to me. It is called Kazashi no Hime.”</p><p>Kazashi no Hime, a romance story written when Neji was younger. He couldn’t pinpoint the date of when but it was somewhere between 200-300 years ago. He did not miss how he had called that person’s first name. Did Gaara and that tutor have such a good relationship? He did not like it.</p><p>“I did not know you enjoyed stories of that nature.”</p><p>“He said it would help learn new words and appre… appreci… like Japanese literature more. It is hard to understand but easier than Genji Momogatari.”</p><p>Uzumaki had Gaara reading The Tale of Genji? Wasn’t that too advanced for a beginner? The language had changed since when it was written. It was already over 300 years old when Neji was born and over 600 years for Gaara. “Did you understand Genji Momogatari?”</p><p>Gaara shook his head no. “That is why he gave me this.”</p><p>Well, the fact Uzumaki even had a copy of these two books was impressive by itself.  “Studying too hard is bad for your body. Come enjoy some music before you retire for the night.”</p><p>Gaara’s eyes darted to the girl, making Neji glance at her as well. He would make sure she would keep Gaara’s presence a secret. If she valued her life, she would not talk.</p><p>Gaara joined him at the table under the pavilion, taking a seat beside Neji. “Will you eat with me tonight?”</p><p>“Have you not eaten though it is so late?”</p><p>“We usually eat together so….”</p><p>Thinking back on it, Neji had spoiled him by eating with him almost every night since his arrival. Did that mean Gaara had not been eating dinner lately, waiting for Neji to visit him?</p><p>Neji’s eyes glazed over with thought. He meant to put distance between them, and he intended to keep it that way, but avoiding him completely would only confirm he was running. “I will eat with you,” he finally said.</p><p>Gaara smiled. That simple smile was brighter than any light and warmer than any fire. Neji had to look away, feeling his face begin to heat at its sight. This was nothing, he told himself. “Nanako-san, please grace us with your music.”</p><p>The young woman looked up, then averted her gaze bowing slightly. “Yes, my lord.” </p><p>She began to play. It was a song Neji had heard before. It was one of his favorites and was played at the brothel often. Whenever she played the koto for him, she would play this song at least once. Without telling her, she seemed to have figured out he liked this song.</p><p>The song was light and calming and the lyrics would play through his head of a tragic tale of an injured warrior trying to return home. During his journey, he reflects on the beauty of life, coming to terms with his inevitable death, wanting to see his wife one last time. The warrior hallucinates seeing his wife and grown son, dying just outside his village before he could see them.</p><p>Making peace with death. There had been two times he had made peace with death, just before he had joined his lord and master and shortly after he had turned. Once he achieved his revenge, he was okay with dying. He never wanted to live forever.</p><p>Gaara listened intently, watching the woman’s hands delicately pluck the strings. He had that look on his face. The same look he had the night Neji had taken him to the brothel to meet Seiryu, a nostalgic look. Neji waited for the song to finish, being polite to her before speaking. “Your playing is elegant and beautiful. You must have worked hard to have become so talented,” he complimented her appropriately.</p><p>“I am happy it pleases you, my lord.”</p><p>Courtesies out of the way, his attention went back to Gaara. “What did you think of her performance?”</p><p>“It was pretty. I think of my qanun in my country. It sounds quite same but….” He frowned, trying to come up with the correct words. “I… I do not know the words to use. I would have to show you.”</p><p>Show? “You can play an instrument?” he asked surprised? Gaara nodded, looking almost longingly at the instrument. Did he miss it? “Would you like to try to play a song?”</p><p>Gaara’s eyes widened and his body locked up. Why was he so nervous? “I-I couldn’t. I have not practiced, and I do not know the instrument well. I will be bad.”</p><p>Was that all? “Are we not friends? Do you think I will be offended if you make mistakes with an unfamiliar instrument? I will think of it as a child learning to play for his parent.”</p><p>Gaara frowned, his bottom lip protruding a little. “Whose parent are you?” He stood up, marching over to the koto which Nanako relented to him.</p><p>Cute, Neji thought, watching the young man settle behind the instrument. He was provided Neji’s old picks from a servant. Neji had tried to learn the instrument a long time ago, but had lost interest, choosing calligraphy and art as his choices in cultural learning. The picks fit on Gaara’s fingers snuggly.</p><p>Tentatively, he plucked at the strings, listening to the pitch and moving the bridges, tuning the koto as he played and experimented with it. He liked watching Gaara’s mind at work, trying to decipher the koto.</p><p>“I think I tuned it properly,” he said slowly, looking up at Neji through his bangs. His hair had grown quite a lot these past months. He had started to do his own hair. He had called it a braid, three strands intertwining to keep his hair out of the way. Amazingly, his hair did not become undone when he braided it, not using anything to keep the hair in place. He had started braiding it in camp, teaching Haru how to do it before he left, but was not as skilled as Gaara was yet.</p><p>Gaara breath out slowly as his fingers brushed over the strings, and suddenly, his fingers were moving, at a rapid place, playing a fast pace melody using scales and rhythms Neji had never heard before. Due to the tuning, it barely resembled the koto he knew. A small smile played on Gaara’s lips as he played and grew more comfortable with the instrument, even tuning it more appropriately mid song.</p><p>The song wasn’t what Neji would call elegant, but free spirited as Gaara’s fingers danced across the koto’s strings. He would make mistakes and even with Neji’s unfamiliarity with the music, some were very obvious, sounding so wrong that Neji could not help but think of it as such, but the free movement Gaara displayed, rather than the poised touch and posture of a koto player, made him like it. Even Gaara’s often stiff and guarded body seemed to melt at the music as it played through the air.</p><p>Gaara’s hands stilled, his smile gradually disappearing from his face until it seemed he was lamenting. “Sorry, it was clumsy. The music I learned during my traveling from people on the street. It is music of dance and commoner stories. It is not … sophas…sophisti…”</p><p>“Sophisticated?”</p><p>Gaara nodded. “I can try more traditional homeland music or something closer to Japan’s music.”</p><p>But that wasn’t what Gaara wanted, Neji noted. He seemed almost ashamed of his talent. The music was strange, and Neji could not tell how much of it was performed correctly, but judging from Gaara’s expressions, it must have been done fairly well with how comfortable he had been during the performance. There was no doubt he was skilled with stringed instruments, being able to perform with little time. “Can you play another for me?”</p><p>A simple request turned the young man’s expression around, warming Neji’s chest because he had been the cause of it. Gaara played another song, this time singing in his native tongue to accompany the song. He was a bit shy as he sang. His voice wasn’t strong and it was hesitant as if he wasn’t used to singing in front of people. Rather than clear and light like the women who sang in the brothel, it was guttural with lots of vibrato. It was also unfamiliar and strange, but it was fascinating to listen to. Gaara never spoke in his native tongue except for mumbles in his sleep. This was the first time he had done so awake and aware.</p><p>Neji could not tell what the song was about.  He could not decipher what emotions Gaara was singing, but from the tone of the song he was playing with the koto, it was much more somber and slower. Should he say he liked it? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he did not want to see the nervous or anxious look on his face.</p><p>He finished, avoiding Neji’s gaze. He quietly removed his hands from the koto, putting his hands in his lap. Why was he so insecure about his performance all of a sudden?  “You are very talented. Your family must be pleased with your ability.”</p><p>It was supposed to be a compliment, but Gaara seemed to shrink away from the compliment. “It is late. I will go to bed. Maybe eat tomorrow.” His voice was subdued as he awkwardly bowed his head. “Good night, Neji.”</p><p>Quickly, Gaara dismissed himself, walking with urgency just short of a run. Had he said something wrong?</p><p>“My lord, the tea has gone cold. Should I prepare more for you?”</p><p>He had forgotten the woman was there. “No need,” he responded, already returning to his glacial persona. He watched her work. Why did he still feel nothing? When she performed, he liked her music, but that was all. When the song ended, he did not think about her or have lingering thoughts about the songs she played.</p><p>What was wrong with him? Why did he feel nothing? The perfect woman beside him and he could easily send her away without remorse or second thought. Perhaps he was not meant for marriage. Some men were better off being a womanizer, sleeping with many. It was what he had always done. He slept with women. That should be enough proof that he no longer had those types of thoughts and feelings, right?</p><p>It had been a while since he had laid with a woman. That must have been why his thoughts were getting confused lately. “Your playing earlier was very soothing. Perhaps you could perform for me again in a more intimate location.”</p><p>She smiled at him, bowing delicately. “I would be honored, my lord.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I could not think of a Naruto character for Neji to use. At first, I thought about TenTen but she would not be the "traditional Japanese beauty". In fact, the only Naruto character I could think that would fit that mold is Hinata which would be a bit awkward as Neji is her cousin in the show. I mean I could just say they aren't related, but how many of you guys would actually not relate them in your head.</p><p>On a side note, I noticed the way I write this story is so weird. There are a lot of Neji's thoughts as the narration, not particularly describing his actions or expression and his narration sometimes just states facts or observations. I mean it makes sense. Neji is acting as someone normally in control who shows little emotions and controls his actions like a proper Japanese lord full of grace and dignity and his thoughts are often him justifying a lot to himself, but it does make the writing in this weird, especially since I'm trying to have there speech sound older to match the older time period and Japanese speech hierarchy. God this story is weird. I guess I understand why it's not that popular (minus the pairing that is),</p>
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